A/N – Something I forgot to mention at the end of the last chapter. The 'Fear is the mind-killer' speech is taken directly from Dune (written by Frank Herbert). I don't claim to have written it myself. If you're really observant, you might have realised that Ruri read it earlier in the story (see chapter 9) and because of that I felt it fitted in there well.
Eighteen
With the densely forested banks, the lulling sound of the rushing water and the crickets singing ceaselessly in the grasses, this stretch of river was a pleasant scene of nature on a warm summer's night such as this one. It presented an illusion of infinite harmony, of a place untouched by man's destructive hands.
At the moment, however, this tranquillity was being dashed completely, as a tiny white figure burst out of the water, gasping frantically for air. She took two breaths then began to swim to the side, fighting against the merciless flow of the river. With a series of competent strokes and a surge of desperate strength, she reached the shallower water near the bank and righted herself. She took a few feeble steps with water lapping around her ankles, then doubled over and collapsed onto her front, succumbing to a series of vicious chokes. Her loose wet hair slapped around her and her golden eyes were screwed up tight as she desperately tried to force the water out of her system. Eventually, the barrages of choking relented enough so that she could crawl onto dry land proper, but there she subsided once more, her arms no longer strong enough to support her.
She lay there face-down in the mud, all her strength expended on battling that river's mighty currents. Cutting her way out of the sack with Matador's tiny knife had only been the beginning of her escape – she'd then had to swim her way to freedom. The flow of the river had been stronger then she'd anticipated, as if it had joined forces with the assassin. Nevertheless, after a desperate eternity of struggling for the surface, she'd eventually managed it and reached the bank against all odds. She thanked whichever guardian angel was watching over her – tonight's challenge had tested the limits of her luck, strength and composure, but she'd come through it alive. Drenched and half-drowned, but alive.
As she lay there, it suddenly occurred to her that the assassin would probably search the banks of the river, hoping to find her washed up corpse. That would certainly be the rational action. Which meant that she should move as soon as possible if she didn't want to be discovered. She raised her head slightly, but immediately let it sink to the mud again. Why did she have to move now? She felt totally drained – standing up would require more effort then she would willingly give at the moment.
"Ruri?"
Her head shot up again as she head the faint mention of her name in the distance. Was someone calling her? Or was it just her mind playing tricks on her?
"Ruri?"
That time she definitely heard it. It was a female voice so it couldn't possibly be the assassin. Was someone searching for her?
In any case, it was time to get up. With a low groan, she slowly hauled herself to her feet, her limbs complaining with every movement. Most of her bare skin was covered with mud now and her soaking nightdress had been completely ruined by the ordeal. She was a total mess, both physically and mentally, as she tentatively began walking towards the voice that had called her name. As she went onward, she whipped out her long, sodden hair behind her and decided that a shower was definitely in order.
It was tough going in this dark wilderness, but the full moon gave her sufficient light to see where the forest ended and the river began. For now she walked upstream towards the voice, knowing that she'd eventually meet the road along this way. She kept her ears peeled and walked lightly – chances were she wouldn't survive another run-in with that Matador person.
"Ruri?"
The voice was much closer now, so Ruri could hear it clearly for the first time. She recognised it well – it was the only voice she'd listened to for the past few weeks.
"Mikoto?" she called out softly.
"Ruri?" The familiar form of her roommate suddenly emerged from the darkness, running towards her. Even in this poor light, Ruri could see her eyes were wide with amazement. For a brief instant, Ruri's own mirrored them – what was she doing here?
"Oh Ruri, you're alive!" Her voice broke on the final word, showing her relief.
"Yes, I was lucky," she whispered striding forward past her. "Come on, that assassin may still be around and we are in danger while he is. We should head back to the orphanage right away."
"Okay, okay," Mikoto said, still sounding shaky as she turned around to follow her. "But are you alright? You look a real mess! Are you hurt at all?"
"Not seriously, just a little shaken up." Ruri started to walk forward at a faster pace. Strangely, having someone here with her had given her a confidence injection, making her feel as if she should assume command.
"I'm just so glad to see you!" babbled Mikoto from behind. Clearly the shock of tonight's events had completely frayed her nerves, making her more talkative then usual. "I mean you-you nearly died! Oh my, this is so scary!"
Yes, she had nearly died, but stating the fact was not helping anyone. "Will you please try and calm down," Ruri said, keeping the irritation out of her voice despite her soiled state. "There is little sense in wondering what might have been, when the actual events have produced this outcome."
"But you could have been killed! He came so close to finishing you off Ruri. And what if he comes back again? For heaven's sake Ruri, what are you going to do?"
"Firstly, we will return to the orphanage. Then I will figure out what I have to do," said Ruri with a patience she did not feel. "Come on, let's go,"
"'kay," murmured Mikoto in a tiny voice. Strangely, she seemed more afraid then Ruri at the moment even though she had only been a spectator. There were a few moments of silence as the dimpled girl ran forward up alongside her and matched Ruri's faster pace. Then she started talking again.
"I was so scared when I first saw him," she blurted. "I woke up when he came in through the window, but I was so scared that I just lay there and pretended to sleep. Then you came back in and he ambushed you and took you away and I just didn't know what to do! So I decided to follow you. I followed you all the way to the bridge, but I was too frightened to do anything but watch! Then I saw you attack him, but when he grabbed you and put you in the sack and threw you in the water, I thought you were done for! I nearly fainted, I was just so frightened!"
"You were frightened," thought Ruri wryly, but kept her mouth shut.
"But when I saw you'd gotten out of the sack, I decided to look for you, so I checked along the bank, hoping I could find you and I'm so glad I have!"
Ruri nodded, not wanting to speak anymore at this point. By now, they had rejoined the road, which was totally empty at this time of night. She was careful to look along it both ways before they left the cover of the woods, but there was no sign of anyone, let alone the assassin. Nevertheless, they kept in the shadows of the trees as they followed the route back to the orphanage.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Mikoto asked again.
"Yes," Ruri assured her, before sneezing heavily.
"Hey, you're soaking wet!" said her roommate, as if she'd just noticed. "Here, take this," Mikoto took off her jacket and gave it to her. She was just wearing her nightdress underneath – she hadn't given herself time to change before heading out to follow them. Ruri thanked her and put it on. It didn't make her any warmer, but kept out the summer wind which had intensified the cold brought on by the dampness of her clothing.
There was another period of silence, but predictably Mikoto broke it again. By now Ruri was getting a little annoyed, but again didn't let it show on her exterior. She was an expert on that.
"Uh, Ruri? How did you get out of the sack? You know, after he shoved you in and dumped you into the water?"
Ruri sighed, but answered the question. "I was able to cut my restraints with a piece of glass, but I kept my hands behind me so he wouldn't realise. When he tried to mark me with the knife, his grip was loose, so I could knock it out of his hands. I also struck his eye with the shard of glass,"
"Yeah, yeah I saw that. But how did you get out of the sack?"
"While he was distracted by the pain, I fell on his knife and put it up my sleeve, before he could see me do it. He thought that the knife had fallen into the water and that I'd failed to reach it. So he continued according to his plan. However, once I was below the water, I was able to cut myself out with his knife and swim to safety," She breathed in to conclude her recollection of her escape.
"Wow," gasped Mikoto. "You did all that? And it worked?"
"On the grounds that I am standing here now, I would say yes,"
"Wow," Mikoto breathed in admiration. "You're incredible! You're like a T.V. heroine or something!"
"I did what I did out of self-preservation," stated Ruri blandly. "I was not trying to impress anyone,"
"But still! I think it's really…"
"Please Mikoto, enough," sighed Ruri, her patience finally exhausted.
"Oh," Mik looked taken aback, but immediately fell silent as Ruri had requested.
They went the rest of the trip without speaking. While they walked along, both of them kept a wary eye on their surroundings, but their uneventful walk wasn't interrupted. Ruri was thankful for that, since she now had another concern to deal with. Though she looked passive and drained on the outside, inwardly she was applying her brilliant mind to the current situation. Even now, a clever, yet drastic plan of action was formulating within her.
She just hoped she had the courage to pull it off.
* * *
Mikoto re-entered the room carrying a steaming mug. "Here's your hot chocolate," she said. Now that they were back at the orphanage she had calmed down and was acting more like her usual self.
"Thank you," Ruri took it gratefully with a quivering hand. The inner cold and the shakiness from her close encounter had gelled into one, making it hard for her to stop trembling. The scalding warmth of the cup felt wonderful, so she held it in both hands trying to restore some feeling into them. They'd done everything they could to get her warm again. She'd showered, (the scalding touch of the water had been heavenly after her ordeal), changed into dry clothes and was now sitting in the games room swathed in blankets with her back to the radiator and a towel wrapped around her head. Mikoto had switched on the central heating on her way to the kitchen, but it hadn't quite kicked-in yet.
"Are you feeling any better?" Mikoto asked concernedly as she sat down next to her against the heater.
"I'm a bit warmer and drier," Ruri replied, before blowing on her drink. "Though I'm still recovering from the shock,"
"I bet you are," said Mik. "I'll never know how you made it,"
Ruri took a sip, grimacing as she burned her lips on the hot liquid. "I was very lucky," she said. "In that he chose an idiotic way to try and kill me. Had he decided to kill me with his knife or retied my hands before putting me in the sack, I would not have survived. Furthermore I was able to keep calm and not panic, which was vital to my escape,"
"Hmm, yeah," Mikoto nodded in agreement.
Ruri took another sip, taking more care this time. Then she looked around at her roommate and asked her, "Do you know what the time is?"
"Uh, hang on," Mikoto craned her neck to look up at the games room clock, which was directly above them. "Its quarter to four!" she replied with a laugh. "Wow, I've never been up this late!"
Of course Ruri had seen this hour several times after many, many night-shifts on the Nadesico. Back then, the darkness outside never lifted. She didn't bother mentioning it though – she had something else to say.
"Mikoto?" she started softly.
"Yes? What is it Ruri?"
Ruri lowered her eyes to the mug in her hands. "I'm going to have to leave the orphanage tonight,"
"Huh?! Leave?! You're kidding, right?!" Mikoto blurted incredulously.
Shaking her head slowly, Ruri replied in a low voice, brim-full with reason. "I can't stay here any more. I have no doubts now that Nergal want me killed. They know where I am, so I can't hide from them here. I have to leave as soon as possible."
"Okay, okay, I hear you. But do you have to leave tonight? I mean, you nearly died a minute ago! Shouldn't you recover or something first?"
"I wish I could, but I must leave while I have the initiative. Nergal think I'm dead. While they do, I don't have to worry about any more assassins," Ruri took another drink, sighing with pleasure as she brought the cup back down.
It was clear that the shock was still settling in to the purple-haired girl, for her next question came out as a stammer. "B-But where will you go?"
Closing her eyes, Ruri bowed her head as if in prayer. She opened her mouth the tiniest fraction, only to abruptly shut it again. Mikoto stared at her with wide eyes, still expecting a reply. When it was clear she'd have to prod for one, she spoke again.
"Don't you know yet?"
"No, I do know where," murmured Ruri. "But I shouldn't say anything,"
At that response, Mik's expression immediately became hurt, her jaw falling and her blue eyes beginning to shimmer. "You…you think that I'd betray you? Don't you trust me?!"
"No, it's not that," replied Ruri calmly, absently stroking the white mug with her thumb. "You must understand that the more you become involved with my life, the greater danger you put yourself and your friends in. For your own safety, it is better that you do not know where I am going,"
Mikoto was defiant. "I'm not scared of danger! I want to be involved! I want to stand by you and help you!"
It sounded so noble, but Ruri was observant enough to see that this wasn't spoken from the heart. It was just false boldness, spoken for drama, not backed up by real courage. Mikoto was just saying this to sound like one of her gallant T.V. heroes who would never desert their friends! She didn't mean what she was actually saying. The saddest part, Ruri thought, was that she didn't realise it herself. She sighed in despair, how could she possibly make her understand that?
Children could be a bother.
"I am very grateful for all the support you've given me over the past two weeks," she said. "You've made things a lot easier then they otherwise would have been. I thank you for that. But you cannot help me anymore."
Ruri immediately regretted that final sentence when she saw its effect on Mikoto. Her lips were now quivering and tears were gradually seeping from her squinted eyes. "B-But I thought we were in this together!" she burst out.
"We were, but the situation has changed," Ruri asserted, trying to make her see reason. "This is something that I have to deal with alone. While I appreciate your eagerness, there comes a point when we must be true to what we are. And that means we must go separate paths. Please understand that." She sighed again deeply, then turned around so that her beautiful golden eyes were facing Mikoto's sapphire blue ones. "Life isn't an anime show, Mikoto. My fellow crewmates learned that the hard way,"
It was unclear whether Mikoto understood what Ruri had actually said, or whether she had just accepted it as wisdom, or even if it had mattered to her at all. In any case, Ruri suddenly found herself enfolded in her arms. Mik held her tightly, like a child to a mother.
"I'll never forget you Ruri!" she whispered, her voice cracking.
Ruri initially sat still, her expression revealing how awkward she felt. Then eventually something gave in her and she placed her own arms around the other girl. If it satisfied her friend, then she would play along with the drama.
"I will not forget you either," she replied, calm as ever. "Thank you for everything,"
"I-I wish I could help…" stuttered her friend.
"I know. But you have already done your bit for me,"
They parted their embrace and Ruri could see the silent tears running down her roommate's cheeks. She watched, baffled, as Mik wiped them away with her lime-green nightdress.
"Why is she crying? Is my leaving so difficult for her to accept? Is she so upset that she can't help me? No, it's not just that. This whole situation is out of her depth. She is afraid. Like me."
"Will I ever see you again?" Mikoto sobbed, dropping her head to hide her distress.
Ruri hesitated. "I don't know," she admitted. When Mikoto's face fell even further into misery, she added, "But I hope so."
"I hope so too," said Mikoto, leaning forward to hug her again. Ruri indulged her by returning it once more. They held each other for a long time, Mikoto's face crumpled up in despair, while Ruri's was merely thoughtful.
"She's an idiot, but her heart is in the right place. Like so many people I know."
* * *
An hour later, Mikoto strode back into the games rooms carrying a small Tupperware container with a blue lid. Sixty minutes had given her the chance to come to terms with the situation. Her tears had dried up and she sounded as normal as ever, perhaps even enthusiastic.
"Okay, I got you some fruit, a few cereal bars, a packet of biscuits and a carton of orange juice. Will that be okay?"
"Yes, that will be fine," said Ruri absently, buttoning up her white shirt with her back to her. Mikoto had been so desperately eager to help her that earlier on Ruri had said she could lend a hand by packing her some food for her trip. It gave her something to do while she packed everything else she needed. It also gave Ruri time to dress. She didn't know herself why she had chosen her Nadesico attire for her getaway; other then it had felt right somehow.
"I also made you a ham sandwich," Mik continued with a bright, but forced, smile. "I figured I owed you a sandwich after before!"
"Thank you," replied Ruri, not facing her. She did up her cuffs, pulled up her black tie to her neck and donned her orange top. Finally, she fixed her hair into those bunches that defined her and turned around to her roommate.
Upon seeing her, Mikoto's eyebrows jolted up her forehead. "Wow! Is that your Nadesico uniform?"
"It used to be,"
"Cool,"
The pair walked out into the dim hallway of the orphanage and there Mikoto watched as Ruri opened her backpack to check that she had everything she needed. She took the lunch box from her friend and shoved it in among her other items – which included a blanket, a large kitchen knife for defence, what little money she had left on her and, of course, her trusty laptop. The resulting pack was heavier then she would have wanted, but she would have to make do.
"I have a favour to ask," she said as she rummaged through her stuff.
"Sure Ruri, what is it?"
The totally white girl picked up her bag and hugged it to her chest. "If anyone asks you, you haven't seen me tonight. I don't want it known that I'm running away,"
"But why not?" asked Mik, confusion on her face. "That's what they'll think anyway, right?"
"True, that is what most people will think. Nergal, however, believe that I was assassinated last night. If they hear any different, my life will be in danger again."
"Okay, don't worry. I won't tell anyone, not even Miss Nishida. You can trust me Ruri,"
"Thank you," She walked over towards the front door, which Mikoto had already opened for her.
"So you're really going now?" Mik asked unnecessarily.
"Yes. I have a deadline to meet," Ruri looked outside into the darkness. "I must reach my first destination by dawn,"
"Well, take care of yourself," said Mikoto. Her voice seemed very timid now - it was as if she'd used up all her emotion earlier on.
"You too," replied Ruri, using her usual monotonous voice.
"You'll let me know how things go, yeah?"
"I'll try. I will contact you soon if conditions allow me to,"
"'kay," whispered Mikoto with a wan nod. "Bye then," She extended a hand to her.
"Goodbye," Ruri clasped it with her own bone-white one. They held each others palms for several seconds – it was kind of a formal gesture of their separation. Mikoto gave her a weak smile, and Ruri found it in herself to deem her one in return.
Once their hands had parted, Ruri shouldered her backpack, turned away from her and walked out of the door into the night beyond. As she crossed the threshold, she suddenly paused. Somehow this didn't feel right. She felt as if she should say something else before she left. A final word of wisdom. Uncertainly, she turned around to face her ex-roommate again.
"Um, Mikoto?"
"Yes?" said Mik.
"I want to leave you with one thought. Something that a friend once told me,"
The purple-haired girl looked at her with curiosity plainly present in her massive shiny eyes and slightly parted mouth. She nodded twice quickly, signalling her to go on. When Ruri spoke again, her voice was quiet, but the words contained power of their own.
"Those Unforgettable Days. For Them I Live,"
With that Ruri shouldered her backpack, nodded a final farewell and walked away. Mikoto was gaping as she left, since her mind was reeling from Ruri's final words. Nevertheless she kept her eyes on her former roommate as she walked along the street, constantly disappearing and reappearing as she travelled through the glow from the streetlights. Her pace was casual, but quick as she began her journey towards her secret destination. Mik kept on watching her until she was out of sight completely, swallowed by the darkness of the night.
"Bye," she murmured softly as the strangest friend she'd ever had walked out of her life before her very eyes.
A/N - Before I put up this chapter, I was asked a very good question – can Ruri swim even though she wasn't taught any sports? My answer would be yes. Since the institute where she was raised was right next to a fjord, I think she would have been taught to swim for her own safety. What's more, she seems to have a strange affinity with fish – take note of her mobile and the fact she remembers the salmon jumping in her dreams. In my opinion that would also imply an affinity with water, and if she's comfortable with water, she must be able to swim, right? Well it's just a theory, but keep in mind that had I made Ruri unable to swim she would have had a very unpleasant watery death and we wouldn't have wanted that, would we?
