~Memories~

By Ola

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A/N~ Lan's first mistake. (it's hard to have two life stories =). Thanks so much for all of you who reviewed.-saphie (lol. *grins* Thanks, but I don't think I would qualify as a dude =), gus, banadar, sweetie pie, red wulf, laura, polly, fyredragon, aaria, cat, kelly. See! I got all of you! =) And I am really sorry about not updating during the middle of the week, like I promised I would. Blame physics for that. =) I'll try to do that this week (meaning two chapters in one week).

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Part 9~

If she had thought the second day was bad, she hadn't seen the third. Because of the early morning watch, it had been extra long. When she had woken up she had first wondered whether the horses of her dreams hadn't all trampled her. Her second thought was how she would manage to begin moving, because that was the hardest part. Especially since it was around three in the morning and as dark as in a cellar, that her eyes were full of sleep, that the air was nippy, and that all the pain from the two previous days had pilled itself on her. For a brief moment, she wondered how it would be in the evening, but she preferred not to dwell on that too much. She had first to get through this day. Again, someone tugged her sleeve and called her name.

"I'm awake." She crawled out from under her blanket, unable to suppress a shiver, and sat next to the fire, with Sindarin on the other side.

"Hey, you're still awake, Lan?" he asked after a while, seeing her eyes close.

"Of course!" which wasn't a complete lie.

"Sindarin. That's a weird name. Does it mean anything?" She managed between two yawns.

"Yea, actually it does. It's the name of a mythical tribe of elves.* "

"Ummm…it's like being called Rethwelan?" she joked.

"Something like that," he smiled.

"Got any brother or sister?"

"Two brothers. I'm the youngest. You?"

"Older brother and sister, then younger sister and two little brothers."

"Are you close to any of them?"

"Yea, to the two youngest ones. The one in the middle is too stuck up for her own good. My older brother is off doing his own things mostly, and my oldest sister is married. I don't see her much anymore. You? How much older are they?"

"Ten and eleven years difference. I kind of grew up as a single child," again, that something strange in his voice. "Any reason you signed up for the guard?" he added.

Shit! I can't be Lan Moss with all those brothers and sisters! Shit shit shit! I completely forgot about the fire cover story and Buggle being my so called cousin. Damn it! I hope he doesn't tell anyone about our little campfire chat.

"I'd prefer not to talk about it," she finally said, unable to come up with another good story.

Sindarin shrugged. "Do you think they'll make us walk so much every day? When are we supposed to begin real training?"

"Don't know. But if it continues at this rate, I'll turn into a pack horse instead of a guard."

After this little introductory joke, they half-earnestly began whining about every kind of pain they could imagine, trying hard not to laugh too hard. But it felt good. When the sun peaked behind the horizon, they were ready to go, both in a good mood, at least for a while. Later that day, they remembered their long list of half made up complains, and realized that they really weren't all that far fetched. If someone would have asked Lanea at that moment in what direction she was heading or what day it was, she wouldn't have been able to answer. She didn't know and she didn't care. Nothing mattered except the ground under her feet and the edge of the pack of whoever was in front of her.

When they made camp at the edge of a clearing, she used the last dredge of her energy to help Sindarin set up their tarp, and then she simply fell onto her sleeping mat, and didn't move. She was aware of the noises around her and unconsciously defined them as people speaking, dropping stuff, scrapping wooden spoons on wooden bowls…

"Eat"

…and the smell of something warm right next to her face.

"Did the captain ask you to bring it to me?" she mumbled, a side of her face pressed into the ground.

"No. but you're sharing the watch with me and I don't want you to fall asleep. It would get quite boring then. We have to finish our list of whinings. I bet you'll have lots of new ones to add. Eat." She envied the fact that he had enough strength left to grin.

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"Walking and carrying your necessities. Basic, but important, especially if ya have to get somewhere far and fast on your own two feet. 'll teach ya only to bring what ya need. Ya're no girlies who need five dresses a day, hats, shoes, mirrors…Now, ya'll get to use the weapons ya were given. Pair up with someone of your approximate built…if possible," the captain added after a glance at this group, but went right on, "ya'll practice with the sword first. There are two general techniques when fighting with the sword. If ya're little and fast, you use the strike and sprint method, when ya're kind of slow and heavy, ya then use the hack with all ya got method. If ya don't fall into one or the other of those categories, ya…" and he kept going along those lines for quite a while. Lanea wondered, not for the first time, why he didn't turn blue from lack of oxygen. As for his comment about "girlies," she didn't pay any attention to them anymore. Better not let anyone know it irritated her so much, or they would begin asking questions. And she definitely didn't need questions.

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She wasn't good at swordsmanship. That was the least that could be said. In the captain's words, she thought "like a fly, and a wingless one at that." She was small, and she wasn't slow, but the sword seemed unnatural in her hand. She couldn't get used to it, and always got into the positions for hand combat, which was a mistake when fighting against Sindarin, the only person anywhere near her own stature. He was good. Very good. Jeez, it's as if he was born with a blade. I pity his mother, whoever she is. He bested her every time and had her down in a matter of a minute or two. Take a step, engage the blade, parry, quarter circle, riposte, ahh! Damn! The sword was quite heavy, and her muscles weren't used to making such movements. When Sindarin went at her, she had trouble seeing the movements of his blade, and she couldn't remember what kind of circle to do for a parry. Semi circle, quarter circle, eight of a circle, over the top, under… she didn't have time to think about those things if she wanted to keep her sword in her hand. There's simply no time to learn properly! How is it supposed to become an instinct if I don't even know what I'm doing? Jeez. Another bout, another try at parrying his attacks anyway that seemed good enough to keep her in the game a minute longer. Time. That's what this is all about. Give yourself a bit more time… to try to riposte… to live…Not this time. She lost again.

I feel so stupid. How am I supposed to act like a guy when every little boy had been playing at "let's fight and kill ourselves, then resuscitate and do it all over again" since he could walk, while the first time I've actually used a sword was exactly two days ago? Sigh. I'm a woman! I'm strong! I can do it! I only have to work a little harder, that's it…

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*From J.R.R.Tolkien's the lord of the rings