DISCLAIMER: I own Abstinence and
Coincidence and Carlos, no one else.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry it's been
so, so long, people. The Fruitcake has been a
little busy with the
thwackage.com template, which can be viewed through the link in my profile.
If you're in the Alliance, expect a
newsletter soon, and I'll be
adding a leprechaun page to the thwackage site
shortly. Also, if you
have any nominations for the first bi-annual THWACK
awards of crazy stories,
parodies, funny websites, or *the vaulted* THWACK
award for excellence in serious
fic, email nominations to
FruitcakeHQ@yahoo.com. In
the meantime, here's a little more craziness for
you people, but if you want
regular updates, I better see some reviews.
Abstinence: A Leprechaun Story:
Chapter Three
Six year old Faith
Winters was finally happy. Her Mommy was in a very
good mood, and she'd just
bought Faith a brand new dress. Faith was sitting
on a bench eating chocolate ice
cream, happy that she finally had a good
life.
"Faiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith," came a mint green tinged,
hypnotic voice.
Faith looked
around, her little eyes wary.
Abstinence sighed.
She was very sorry to have to do this, but rules were
rules, and Faith had to learn
that she couldn't trust anyone, not even her
family.
"What do you
want?" Faith whispered.
"Who are you
talking to, Faithie?" her mother asked.
"Nobody," Faith said, glaring at the leprechaun.
"Faaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith," Abstinence
sang. "I need you to
do something for me."
"What?"
Faith whispered, earning another strange look from her mother.
"I need you
to streak across the parking lot singing 'All by Myself'
and
spewing chocolate ice cream
from your mouth like a fountain."
Faith looked
warily at her mother, who had just pulled a vat of whiskey
out of her purse. Maybe
today wasn't going to be such a good day after all.
"Faiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith," Abstinence said
urgently.
"Streak,
sing, fountain!" Faith had no choice.
She pulled off her
new dress and put most of the ice cream in her mouth.
She ran across the parking lot,
her head tilted back, completely naked, a
very controlled stream of chocolate ice cream soaring from her mouth in an
elegant arc. When she'd expelled all of the ice cream in her mouth,
Faith
started singing.
"All by myse-e-e-e-elf
Don't wanna be all by myself
Anymore."
By this time
everyone in the parking lot was staring at her. She took
the last bite of ice cream, and
spinning helplessly in circles, started
making another chocolate
fountain.
A young boy and
his mother walked by, and the boy stopped and stared at
Faith. Then, he threw a
penny at her.
Oh no, Abstinence
thought, that can't be good.
TBC… if you REVIEW!!!!
Ever wonder why Faith is the way she is… all will be
explained in time. Muahahahahahahahahahaha
