DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone who's not a leprechaun, except for Carlos. I own Carlos.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Do you want Abstinence to get a complex because you people like Coincidence better? A leprechaun with a complex is not a pretty thing, so review!
Abstinence's Note: Muahahahahahahaha.
SUMMARY: Another mysterious incident offers insight into Faith's psyche.
Five-year-old Faith Winters was sitting on swing on the playground, swinging happily back and fourth. Then the swing broke, and she fell onto the ground. Well used to such abuse from inanimate objects, Faith simply frowned at the swing.
"Fai-aaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiith!" a somewhat familiar voice called. Faith looked around, her eyes shifting nervously back and forth. Last time, she had spent three days in the bathroom before someone untied her, with nothing to eat or drink but the egg nog she licked off her face.
"Hi Abstinence," Faith said loudly. Several other mothers at the playground moved their children further away from Faith.
"What's Abstinence?" one of the little boys asked.
"Why, little Johnny, I'm shocked," his mother replied, glaring at Faith.
"What do you want this time, Abstinence?" Faith questioned, putting her little hands on her little hips.
"Faaaiiiiith," Abstinence said, finally hitting the right tone of hypnotism. "I want you to battle the big midget in Indian wrestling while…"
Faith interrupted. "What big midget?" she asked.
"…while scratching your armpit with a pineapple." Abstinence looked pointedly toward a big midget who had magically appeared close to Faith. The big midget tossed Faith a pineapple. She caught it.
"Oh," she said. "That big midget."
"Wrestle the big midget," Abstinence said urgently. Faith did as she was told, frantically rubbing her underarm with the pineapple as she and the midget squared off.
Faith would battle that big midget for the rest of her life.
"Muahahahaha," said Abstinence.
"Hehehehehe," giggled the big midget.
TBC (assuming you folks actually review and I don't have to spend my time in "family" counseling with the leprechaun because of her inferiority complex.)…
I am the Fruitcake.
