Chapter 10
Disclaimer: The characters and places featured within are not ours. Except Alicia, Elle and Morgan. Sadly, neither is Austin Powers or the jokes featured therein. But then that's us in a nutshell. No, this is us in a nutshell: 'Help, we're in a nutshell! How did we get here?..."
After extracting Morgana from her predicament, the intrepid trio set out to escape the world of Austin Powers, Alicia trying to grab any sort of souvenir she could, Morgana giving not-so-subtle hints by the way she walked that she would kill anyone who ever mentioned this again, and Elle occasionally darting out into various confrontations and intimate moments to ask for directions. At one point, Elle bumped into Austin Powers himself. "Oh, um, hi, emmm, which way to the end of the film, please?" "Moley moley mooooole! Take a left turn at Dr Evil's secret underwater base, baby! Moooo-" However, Alicia had heard the dulcet (coughcoughcough) tones of Mr Powers, and, forgetting for a moment that she hadn't seen Goldmember, popped out from their state of increased speed just long enough to say: "Hey, Scotty. WHOOOOW!" Chuckling under her breath, she was grabbed on the ellbogen by Elle, who darted back into the strange time/space continuum type thing they were currently inhabiting. Eventually, they made it to the end of the film, and were sitting in the cinema at the premiere of Goldmember, with no other side-effects other than Alicia's unfortunate tendency to yell, every so often: "Welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seamen." Hehehehe. Anyway, the short and short of it is, the gorgeous trio were at the cinema. Alicia was waving her 'PJ for best director!' flag. It never hurt to be too prepared for the Oscars, even if you were stuck in Middle Earth and had no conception of what time it was in the real Earth any more. After the credits screened (complete with 'tripod' joke reprise, featuring Britney Spears) Alicia and Elle began the slow process of hiding from irate cinema-goers. (The 'accidentally throwing my popcorn behind me in a funny moment' joke had not been well received.) After dragging Morgana away from Dr Evil ("Really? I would never have got the whole overused hollowed out volcano lair, thanks for all your how-to-succeed-as-an-evil-genius tips, Dr Evil.") and Elle away from Mini-Me ("Aaaaaaaaaaaaaww, you're so cuuuuuuuuuuuute! Yes you are! Ow! My finger..") they were ready for a quick trip to Casualty. "Oooooow! Little ratfinkbastardpratcutelilbugger BIT my FINGER off! No-one has only nine fingers!" she wailed. Alicia and Morgana exchanged glances. "You haven't-" they began in unison, to be cut off by a scathing glare from Elle. "Anyway, where's George Clooney gone? I thought he lived in LA-LA land.." She trailed of pathetically. "No? Someone needs to start telling me things around here!" She placed her pinky to the corner of her mouth. Morgana and Alicia looked worriedly at each other. "We reeeeeally need to get back to Middle Earth." whispered Alicia meaningfully. Morgana nodded. She slunk out of the room, perfecting her 'evil maniac' walk, and returned a few minutes later. "The only slight hitch in the plan would be that Lord Of The Rings was filmed in New Zealand. And we're not there." She added. Alicia saw the problem. "Hmmmmm, oh well, there's no reason why Dr Evil's time machine shouldn't somehow transport us to Middle Earth," she mused. "I mean, it's completely implausible, and would have saved everyone reading this chapter, but it will help us in our ongoing quest to cross-pollinate films.." Morgana nodded. "Okay, let's go for it. It's worth a try." She ran over to the time machine which coincidentally happened to be in close proximity, switched it on, and grabbed Alicia and Elle's (albeit nine-fingered) hands. They ran as one up the ramp, and struck the suitably stupid obligatory poses required when travelling by swirly time machine. There was a blinding flash of light..
Disclaimer: The characters and places featured within are not ours. Except Alicia, Elle and Morgan. Sadly, neither is Austin Powers or the jokes featured therein. But then that's us in a nutshell. No, this is us in a nutshell: 'Help, we're in a nutshell! How did we get here?..."
After extracting Morgana from her predicament, the intrepid trio set out to escape the world of Austin Powers, Alicia trying to grab any sort of souvenir she could, Morgana giving not-so-subtle hints by the way she walked that she would kill anyone who ever mentioned this again, and Elle occasionally darting out into various confrontations and intimate moments to ask for directions. At one point, Elle bumped into Austin Powers himself. "Oh, um, hi, emmm, which way to the end of the film, please?" "Moley moley mooooole! Take a left turn at Dr Evil's secret underwater base, baby! Moooo-" However, Alicia had heard the dulcet (coughcoughcough) tones of Mr Powers, and, forgetting for a moment that she hadn't seen Goldmember, popped out from their state of increased speed just long enough to say: "Hey, Scotty. WHOOOOW!" Chuckling under her breath, she was grabbed on the ellbogen by Elle, who darted back into the strange time/space continuum type thing they were currently inhabiting. Eventually, they made it to the end of the film, and were sitting in the cinema at the premiere of Goldmember, with no other side-effects other than Alicia's unfortunate tendency to yell, every so often: "Welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seamen." Hehehehe. Anyway, the short and short of it is, the gorgeous trio were at the cinema. Alicia was waving her 'PJ for best director!' flag. It never hurt to be too prepared for the Oscars, even if you were stuck in Middle Earth and had no conception of what time it was in the real Earth any more. After the credits screened (complete with 'tripod' joke reprise, featuring Britney Spears) Alicia and Elle began the slow process of hiding from irate cinema-goers. (The 'accidentally throwing my popcorn behind me in a funny moment' joke had not been well received.) After dragging Morgana away from Dr Evil ("Really? I would never have got the whole overused hollowed out volcano lair, thanks for all your how-to-succeed-as-an-evil-genius tips, Dr Evil.") and Elle away from Mini-Me ("Aaaaaaaaaaaaaww, you're so cuuuuuuuuuuuute! Yes you are! Ow! My finger..") they were ready for a quick trip to Casualty. "Oooooow! Little ratfinkbastardpratcutelilbugger BIT my FINGER off! No-one has only nine fingers!" she wailed. Alicia and Morgana exchanged glances. "You haven't-" they began in unison, to be cut off by a scathing glare from Elle. "Anyway, where's George Clooney gone? I thought he lived in LA-LA land.." She trailed of pathetically. "No? Someone needs to start telling me things around here!" She placed her pinky to the corner of her mouth. Morgana and Alicia looked worriedly at each other. "We reeeeeally need to get back to Middle Earth." whispered Alicia meaningfully. Morgana nodded. She slunk out of the room, perfecting her 'evil maniac' walk, and returned a few minutes later. "The only slight hitch in the plan would be that Lord Of The Rings was filmed in New Zealand. And we're not there." She added. Alicia saw the problem. "Hmmmmm, oh well, there's no reason why Dr Evil's time machine shouldn't somehow transport us to Middle Earth," she mused. "I mean, it's completely implausible, and would have saved everyone reading this chapter, but it will help us in our ongoing quest to cross-pollinate films.." Morgana nodded. "Okay, let's go for it. It's worth a try." She ran over to the time machine which coincidentally happened to be in close proximity, switched it on, and grabbed Alicia and Elle's (albeit nine-fingered) hands. They ran as one up the ramp, and struck the suitably stupid obligatory poses required when travelling by swirly time machine. There was a blinding flash of light..
