DISCLAIMER: I own Abstinence and Coincidence and Carlos, no one else.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry it's been so, so long, people. The Fruitcake has been a
little busy with the thwackage.com template, which can be viewed through the link in my profile. If you're in the Alliance, expect a
newsletter soon, and I'll be adding a leprechaun page to the thwackage site
shortly. Also, if you have any nominations for the first bi-annual THWACK
awards of crazy stories, parodies, funny websites, or *the vaulted* THWACK
award for excellence in serious fic, email nominations to
FruitcakeHQ@yahoo.com. In the meantime, here's a little more craziness for
you people, but if you want regular updates, I better see some reviews.

Abstinence: A Leprechaun Story: Chapter Three

Six year old Faith Winters was finally happy. Her Mommy was in a very
good mood, and she'd just bought Faith a brand new dress. Faith was sitting
on a bench eating chocolate ice cream, happy that she finally had a good
life.

"Faiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith," came a mint green tinged, hypnotic voice.

Faith looked around, her little eyes wary.

Abstinence sighed. She was very sorry to have to do this, but rules were
rules, and Faith had to learn that she couldn't trust anyone, not even her
family.

"What do you want?" Faith whispered.

"Who are you talking to, Faithie?" her mother asked.

"Nobody," Faith said, glaring at the leprechaun.

"Faaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith," Abstinence sang. "I need you to
do something for me."

"What?" Faith whispered, earning another strange look from her mother.

"I need you to streak across the parking lot singing 'All by Myself' and
spewing chocolate ice cream from your mouth like a fountain."

Faith looked warily at her mother, who had just pulled a vat of whiskey
out of her purse. Maybe today wasn't going to be such a good day after all.

"Faiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith," Abstinence said urgently.
"Streak, sing, fountain!" Faith had no choice.

She pulled off her new dress and put most of the ice cream in her mouth.
She ran across the parking lot, her head tilted back, completely naked, a
very controlled stream of chocolate ice cream soaring from her mouth in an
elegant arc. When she'd expelled all of the ice cream in her mouth, Faith
started singing.

"All by myse-e-e-e-elf
Don't wanna be all by myself
Anymore."

By this time everyone in the parking lot was staring at her. She took
the last bite of ice cream, and spinning helplessly in circles, started
making another chocolate fountain.

A young boy and his mother walked by, and the boy stopped and stared at
Faith. Then, he threw a penny at her.

Oh no, Abstinence thought, that can't be good.

TBC… if you REVIEW!!!! Ever wonder why Faith is the way she is… all will be
explained in time. Muahahahahahahahahahaha