Chapter 2:

We last left our hero in a dazed stupor from a rather bizarre dream.

He was saddened by the lack of interest from the closest thing he had to family.

Besides his family. They didn't count.

Anyway, how will our hero ever survive?

Aw, hell, he's the Boy Who Lived, he'll think of something.

Breakfast.

Sure, it was his birthday, but he still needed to cook for the Dursleys. He felt a little weary of the eggs as he cracked them because of Ginny's role in his dream- He still had no idea where she got the eggs, but he figured it was the same place Remus had bought his carrot- being a terrorist who got her demands met by threatening to, and occasionally actually doing it, crack eggs on heads and charm the gooey insides to stay mushy in their hair. That poor ferret.

Still, he made the meals and served them. He then went outside and sat in a tree.

He heard a large humming engine, but he ignored it until it stopped, when he sort of missed it. * * * Meanwhile, the doorbell rang. Mrs. Dursley answered it, expecting it to be a package.

Instead she found herself staring at two handsome men, one leaning on the door frame and the other standing erect. The one leaning on the door was taller, darker, with long black hair and blue eyes. He was wearing snug but torn black jeans and a matching undershirt, and his left ear was pierced with a fanged earring. The other was dirty-blonde but graying prematurely, hazel eyed and had his long hair tied back neatly. He was wearing patchy khaki slacks, an oxford shirt, a blazer that matched his pants with both color and wear, and a tie with a white wolf on it.

Poor Mrs. Dursley didn't know which she felt more attracted to, the wild boy or the scholar, but she knew that it was a choice she wasn't being asked to make.

"Hiya. This the Dursleys?" the wild one asked pleasantly.

She nodded, and the shorter one smiled. "Didn't I tell you? It was in his school registry."

"You were right, as always. Why do you always gotta be right?"

"Maybe it's not I'm always right but you're always wrong."

The taller one laughed.

"School?"

"Yeah, I used to teach. I'm going back, actually, this year." The younger one flashed a polite smile, showing small fangs.

Mrs. Dursley made a mental note to join the PTA and become quite active.

"Are you here to tutor Dudley in his subjects over the summer? I requested a tutor."

The smaller one smiled. "Sure, I guess."

"We have a job, Remy."

"Oh yeah. Um, may we come in?"

Mrs. Dursley felt her heart leap. "Of course, would you like tea?"

"Oh, yes, please."

The wild boy grinned, "Any alcohol?"

"Not this early!" the shorter one hissed.

"Why not?"

Mrs. Dursley marveled at how different the two were while she made the tea. She poured it for the smaller man but handed the taller man coffee as a compromise. He took it.

"Perhaps we should explain ourselves," the shorter man said after he took a sip. "My name is Remy Lupin. This is Steven Black."

"Hey." Mrs. Dursley nodded politely.

"We're here to pick up one of my former students- and Steve here's Godson. Do you know where a Mr. Harry Potter would be?"

"That boy?!"

Steve smiled. "Well, damn, Remy, you and your people skills."

"At least I have some." Steve laughed and slung an arm around the younger man's thin shoulders protectively. Remy leaned in.

"So, how long have you two known Harry?"

"We used to babysit for him. Steve is his Godfather, after all."

"Harry said his Godfather was an escaped murderer."

"Well, I didn't really kill the guy, I missed." Steve gave a wild but gorgeous smirk. "I meant to."

"So, you say you're here to pick him up?"

"Yes, ma'am. If we could."

"Are you his kind?"

"Absolutely. Two of the best."

"Steve!"

"Well, it was a valid question."

"You should stop answering those."

Mrs. Dursley's mind raced as she tried to recall the names.

"Oh, no. You're that guy Lily brought home a lot, the one who kept insisting you cook and clean, always sending off letters and blushing. And you're the other guy she brought sometimes, the one who dyed my hair green. Monday and Paddle."

"Moony and Padfoot," Remy growled. Steve just stared.

"Oh my GOD! 'Tunia! How have you been, girl?!" He jumped up and hugged her. "It's been so long! And I used Muggle dyes."

She suddenly felt uneasy. They were just as attractive in their youth, but Lily had invited them and their two friends over a lot. She eventually married the lanky one. The four of them had been such trouble makers it put her completely off magical folk. These two had been horrible. The taller one was creative and impish, and the shorter would follow and bush softly. When they were apart they would owl each other constantly, and once she'd stolen one of the shorter boy's letters while the taller one was asleep. She was surprised- She'd been expecting a vividly detailed sexual offering and rather descriptive pleasures, but instead she found the taller boy's handwriting sent back to him, a devilish plan written on the page and the other having crossed it out in certain places.

"No, that's not physically possible." "You should be worried about the cat." "Even Snape doesn't deserve that, Padfoot." "There's a comma splice." "I believe you mean to spell 'hideous', not 'hypotenuse'. A hypotenuse is not a physical description. Also, it's spelled with only one 'n'." It was the greatest disappointment of her life.

She led them to the backyard. "Harry, you have some guests!"

Harry was so confused he fell from his tree. Aunt Petunia was being kind? Why?

He took a casual glance. Ah, of course. She'd wanted to impress the two attractive young men. He got up, dusting himself off.

"Are you alright, Harry?" a familiar voice asked with concern.

"Sure, just give me a second so I can pop my knee back in place-Ah!" He turned to them. The first guests he'd ever had besides that time Hagrid came to pick him up.

He tried to place the faces, but it was hard when he was seeing triple. Once his eyes focused, he looked at the taller man, who waved.

"Who the hell are you?"

"That's not very polite of you, Harry." This voice was familiar too, and he turned to it. The hair was a little longer, but other wise-

"Professor?! Then he's-"

"Amazing what a month of good grooming and hard exercise can do, isn't it?" Remus walked over to Sirius, running a hand along his arm to show the muscle that had built there. "This is how he used to look. I remember how much we teased him about this." He pulled on the fang.

"Hey! Moony! Ow! Bad Wolfie! Down!"

"Si-Sirius?"

He nodded. Harry squealed and ran up to him, hugging him tightly. Finally, he would have a good holiday. Especially when he saw Sirius had his bike back and even offered to teach Harry to fly it.