part two
Back in the thicket Aragorn was staring accusingly at Boromir.
"What, may I ask, is so funny?" he demanded.
Boromir struggled unsuccessfully to control his laughter. He waved his hand in the general direction of Aragorn's cock, in a gesture that could possibly have been a point if he hadn't been shaking so much with laughter.
"By the Tower of Ecthelion", he managed to gasp out finally,"...it's so small!"
Aragorn glared at him ferociously and went to draw his sword. Remembering too late that his sword was still attached to his pants, which were at this moment half way down his legs, he merely succeeded in gracefully collapsing on his arse on the ground. Unfortunately this did nothing to stem Boromir's amusement.
"I fear you have fallen,my King,' he stated.
Aragorn glowered at Boromir as the memory of his fall earlier that day came back to him. Now that he thought about it, maybe this wasn't such a great idea. This man was obviously just a prat. A prat with a great arse but a prat just the same. Yet if he went now, he would have lost, and that was not going to happen. Kings- did not lose- to Stewards- ever.
Boromir smirked at Aragorn lying on the ground. "Do you need assistance, my Liege?" he asked him.
"No, I do not." Aragorn struggled up. His pants appeared to be quite firmly tangled and he was less successful in his endeavors than he had hoped to be. However, this was no time to get angry, getting angry just confused things. It was time to utilise all the temper control that Arwen had been teaching him. Oh shit, he suddenly thought, Arwen...oh well, he dismissed the worry. What she didn't know, wouldn't hurt her. Plus, this was about a man's honour, this was.
He looked at Boromir expectantly. "Well then.."
Boromir was startled. Why wasn't Aragorn mad? From the earlier look Aragorn had given him, he thought he'd really struck a nerve. But now the man before him was calm, and appeared to be waiting for something. Then he realised. Aragorn doesn't believe me, he though incredulously, he doesn't believe what I said about his dick.
"Well then indeed..."
He grabbed Aragorn's hand and guided it down to his own bulge of manhood, which he noticed was beginning to rise to the occasion. Boromir grinned. Now they would see who was King. He pushed Aragorn's fingers hard up against the fabric of his tunic.
"Do you feel it my Liege?" he asked
Aragorn recoiled as though he'd just stepped on a hobbit. He had a sudden feeling of insecurity, that bulge- it had felt huge. But then the moment of panic passed. No, it couldn't be, this had to be some trick. Appraising the man before him in the gloom, he stopped to consider, extra socks perhaps. No, socks were too soft. Had Boromir pulled some trick with the Horn of Gondor?
Aragorn narrowed his eyes, if it was, that was a dirty, cheap thing to do. But there was the Horn lying on the ground near Boromir's foot. So it couldn't have been the Horn. Had Boromir stolen some of Sam's cooking utensils to stick down his pants? That was probably unlikely, Sam wouldn't let his cooking utensils out of his sight.
Maybe...he noted the chain mail sleeves, showing from under Boromir's tunic- chain mail under wear perhaps? Was that what had made it feel so big? Damn, what was it? He had to see.
Aragorn reached a tentative hand out to Boromir's belt buckle.
"Yes?" said Boromir questioningly, "would you perhaps, like to see it a little closer?"
Aragorn shut his eyes in frustration. Boromir was so...just...bloody...damn annoying and sarcastic and confident and sardonic and...hot and sexy and desirable and...bah! He and grabbed Boromir's tunic in both hands. Frantically he began tearing at the fastenings, he had to get it off, he had to know just what had made that bulge.
Merry and Pippin reached the edge of the thicket and peered through the trees, "they're in there" Merry hissed. Pippin nodded, "I know," he mouthed back, then few moments later, "wow, look at Aragorn go."
"He has done this before" observed Merry, sounding surprised.
"Mmhm," Pippin turned to look at his cousin, "didn't Legolas tell you?"
"Tell me what? I mean I heard Gandalf-," Merry gave in involuntary shudder,"but I didn't hear Legolas say anything."
"Oh...well, you know," Pippin trailed off vaguely. But before Merry could question him further, they heard a groan from inside the thicket.
It seemed that Aragorn had finally succeeded in removing enough of Boromir's clothing to look upon the desired object. He sat, cross legged between Boromir's knees, staring in disbelief, as if he'd just seen Gollum present Elrond with a bouquet of pink flowers. "In the name of Elbereth," they heard him murmur, "that's bigger than..."
Aragorn couldn't tear his eyes away, he couldn't believe it. Desire hit him like a group of Orcs running across his chest. He couldn't breathe. He needed to take it, and he needed to take it now. Not even jealousy could overthrow his insatiable desire, although jealous he was, for it was bigger than his, oh so much so, and so much grander and straighter and firmer and ... but there was time to be jealous later.
For now...
Boromir looked down at the Ranger kneeling between his legs. Now this was a compromising position, he thought. It wasn't exactly what he had planned when he had initially left the camp to sit in the thicket on his own, however, after a brief thought he decided it certainly wasn't bad. Plus for someone who claimed they'd never been there before, Aragorn seemed to have things fairly well worked out.
Aragorn's tongue running down the length of his member broke his thoughts and he moaned in pleasure. The sound made Aragorn redouble his efforts. Up and down he went, and then up and down again, as Boromir became harder and harder. Slowly he brought his tongue back down again, and took the top of Boromir's shaft in his mouth, sucking at it flirtatiously. Boromir bit back a gasp of pleasure. Clearly this Ranger had learnt a lot on his travels. But not enough to rival the talents of a Gondorian Steward.
Hmm, he mused, what we need here is a bit more excitement. In one sudden movement, he brought his legs around behind Aragorn and caught him between his thighs, squeezing him hard. It's amazing what you can learn from evil James Bond chicks, he thought to himself.
Aragorn looked up in surprise, but before he could say a word Boromir had his tongue inside his mouth again, controlling and dark, and then Boromir's fingers were tracing their way down his chest, tweaking and fondling at his nipples, reaching up inside his shirt and marking tattoos of ownership all the way down his back, until they encircled his buttocks and came up against his cock, where they stopped. Aragorn groaned in frustration, and gripped Boromir's upper arms with his hands.
"Don't stop!" He looked despairingly into Boromir's eyes, those deep, grey eyes. Eyes that could drown you in their stormy depths and smother you with an avalanche of emotion so that you were never seen again, or like now, eyes that could be dark and challenging, daring you to refuse their will.
"Would you try to to order me, Lord Aragorn?"
Aragorn said nothing but gripped Boromir's shoulders harder, pleading silently for Boromir to continue his attentions. Boromir waited for a few more long seconds, testing Aragorn's will. Suddenly he grabbed on to Aragorn's member with his hand and gave a short tug. Aragorn gave a gasp, and then cried out in pleasure as the tugs became firmer and more rhythmic. He cried out again, and then suddenly, the tugging stopped and the hands were back on his chest, stroking and kneading at his muscles, and his cock was enveloped in warm wetness, as Boromir took it into his mouth nibbling it softly with his teeth, and then sucking as though he were trying to swallow it whole.
"Boromir is pretty good too" Merry observed suddenly, " but I guess I kind of expected that. I always figured he was much too sulky to be straight."
"It's all that manly warrior comrade-ing type stuff," stated Pippin," that's why he's so good. He's been doing it for years."
"How do you know?" Merry asked.
"Legolas told me."
Merry looked at Pippin curiously, "how does Legolas know all this?"
"We Elves are in tune with these things y'know" The hobbits spun round to find Legolas, Gimli and Gandalf, arranged in the darkness behind them.
"Why are you here?" asked Pippin.
Legolas grinned at them, "Sam decided that he didn't trust you two either, and so he sent us to check on you."
"And you left Sam in the camp alone?" Merry queried.
"Nah- Frodo is with him" Legolas answered.
"You left Frodo and Sam in the camp alone?" Merry queried again.
"Yeah" said Legolas.
Frodo and Sam"
"Yeah"
"Alone"
"Yeah"
"Ah" Merry looked at Legolas.
"Oh" said Legolas, "whoops."
"Someone go and stop them before they use up all the carrots again." Gandalf sighed.
A loud gasp was suddenly heard from inside the thicket and suddenly all worries about the Fellowship's stock of carrots was forgotten as Gandalf, Gimli and Legolas shoved in beside the two hobbits to get a better look at the activities of the two men.
"Oh my," Gandalf said wonderingly," Boromir is really quite prominent, isn't he."
"I don't know," said Pippin grumpily, "I can't see now, I've got your hat in my face."
Gandalf dismissed Pippin's comment, and peered closer, "what's he doing now?"
"Oh that's good y'know," said Legolas, watching in awe. The watchers could quite clearly hear Aragorn's gasps of pleasure.
" I can't see!" Pippin gave Legolas a shove and nearly sent the Elf flying in to join the two men.
"Fool of a Took!" hissed Gandalf at him, "are you trying to ruin the entertainment for everyone?" Pippin merely pouted at him, and settled himself comfortably in the spot that Legolas had recently vacated.
"Wow, look at that!" Now that Pippin could see again, he was riveted to the scene playing out before him. His eyes grew bigger and bigger,"I didn't know you could that!"
"Do what? Do what?" whispered Legolas, frantically trying to catch a glimpse of the activities in the thicket.
"Well..." said Pippin, "Aragorn was sitting down, and then Boromir pushed him over like that..." He demonstrated a complicated gesture with his hands, "and then Boromir did this thing with his mouth and Aragorn's cock like this..." He again he attempted to demonstrate another complicated procedure. Legolas looked at the hobbit, as far as he could work out from Pippin's hand signals, Aragorn had just shown Boromir how to catch a fish and then they'd both sat down and eaten it with chopsticks. Or perhaps they'd decided to knit it. It definitely seemed to have involved elbows anyway.
Another moan came from the thicket. "Why haven't you ever shown me anything like that Merry?" Pippin asked his cousin accusingly.
Legolas decided that he was not impressed with his current view, which consisted of a lot of Dwarf beard and half a hobbit foot, so he gained a new spot in the trees by pushing Gimli under a bush. This caused a brief scuffle as Gimli, who couldn't see anything under from the bush attempted to forcibly remove Merry from his position.
"You should all go back," Pippin pouted, "there's not enough room for every one, and Merry and me were here first."
"That's true," agreed Merry, emerging victorious over Gimli in the seating battle, "and don't forget that someone needs to save the carrots, 'cos we don't have many left and Sam's really experimental when it comes to Frodo and vegetables."
"We taught him though" broke in Pippin proudly,"didn't we Merry?"
"Pippin!"
"But Merry, he didn't know anything, and so we took him down to farmer Maggots fields that time, him and Frodo remember, and we showed him that trick you can do with cucumbers, and he was so excited that he wanted to try it out with Frodo right away, but then farmer Maggot's dogs heard us an' we all had to sprint for it."
"Pippin!"
"And he didn't even know about corn cobs, or zucchini either. I mean you and me had been using them for years."
"Hobbits really are amazing creatures." observed Gimli, " you an learn all there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you at a pinch."
"Hey," protested Gandalf,"that's my line!"
"But you already know what you can do with a couple of hobbits and some vegetables, Gandalf. It's hardly a surprise to you." stated Legolas.
"Legolas Greenleaf! What are you suggesting!" exclaimed Gandalf poking the Elf with his staff.
"Ow!" complained Legolas loudly."You know exactly what I mean!, you and the Ringbe- "
But before he could finish the sentence Gimli roughly shoved a hand over his mouth. "Shut up!" he hissed frantically in the Elf's ear. But it was too late. The men had heard the arguments and stopped their activities, listening warily.
"Go...go!" Merry mouthed silently at Gandalf and flapped a hand in the direction of the campsite. Gandalf shot him a death glare, but reluctantly he, Gimli and Legolas left to save the Fellowship's supply of carrots from Sam and Frodo.
"Remember this," Gimli whispered back over his shoulder grumpily," when next time Sam decides to makes his famous carrot cake, you'll be thanking us."
The leaves rustled overhead as the men lay together in the thicket. Both were quiet now, listening tensely. Silence descended over the wood. The exertions were at a momentary halt.
Merry and Pippin held their breath, watching intently. It was very quiet.
Slowly the men relaxed and, deciding that they were still safe, picked up where they had left off.
Boromir lay crosswise, over Aragorn's chest, idly stroking Aragorn's erect member, running his finger up it's length, massaging the top in slow circles and then running his finger back down again. Suddenly he broke the silence.
"Do you have any lube?"
Aragorn looked at him warily, "ahh, no. Why would I?"
Dammit, why was Aragorn still playing innocent. Boromir took his hand away from Aragorn's cock and propped himself on his chin sulking. If Aragorn was having issues then that was that, he thought, looking off through the trees. He wasn't going to play any more.
After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Aragorn spoke again.
"Legolas has some."
Boromir turned back to Aragorn with an amused look on his face.
"And how do you know that, pray?"
"I saw it fall out of his pack...one time." Aragorn answered. A flicker of guilt flew cross his face."When we were walking...one time"
"Oh"
Eager to get away from Boromir's accusing stare Aragorn leapt up hurriedly.
"I'll go borrow it."
Boromir watched him reach the edge of the thicket before calling out to the Ranger, "My Lord?"
Aragorn stopped and turned around. Boromir pointed a finger at a dark heap lying on the ground.
"I believe that your pants may be of assistance."
He rolled over on his back and stared up at the sky through the branches of the trees, while the Ranger attempted to hastily pull his pants up over his swollen cock, and stumbled off into the trees.
"Quick" Merry hissed at Pippin, " we've got to warn the others!"
"But he'll beat us there!" Pippin exclaimed.
Merry dismissed him, "No he won't, he still has to pull his pants up properly, come on" They both scrambled back through the bushes in the direction of the main camp.
Approaching it, they heard the tail end of a Gandalf lecture.
" -carrots are provided for the health and well-being of all the members of the Fellowship and are not for your private use alone Samwise Gamgee, nor yours Frodo Baggins. I want you both to understand this."
"I was making vegetable soup!" exclaimed Sam hotly.
"Under your blankets?" Gandalf raised his hairy eyebrows in his best Elrond impression. Sam was silent.
Suddenly Frodo jumped to the defence, " it was the Eye!"
"The eye?" repeated Gandalf.
"Yes" answered Frodo, "Boromir said, that there was a great Eye, that watched you and was all-seeing so.."
"Yes Sir, he did Sir," broke in Sam, who had rediscovered his voice all of a sudden, "at the council meeting, and I thought then I did, that if ever I was to make vegetable soup, I'd best not let the eye see me, for like as not, it would want some."
"Sam makes very good vegetable soup." asserted Frodo.
"Like the old Gaffer used to say, 'twas the best vegetable soup in the Shire. And I thought it best that I hide it under the blankets, as I'm sure that those black riders would be right glad to have a taste of vegetable soup inside them, they don't look as though have had aught to eat for many a while."
But before Gandalf could pursue this line of enquiry, Merry and Pippin arrived in the clearing.
"Quick, hide the money! Aragorn's coming back!" Pippin gestured wildly in the direction of the thicket.
"What?" asked Gimli confused, "already?'
"You mean I won?" asked Sam in disbelief, completely forgetting about the carrot incident.
"You mean I lost?" asked Legolas in disbelief, completely forgetting about the french-braid he had been putting in Gimli's beard.
"No, no" Merry shook his head emphatically. "The bet's still on, he's just coming back because..." he looked at Legolas,"he appears to think that you might have some lube that he can borrow, Legolas."
"...err...right" he mumbled.
The camp turned to stare at Legolas accusingly.
He looked around and then smiled at them brightly. "I'll just pretend to be asleep than shall I?", and within seconds he had transformed himself into a curled up ball of long blonde hair and pastel green elven miniskirt which emitted false snores at regular intervals.
The company stared at him silently, until suddenly the sound of the Ranger approaching through the bushes on his way back to camp galvanized them into action, and dismissing Legolas from their thoughts for the moment, they dived for their own bedrolls.
Aragorn stood at the edge of the clearing quietly. Good, they all appeared to be asleep, and Legolas, well the strange lumpy shaped ball that he assumed was Legolas, was sleeping right on the outskirts of the group. He crept silently over to the misshaped hump and poked it with a finger. The ball uncurled, and lo and behold, it was Legolas. Aragorn breathed a sigh of relief.
"Aragorn?" asked the Elf quietly, "what's going on?"
Aragorn put his finger to his lips and beckoned for the Elf to move away from the other members of the company.
Peeking out from underneath his blanket Pippin saw them leave. He strained desperately to hear the rest of the conversation but it was no use, they were speaking much to softly, although Aragorn did seem to be acting very embarrassed about something. There was a lot of violent head shaking going on. Soon though, the Elf came back and started to rummage in his pack, before bringing out a small tub and handing it out to Aragorn. "You're sure you don't want to tell me what this is for, Aragorn?" he asked him curiously.
Pippin could hear the conversation now.
Aragorn grabbed the tub, "I already said- I need it to oil my sword."
Legolas nodded at him, and watched the Ranger sprint out of the campsite. Within seconds the 'sleeping' Fellowship members were scrambling out of their blankets, ready to continue the night's betting.
Aragorn crashed back to the thicket grumbling. " Bloody nosy Elf" he muttered, "has to know everything, just 'cos he's an ex-lov..." He shut-up suddenly as he realised that he'd reached the edge of the thicket. He pushed through the trees and proudly presented the tub to Boromir.
"It seems that our fair Elf is nicer than I had deemed" he said thoughtfully, "unless he only gives such generous favors to dirty Rangers?"
Aragorn blushed in the darkness. Damn, the man was bloody ungrateful.
"Do you want it or not?" he said angrily.
He made as if to turn around and take the tub back in the direction of the campsite, but Boromir grabbed him by the ankles and pulled him down. For the second time that night, and the third time that day, Aragorn found himself suddenly, and unexpectedly, on the ground. Crawling across Aragorn's chest Boromir reached out and pinned down his arms. Leaning his mouth close to Aragorn's ear he whispered huskily, "but then again, maybe I'm just not as our pretty elven prince."
part three
