Chapter 2
Disclaimer : the 'steel nipples' belong to Mr Bryden, Principal Teacher of History at Craigmount High School in Edinburgh. Orophin, Frodo and Strider/ Aragorn belongs to Tolkein, as do all the places, but the rest is ours. We promise!
It was dark before the craft came aground on the pebbly beach which stood for a pier on Middle Earth. All was silent, except for the faint, strangely calming sound of waves crashing onto the shore, and the cry of a lone (and rather lost) woodpigeon. A few of the stars of Elbereth twinkled up in the vast, dark ether above them. Alicia gazed out into the inky blackness of night.... and Elle climbed off the wrong edge of the boat and fell into the sea. Alicia was quite hurt. "I was enjoying that moment!" she cried indignantly "I felt all poetic." Morgan snorted loudly, and muttered something sarcastically under her breath. Bill wheezed knowingly. Elle, who was struggling in the murky seawater, burbled frantically. She gestured furiously at Alicia and Morgan, who suddenly realised that their friend might not be able to swim. Annoying as she sometimes was, they didn't want to leave her at the bottom of the Bay of Belfalas. They both simultaneously leaned over the edge of the little vessel and tried to reach their companion. Unfortunately, this unbalanced the boat, which tipped dangerously. Alicia and Morgan were too immersed in trying to save Elle's life to notice this complication. Orophin, the elf who had accompanied the girls from the Grey Havens (Holiday Village and Retirement Homes) thought it would be wise to be on shore, rather than the violently rocking boat, at this precise moment in time. He nimbly leapt ashore... just as the boat slanted up, depositing its contents into the still sea. Alicia and Morgan were catapulted out of the little skiff to land in the water with a resounding SPLASH. Bill toppled into the water, braying furiously. He landed on top of Morgan. Orophin stood watching the scene unfolding in amusement. Alicia and Morgan sat in two inches of water, glaring at Elle, who pretended not to notice. "Elle..." began Morgan in a glacial tone "WE THOUGHT YOU WERE BLOODY WELL DROWNING, YOU STUPID COW!!!!" " What she means," interjected Alicia, "is that you fell in the sea and you looked pathetic and you made those gurgly noises and we thought you couldn't swim. We were trying to help you. We were trying to SAVE YOUR BLOODY LIFE!!! What the hell were you trying to say?!" She glowered at Elle. "We - ell," muttered Elle resentfully "IsaidthatmydresswasdrycleanONLY," she paused for breath "and it was getting ruined! Have you any idea how hard it is to get decent clothes around here?!" she finished sulkily. "I mean, ever since the Gap of Rohan closed..." Alicia and Morgan were staring at her open -mouthed. "It was a nice dress," she added cautiously. Morgan took a deep breath. Before she even opened her mouth to speak Alicia and Elle were cowering beneath the boat. Orophin looked apprehensively at Morgan. She glared at him, opened her mouth and let rip.
Frodo Baggins was lying drifting off into a slumber on the hobbit's fourth day of trekking through the Midgewater Marshes, led by Strider. Just as sleep tickled his drowsy eyelids, he witnessed strange flares of light coming from far away to the east, towards Weathertop. He blinked, coming out of a doze. The lights were still there, or were they? Brightening and then ebbing away, they played tricks on the eyes, making you wonder if such a thing really existed. He saw Strider nearby, and queried the source and cause of the illuminations. Strider dismissed the flares as lightening, but Frodo knew this to be false. As he lay down to sleep, a black shadow gripped his heart. Sleep was a long time coming to the small hobbit.
Elle and Alicia glanced at each other; Morgan seemed to have finished. All was quiet outside the little log boat. Apprehensively, Alicia lifted the corner of the wooden shell which had protected them from Morgan's wrath. Blissful peace and quiet greeted her. She scrambled out from the boat...to be confronted by a dazed looking Orophin. "The lights...the shining.... " he burbled. It was all Alicia could get out of him. She felt sorry for the little guy. Elle crept out behind her. "Awwww, poor lil elfy dood!" she cooed. "But rather hot!" she added as an afterthought. She bent to perform the Kiss of Life (she'd had plenty of practice during their trip) but something caught her eye. "Eeeeeewwwwwwww!" she screeched "He has sticky out nipples! They're, like, nipples of steel! They must be steel nipples! Eeuugghh! Look at them, sticking through his robey thing! Yuck!" She withdrew hastily. Meanwhile, Alicia was tentatively approaching Morgan. "Must have been some fireworks display, Morg." Alicia commented. Morgan, who was sitting by the shore facing the sea and meditating, nodded. "I needed to get it out of my system," she replied simply, adding as a final thought, "Oohhhhmmmmm!"
Disclaimer : the 'steel nipples' belong to Mr Bryden, Principal Teacher of History at Craigmount High School in Edinburgh. Orophin, Frodo and Strider/ Aragorn belongs to Tolkein, as do all the places, but the rest is ours. We promise!
It was dark before the craft came aground on the pebbly beach which stood for a pier on Middle Earth. All was silent, except for the faint, strangely calming sound of waves crashing onto the shore, and the cry of a lone (and rather lost) woodpigeon. A few of the stars of Elbereth twinkled up in the vast, dark ether above them. Alicia gazed out into the inky blackness of night.... and Elle climbed off the wrong edge of the boat and fell into the sea. Alicia was quite hurt. "I was enjoying that moment!" she cried indignantly "I felt all poetic." Morgan snorted loudly, and muttered something sarcastically under her breath. Bill wheezed knowingly. Elle, who was struggling in the murky seawater, burbled frantically. She gestured furiously at Alicia and Morgan, who suddenly realised that their friend might not be able to swim. Annoying as she sometimes was, they didn't want to leave her at the bottom of the Bay of Belfalas. They both simultaneously leaned over the edge of the little vessel and tried to reach their companion. Unfortunately, this unbalanced the boat, which tipped dangerously. Alicia and Morgan were too immersed in trying to save Elle's life to notice this complication. Orophin, the elf who had accompanied the girls from the Grey Havens (Holiday Village and Retirement Homes) thought it would be wise to be on shore, rather than the violently rocking boat, at this precise moment in time. He nimbly leapt ashore... just as the boat slanted up, depositing its contents into the still sea. Alicia and Morgan were catapulted out of the little skiff to land in the water with a resounding SPLASH. Bill toppled into the water, braying furiously. He landed on top of Morgan. Orophin stood watching the scene unfolding in amusement. Alicia and Morgan sat in two inches of water, glaring at Elle, who pretended not to notice. "Elle..." began Morgan in a glacial tone "WE THOUGHT YOU WERE BLOODY WELL DROWNING, YOU STUPID COW!!!!" " What she means," interjected Alicia, "is that you fell in the sea and you looked pathetic and you made those gurgly noises and we thought you couldn't swim. We were trying to help you. We were trying to SAVE YOUR BLOODY LIFE!!! What the hell were you trying to say?!" She glowered at Elle. "We - ell," muttered Elle resentfully "IsaidthatmydresswasdrycleanONLY," she paused for breath "and it was getting ruined! Have you any idea how hard it is to get decent clothes around here?!" she finished sulkily. "I mean, ever since the Gap of Rohan closed..." Alicia and Morgan were staring at her open -mouthed. "It was a nice dress," she added cautiously. Morgan took a deep breath. Before she even opened her mouth to speak Alicia and Elle were cowering beneath the boat. Orophin looked apprehensively at Morgan. She glared at him, opened her mouth and let rip.
Frodo Baggins was lying drifting off into a slumber on the hobbit's fourth day of trekking through the Midgewater Marshes, led by Strider. Just as sleep tickled his drowsy eyelids, he witnessed strange flares of light coming from far away to the east, towards Weathertop. He blinked, coming out of a doze. The lights were still there, or were they? Brightening and then ebbing away, they played tricks on the eyes, making you wonder if such a thing really existed. He saw Strider nearby, and queried the source and cause of the illuminations. Strider dismissed the flares as lightening, but Frodo knew this to be false. As he lay down to sleep, a black shadow gripped his heart. Sleep was a long time coming to the small hobbit.
Elle and Alicia glanced at each other; Morgan seemed to have finished. All was quiet outside the little log boat. Apprehensively, Alicia lifted the corner of the wooden shell which had protected them from Morgan's wrath. Blissful peace and quiet greeted her. She scrambled out from the boat...to be confronted by a dazed looking Orophin. "The lights...the shining.... " he burbled. It was all Alicia could get out of him. She felt sorry for the little guy. Elle crept out behind her. "Awwww, poor lil elfy dood!" she cooed. "But rather hot!" she added as an afterthought. She bent to perform the Kiss of Life (she'd had plenty of practice during their trip) but something caught her eye. "Eeeeeewwwwwwww!" she screeched "He has sticky out nipples! They're, like, nipples of steel! They must be steel nipples! Eeuugghh! Look at them, sticking through his robey thing! Yuck!" She withdrew hastily. Meanwhile, Alicia was tentatively approaching Morgan. "Must have been some fireworks display, Morg." Alicia commented. Morgan, who was sitting by the shore facing the sea and meditating, nodded. "I needed to get it out of my system," she replied simply, adding as a final thought, "Oohhhhmmmmm!"
