Departure Scars

Chapter 12:

"An Internal Pain"

Her whole body froze as she noticed the figure standing in her bedroom doorway. Her mind went numb. A wave a shock flowed over her body, making her snap to her feet. Her arms clamped over her naked chest and she let out a ear piercing shriek.

The small bouquet of flowers dropped to floor and became forgotten.

Kenshin was unable to move. His eyes were wide in complete shock. He starred, horrified at the stunned, half-naked woman before him.

Kaoru took a step back, suddenly breathing heavily.

Realization had just hit her like a brick wall. Her arms pressed tighter around her chest.

Her dark secret was no more.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Suddenly, Sanosuke and Yahiko were jolted awake by a echoing scream. In an instant they both reconized it and bolted out of their rooms, heading straight to Kaoru's. They came to a screeching stop, nearly running into the back of Kenshin. Yahiko and Sanosuke gave each other a quick glance, then peered over or around Kenshin worriedly.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Kenshin inhaled sharply. He had seen her. Beautiful...beyond beautiful. An enchanting beauty in his eyes...however...something had obscured her beauty and it had left a haunting memory in his eyes. A deep healing gash between her breasts. At first he thought was imagining the wound, since she had covered herself so quickly. But then he saw the guilty, frightened look in her eyes and he knew the truth.

A single question echoed in his mind.

"Who did it?"

When he had seen Kaoru at first...it had stunned him. Her weakened state. Even more fragile and vulnerable than before. It could have been mistaken for illness easily. Even when Megumi told him it was the flu, he had to admit that he was a bit suspicious, but he had dismissed it, telling himself that he was just paranoid. So he focused on taking care of her. Even when she was coughing and wheezing uncontrollably and he knew the flu had to do with the stomach, not the lungs. He still left those facts forgotten.

And now he was angry. How could he have been so stupid?! So naive! It seemed as if he was the only one that didn't know what happened. Everyone seemed to be shielding him from the truth. "Why?! Why would they do that?!" Confusion and frustration pumped through his veins vigorously. Didn't they trust him?

Barely noticing the presence of Sanosuke and Yahiko behind him, he decided he wouldn't let himself be deceived anymore. He took a step forward in anticipation.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

She clenched her teeth anxiously. Kaoru had seen the flicker of anger in his eyes and she had a sense that when he knew more, it would be directed at her. Now, she was regretting was she did to her self immensely. This wasn't how she had wanted this to happen at all.

Kaoru noticed Yahiko and Sanosuke peering at her from behind Kenshin. Wanting a little more privacy, she tipped her head the the side lightly signaling them to leave. Yahiko didn't seem to notice it, but Sanosuke did and he pulled him down the hall, giving Kaoru one last concerned glance.

Her gaze darted back to Kenshin as he stepped towards her. His expression determined, yet perplexed. Fear rang through her as his violet eyes sent a chilling shiver down her spine. She backed up.

Silence screamed in her ears just like his piercing gaze locked her deep blue eyes to his. He came closer to her as she moved farther away, until her back pressed against the wall and he was a few feet in front of her.

"...Kaoru." Kenshin drawled. Kaoru blinked repeatedly as if trying to comprehend her own name. She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She had no answer. She looked away quickly. Guiltily. "You have...what is..." He struggled with voicing his confusion.

"It's nothing!" Kaoru blurt, all of the sudden. "Nothing at all!" She surprised him and even herself with the sharpness in her words.

She could feel the pulsing of blood in her fingers.

"Nothing...nothing?! Kaoru, what happened!" Kenshin exclaimed; firing off the venting from weeks of stress building inside the couple.

"Nothing happened! It's just a cut! It's not important!" Kaoru cried. Kenshin's eyes narrowed slightly and he leaned closer to her.

"That," Kenshin announced to her, as he pointed his index finger to the valley of her breasts, " Is not a merely a cut! And if it wasn't important I wouldn't be asking you, would I?"

Silence.

"Kaoru...I want you to tell me what really happened." Kenshin whispered firmly. Kaoru grit her teeth and pushed herself harder against the wall. Dread filled her body, sickening her stomach. She wished this had never happened. She just wanted it all to go away. Maybe she could start everything all over again. Maybe then, she could do things the right way; the way they should have been.

But that would never happen and Kaoru was forced back to the piercing gaze of Kenshin, who was still waiting for an answer. The guilt grew inside of her as she barely shook her head.

Kenshin sighed inwardly. Obviously, this wasn't going to work. "Maybe I should go with the pacific questions?" Kenshin suggesting to himself. "Well...it's worth a try." He thought and switched tactics. (Smilar to the ones Sanosuke had used on her a while before.)

"You weren't sick...were you...?" Kenshin began. Kaoru blinked...seemingly confused by his sudden change of voice. He seemed less...frustrated.

"...No."

"How long have you had that wound?" Kenshin asked. She licked her lips, nervously.

"...A few weeks." Kaoru whispered. His eyes widened. "A few weeks!? Then this injury was much worse than it is now! My God! What happened to her!? Who did this?!"

"And who was the first to help you?" He interrogated, moving closer to his desired answer. He remained outwardly calm.

"I don't know." Kaoru admitted, starring at the floor.

"I see." Kenshin eyed her carefully as she studied the tatami mats under his feet.

Then, it suddenly struck him, she was still topless. Feeling embarrassed for his ignorance that had caused her to feel so uncomfortable, he bent over and picked up her discarded gi. "Here." Kenshin said as he handed it to her. Kaoru hesitated for a moment, before carefully covering herself with one arm and reaching for it. She slipped the gi on quickly and silently, without letting him get another peek. After a minute, Kenshin continued.

"So you don't know who helped you...because you don't remember?" Kenshin mused. Kaoru nodded. "...and do you know who did this to you?" He came to his point and saw her shudder in the corner of his eye.

"I..." she trailed off. "Oh no...what am I going to do? I can't lie anymore." Her tightly balled fists trembled as her heart pounded vigorously. "He's going to be so mad...I've gone against his beliefs, my beliefs and my father's teachings." Kaoru sighed loudly. "But he'll have to find out sometime...I should be able to tell him...don't we love each other?" She stared into his eyes. Kenshin started looked uneasy as her lips parted. "Yes...I know who did it." Her voice wavered slightly.

"...who?" He asked, feeling apprehension creep up behind him. Kaoru closed her eyes tightly and visibly trembled.

"I did."

Kenshin was shocked. His eyes wide in horror. His body stunned. He couldn't believe his ears.

"What?!" He exclaimed. Kaoru opened her eyes. They were filled with unshed tears.

"Gomen...nasai Kenshin." Kaoru apologized. He took a step forward.

"Kaoru! Why?! What about your family honor?! Isn't the Kamiya Kassen's technique not to kill!? Is it not the style you live by?! Don't you know that if you kill yourself you would be breaking the whole point the technique and its teachings?!" Kenshin exploded, furious at what she had done to herself.

"I wasn't thinking about that at the time!" Kaoru protested. Her tears were about to spill.

"Obviously not, otherwise you wouldn't have done that! In fact, why did you even do it!? Why?!" He yelled.

"Because! Because you left! I didn't want to be alone! Kenshin, I did it because I love you!!" She cried as the tears overflowed down her cheeks.

"How are you supposed to show me that you love me if your dead!?" He shouted.

"How are you supposed to see that I love you if you're gone!!?" Kaoru screamed in back.

A silence fell over the room. Truth of her words rang in Kenshin's ears. Their heavy breathing from the heated argument and the quiet sniffling from Kaoru's tears quietly echoed throughout the room. They both guiltily stared at a random object. Each thinking and regreting.

Kaoru grew sick of the uncomfortable silence. She sighed and glanced back at Kenshin. "Like I said the other night...at first I didn't understand why you had to leave, but now I do." He looked thoughtful.

"I remember...I just can't stand the fact that I almost lost you." Kenshin whispered. He wasn't crying, but his shoulders trembled.

"I'm so sorry Kenshin..." Kaoru said softly as she stepped forward and pulled him into a tight embrace. He clutched her against him tightly. The stress and mental anguish from the past few weeks began to fade from each of them. Still they clung to each other, as if an eternity together wouldn't be long enough.

"Me too." He gave her a gentle squeeze.

"I love you..."

"I love you too."

~x~x~x~x~x~x~X~x~x~x~x~x~x~

Translations:

Gomen Nasai/Gomen: I'm sorry

Gi: think Kenshin's shirt

Tatami- a straw like flooring in traditional Japanese houses. Can I say...straw carpet?

Authores Notes: Waaaaaaiiit!!! This fic is not over yet! One more chapter to go! The epolouge! Sorry that it took so long to get this one up. My school has decided to give me much homework. My vacation was fun too!! Anyway, I hope the end of this chapter wasn't too sappy. Please review and tell me what you think of the fic! I love to hear constructive criticism or if ya just plain like it. :) (Please...no flames...they scare me.) Hey! When I'm finished with this fic, I can get started on the story that has been stuck in my head for 6 months: The Fun House! Oh, it's going to be so fun! Yay! ^-^ (It includes my original character)