Chapter 9
"Oh, not again!" moaned an exasperated Elle. She stood in a roller disco style hall, near a small stage where three woman wearing very skimpy gold costumes were performing. All three had enormous afro hair styles. Looking down at herself, she saw that she was wearing an almost identical get-up, except in pink rather than gold and minus the afro. Alicia was standing behind her, clad in similar clothes.
"God, why do we always get stuck in the wrong films?" she asked the world at large. Alicia's eyes were shining.
"WOW! I love Austin Powers! I can't believe we're really here!" she said gleefully. As she watched, Foxxy Cleopatra left the stage and went over to Austin, who was sitting on a chair. Alicia was enthralled as Foxxy began to talk to Austin through a really ugly freak. Elle studied the scene, then tugged at Alicia's sleeve.
"Ali, we need to find our way back to the present before Austin Powers leaves this lair so we can find Morg. Quick!" Alicia had been ignoring her friend, until she heard Austin Powers' name come up.
"Shut up, Elle! Sssshhh-what?! What did you just say? Have you seen the film already?" Elle nodded absentmindedly.
"How? It didn't come out until after we got stuck in Middle Earth! Is it good?"
"Yep." Elle nodded. "I saw it on the Internet months ago. Now come on!" She dragged Alicia away.
Morgana was fuming. She was in Austin Powers' flat, and some Japanese twins were really bugging her. They seemed to think she was their sister. They kept on saying, "Fook you, Fook me!" and nodding their heads enthusiastically.
"Fuck off!" screeched Morgana, losing her patience completely. At this, the twins began nodding so much they could have doubled for nodding dogs. She was about to tell them exactly where to go, when there was a flash. She turned round to see Alicia and Elle standing in the middle of the floor.
Elle felt slightly sick. When the lights had finished swirling round she screwed her eyes up and looked around dizzily.
"Those time machines are so overrated!" she ventured to Alicia, who was snorting with laughter. "Jeez, it wasn't actua lly very cool, tell you didn't just enjoy that." she trailed off when she saw what her friend was laughing at.
Morgana was standing in the middle of the flat, wearing a tiny white miniskirt and a matching little white jacket. Her hair was in two high pigtails, and on her back she had a dinky bag with Fook Off written on it and a drawing of a panda which looked high. Standing next to her were two Japanese twins who looked almost akin to Morgana. All three were dressed in uniform outfits, the only difference being the words written on their matching bags. One twin wore a backpack with Fook Yu written upon it, the other twin bore the legend Fook Mi. It was clear that the pair had decided Morgana was their long-lost sister.
Leaving Morgana to fight her own battles, Alicia and Elle withdrew to the famous bedroom, where they lay on the bed. Alicia was trying to recall every single Austin Powers quote possible, and Elle (for once) had adopted the role of 'sensible one' and was trying to work out how to get back to Middle Earth to complete their quest there.
"It was that Tipperary sign that put me off, that's how we got here," she mused.
"Yeah, baby, yeah!" exclaimed Alicia. "I shall call him.Mini Me!"
"So, we need to try to get back to there.Maybe if we go to Tipperary on this earth - where's Tipperary?"
"Are those sharks with frickin' laserbeams on their heads? I love you, son! Wales." Remarked Alicia.
"Oookay, right, so, ummmmm, any ideas?" Elle said hopefully.
"Felicity Shagwell. Shagwell by name, shag very well by reputation! We could always borrow Austin's Shaguar."
"Who's gonna drive? Anyway, I have a better idea." Elle said expectantly.
"What's your name? Ivona. Ivona Humpalot. What's your idea?" asked Alicia obediently.
"In Goldmember, the film starts and finishes with Steven Speilburg making a film about Austin Powers' life, so if we run through the film to the end, we can escape through the film set and find the LOTR film set. Great idea, huh?" she added proudly.
"Mini Me, start pumping the frickin' laser." Alicia mimicked the quotation marks and Dr Evil's trademark pinky-on-mouth manoeuvre. "It sounds a bit far-fetched, but it could work. Let's go find Morgana."
"Oh, not again!" moaned an exasperated Elle. She stood in a roller disco style hall, near a small stage where three woman wearing very skimpy gold costumes were performing. All three had enormous afro hair styles. Looking down at herself, she saw that she was wearing an almost identical get-up, except in pink rather than gold and minus the afro. Alicia was standing behind her, clad in similar clothes.
"God, why do we always get stuck in the wrong films?" she asked the world at large. Alicia's eyes were shining.
"WOW! I love Austin Powers! I can't believe we're really here!" she said gleefully. As she watched, Foxxy Cleopatra left the stage and went over to Austin, who was sitting on a chair. Alicia was enthralled as Foxxy began to talk to Austin through a really ugly freak. Elle studied the scene, then tugged at Alicia's sleeve.
"Ali, we need to find our way back to the present before Austin Powers leaves this lair so we can find Morg. Quick!" Alicia had been ignoring her friend, until she heard Austin Powers' name come up.
"Shut up, Elle! Sssshhh-what?! What did you just say? Have you seen the film already?" Elle nodded absentmindedly.
"How? It didn't come out until after we got stuck in Middle Earth! Is it good?"
"Yep." Elle nodded. "I saw it on the Internet months ago. Now come on!" She dragged Alicia away.
Morgana was fuming. She was in Austin Powers' flat, and some Japanese twins were really bugging her. They seemed to think she was their sister. They kept on saying, "Fook you, Fook me!" and nodding their heads enthusiastically.
"Fuck off!" screeched Morgana, losing her patience completely. At this, the twins began nodding so much they could have doubled for nodding dogs. She was about to tell them exactly where to go, when there was a flash. She turned round to see Alicia and Elle standing in the middle of the floor.
Elle felt slightly sick. When the lights had finished swirling round she screwed her eyes up and looked around dizzily.
"Those time machines are so overrated!" she ventured to Alicia, who was snorting with laughter. "Jeez, it wasn't actua lly very cool, tell you didn't just enjoy that." she trailed off when she saw what her friend was laughing at.
Morgana was standing in the middle of the flat, wearing a tiny white miniskirt and a matching little white jacket. Her hair was in two high pigtails, and on her back she had a dinky bag with Fook Off written on it and a drawing of a panda which looked high. Standing next to her were two Japanese twins who looked almost akin to Morgana. All three were dressed in uniform outfits, the only difference being the words written on their matching bags. One twin wore a backpack with Fook Yu written upon it, the other twin bore the legend Fook Mi. It was clear that the pair had decided Morgana was their long-lost sister.
Leaving Morgana to fight her own battles, Alicia and Elle withdrew to the famous bedroom, where they lay on the bed. Alicia was trying to recall every single Austin Powers quote possible, and Elle (for once) had adopted the role of 'sensible one' and was trying to work out how to get back to Middle Earth to complete their quest there.
"It was that Tipperary sign that put me off, that's how we got here," she mused.
"Yeah, baby, yeah!" exclaimed Alicia. "I shall call him.Mini Me!"
"So, we need to try to get back to there.Maybe if we go to Tipperary on this earth - where's Tipperary?"
"Are those sharks with frickin' laserbeams on their heads? I love you, son! Wales." Remarked Alicia.
"Oookay, right, so, ummmmm, any ideas?" Elle said hopefully.
"Felicity Shagwell. Shagwell by name, shag very well by reputation! We could always borrow Austin's Shaguar."
"Who's gonna drive? Anyway, I have a better idea." Elle said expectantly.
"What's your name? Ivona. Ivona Humpalot. What's your idea?" asked Alicia obediently.
"In Goldmember, the film starts and finishes with Steven Speilburg making a film about Austin Powers' life, so if we run through the film to the end, we can escape through the film set and find the LOTR film set. Great idea, huh?" she added proudly.
"Mini Me, start pumping the frickin' laser." Alicia mimicked the quotation marks and Dr Evil's trademark pinky-on-mouth manoeuvre. "It sounds a bit far-fetched, but it could work. Let's go find Morgana."
