Part II Chapter 1

Disclaimer and Author's note: Okay, first of all, this is Part Two of Elves in Spandex, Legolas in lurve and Three Weirdos, as appeared by Miss2Pouty. Three of us wrote this story, Miss2Pouty, Pherlaith, and me. Here's Part Two of the random but (we think) very funny story of Elle, Alicia and Morgan. Enjoy! Secondly, we own none of the characters except Alicia, Elle and Morgan. Anyway, read on.

"Wait for me!" wailed Elle. She was stumbling behind Alicia and Morgan, wheeling two matching fuchsia pink suitcases, carrying a third member of the set slung over her shoulder and with the fourth and final large garish suitcase nestled in her arms. She was leading a mangy looking donkey on a rope. She was also carrying a colossal, fluffy, stuffed elephant toy which was sitting on top of the suitcase. (It was pink as well.) "Hurry up!" called Alicia, "They'll see us and shout at us!" She carried on her mad dash to reach the pier on time with Morgan, who was sprinting ahead, her long legs covering twice the distance in one single stride as any normal being could run in ten seconds. It was Morgan's fault they were leaving in the first place. They had stayed a long time in the Grey Havens (Holiday Village and Retirement Homes) and were enjoying their stay immensely. Nowhere on Earth was the sun so bright, the sand so white or the sea so clear (the grass, however, was still greener on the other side[ of the sea ] it always is.) They had remembered to send postcards (to Legolas, Bilbo and Oliver Wood) and all was going smoothly until Morgan decide it would be a good idea to sunbathe topless ( she was getting a bikini line). The Grey Havens authorities were not pleased at this, and threatened to throw them off the island. Morgan got the point(s), and the friends packed up and left. "Wait!" implored Elle again. There was no answer, as Alicia and Morgan had thundered off into the distance. Elle stopped. She had 'sand' in her shoe. Her excuses were definitely getting better these days, she thought proudly. The donkey looked around uninterestedly, then began chewing a hole in some unfortunate sunbather's swimming costume. Right at the poor guy's crotch. Ignoring the agonised cries of pain, she toddled on again a few minutes later after ogling some of the fit men walking around. Ten minutes later, the boat steamed out of the harbour (well, not quite, as it was a rowing boat, but steamed sounds more impressive) leaving the Grey Havens (Holiday Village and Retirement Homes) behind. A rather hot elfy dude was rowing the boat. Alicia, Elle and Morgan sat slumped in the prow of the ship. Morgan was wearing an 'I'm with Stupid' T-shirt (with a velcro arrow so she could point it towards whoever was currently annoying her most) and a sarong . Perched on her head at a cocky angle sat a 'Kiss me quick' hat. Alicia wore a T-shirt with the slogan 'I heart GH' emblazoned across the front of it, paired with cropped trousers. Elle and Bill the donkey were wearing matching 'I went to Grey Havens Holiday Village and Retirement Home and all I got was this lousy T-shirt' tops. (the writing was in extremely small print). Elle was also wearing a pink and lime green flowery sarong, with a large hole in it (Bill was colour blind) She was also wearing saffron and indigo hotpants, which Bill was eyeing up speculatively. All three of them were bright pink. (Due to elven fair skin, no elf has been known to get a sun tan, They all burn.) "Alicia," Elle asked in a wheedling little voice, "how do you keep an idiot in suspense?" Alicia sighed resignedly. "I don't know, Elle." "Nor me. Been waiting for someone to tell me, actually." Just as they were all dozing off to sleep, the donkey leaned over and began eating Morgan's hair. "STOP THAT!" she screeched. All the windows within a ten - mile radius smashed. "Will you please get rid of that fucking animal!" she bellowed. Elle's bottom lip began to quiver, and her eyes filled with tears. Alicia, sensing a confrontation, quickly intervened. "Guys, guys," she said soothingly " Calm down, okay? Morgan, try not to shout at Elle, and Elle, try to stop the donkey... why do we have a donkey with us?!" "This should be interesting." muttered Morgan darkly. Elle shot her an injured look. " He was all losted and alone. We couldn't just leave him there!" "Actually-" began Morgan. Alicia interrupted. "Elle, he was giving donkey rides! As in, working! As in, giving ickle kiddies rides up and down the beach in return for carrots! He was not all 'losted and alone'!" "But he has these big brown eyes...." began Elle. She suddenly sensed (an amazing achievement for her) that she was chancing her luck. "He's called Bill." "You gave that thing a name?" asked Morgan incredulously. The rowing elf dude watched in amusement. Alicia tried to plug her ears with scraps of Elle's sarong. It was going to be a looooonnnng trip.