See part one for notes and disclaimers, with one caveat: this part, unlike the rest, is NC-17. Please do not read if you are under the age of consent.

Part Twelve

Buffy took in a big gulp of air, desperately hoping to find the courage she needed. "You're right. This feeling is scarily new, and as for precious, well, it is the most precious thing to ever come into my life. You say that you never saw me as a woman before tonight—and what is that about, by the way? If I stopped being a girl when I turned seventeen, what have I been for the past year and a half or so? Some amorphous blob?" Buffy shook her head when she noticed that Giles was about to say something. "I'm getting sidetracked here. What I was going to say was that I never saw you as a man either, not until we were dancing and we agreed that we belonged to each other. Time to get used to this new tingly feeling would be a must sort of thing ... IF we weren't the Chosen Ones, and IF we didn't live on a Hellmouth."

Giles didn't like this line of thought. His face darkened and he growled, "Buffy—"

"No, Giles. It's your turn to hear me out," Buffy snapped. "You say that we will have plenty of time to explore our feelings for each other, but you can't know that for sure. We lead dangerous lives, and either one of us could die at any time. I could have died tonight—well, maybe not tonight, cause those hellhounds were incredibly easy to Slay, but yesterday night—and I never would have had a clue that I was in love with you. I don't want to die tomorrow night without ever knowing what it would have been like to make love with you."

This was too much for Giles. "Nothing is going to happen to you," he hissed fiercely. "I won't permit it."

"Are you really so certain you can keep that promise, Giles? I have an awful lot more to lose now than I did a few hours ago. From the day that Angel returned from hell, I've known that our relationship couldn't go anywhere, but I didn't care because he was all that I could see. But now, I see you, and I see so many possibilities that weren't open to me before, and I want them all!"

Cautiously, Giles asked, "What do you see, Buffy?"

"I see the opportunity to know what an orgasm feels like. Girls don't really experience that their very first time, or so I've read, and a first time is all I've ever had. I see the chance to know what it feels like to wake up in the arms of a lover. I see the prospect of being with a man who actually makes me happy instead of miserable. I see a relationship based on sunlight instead of huddling in a dark corner. I see growth and a possible future. Like I said, I see you."

"I'll still be here in the morning. And so will you." Giles spoke calmly, but his eyes were shining ardently. Buffy was getting to him.

"Yeah, we'll both be here tomorrow, but how about the day after tomorrow, or the day after that? At the risk of sounding like Faith, a Slayer has to take what she can, when she can. Her life is just too short to do anything else. I see you, and I want you; the question is, can I have you?"

Suddenly, Giles grabbed her arms and began devouring her. Unlike their previous kiss, this was neither sweet nor gentle; it was rough and bruising, and made Buffy's head swim with desire. The kiss ended just as unexpectedly as it began, with Giles yanking his head away from hers and snarling, "Get in the damn car." Not waiting for Buffy to respond, Giles jogged over to his side of the car and slid into the driver's seat. He started the engine and released the parking brake before Buffy had her seatbelt on.

Still spinning from Giles' unexpectedly brutal kiss, Buffy meekly asked, "Have you decided where we're going?"

"My place," he growled. He took his eyes off the road to glance at her; and something in her face made his fierceness vanish, just as suddenly as it had appeared. "Th- that is, um, we can go to my flat if that is still what you, er, want."

Although he couldn't see it, Buffy smiled. "That is exactly what I want. Why would I change my mind?"

Sounded dejected, Giles answered, "I reacted rather badly just now. I'm sorry. It's just—" Giles stopped in frustration, and then began again. "I have never liked to think of anything happening to you. The very thought has always been enough to make me feel like all the air has been sucked out of a room. But tonight... tonight when I have just realized what you really mean to me... the idea that you might be killed in the near future..." Giles paused again, and then added lamely, "it just made me a little crazy. I shouldn't have mauled you like that, and I'm sorry."

"I liked the mauling part," Buffy quipped. Then, more seriously, "I'm the one who's sorry, Giles. I know that you don't like to talk about the Slayer lifespan, but I figured that it was the only way to make you understand why I don't want to wait to be with you."

"You manipulated me." Giles' voice was flat and angry.

"I prefer to think of it as a successful tactical exercise."

"Tactics?" Giles gasped incredulously.

"Yeah. I figured out what I really wanted, but there was an obstacle in my path. So, I looked for the best way to remove the obstacle without damaging my ultimate objective. I have this really great mentor in tactics, and I kinda think he might be proud of me."

"You think that, do you?" Giles still sounded mad, but Buffy could see a smile fluttering around the edges of his mouth. She was reasonably certain that Giles would forgive her, if he hadn't already. "I think your instructor would give you fairly poor marks for your performance tonight. You are not operating on neutral territory, but rather on your mark's home turf. This gives you a tactical handicap, and increases the odds that your target might take advantage of you."

Using her most seductive voice, Buffy purred, "That was sort of the idea..."

There was a long silence, and Buffy wondered whether she had just made Giles angrier. Had she gone over a line of some sort? She had been trying for sexy, but maybe she just sounded manipulative. Just as she was beginning to panic, Giles started to laugh. It began as a deep, throaty laugh, but slowly dissolved into contagious giggles. By the time the car had stopped in front of Giles' apartment complex, Buffy was just as caught up in a giggling fit as Giles was. "So much," she hiccuped, "for my big attempt at seduction."

Struggling manfully against his hysterics, Giles turned to face her ... and broke out laughing once again. This fit didn't last as long this time, however, as both he and Buffy were winded. Finally, Giles was able to speak. "You don't need to make a big attempt at seduction, Buffy. I want you; you know that. That said, I think you also know that I don't want your body nearly as much as I want you to be happy. If you are certain—and I do mean truly certain—that spending the night with me will make you happy, then I get everything I want at once." Buffy grinned and would have spoken, but Giles held his hand up to prevent her. "But Buffy, do be certain. If there is the slightest possibility that you might later regret coming here, please let me know now so that I can take you home. If you were to feel any remorse tomorrow for anything we happen to do tonight ... it would kill me. It would literally kill me."

Buffy was stunned that the emotional marathon man would open up to her in this way. It wasn't just in his words, but also in his eyes. Every corner of his soul shone out of his vulnerable green eyes, and it was far more beautiful than she had ever imagined. She had loved her repressed Watcher for years; she had ached for his touch for hours; but it wasn't until this moment that she realized that she was head-over-heels in love with him. The depth of her love astonished her, but oddly enough it didn't frighten her; this felt right in a way that nothing else ever had before. She wanted to tell him how she felt, but the emotions were too huge for words. All that came out was a breathy "Oh, Giles..." What a joke! Her shy Watcher who flustered so easily and stuttered his way through the simplest sentiment had just laid it all on the line while she, Ms. Babblefest 1999, seemed unable to say a single thing that was in her heart.

He stared at her for an eternity while Buffy continued her frantic search for the words that could tell him what she so desperately needed to say. Her mind remained blank, and she began to despair. Her eyes must have been more eloquent than her mouth, however, for he obviously saw in them what he needed to know. He leaned over and kissed her, gently but thoroughly. When he pulled back he gave her a heart-breaking smile and said, "Well, come on then. Let's get inside." Giles unfolded his large frame from his tiny car, came around to open her door, grasped her hand, and led her inside. As they walked through the door, Buffy wondered whether it was possible to die of happiness.

- * - * - * - * -

Lovemaking with Giles was as far removed from her evening with Angel as it was possible to get. There was no rushing, no desperation, no darkness, and, most of all, no shame at all. Everything Giles did was deliberate, with the sole aim of making Buffy feel comfortable and special. They held hands as they slowly went up the stairs to the loft, stopping every few steps for sweet, gentle kisses. Once in the room, Giles turned on the light in the closet and then cracked the door so the light would glow into the room without shining in either's eyes. He then turned her around so that he could unzip her dress, which he slowly lifted over her head. He trailed light fingers down her spine and then kissed her on the back of her neck. He then moved down to her ear, and murmured, "So goddamn beautiful." He hung up her dress and his jacket so neither would get wrinkled, and then he spun her around. When she was looking him in the eyes, he whispered "Promise me, Buffy."

"Whatever you like, Giles," she breathed intensely. To her surprise, Giles laughed. "Was that a too melodramatic?"

"It was a bit, yes," he chuckled. "That's alright though. If you enjoy melodrama, then by all means indulge yourself! But you must promise me this: if anything, at any time, makes you feel uncomfortable, you will tell me. There is no point of no return, and you are not to worry about me. If you aren't totally happy, I want to know about it. Will you do that for me?"

"I promise, but I can also promise that there isn't going to be a problem. Giles, happy' has been redefined for me tonight. I am so far beyond happy, beyond blissful, beyond ecstatic... I guess I'm not making a lot of sense..."

"You have just described how I feel perfectly. It's called love, and nothing in this world makes more sense." He then leaned down to kiss her. His tongue was feather light as it swept her mouth, and it made her crazy. Buffy grabbed hold of his torso and pulled him close, but he limited himself to skimming his hands ethereally over her hair, carefully not touching her buzzing skin at all.

On some level, Buffy understood that Giles was controlling himself because he didn't want to influence her; but his restraint was driving her insane. More than that, it was undermining her confidence in herself. Behind her desire for Giles there was the lingering fear that Angelus was right, she really did have a lot to learn about men. She began tugging at his trousers, wanting to see tangible proof that he truly wanted her as badly as she wanted him. As his pants fell to the ground, she got the evidence she craved: the cloth of his briefs was stretched taut by a straining erection. He was large and impossibly hard, which she expected, and hot to the touch, which surprised her. She had replayed her one night with Angel so many times--that blurry mental porno movie her sole release from the need that wracked her body after an intense Slaying—and she had always assumed that that night had been perfect. She knew better now. The heat radiating from Giles' body was calling forth an answering inferno from her own body, and she found herself wanting him in a way that she had never wanted Angel. Buffy felt a need to communicate this to Giles, an emotional ache to match the physical one in her loins. "I love you, Giles, more than I ever thought possible. And I want you, way more than I ever thought possible."

Giles chuckled softly at her second declaration, and then gazed into her hazel eyes. "I love you too, Buffy. And, if you're certain, God knows I want you too." He then proceeded to prove it, as slowly and carefully as he could. Buffy began to think that there might be some benefits to making love with a cautious man. By the end of the night, she was certain of it.

- * - * - * - * -

Buffy awoke with the disquieting sense that someone was staring at her. She snapped open her eyes and immediately saw Giles propped up on his elbow, watching her with an inscrutable expression. Suddenly, Buffy found herself remembering the last time she had awoken in a man's bed and panic began to choke her. She gave Giles a weak smile and said, "Hey!"

Giles gave her a heartbreaking smile and murmured "Good morning, Buffy. You slept well, I trust." The words were very Gilesy, but they were said with so much love and caring that Buffy's heart stopped in her chest. Buffy was ashamed of herself. How could she ever have been uncertain of Giles? He would never do an Angelus on her, and she should have known that.

"Morning, yourself," she said shyly. "And yeah, I slept great. I've never been more comfy in my whole life. You?"

"I haven't slept that well in years," he said with a warm smile. "I like having you here. I like knowing that you're safe." His smile turned mischievous. "And I like having blond hair in my face while I sleep; it filters the air for me."

Buffy blushed furiously. "Sorry bout that. What time is it, anyway?"

Still grinning, Giles answered, "Quarter to seven. We are supposed to meet the others at the library by 8:30; there's plenty of time to eat breakfast and drop you off at home for a change of clothes if we both take quick showers."

"That's right, we have Scooby research scheduled for today, don't we?" Buffy wasn't sure how she felt about that. Turning her trademark pout at him, Buffy asked, "Can't we blow it off, and just stay in bed all day?"

Buffy had been trying for a flippant tone, but she knew right away that she had failed. The happy grin slipped away, and his entire body tensed up. "You know that we can't. Is there a problem that I should know about? Some reason that you don't want to see the others..."

"You think I'm ashamed of what we did last night," Buffy asked incredulously. "God, Giles! No! It's just... I'm not sure that they will be happy for us, and I really don't want to deal with any snarky comments. Not today. This is all so new and wonderful, and I just want to be happy for a while, and not worry about our friends' approval. Does that make any sense?"

"It does, actually. As a matter of fact, I was planning on asking you if you minded keeping this a secret until after graduation. I don't want to throw off the group dynamics until after the Ascension, and I certainly can't afford to lose my job—and access to the library—before then. Of course," Giles added thoughtfully, "that does mean that I will have to keep my hands off of your delectable body for the next few weeks, at least when we are in public. It will be quite trying."

Fighting a grin, Buffy asked, "Would it help you get through the day if I tire you out this morning?"

"You could try," Giles said smugly.

Buffy was insulted. "Try?!? Hey, Slayer stamina here! You think you can keep up with me, Watcher?"

Giles' response was a grin and an aggressive dive at Buffy's neck. It would make them late, but what the hell. Buffy didn't seem to know about Watcher stamina; perhaps he could label this as training. Giles wondered whether this aspect of being Chosen was covered in the Handbook that he never gave her...

THE END

You went straight for the gratuitous sex, didn't you? Well, I guess I can understand that, it's probably what I would have done in your place... Hope you enjoyed it! %^)