A/N 1: As in the previous chapters – ideas for fic and character development, questions, plotbunnies, suggestions, flames, character pictures, corrections, additions, comments, and everything in between can be mailed to hack_heaven@usa.net

A/N 2: Super-speed? Maybe...but in that case it's y'all's fault. The characters kinda took on a life of their own, and now they won't let me go...;)

Italics indicates thoughts

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Chapter Twenty-One: A Time of Realizations

* * *

Jhonen woke up with every intention of telling the others the truth about Blade's charade. He'd figured that he would talk to one or two at a time, carefully alerting everyone without making Blade suspicious. He'd planned it all, down to even the smallest detail.

He really had.

At least until man's natural fascination with danger had reared its ugly face.

Now that he actually knew the truth, he found himself unable to look away. The more he watched, the more he saw Blade's real identity shine through. Sure, the man looked like Ryan, but his behavior...it was so obvious once Jhonen knew what had happened.

His more rational side wanted him to warn the others, but for some reason, Jhonen found that he couldn't. Not yet, anyway. As Erik had said – this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to gain some insight into the man that had caused Ryan so much trouble.

Curiosity might have killed the cat, but Jhonen was neither four-legged nor furry. He *was* curious, though, and found himself watching Blade with an almost morbid fascination.

At first it had been a few, stolen glances to satisfy his curiosity. Then, when they had left the motel and continued towards Chicago, Jhonen had deliberately picked the same car as Blade. He'd told himself that it was because he wanted to keep an eye on their enemy, but deep down, he knew that it was a lie.

It was fascination. Pure and simple fascination. Like a child attracted to the danger of a fire, although it knew the risk of getting burned.

It was the small things that caught Jhonen's attention – the coldness in the normally warm and caring eyes. The way Blade was constantly aware of the exact location of each and every one of the Guardians. How he always made sure to stand in such a way that no one would be able to sneak up on him.

Jhonen had thought that the weird fascination would pass rather quickly. But as the team found a small camping ground a few hours away from Chicago, and decided to stop early and get their strength back, Jhonen found that his curiosity was stronger than ever.

But what he failed to realize was that the fire was far from blind, and that Blade was already making plans of his own.

* * *

Back with the Shadow Alliance, Ryan had had a less pleasant morning.

He'd woken up covered in sweat, and only through sheer willpower had he managed to stop the scream that fought to get out. It took him a long moment to realize where he was, and even longer to realize that it had been a dream.

Or at least he hoped it was a dream.

It must have been. It wasn't real. Blade isn't stupid – he wouldn't run that risk.

Ryan closed his eyes and tried to slow down the frantic beating of his heart. A particularly horrifying part of the nightmare returned and Ryan clenched his fists tightly, hoping that the pain would make him forget what he'd seen.

A dream. A nightmare. Not real. Not real, not real notrealnotreal...

Afraid to go back to sleep, Ryan got out of bed and slumped down in a chair. Out in the horizon the first, faint light of dawn had yet to appear, and Ryan sighed as he prepared to wait for morning.

Behind him, in the comfortable king size bed, Jordane smirked and went back to sleep.

* * *

"'Morning, boss. Sleep well?" Hal asked sweetly as Ryan sat down at the breakfast table. She and Laetitia were the only ones to be up this early. The rest of the Shadow Alliance preferred to sleep in, living by the motto that you should sleep when you could, because who knew when you'd get the chance again.

Ryan almost choked on his coffee, and Hal sent him a concerned look.

"Is it too hot?" she asked worried.

"No...no. I'm just a bit tired, that's all," Ryan said. And quite frankly, he was – he'd gotten all of six hours of sleep, most of which had been spend trapped in a nightmare.

"Oh," Hal said and took a sip of her own, very strong, coffee.

Get a grip on yourself, Cretes, Ryan mentally berated himself. It was an innocent question; nothing more. Pull yourself together before you blow your cover, damnit!

The faint sound of footsteps interrupted Ryan's thoughts, and Laetitia entered the room, looking way too energetic for eight a.m.

"Oh, there you are," she said as she saw Ryan. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Leave?" Ryan asked suspiciously. "Where are we going?"

Laetitia frowned.

"Target practice, of course. According to the map there's a shooting range nearby, and I could use the practice," she explained and raised an eyebrow. "Are you coming or not?"

Ryan forced himself to get out of the chair. He knew how to use a gun, but he did not want to spend hours alone with Laetitia, especially not since he was nowhere near Laetitia's and Blade's level.

Unfortunately, he didn't have a choice, and they all knew it.

He grabbed Blade's trenchcoat and checked that the guns where still hanging in their holsters, then followed Laetitia out of the door.

He had a long day ahead of him.

* * *

"Ryan? Could I talk to you for a moment?" Jhonen asked with forced casualness.

It was evening, shortly after dinner, and the team had split up in the different rooms to play cards or read or whatever they did to relax. As Jhonen had suspected he would, Blade had retreated to the small kitchen to get the chance to be alone.

This gave Jhonen the perfect opportunity to talk to Blade without people asking unnecessary questions, and he didn't intend to waste it.

Blade looked at Jhonen and smiled slightly.

"Of course. Why don't we take a walk, then?" he suggested, and Jhonen nodded.

Showtime.

* * *

Suzuka watched carefully through the windows as Blade and Jhonen walked slowly down the walkway, until they disappeared behind a small building. She waited for a moment, then headed for the bedroom that the boys shared. She knew that Kyle would be alone – Ben was playing cards with the other girls, and the other two males on the team would hopefully stay outside for a little while longer.

Suzuka entered the room and shut the door behind her.

"Something is wrong," she said, not bothering with any small talk. "I don't know what, but something is definitely not right."

Kyle looked up from a dog-eared paperback and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"Ryan. He doesn't act like himself," Suzuka clarified. "His behavior, his fighting-style...don't tell me you haven't noticed."

Kyle closed the book and motioned for Suzuka to sit down.

"Oh, I have noticed it, all right, but I just thought it was my imagination. But since you've notice it, too..."

Suzuka sat down and shook her head.

"I don't know why, but he's behaved strangely since his run-in with Blade. It's like...he isn't himself."

Kyle frowned slightly.

"You know, there *could* be a logical explanation for his strange behavior. I mean, he almost died that night...something like that changes people," he explained.

Suzuka snorted.

"Don't tell me you believe that," she said.

Kyle sighed.

"I don't," he admitted.

Suzuka stood up and started to pace. After a moment she stopped and faced Kyle again.

"You've know him for longer than I have. What do you suggest we do?" she asked.

Kyle shook his head.

"I don't know. We'll watch him carefully for a start, I guess. Then we can decide on a course of action later."

Suzuka nodded.

"Got it," she said and left the room.

Kyle watched her retreating back for a long moment, then put away the book. He wouldn't be able to focus on it, anyway.

* * *

Jhonen followed Blade outside, and wasn't surprised to find that the place Blade chose to stop was a place where they couldn't be seen from the cabin they'd rented for the night.

Blade turned around and sent Jhonen a look of supreme confidence. Jhonen frowned mentally. For some reason it bothered him to see Blade act so sure around them – it was as if the man had long ago decided that they would never be a threat to someone like him, and quite frankly Jhonen didn't like to be dismissed like that.

"I know who you are," he said quietly.

Blade raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" he asked amused, and for a short moment Jhonen imagined that he'd seen a flicker of doubt in Blade's eyes. Then the moment passed, and the confident facade was back up.

"Yes...*Blade*."

If Jhonen had ever doubted Erik's theory, every single, unvoiced doubt disappeared the moment those words left his mouth.

The change from Ryan to Blade was immediate and unmistakable. The small glints of Blade that Jhonen had seen during the day were nothing compared to what he faced now. Blue eyes turned ice-cold, the stance changed from alert to downright threatening, and one hand moved to rest on the hips, no doubt only inches from a concealed weapon of some kind.

But the biggest change was the faint Ryan-like smile that Blade had forced himself to wear all day. The faint smile that suddenly turned into a ruthless, arrogant smirk.

Fuck... Jhonen thought, and at that moment he knew that every single, chilling rumor he'd heard about Blade Heron was true.

"Isn't it a bit foolish of you to confront me alone? I could wipe your mind of any memory of this, and no one would ever suspect anything," Blade remarked in a deceptively soft voice.

"How do you know I haven't already told everyone?" Jhonen challenged.

Blade smirked.

"If you had, you wouldn't ask me that question. Don't try to fool me. I'm almost a decade older than you, *kid*, and that trick was old even when I was your age."

Jhonen looked away, embarrassed that his lie had been spotted so easily, and Blade sent him a long, measuring look.

"Are you going to tell me exactly why you haven't told the truth to your wonderful teammates yet?" he asked, turning the phrase 'wonderful teammates' into a sneer.

"No," Jhonen replied with as much confidence as he could muster.

Blade sent him another measuring look, and this time Jhonen was sure that he saw a spark of interest in the cold, blue eyes.

"Then at least tell me...how *did* you figure out the truth?" Blade asked with deliberate casualness.

Jhonen didn't reply, and Blade looked at him thoughtfully.

"Not very cooperative, are you? Well, since you're so reluctant to tell me, my guess is that those spirit-voices in your head dropped a hint or two," he said slowly, keeping an eye on Jhonen to check his reaction.

Jhonen looked away for the briefest of seconds, and Blade smirked.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Jhonen raised his head defiantly, angry that he'd inadvertently given away important information.

"You know a lot about me," he remarked, almost challenging.

"I know a lot about all of you," Blade replied with carefully practiced indifference.

"'Know your enemy' and all that?" Jhonen asked.

Blade raised an eyebrow.

"Who says we're enemies? My quarrel is with Ryan...you were just unfortunate enough to end up on the wrong side," he said and shrugged.

Jhonen sent him a skeptical look.

"So you're saying that we're not enemies? I know your reputation, and I don't believe you. You'd kill me in a heartbeat if you got the chance."

Blade smirked.

"Smart kid. But you're wrong about one thing – I might have a reputation for random kills, but I don't kill other mutants without a reason."

The offhanded way he said it sent a shiver down Jhonen's spine, but it was nothing compared to the implications that hung heavy in the air.

"But you would kill a human without a reason, is that what you're saying?" he accused.

"Yes," Blade replied truthfully. "I would."

"That's sick!" Jhonen said disgusted.

"Is it?" Blade replied. "If you haven't noticed yet, those same humans are trying to capture us and send us to the camps. And in case you didn't know, they don't plan to let us out again – ever. They might call it 'for the greater good', but it's murder...just on a larger scale."

"So because they do it, you have the right to do it as well? You're no better than them," Jhonen spat out, but regretted the words as he saw the barely controlled fury in Blade's eyes.

For a moment Jhonen thought that Blade would actually kill him, potential witnesses be damned. Then the fury slowly disappeared, and Jhonen took a relieved breath.

"You can protect the humans all you want, but the truth is that they're not worth it. They've had their chance, and they blew it," Blade stated ruthlessly.

"Really?" Jhonen demanded. "You sound damn sure of something you know nothing about."

"*I* know nothing about it?" Blade repeated slowly. "Take a long look around. Wars, persecution, famine, pollution, genocide, torture – all thanks to them. Survival of the fittest, remember? I'm just following the rules they lay down."

"Not all of them are bad," Jhonen objected.

Blade snorted.

"How old were you during the Riots?" he asked. "Eight? Nine? You're nowhere near old enough to remember what happened."

"I've read about it," Jhonen defended himself. "The FoH launched an all-out attack on-"

"You've *read* about it?" Blade mocked. "And I'm sure that those books told you exactly what happened. Tell me, where there any pictures of innocent mutant infants, killed simply because they looked differently? Or maybe defenseless mutant teenagers, begging for help, but finding no mercy?"

Jhonen didn't answer and Blade continued ruthlessly.

"You looked human, and your mutation hadn't manifested itself yet. You were never a target. You've never been hunted like some animal because of your goddamn genes," Blade growled.

"They didn't-"

"They had their chance, and they fucked up," Blade interrupted icily. "They've fucked up from the moment they climbed down from the trees and started to walk on two legs. *We* are the future. This world belongs to us, not a bunch of humans who get left behind when the rest of us evolved."

"They're - they're not that bad," Jhonen tried to object.

Blade snorted.

"Take a long look around, boy. We didn't start this war – they did. It's them or us, and personally, I prefer to see them go."

"It doesn't have to be like that," Jhonen disagreed. "We can show them that they have no reason to fear us, we can-"

"Wake up, damnit!" Blade growled. "Forget what Ryan told you and take a look around. It's too late. It's too fucking late to make them change their minds, and it's too fucking late to prevent a war. Ryan can preach about co-existence as much as he wants, but I intend to give my team the best possible chances to survive."

"Even if you have to kill a hundred people to do so?" Jhonen demanded, but already knew the answer.

"Yes."

Jhonen looked away. This wasn't the way it should have gone. He'd planned to find out a few things about Blade, and then tell the others the truth. It should have been easy. Blade was supposed to be an insane killer...he wasn't supposed to care about others. He wasn't supposed to make sense. He wasn't supposed to voice the things that Jhonen had sometimes wondered about in the darkest reaches of his mind.

"I'm..." Jhonen started but trailed off.

"You're a smart guy, Jhonen," Blade said. "You know where things are heading. Don't waste your life on a lost cause."

"It's not a lost cause," Jhonen objected, more out of duty than of conviction.

"You don't have to stay with them. We always have room for one more," Blade continued quietly.

"I'm...I'm going to bed now," Jhonen stammered and headed back inside.

Blade watched his retreating back and smirked.

Gotcha.

* * *

Coming up: Things are closing in as both teams arrive in Chicago. Meanwhile, Blade plans to leave, and Jhonen has to make another choice – and just how much do the rest of the Guardians suspect...?