Vincent: *pauses as he spots a gold chocobo standing tied by the waterfall* Hmm. I wonder who else is here?
Tifa: *frowns* That's a good question. Couldn't that just be Lucrecis's, though?
Vincent: We are not that lucky.
Tifa: . . . . . . . . . right . . . . . And would you PLEASE stop singing that song, Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: *stops singing and pouts* What's wrong? I thought up more words!
Tifa: . . . . . It's just wrong, okay? Next time summon Meteor or something, okay?
Sephiroth: Okay! *pulls out Black Materia*
Tifa: . . . . . . . Please stop him, Vincent.
Vincent: Sephiroth, if you summon Meteor your I will never take you out for ice cream again.
Sephiroth: *saucer eyes* . . . . No more double chocolate fudge ripple . . . . . . ?
Vincent: *nods gravely*
Sephiroth: *gasps and puts materia away*
Tifa: *smacks her forehead* Oh my god . . . .
Sephiroth: I tried to be a god! *frowns* It didn't work.
Aeris: *steps out of the cave and blinks at them before smiling serenely* Hello! You're just in time to have tea with us!
Tifa: *leaps back and screams* B-b-b-but you're DEAD!!!
Sephiroth: *whips out Masamune and lunges at Aeris, only to have Vincent pull him back by his hair*
Aeris: *frowns at this* So is Sephiroth if you want to go into all the picky details.
Vincent: *pulls him back* Now, now, be good Sephiroth. *eyes narrow* Or no more ice cream!
Tifa: *slaps forehead* Enough with the ice cream!
Aeris: *smiles* Come inside for tea! *goes back in the cave*
Sephiroth: *whimpers* Okay Vincent. *puts sword away and sits down, examining hair* My beautiful hair . . . . . *sniffles* . . . . You pulled my hair!
Tifa: *slaps her forehead again and goes inside after Aeris*
Lucrecia: *sitting on the cave floor at a pink, flowery tea table that looks like it was made by Fisher Price* Oh! More people for the party! How splendid! *pours more tea*
Sephiroth: . . . . . . . Mother?
Aeris: Sit down! Sit down! *sits down, grabbing a cup of tea and a cookie*
Sephiroth: *sits obediently*
Vincent: *does the same*
Tifa: *sniffs 'tea'* . . . . . . Is this Cool Aid?
Sephiroth: *drinks it* Cherry! My favorite!
Lucrecia: *scowls* No, it's tea. *smiles at Sephiroth* Oh, hello sweet heart! How have you been? I assume Hojo has taken very good care of you!
Sephiroth: *shakes head* He's an evil bastard.
Lucrecia: Well, he always has been. Has he kept up with his research these days?
Sephiroth: *shrugs*
Lucrecia: Oh dear. It seems I may have to get him back on track and come back t the company.
Sephiroth: . . . . . . . Aren't you marrying him?
Lucrecia: *blinks* Oh, goodness no! Why would I do a thing like that?
Tifa: *blinks up from her cookie* Aren't you his mother?!
Sephiroth: He said he was marrying my mother.
Lucrecia: *blinks* . . . . . . Oh my goodness. *turns to Vincent* And you told him I was his mother?!
Vincent: It seemed logical to look here first, seeing as you are the only lead we possess, dear sister.
Tifa: *saucer eyes* WaitwaitwaiwaitWAIT JUST A MINUTE!!! Weren't you IN LOVE with Lucrecia?!
Vincent: Of course I loved her. But we were not in love, no were we lovers.
Tifa: And to think I felt SORRY for you!
Aeris: *frowns* But, if Lucy isn't Sephiroth's mother . . . . . who is?
Vincent: I do not know. Dear sister, do you have any ideas?
????: *evils, maniacal cackle echoes through the cave* THAT! You shall NEVER find out!
Sephiroth: *jumps and whirls around, Masamune in hand*
Cloud: *standing on some high ledge in the cave, hand over his mouth, laughing horribly so the walls are shaking* I have rigged the cave with explosives! It will explode in 5 seconds and YOU will be no more!
Aeris: *gapes* Cloud?! What are you doing?!
Tifa: IDIOT!!!!
Sephiroth: . . . . . Most of us are already dead.
Cloud: *laughs manically then stops when he realizes the truth in Sephiroths words* . . . . . Oh.
*Cave explodes from some high point on the ceiling, only for ever boulder to fall on top of Cloud, crushing him into a icky red smudge*
Sephiroth: . . . . Dumbass.
Lucrecia: *screams* I JUST HAD THE WALLS PAINTED!!!
Vincent: I shall help you repaint if you like.
Lucrecia: *sighs* Alright, and while we do that, they can continue to search for clues to his mothers identity.
Vincent: *nods*
Tifa: But where?! We have no CLUE as to who it could be!
Lucrecia: *frowns* . . . . . . . . . . . . I believe he once had an affair with Scarlet on the 60th floor.
Sephiroth: *screams* NOOOOOO!!! No No no no no NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tifa: *grabs Sephiroth and drags him off* Come on! We have to explore ALL possibilities!
Sephiroth: *to Lucrecia* If she's my mother, will you adopt me? PLEEEEEASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jenova: *sobbing endlessly over a photo album of Sephiroth's baby pictures, hitting Hojo over the head* HOW! COULD! YOU!!!!
Hojo: It was for the sake of science!
Jenova: *slaps him with a tentacle* THIS is what I think of your SCIENCE! *starts to wreck the highly expensive laboratory with a frying pan*
Hojo: *screams* NOOOOO! My scrambled eggs!!
Jenova: *knocks him unconscious with the frying pan before dropping it and storming off down the hall* I shall make this up to my son . . . . . I PROMISE!!!
