A/N Wow I never expected for anyone to read my fanfic. So here I am with another disturbing fanfic with LotR in HP. Hope you enjoy! I messed up the order of the classes so it can be continuous! Anyways, I might change it later on. Not everything in Harry Potter can be Lord of the Rings...right?

Disclaimer: Yes I own all those perverted thoughts and plots. Whoa that rhymed. It was NOT suppose to rhyme.

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Why is everything LotR style? Because a teenage witch named Sabrina thought it would be funny to wave her little finger and put a LotR spell on Hogwarts. Blame her not me. I'm just telling you everything.

Harry and Dean skipped to Transfiguration. Yes they skipped merrily not as in the skipped that class. Ok? Good.

"May I ask why you're late Mr. Potter?"

"I dunno, I think you just did."

"Answer my question!"

"Err...ok. We had to stay after class to do nude class cleaning."

"I see that Professor Snape is cheating on Neville again eh?"

"Oh no. They made out- I mean then made up after that..."

"I see...this is interesting- Very interesting."

"Riiiight..."

"Sit down Mr. Potter and Mr. Thomas."

Harry sits down next to Ron and Hermione. Dean sits down somewhere else. I'm not sure where, but I'm pretty sure its not around Harry. Do you think I'm explaining too much? I think I am.

"Today we will be transforming elves into rugged, manly men."

The girls and Dean cheered: "Yay! Rugged and manly men! Whoohoo!"

Professor McGonagall pulled out an elf from her broom closet, which was surprisingly covered with lipstick marks, and said 'Yu Yu Hakusho!" (A/N sorry about that! I just HAD to put that there. I always wanted to say that!) The once clean and pretty elf (a guy of course) turned into a rugged and manly man. All the girls and Dean went 'Ohhhhh Ahhhhhh" while they guys went 'how they hell is this suppose to help us?'

"Everyone grab an elf from the broom closet and start! You will be graded on how manly and rugged your man looks. If their ears are still pointy then you have failed."

All the girls and Dean rushed to the broom closet, which was quite small, and pulled out 20 elves. They seemed to have been squished in because their hair wasn't as perfect as it should've been. (Gasp! The closet wasn't magicked?) Soon everyone started yelling 'Yu Yu Hakusho!' The elves turned into men and they didn't seem very happy.

"Your man is too clean you need more dirt."

Hermione seemed to have gotten it right because her man looked as rugged and manly as Aragorn! (*swoons*)

"Perfect man you got there Hermione! He's rugged and manly and he even has a trickle of blood coming down! How did that happen?"

"Err."

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't see that. 10 points to Gryffindor for every manly man!"

As Professor McGonagall had expected most students, mainly all the girls and Dean, had not changed their elves but instead they started snogging them. She didn't mind. She just undid her bun (*gasp*) and pulled an innocent elf into the broom closet along with herself. Dean finally stopped snogging and weakly said 'Yu Yu Hakusho' The elf didn't turn into a man he just had manly clothes now instead of the regular tights and tight shirt. Suddenlt Professor McGonagall popped out of the closet and said "Class Dismissed! No...leave the elves here." All the girls and Dean went "Darn..." Professor McGonagall shut the door and started 'making up' with the elf. (Everyone's a perv! Whoo!) After a few minutes in the closet she came out did her hair and headed toward Snape's office. She stood outside for a while, listening to hear if he was done 'punishing' Neville. He was.

"Serverus, how could you? You dirty two timing PIMP!"

"No! I'm sorry I didn't mean to shag Neville! He was just too-"

"Hard to resist? Yes I know. But still you could have told me first!"

"Sorry...FORGIVE ME!!!!!"

"K. But first..."

The door slammed and I just couldn't stay there any longer to see what was next. Please don't ask! It was so horrible to just hear! The horror! THE HORROR!

Okie now...back to the story...

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked into the Great Hall. By now the spell was so strong that every guy started wear either tights, Hobbit capris(that's what I call them), or really muddy pants and every girl and Dean started to wear frilly long dresses that had unnamed colors. Ron wore tights and Harry wore Hobbit capris. Dean look so girl-like (not that he wasn't already girl-like) in his new (insert unnamed color here) dress that Malfoy asked him out. Dean of course said yes. All the girls were jealous of Dean but he couldn't care less...you know why? DRACO WAS WEARING TIGHTS! (AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) (*swoons again*)

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A/N Sorry! I had to stop there! It was getting to hard to concentrate with the image of Draco in tights in my mind. Hope you either enjoyed it or totally grossed out! Sorry if I picked on Dean so much. Couldn't think of any other guy in Harry Potter. Now whenever I write girl I have to write and Dean after it.

Will Snape ever wash his hair? Will Dean snog Draco? Will Sabrina be stopped? Will I get a life and move on? Tune in next time and find out.