Disclaimer: Since I forgot it in the other chapter, but it's still very
obvious, I do not own any of these characters. Hell, I don't even own the
Hokey Pokey!
'Hmmm... you smell sooo pretty!' Harry commented, sniffing on Draco's hair.
Draco blushed. 'Really? What does it smell like?'
'Kind of like a mixture between dog shit and lawngnome piss...' Harry replied.
'BLUSHY BLUSHY!!' Ron suddenly yelled.
'Who's the red haired kid?' Lockhart asked himself.
'Ewwwwwwww!! You've got a huge friggin' zit on your nose!!' Hermoine said, pointing at Lockhart, who started sobbing and ran away.
'Awww that isn't very nice of you!' A voice said behind them.
They all turned around and faced... Oliver Wood!! Wearing a skirt!
'What the Hell are you doing in a skirt, you pansy?!' Draco said, being all badass.
'KILT! KILT! KILT!' Oliver said, dancing the Hokey pokey around in his ski- ... KILT!
Suddenly, a loud crash is heard!!!
'Oh my, I hear a loud crash!' Hermoine commented, being the know-it-all Gryffindor bitch she is.
'Stating the obvious...' Harry said, rolling his eyes.
'Whoa whoa... Didn't you miss me!!?' Snape asked, a bit pissed off and wiping the glass off his robes.
'I DID!! I DID!!' Draco yelled, waving his hands trough the air, to get some attention.
'Hey... why didn't you get cut by the glass when you wiped it off?' Lucius suddenly commented.
'Daddy!' Draco jumped back in surprise, falling right on top of Harry!!! Such coincidence!
'Why hello there, sir!' Harry said to the blonde Slytherin boy.
'Potter?'
'Yes?'
'Is that a wand in your trousers or are you just happy to see me?'
Harry putted his hand in his trousers and whipped out his wand. 'It's just my wand. Sorry, mate...'
Draco looked disappointed. 'Damn... Looks like this ain't gonna be a slash story, then...'
'You're MY bitch!' Snape yelled, putting a spiky dog-collar around Lucius' neck. 'Now say "woof"!!'
'WAIT WAIT!! WE'RE HERE TO YOU KNOW!!' Ron and Hermoine yelled.
'How 'bout HIM!?!' Draco said, pointing at Oliver, who was still doing the Hokey Pokey.
'Who?' Everyone asked, looking right past him.
'... What?' Draco looked puzzled. 'There!' he pointed at Oliver.
'I do not know what you're talking about, mister Malfoy.' Snape said, shrugging.
'But... that Wood guy... he... right there!!! He's wearing a skirt!!' Draco yelled, starting to freak out.
'IT'S A KILT, YOU FAT KID!!!' Oliver screamed.
'Where's that voice coming from?!!!' Hermoine said, looking around, paranoid.
'He's from Amsterdam...' Harry said, knowing it even better than the Gryffindor Know It All bitch.
'Amsterdamn?' Lucius sat on the ground, reading a gardening magazine upside down.
'Okay I'm back!' Lockhart suddenly crashed trough the ceiling, looking very proud.
'Why is the big lump on your nose green?' Ron asked, trying to sound intelligent.
'Why is the pope catholic?' Snape asked, trying to sound witty.
'Because he isn't Jewish?' Sirius Black walked out the dark corner of the fully lighted room.
'Good point there...' Snape admitted, licking Lucius'-
!!!!!!!WE INTERRUPT THIS INSANE STORY AGAIN FOR COMMERCIALS!!!!!!!
'Winky phone home...' The female house-elf raised a finger in the air.
Suddenly, Winky got smashed by a huge flying angry potato.
'TAKE THAT, YOU LITTLE... SMASHED, CROSSDRESSING, E.T. WANNABE!!' Some angry E.T. fans yelled.
Voldemort's voice came out of nowhere. 'You've had enough of those annoying little brats who like to dress up as their favourite movie-characters? Well, we can show you how much fun it is to kill those little bastards! Buy the "Star bitches and many more" movie NOW!'
!!!!!!!!!!AND WE CONTINUE THIS INSANE STORY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
-sugarquill. What did you think?!!!
'I AM THE LORD OF THE RIVERDANCE!!' Oliver yelled, starting to do the Macarena now.
'Shut up, you twit!!! Or I'm gonna cut your heart out with a SPOON!!' Snape screamed back.
'Why a spoon, Severus? Why not an axe or...' Lucius started suggesting.
'BECAUSE IT'S DULL YOU TW-... oh wait, wrong movie...' Snape shook his head, and read Lucius' gardening magazine.
'Are you just as anatomically impaired as a Ken Doll, too?' Harry whispered in his ear.
'Are you hitting on me, sir?' Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.
'Cut that out, Sevvie, it's making me all warm and fluffy on the inside.' Lucius shuddered.
'Moose, moose, buy your moose right here!!' Ron walked around, like a hotdog seller.
'I'd like two please!' Draco said.
'Two what?' Ron asked.
'Two moose's!' Draco replied.
'Moose?' Ron asked, grinning.
'Well... yeah, you're selling moose's, right??' Draco replied, frowning.
'No, you silly boy... I'm selling I'll-Slap-Your-Ass-For-A-Dollar!' Ron said, with an evil look on his face.
Draco scratched his head. 'That's not what I heard... What about you, guys?'
Everyone was busy with other stuff, so they didn't notice Draco's question.
'Well...? Wanna buy one?' Ron asked.
'Yea-... wait... is that a wand in your trousers or are you just happy to see me, too?' Draco said, pointing at Ron's crotch.
Ron looked down, unzipped his trousers and whipped out his wand. 'I already wondered where I let this thing...'
'Okaaaaay... I'm going now, bye!!!' Draco ran away, hiding behind Hermoine.
Harry suddenly gasped. 'YOU STOLE MY FAVOURITE BLUE CRAYON!!' He yelled at Snape, who also gasped.
'DID NOT!!'
'DID TOO!'
'DID NOT!!'
'DID TOO!!'
'DID TOO!!' Snape said, grinning.
'DID NOT!!!' Harry replied.
'HAHAHA! I DID NOT!! YOU JUST SAID I DID NOT!!!' Snape laughed.
'Damn...' Harry got sad.
'I'm still wondering...' Lucius started to speak, slowly and thought-full.
'What?' Everyone asked.
'I'm *wondering*... I'm... *wondering* ... DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN, MUFFIN MAN?!! WELL, DO YA?!!! DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN?!!! TELL ME!! DO YOU?!!! DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN, MUFFIN MAN!?!!! WELL!!!! TELL ME YOU LITTLE STINKY COW-SHOE, DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN?!!!!!!' He screamed, eyes bulging.
Everyone ran to the other side of the room.
'Er... no...?' Ron said, carefully.
'Oh... OK.' Lucius continued reading a por-... GARDENING magazine upside down...
'Why are you here again?!!! Didn't I tell you not to hide in glue-closets the last time I caught you here?!!!!' McGonagall suddenly slammed the door open.
'No...' Snape shook his head.
'Well... I'll just do it now, then!!! GET OUT OF THIS GLUE-CLOSET AND NEVER COME BACK, SIMBA!!!!' McGonagall screeched.
Everyone quickly ran away.
'Uhm... Professor?' A voice came from the ceiling.
McGonagall looked up and saw Sirius Black, glued against the ceiling. She sighed. 'That's what you get, you little marauding bitch!' She walked towards the door, switched off the light and left the glue-closet.
Sirius tried to look around the dark room/closet, but couldn't because his hair was glued to the ceiling, too. 'Err... Anyone here? ... Hello?? *Anyone*?!! ...Help...'
THE END!
~~~ I know this chapter wasn't as funny or as insane as the other, but I wanted to do another random story... Oh well, review anyway, please!~~~
'Hmmm... you smell sooo pretty!' Harry commented, sniffing on Draco's hair.
Draco blushed. 'Really? What does it smell like?'
'Kind of like a mixture between dog shit and lawngnome piss...' Harry replied.
'BLUSHY BLUSHY!!' Ron suddenly yelled.
'Who's the red haired kid?' Lockhart asked himself.
'Ewwwwwwww!! You've got a huge friggin' zit on your nose!!' Hermoine said, pointing at Lockhart, who started sobbing and ran away.
'Awww that isn't very nice of you!' A voice said behind them.
They all turned around and faced... Oliver Wood!! Wearing a skirt!
'What the Hell are you doing in a skirt, you pansy?!' Draco said, being all badass.
'KILT! KILT! KILT!' Oliver said, dancing the Hokey pokey around in his ski- ... KILT!
Suddenly, a loud crash is heard!!!
'Oh my, I hear a loud crash!' Hermoine commented, being the know-it-all Gryffindor bitch she is.
'Stating the obvious...' Harry said, rolling his eyes.
'Whoa whoa... Didn't you miss me!!?' Snape asked, a bit pissed off and wiping the glass off his robes.
'I DID!! I DID!!' Draco yelled, waving his hands trough the air, to get some attention.
'Hey... why didn't you get cut by the glass when you wiped it off?' Lucius suddenly commented.
'Daddy!' Draco jumped back in surprise, falling right on top of Harry!!! Such coincidence!
'Why hello there, sir!' Harry said to the blonde Slytherin boy.
'Potter?'
'Yes?'
'Is that a wand in your trousers or are you just happy to see me?'
Harry putted his hand in his trousers and whipped out his wand. 'It's just my wand. Sorry, mate...'
Draco looked disappointed. 'Damn... Looks like this ain't gonna be a slash story, then...'
'You're MY bitch!' Snape yelled, putting a spiky dog-collar around Lucius' neck. 'Now say "woof"!!'
'WAIT WAIT!! WE'RE HERE TO YOU KNOW!!' Ron and Hermoine yelled.
'How 'bout HIM!?!' Draco said, pointing at Oliver, who was still doing the Hokey Pokey.
'Who?' Everyone asked, looking right past him.
'... What?' Draco looked puzzled. 'There!' he pointed at Oliver.
'I do not know what you're talking about, mister Malfoy.' Snape said, shrugging.
'But... that Wood guy... he... right there!!! He's wearing a skirt!!' Draco yelled, starting to freak out.
'IT'S A KILT, YOU FAT KID!!!' Oliver screamed.
'Where's that voice coming from?!!!' Hermoine said, looking around, paranoid.
'He's from Amsterdam...' Harry said, knowing it even better than the Gryffindor Know It All bitch.
'Amsterdamn?' Lucius sat on the ground, reading a gardening magazine upside down.
'Okay I'm back!' Lockhart suddenly crashed trough the ceiling, looking very proud.
'Why is the big lump on your nose green?' Ron asked, trying to sound intelligent.
'Why is the pope catholic?' Snape asked, trying to sound witty.
'Because he isn't Jewish?' Sirius Black walked out the dark corner of the fully lighted room.
'Good point there...' Snape admitted, licking Lucius'-
!!!!!!!WE INTERRUPT THIS INSANE STORY AGAIN FOR COMMERCIALS!!!!!!!
'Winky phone home...' The female house-elf raised a finger in the air.
Suddenly, Winky got smashed by a huge flying angry potato.
'TAKE THAT, YOU LITTLE... SMASHED, CROSSDRESSING, E.T. WANNABE!!' Some angry E.T. fans yelled.
Voldemort's voice came out of nowhere. 'You've had enough of those annoying little brats who like to dress up as their favourite movie-characters? Well, we can show you how much fun it is to kill those little bastards! Buy the "Star bitches and many more" movie NOW!'
!!!!!!!!!!AND WE CONTINUE THIS INSANE STORY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
-sugarquill. What did you think?!!!
'I AM THE LORD OF THE RIVERDANCE!!' Oliver yelled, starting to do the Macarena now.
'Shut up, you twit!!! Or I'm gonna cut your heart out with a SPOON!!' Snape screamed back.
'Why a spoon, Severus? Why not an axe or...' Lucius started suggesting.
'BECAUSE IT'S DULL YOU TW-... oh wait, wrong movie...' Snape shook his head, and read Lucius' gardening magazine.
'Are you just as anatomically impaired as a Ken Doll, too?' Harry whispered in his ear.
'Are you hitting on me, sir?' Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.
'Cut that out, Sevvie, it's making me all warm and fluffy on the inside.' Lucius shuddered.
'Moose, moose, buy your moose right here!!' Ron walked around, like a hotdog seller.
'I'd like two please!' Draco said.
'Two what?' Ron asked.
'Two moose's!' Draco replied.
'Moose?' Ron asked, grinning.
'Well... yeah, you're selling moose's, right??' Draco replied, frowning.
'No, you silly boy... I'm selling I'll-Slap-Your-Ass-For-A-Dollar!' Ron said, with an evil look on his face.
Draco scratched his head. 'That's not what I heard... What about you, guys?'
Everyone was busy with other stuff, so they didn't notice Draco's question.
'Well...? Wanna buy one?' Ron asked.
'Yea-... wait... is that a wand in your trousers or are you just happy to see me, too?' Draco said, pointing at Ron's crotch.
Ron looked down, unzipped his trousers and whipped out his wand. 'I already wondered where I let this thing...'
'Okaaaaay... I'm going now, bye!!!' Draco ran away, hiding behind Hermoine.
Harry suddenly gasped. 'YOU STOLE MY FAVOURITE BLUE CRAYON!!' He yelled at Snape, who also gasped.
'DID NOT!!'
'DID TOO!'
'DID NOT!!'
'DID TOO!!'
'DID TOO!!' Snape said, grinning.
'DID NOT!!!' Harry replied.
'HAHAHA! I DID NOT!! YOU JUST SAID I DID NOT!!!' Snape laughed.
'Damn...' Harry got sad.
'I'm still wondering...' Lucius started to speak, slowly and thought-full.
'What?' Everyone asked.
'I'm *wondering*... I'm... *wondering* ... DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN, MUFFIN MAN?!! WELL, DO YA?!!! DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN?!!! TELL ME!! DO YOU?!!! DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN, MUFFIN MAN!?!!! WELL!!!! TELL ME YOU LITTLE STINKY COW-SHOE, DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN?!!!!!!' He screamed, eyes bulging.
Everyone ran to the other side of the room.
'Er... no...?' Ron said, carefully.
'Oh... OK.' Lucius continued reading a por-... GARDENING magazine upside down...
'Why are you here again?!!! Didn't I tell you not to hide in glue-closets the last time I caught you here?!!!!' McGonagall suddenly slammed the door open.
'No...' Snape shook his head.
'Well... I'll just do it now, then!!! GET OUT OF THIS GLUE-CLOSET AND NEVER COME BACK, SIMBA!!!!' McGonagall screeched.
Everyone quickly ran away.
'Uhm... Professor?' A voice came from the ceiling.
McGonagall looked up and saw Sirius Black, glued against the ceiling. She sighed. 'That's what you get, you little marauding bitch!' She walked towards the door, switched off the light and left the glue-closet.
Sirius tried to look around the dark room/closet, but couldn't because his hair was glued to the ceiling, too. 'Err... Anyone here? ... Hello?? *Anyone*?!! ...Help...'
THE END!
~~~ I know this chapter wasn't as funny or as insane as the other, but I wanted to do another random story... Oh well, review anyway, please!~~~
