Nope. Still not mine. Alas, alack, and Alaska...
Part Eight
Buffy watched Angel walk deliberately across the crowded dance floor, but she found herself thinking about Giles instead of the vampire. He had said that people surprise you every now and then, but Buffy wasn't really surprised. True, she hadn't expected Angel to show up at the dance, but she wasn't actually surprised. Angel was fairly predictable, once you cracked his brooding mystery man act. He would glide over to her, look at her with soulful eyes, inform her that he was still going to leave Sunnydale after the Ascension, and then he would ask her to dance. Whereas Giles ... she had absolutely no idea what Giles would have said if Angel hadn't showed. She hoped that he had planned to ask her to dance, but she didn't actually know if that was what he would have done.
The problem was that her relationship with Angel was so ... scripted. They kissed, they cuddled, they made declarations of undying love to each other, they gazed at each other soulfully, they fought side by side, and they hurt each other every damn time they spent more than two minutes together. And that was really just about it. Restrained by Angel's curse (not to mention the niggling little fact that he wasn't actually alive), there was no room to grow or expand their relationship. And yet she clung to this painful entanglement because she always knew what to expect, because there were never any surprises. When had she let her life become so predictable, so safe? She always took risks in her Slaying, so why was she so afraid of the unknown in her personal relationships?
Would Giles dance with her if she asked him, or would he stutter his way out of it? Buffy didn't know, and she suddenly found that thought very attractive. Acting on instinct, she turned her back on Angel and ran towards Giles. Despite his height, she couldn't actually see him among the mass of dancing couples. Time to trust her Slayer senses. She closed her eyes, and felt a pull towards her left. Within moments, she was tapping Giles on the shoulder.
Giles swung around and stared at her in confusion. "Buffy? You do know that Angel is here, don't you?"
Feeling much less sure of herself than she appeared, Buffy stared him in the eye. "You mean the guy who dumped me yesterday? Yeah, I know he's here. What I don't know is why my Watcher ditched me in the middle of our conversation."
Giles blushed from his collar all the way up to his hairline. "I, I, I thought–"
Now it was Buffy's turn to blush. "You thought I wouldn't be interested in you if Angel was here? I'm sorry I ever made you feel that way." Suddenly, Buffy grinned impishly. "As for tonight, what can I say? I'm shallow. You look way better in your tux than Angel looks in his, and I want to be seen in the arms of the best looking guy at the Prom."
Giles' blush deepened to an absurd shade of red. "Th- th- the best–" Giles placed Buffy's umbrella under the refreshment table, closed his eyes, and then blurted out as quickly as he could, "Buffy, would you like to dance with me?"
Buffy smiled happily. "Wild, wild horses couldn't keep me from it!"
Giles looked confused again, but then noticed the lyrics of the impossibly sappy song that was playing over the loud speakers. He smiled boyishly, and Buffy wondered why she had ever thought him old. "Perhaps one shouldn't say things like that on a Hellmouth."
Buffy giggled and then slipped into his arms. She rested her hands lightly on his shoulders, while he gently placed his hands on her hips. They were barely touching each other, and yet she felt surrounded by Giles' gentleness.
They danced for a moment in companionable silence, until Giles reluctantly spoke up. "Angel is leaving. You had best go after him now, or you may miss him altogether."
Buffy shrugged. "He's leaving the Prom now; he's leaving town right after graduation. It's all the same, and I'm not sure I want to put myself through the aggravation twice. Besides, if I go over there, he'll monopolize the rest of my evening. I want to dance with Xander, and Oz, and maybe with Jonathan or Larry, and I won't get to do that if Angel sticks around." Buffy paused, and then added with a grin, "Besides, I'm hoping to cadge another dance or two with my Watcher later this evening."
Giles gave her one of his sweet, fleeting smiles. "You might find it a little difficult prying him away from Cordelia."
Buffy quickly jerked her eyes up to his. Was he really so uncertain of her loyalty? Giles' emerald eyes were filled with gentle humor, but also a trace of insecurity that broke her heart. Angry on his behalf, Buffy glared at Giles. "Cordy is more than welcome to Wesley, but she had damn well better keep her mitts off of MY Watcher!" Giles' eyes crinkled in amusement, and Buffy ducked her head in embarrassment. "Gee, Buffy. Possessive, much?"
"It's okay, Buffy. Lord knows I understand how you feel. I don't give a damn whose arms hold you at night, or who receives a paycheck to Watch you, you are MY Slayer and always will be." Giles suddenly looked apprehensive, as if he had said far more than he had intended to and was afraid of the consequences.
Buffy stared intently at Giles, who swallowed nervously. "Yeah, I am." Buffy lifted her hands off of Giles' shoulders and locked them behind his neck. She then snuggled into his chest and added, "It's kinda nice to belong to somebody, isn't it?"
Giles momentarily stiffened in surprise, but then nuzzled the top of her head. He pulled her body closer to his and whispered in her ear, "yes. Yes it is."
Buffy and Giles did not speak again for the remainder of the song, but it was no longer a comfortable silence. There was an almost palpable tension between them now ... a tension that was unmistakably sexual in nature. It was new, it was scary, and it was marvelous. When the wild horses' song ended, Giles dropped his arms and started to step away from Buffy; but she didn't let him go. He smiled and wordlessly gathered her back in his arms for the next song.
They danced through two more songs before Xander broke in. For the next few hours, Buffy danced with almost a dozen young men. None of Buffy's partners received her unfocused attention, however, as her gaze kept wandering back towards her Watcher. For his part, Giles danced with Cordelia and Willow, and stared at his Slayer in between these Scooby social obligations. When the DJ announced the last song, Buffy and Giles moved towards each other through a mutual, if unspoken, accord. Buffy snaked her arms around Giles' neck, and he smiled down at her. "So, have you had your perfect high school moment?"
Buffy looked up at Giles so seriously that his smile faded. Finally, she answered. "I think this is that perfect moment, right now. Not at all what I would have predicted this morning."
"And is this a good thing," Giles asked apprehensively.
"The best," Buffy stated simply. Giles grinned, and Buffy was overwhelmed by two emotions that she had never encountered simultaneously before: happiness and desire. The thought that she could want somebody who wasn't causing her pain was beyond bizarre, but utterly wonderful. She could get used to this.
Suddenly, the reality of her thoughts struck her like a mack truck. She wanted Giles. She didn't want him to train her, or to do research for her, or to clean up one of her messes; she wanted him to hold her and kiss her and eventually to make love to her. She loved Giles–had loved him for years–but could she possibly be in love with him? Super strong physical attraction to a man that she loved, one that she also liked as friend, someone that she enjoyed spending time with ... is this what love really felt like? For over two years Angel had been bringing pain, angst, and misery into her life, and she had been calling it love; maybe she had been wrong all along. Maybe, in the end, pain was really only pain.
The idea of being in love with Giles was uber-strange on the surface, but it sort of made sense at the same time. They were partners, perfectly balanced in their strengths and weaknesses, and they were both Chosen to fight evil. Could they also be Chosen for each other? Did she have the courage to find out? But what if she was wrong? If she made a move on Giles and things turned out badly, it would screw up their relationship forever. She couldn't afford to drive him out of her life; she just couldn't. Maybe she should just go home and pretend that her feelings for Giles really were just platonic. The Summer's denial genes were pretty strong; if she didn't say anything tonight, she could get away with avoiding this issue forever. That would definitely be the smart thing to do...
If you think Buffy should play it safe and go home, go to part nine.
If you think Buffy should take a chance, and find out where this new attraction might lead to, go to part ten.
