The Last Angel.
By Kawaii Kitty
Episode 24 A
Hearts in the Dark
The words echoed in Shinji's mind like a broken record playing the same screeching note over and over. Hearing the words come from the boy who said that he loved him, the boy that he had destroyed.
"Now, please erase me…" he said in his sweet, calm voice. "Otherwise, you will be erased." At the time, Shinji could not comprehend the words, but as he continued, and as time passed, Shinji made sense of them. "The living thing that escape the time of Annihilation and that obtains the future is only one." The smile that was on the albino's voice tore Shinji's soul apart, knowing his wish. "And, you are not the one that must die. You need future." The boy gave another smile. "Thank you… I am glad to have met you…"
Shinji's eyes opened as they gazed at his thin, frail hands. He had willed his right hand to crush the boy's body after he had given him such a sentimental speech. He could not believe that the same boy who had told him that he was born to meet him asked to die just the next day.
There was a gentle knock at the door. Shinji remained silent and in his position as the door slid open, flooding a small portion of the room with light from the hallway. The violet-haired owner of the apartment stood in the doorway, a sympathetic look on her face.
Her slightly raspy voice spoke softly to him. "Shinji… please… come out here… get something to eat." Shinji did not make a move. "Shinji… please! You haven't eaten a thing all day. I'm starting to worry…" The teen still did not move. The Major stared at him for a moment with her warm, chocolate spheres, then sighed and slid the door shut, staring at the small heart-shaped sign on the door that read "Shinji's Lovely Suite".
She shook her head, her feet padding down the carpeted hall back toward the dining room where a redhead sat, slurping up a pair of chopsticks full of noodles.
Her blue eyes looked at the woman who returned. "Sho?" she swallowed a mouthful of ramen noodles and set her brightly colored chopsticks down, turning to a more comfortable position to look at the 26-year-old. "How'd it go, Misato?"
She shook her head and folded her arms, leaning back against the wall and peering back down the hall. "He's still lying there. He hasn't said a word since I took him from the beach… I hope he's gonna be alright."
The haughty German girl laughed a bit. "You know how fickle he is. One minute he's beaming from joy, and the next, he's crying because his daddy never loved him." She shrugged her creamy shoulders. "Go figure. Must be a guy thing…"
Misato nodded and gave a guilty glance to the small black answering machine on the table that the girl was sitting at. At any moment, she could…
"You know, Misato?" she took another slurp of her ramen. "Speaking of guys, I haven't seen Kaji around NERV lately… or anywhere for that matter." Misato gave a culpable look around the room, anything to strike a new conversation. "Do… do you think he's alright, Misato..?"
Misato looked at her, then at the answering machine. She then smiled confidently, fighting back the tears that threatened to come up to her eyes. She nodded. "I know he is, Asuka… He's in a place much better than here now, I'm sure."
The redhead smiled at her. "Thanks… do you think he went to my home? Do you think he's in Germany or America or something?"
Misato laughed emptily and shrugged. "Maybe. There's a lot of places that are better than Tokyo-3."
Asuka grinned proudly and puffed out her chest. "None better than Deutschland. The best place on the entire planet." Misato nodded silently and turned to retire to her bedroom to hide the tears that were now forming in her eyes. Asuka looked after her for a moment, then sighed and went back to eating her soup.
Once in the safety of her sleeping quarters, Misato walked to her bed and practically collapsed onto the futon mattress. She gripped her pillow tightly, burying her fair face into it. Her well-trimmed nails dug into the fabric of the pillowcase as her tears soaked it.
"Kaji… I… I'm so sorry…" she said, her voice breaking on every other syllable. Misato's reddening eyes lifted from the pillow to her vanity where a black and white picture of her, one of her friends and coworkers Ritsuko Akagi, and a man with short green hair and a fine line of facial stubble along his chin. Misato smiled at the picture from college and stared at the boy in the photo. "Kaji…" she whispered softly.
She lifted herself from the futon and walked to her dresser, snatching up the picture and sitting down, leaning against the drawers of the vanity. "If every day could have been like those…" her long fingers reached down and touched the ink vision of the boy, as if remembering by touch every feature of his face and body. How she missed his kind, flirtatious smile and eyes, accentuated by his forest green hair. She longed to feel his broad chest beneath her fingertips and his gentle body against hers. She closed her eyes and held the photograph to her breast, lifting her head as if to search the archive of her mind. She remembered the softness of his lips, and how they were just like filaments of angel's feathers against her skin.
Though she despised admitting to it, she loved him and would gladly give her life for him, instead of taking it as she did. She recalled his final words before she shot him. They were so casual, and full of cause and purpose now that she had thought of it. He had gone there to confess his love to her. Why did she have to be so cold? Why did she have to do it? If she had a choice, she would have left him alone. For once, he was the victim and not she.
She sat staring at the photograph for a long while. She gave out a startled yelp as she heard a gentle rapping at her door. She clutched her chest as she tried to slow her heartbeat. "Wh…Who's there?" she asked as an initial reaction.
Asuka's voice came muffled from the other side of the door. "It's me, Misato." There was a slight pause. "Are you alright in there?"
Misato gave a soft sigh of relief as Asuka's voice came through. "Yeah… I'm alright."
Asuka looked at Misato's door and then folded her arms, leaning against the wall next to her door. "Good…" She sighed for a moment and then made her way back to her room. As she passed Shinji's door, she slid it open, taking a peek in. Seeing Shinji on the bed, she smirked and made the first remark that came to her mind. "What's the matter, Shinji? Too scared to move without your boyfriend?"
At Asuka's words, Shinji tightened his fetal position, clutching the pillow harder. He gave out a pained whimper as more tears squeezed by his eyelids. Asuka grinned and stepped into the room. "Oh, I get it. You're too afraid to look me in the eye now that we know your little secret…" She gave a little laugh and folded her arms across her chest. "All those times I put you in compromising situations with my body, they didn't mean anything to you! Of course! Something as simple as breasts don't mean anything to a boy who doesn't like girls, am I right?"
Shinji whimpered and opened his mouth, his upset voice breaking frequently as he spoke. "Why…why can't you leave me alone…? What did I do to you?"
"Nothing! That's the problem!" She spat at him, leaning over him. "Any normal boy would have done me forwards, backwards, and sideways by now! But not you, you can't handle something like that." She scoffed and looked aside. "Not from a girl, anyhow."
Shinji sniffled and turned his head to look up at her. "You talk like that's something you want… like something you wanted me to do…"
Asuka stiffened and stood up straight. "Humph. What do you know, Third Child? You think you know me, or something?"
Shinji nodded. "Apparently more than you know yourself…" He gave a sigh and turned his head back to its original position, staring at the blank bit of wall beneath his window and above his bed.
Asuka took immediate offense. "Just what the hell is THAT supposed to mean?!" Shinji remained silent. Asuka growled and balled her hands into fists. "Tell me! Scheissekopf! Tell me!!" When Shinji still didn't respond, she reached down and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him up as far as her arm muscles would allow. Soon becoming frustrated with supporting his dead weight on one arm, she yelled out and dropped him onto the floor. Shinji gave out a mild yelp and made a dull thump as he hit the floor, remaining motionless.
"Why can't I figure you out, Shinji?!" Asuka moaned as she glared down at him. "Why won't you let me figure you OUT?!" At the last word, she craned her foot back and kicked him in the side.
Shinji gave a noise of pain and rolled awkwardly to his uninjured side, clutching the side Asuka had just kicked. He groaned and looked up at the fiery German. "It's…not my fault… Asuka." He groaned and pulled his feet down from the bed, sitting up and looking up at Asuka. "You won't take… the time to…ask."
Asuka snarled at him and brought her outstretched palm hard across Shinji's left cheek, hitting him so hard that his head turned. "Don't you DARE act as if you're so familiar with how I do things! You don't know the First THING about me!"
Shinji held his cheek and glanced up at Asuka. "I know that you wear a mask… you don't want anyone to know who you are, so you hide your true self behind a mask of anger…" he dropped his hand and stared at his security pillow. "Just like me… You want your mother…"
At the mentioning of her mother, Asuka growled, reaching out and grabbing a fistful of his short brown hair. "WHO SAID YOU COULD TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER?!" she yelled at him. "I didn't say you could! So why did you do it?!"
Shinji groaned at the pain from the roots of his hair and from the loud noises in his ear. He turned his head the best he could, his cold blue eyes set in a spiteful glare. "Because that's what sets you off, Asuka! You miss your mother and so do I!" He lowered his gaze to the ground. "You're not the only one who's lost a mother, you know…" He gave a soft sob. "And at least they found YOUR mother's body…"
Asuka listened to his words, feeling a bit sympathetic towards him. She considered saying something, but reconsidered, rolling her eyes and tossing him back to the ground. "You're pathetic." She hissed before storming out of the room. On the way to her room, she nearly plowed into Misato, not letting her speak to her about what had just happened.
Misato shook her head as the slam from Asuka's door echoed through the apartment. She then walked to Shinji's room once more, peeking her head inside. Shinji had not moved from the spot that Asuka had tossed him to. Misato stepped into the room and knelt next to Shinji, shaking him softly.
"Hey… Hey, are you alright…?" she asked him. Shinji didn't respond with words, but rather with a series of quiet sobs. Misato didn't need an explanation right away. She gave a soft smile and lifted Shinji's upper body, resting it against her own as if he were a baby. "It's okay, Shinji…" she said as she rubbed his back. "It's okay, I won't let anyone else hurt you…"
Shinji sniffled and wrapped his arms around Misato tightly. "Do… Do you promise…?"
She nodded and kissed his smooth forehead gently, wiping some tears away from his eyes. "I promise, Shinji. Cross my heart and hope to die."
This childish saying brought a small smile to the teen's face as he gave a soft chuckle of amusement.
