Born Of The Moon

Chapter VIII

Discouraged Distractions







Everything I knew had become a blur. My breathing had become uneven once again as Van tried to stop me from running. I screamed and ran for all I was worth. At this point, being a star track athlete had the greatest advantage of all. Van couldn't keep up with my speed and had given up almost just as he had started.

"I hate you Van Fanel! Don't you ever come near me again!"



I had not the slightest idea how I had gotten out of the castle, nor did I care. I just ran until I reached the marketplace and threw myself into a crowd of people, hoping to be unnoticed. My legs were tired from the sudden running I had done without a warmup and were beginning to ache. I sat myself down against the nearest shop, pulled my knees up to my chin and rested my head. I pressed my forehead against my jeans and began to whimper. I tried to cry, but for some reason I couldn't seem to. The truth was that I wanted, no, needed to cry, yet something was holding me back.

"You're a strong one, little Miss."

I pushed my hair out of my eyes and looked up to the shopkeeper above me. He was an older man with a long dark brown beard and dark eyes to match. I was in no mood to converse, however.

"What would you know." I stood up and saw that there was a mirror to my right. I slowly decided to look into it, hoping to god that I wouldn't see anything like I did the last time. What I did see was my own reflection, thank the lord. My eyes were bloodshot, but not from crying, and my hair was a mess now. It was hanging down past both of my shoulders, and just then, I saw my grandmother's face smiling back at me.

"You're strong, Hitomi."

I screamed and jumped away from the mirror as she spoke. No, I wasn't about to have any more damn visions! Not now!

"You see, she knows you too well, Miss."

I turned and gave the shopkeeper a disgusted look. Then, I noticed the katana blade resting on his table for sale. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill.

"I'll take that. I hope twenty's enough." I threw the money at the old man. He simply smiled.

I took the blade and went back to the mirror. This time, I saw my mother's face. It was a memory I had from a few months after I had returned from Gaea.

"My goodness, Hitomi. You look so much like your grandmother now that your hair's long!"



I closed my eyes and shook my head to try to get the thought out of my mind. The shopkeeper stepped away as I unsheathed the blade and pulled back my hair. Its length now was a little longer than my grandmother's was, about 3/4 of the way past her shoulder blades. I bunched up my hair and ran the blade through it. It cut past my hair like a hot knife.

The man gasped as a long clump of my hair fell to the ground. At least, that's why I thought he gasped.

"Hey there, Miss!" I almost began to run as a Fanelian guard came rushing towards me. "Are you the Lady Hitomi?"

I could only stare at the man with a cold glare. I didn't have the heart to answer.

"Idiot!" Another guard called. "King Van said she had longer hair then that! Come on, we're wasting time here!"

He apologized to me and ran off with the four others. The shopkeeper laughed again.

"Smart woman."





It was a long wait for Folken to return to the castle gates at the end of the day. I had attached my new sword to Belu's saddle and had found a new patch of grass to lay down in. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep until Folken had woken me.

"Still haven't gotten enough rest, I see." He said, extending a hand to help me up. It wasn't until then that I noticed that his machine-like arm was gone.

"Folken, your arm . . ."

"Yes," He laughed. "It's just a sort of mask for my arm. It's made of plaster mostly. I realized it would be a good investment as soon as I started to make frequent visits to Fanelia."

It surprised me that he didn't ask why my hair was shorter now. And also, why I hadn't stayed with Van. Maybe he had heard what had happened. Then, as if he had heard my

thoughts . . .

"I sense your uneasiness, so I will not bother you."



The ride we had back was silent. At least, as far as speaking aloud goes. Inside my head, everything was all but silent. My thoughts were streaming at miles a second, never ceasing. What finally brought me out of my dead trace-like state was a droplet of cold water on my cheek. I looked up to the sky and saw how dark it had become. Rain was beginning again.

"We had better hurry." Folken said, clipping Naru in the sides.

"What's the point?" I said, dully. Getting wet was the least of my worries right now. "It's not like we won't get a little wet by the time we get back to your cabin. Might as well get drenched and make the best of it."

I could feel Folken looking at me, even through the dark of this beginning night. The rain, unlike the previous time, was much lighter. It started as mist and then progressed into a constant fall of water, but it still kept its feather-lightness. Almost like a waterfall.

"I don't understand what I could've done wrong." I said without realizing. Folken seemed to realize this and responded with nothing. "I just don't understand."

My tears finally began to fall as we approached Folken's cabin. It seemed warm and very welcoming now, but I couldn't seem to move after I dismounted Belu. I was frozen to the ground as the rain continued to fall. Folken took a hold of Belu and Naru's reigns and took them inside their shelters.

I watched him as my tears fell as constantly as the rain. He placed blankets over them, and placed new food in front for them.

So loving . . .

I could see him glancing at me every now and then, but he didn't seem to be that worried. He then took a brush and he brushed out the knots from the both of their manes.



So caring . . .



The next thing I knew I was on the ground in the wet leaves, pounding away at them furiously, screaming and crying the loudest I ever possibly could. He closed the door to the stable and ran for me. I pushed him away and ran into the cabin on my own. I needed to be alone now. I needed . . . God, who did I need? Who could make me feel better now? Who could always make me feel better when I felt this shitty?







~Dearest Hitomi,



Well, after reading your story I can honestly say that it was amazing. You wrote it with such passion and I really felt as though I were there. Then you told me it really happened. Who was I to question you? You and I both know you're no writer, and for someone to just come out of the blue with a story like that was something else. I had a feeling from the beginning about that story of Gaea. The way you described things was just too realistic and unbelievable to not be true. Now I see how you hurt inside, and I understand why, ever since that incident with Amano at the track has changed you. How time didn't move while you were there and how no one really knew what had happened to you. I noticed a distinct change in you when you decided to move out here in Sendai. The girl I knew from Tokyo was no longer who she used to be. You were more optimistic now, with more of a personality, not that you didn't have one before, and you had more of a dedication to life. You seemed to be a better person in all, and I wondered what could've done that to you. It was definitely something that didn't just happen over night, ya know? The second I got into that story, I knew this had to be the explanation for it all, and it was just so overwhelming, I couldn't believe what I was reading.

I can understand all the reasons you have for wanting to go back and I don't blame you for a single moment. You developed a second family there, and since almost nothing is going right for you here now, it's only natural for you to want to go back to a place where you're welcomed, no matter what the circumstances. And also, it seems like you actually do belong there. The man you love is there and waiting for you, and his love for you couldn't be wrong. If it is, he deserves to die for leading you on.

Just know these few things. Even if your friends don't believe every word that you say to them, they will always love you for who you are. The same with your parents. We all love you and hope that maybe someday you will come back to us. You're a fighter. You always have been. Don't you ever get discouraged and feel like you have to come back just because something goes wrong there. You'll find some way to work it out. You've always been good like that.

Well, it's time to close this letter to you. I just hope that now that you're in the place that makes you happy, you can tie up all the loose ends you left, and lead a good life.

I'll never stop missing you, and don't forget, I'll always love you for who you are.

*Yuhan*





I folded the letter back up and put it away in my bag. He told me to read it if I ever became discouraged, and I didn't think that there could be a moment that I felt more discouraged and wanting to go back home like I did now. My world had caved in on me and I was feeling so vulnerable and just plain out of it. I felt a little better after reading his letter, but the pain of it all was still with me. I needed something to distract my mind. Maybe some wine would help. I wiped my eyes clear of tears and went to find Folken.

My hair was still dripping wet as I found him in his room again, writing it seemed. He hadn't changed yet and was still in his wet clothes, as was I.

"Folken?" I asked in a rather small voice.

"Yes, Hitomi? Is there something you'd like?"

"Uhm . . ." I paused. "Some wine and some company would be nice."



Folken came back to see me in my room after he had gotten some wine. He sat down with me on my guest bed and poured two glasses of wine for us.

"Here." He handed me my glass and I drank it all. Taking in a deep breath, I sighed and laid down sideways on my bed.

"I still don't understand."

Folken took small gulps of his glass as he questioned me. "Can you tell me what happened now? Or would you rather not talk about it still."

"I found Van . . ."

"Did you two talk?"

"No." I replied, closing my eyes.

"What did you do?"

I took a deep breath and replayed the scene in my head. "He was on his bed with his wings spread, and there . . . there was a woman underneath him. She was almost completely naked and . . . they were totally making out." Once again I began to cry silent tears. "I thought he loved me. Why couldn't he have told me that he had found someone else? I would've accepted it and moved on instead of having to find out for myself."

Folken rested his glass of wine with the bottle on the night table and laid down beside me.

"I don't understand his actions either. Maybe he felt as though it would hurt you too much if he were to tell you."

"He should know that I could've taken it! I'm an understanding person! He should've been straight forward with me and not have kept it a secret!" I was becoming a little pissed off now. "Can I have another glass of wine please?"

He passed me the bottle. "Enjoy."

I sighed in thanks and began to drink.

"You have a right to be mad at Van. He shouldn't have done that to you. He should've realized that it would hurt you more to not know."

"I wish I could understand." I said, sitting up and drinking some more. My head was starting to feel fuzzy so I decided to put the wine bottle back on the table.

"Thanks, Folken. For letting me stay here with you." I smiled, giving him a hug.

"It's no problem" He responded, hugging me back. "You're always welcome here."

I began to laugh hysterically, much to Folken's surprise. "What is it?" He asked.

"It smells so good in here!" I went to the window and opened it. Fortunately, the rain was falling in the opposite direction so none would come inside. "You know what it smells like Folken?"

"What?"

I could tell now that a buzz was taking me over. I walked over to him and whispered quietly in his ear. "It smells like sex . . ." I fell over laughing again, and I saw a slight smirk on his face. Problem with me was that I couldn't stop laughing. I somehow managed to sit myself up, but I still couldn't stop my laughing. As if I had just said that to him! He's gonna think I'm an idiot now!

Again I found myself laying down on my bed, but what I didn't notice at first was that Folken was on top of me. How he got there I didn't know, but my mind didn't care whatsoever. My laughing was beginning to die out now and I was completely focused on him. His eyes searched mine for something, but I couldn't tell what. I just smiled and closed my eyes and began to giggle again. Probably wasn't the most appropriate thing to do at the time but my happy mind couldn't think of anything else to do. Then my depressive mood came running back to me.

"You know what, I just don't care! He can be with that little whore bitch for all I care! I don't understand and maybe I don't want to!" I continued to yell with my eyes shut once again. "I just don't give a damn anymore! I-"

The next thing I knew, I felt his wet lips against mine. Funny, we were both still sopping wet from the rain, yet neither of us sought to dry ourselves off. I stopped, not knowing what to do at first, but my mind was too clouded to think of what not to do, or what was even right at the time, so I let my emotions take over and I began to kiss him back. Soon my arms were wrapped around his neck and I my back was against the bed, with Folken fully on top of me. I didn't understand why he pulled back when he did.

"We shouldn't even be doing this, Hitomi. I'd be taking advantage of your state."

"No you wouldn't! I'm not telling you to stop, am I?" I pulled him back down to and he didn't put up an argument for about ten more minutes.

"But you and I have been drinking."

I laughed and pulled him back down to me again. My mind needed a distraction and this seemed to be working pretty well. Dammit all to hell if he stopped now! I wasn't about to be thrown back into my fit of depression. My mind was racing as I began to untie the laces on his shirt. Folken didn't strike me as the type to do such a thing but I'd do anything to make me forget about Van right now. Anything.



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