Chapter 4

Disclaimer: We own only Alicia, Elle and Morgan. All other characters and places belong to the great lord Tolkein. All hail.

Alicia found Morgan and Elle sitting in the main Dining room of Rivendell. As she entered, Alicia was slightly surprised at the surroundings. Gazing up at the lofty, gracefully arching ceiling, she mused,

"It wasn't like this in the film..." her voice trailed off as she sighted her friends. Elle was eyeing up all the elves in the room, searching for a prospective crush. Finally, her eyes settled on a guy (wearing a spandex leotard, of course) that she thought looked like a particularly fine specimen. She sidled up to the unsuspecting elf, and coughed to get his attention. (Actually, her cough sounded something like 'cough cough turnaroundandlookatmenow cough', but never mind).

"You're the best looking bloke I've ever seen!" she declared expectantly.

"Thanks, I wish I could say the same for you." came the reply

"Huh!" Elle muttered indignantly, "You could if you were as big as liar as me!" she spat at him, before turning away.

Morgan was watching with interest. She'd never quite got the hang of chatting up guys. She decided to try her luck. She innocently wandered up to a solitary looking elf, then pounced.

"You're the ugliest guy I've ever seen." She said brightly " I'm a big bad liar!" The elf looked at her, with a look of disdain meets bemusement, bordering on anger. He eventually decided, after much deliberation, that this was definitely an insult, slapped Morgan on the cheek, and flounced off.

"Hahahaha!" laughed Morgan, completely self-absorbed, "I forgot to ask you out! Will you go out with me?!" she called after the retreating elfy derriere.

Elle was still trying, hopefully, to hook an elf. Well, Oliver had broken up with almost an hour ago. To Elle, this was the equivalent to a dating drought. She dodged up to the next prospective victim, and cleared her throat loudly.

"Hhmmhhhmmm! Hi!" she said brightly, "Would you accept if I were to ask you out?" she spoke hopefully.

"Accept what? Defeat?" replied the elf.

"Hehehehehe! You're so funny!" Elle tittered. "How did you get to be so beautiful?" she tried again (being thick enough to have not understood the put-down she had just received).

"I must have been given your share!" retorted the elf, walking off.

"Why, thanks!" said Elle, still in flirt mode. The truth suddenly dawned. "Hey..."

Alicia was pissing herself with laughter at the antics of her two friends. Elle gave her a dark look. If looks could kill, Alicia would have been a dead, buried mouldering corpse.

"Okay, Miss Smart-Arse, if you think we're so funny, you chat up a guy! Try that one, right there." Elle spoke in the nearest she could get to a furious tone. She sounded slightly constipated. She pointed to the sexiest elf in the whole hall, who was so surrounded with female admirers, Alicia could only see the tips of his attractively pointy ears.

"Fine," she acknowledged. She walked up to the elf, and the crowds parted to let her through (she felt a bit like Moses, thought Alicia. She could certainly get used to this!) She looked the elf in the eye, and cleared her throat.

"Hi..." she stopped, not knowing his name.

"Glorfindel," one of the groupies supplied.

"...Glorfindel," Alicia said. "Do you have a map?" she asked coyly. He looked puzzled.

"No, why?"

"Coz I'm lost in your eyes." Alicia finished. She paused, trying to gauge his reaction.

"Get your coat, you've pulled!" Glorfindel replied, winking at Alicia.

"But...but.." she stuttered, "but...it was a...dare...I'd love to get you in bed, but...I'm going out with Legolas...sorry, bye!" She flushed crimson and dashed off. Elle and Morgan were watching speechlessly. Elle scraped her jaw off the floor.

"What did you....what happened....HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" Alicia winked.

"Natural charm and good looks. Of course." She flicked her hair in bimbo stylee.

"Okay, okay!" Morgan interrupted, "so we suck ass! Now, what happened at the council?" Alicia looked sheepish.

"Erm, well... you know what they say about words going in one ear and out the other? Well, words weren't even coming vaguely near my ears. They sprinted away in the other direction as soon as Elrond said them." She grimaced. "Soz."

"Great. Really great." Said Morgan sarcastically.

"Alicia," murmured Elle, "that Glorfindel guy's really hot. Could you maybe fix me up on a date with him, pleeeaaase pleeeaaase pleeeaaase....."