A/N 1: As in the previous chapters – ideas for fic and character development, questions, plotbunnies, suggestions, flames, character pictures, corrections, additions, comments, and everything in between can be mailed to hack_heaven@usa.net

A/N 2: The next chapter probably won't be posted until Saturday or Sunday - I have three written finals this week, and I actually have to study for two of them...:P

Italics indicates thoughts/telepathy

[...] Indicates dreams

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Chapter Thirty-Five: Nightmares Revisited

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Ryan heard the door shut as Diana and the others left the room. Kyle, too, had left, even though he slept in that very room. Whether it was because of temporary insomnia or politeness, Ryan wasn't sure. Probably a bit of both.

His eyes still burned from his tears - a constant, stinging pain that added a physical dimension to the emotional torment the nightmare had brought. A part of him wanted to reach out for Diana, to find comfort in her support and trust in him, but the other - stronger - part of him responded only with disgust. She was too young, too innocent, to have to carry the burden of his guilt. He was the one who'd messed up; it wasn't fair that she should be the one to feel the consequences.

Ryan closed his eyes. He could still see the nightmare, still feel the fear that the violent images had caused. And the worst thing was that he knew it wasn't an unlikely scenario. Suzuka had quite a temper, and she often ignored her common sense when she was angry. And Blade...Ryan didn't have any doubts that Blade would kill Suzuka in a heartbeat.

His fear was slowly replaced with anger as he thought about Suzuka's situation. Anger towards himself, anger towards the Shadow Alliance, but most of all anger towards Blade, who'd tormented Ryan for years and furthermore found his guilt and agony extremely amusing.

And beneath the anger Ryan found something he hadn't felt in a long time - the need for revenge. Revenge against the person who'd caused him and his team so many problems, the revenge he had every right to take.

It was wrong; Ryan realized that much. His sudden, burning need for revenge wasn't something he was particular proud of, but it couldn't be denied. His conscience tried to object, but Ryan was too angry, too determined to listen.

He reached out and quickly found what he searched for - he was very familiar with Blade's cold, eerie presence, and the fact that they were in the same town only made things easier. Ryan carefully reached out with his thoughts to test the mental shields, and noted with a hint of satisfaction that Blade's shields were significantly weakened by sleep.

He brushed the surface, looking for something to use against his enemy. He wouldn't be able to go any deeper without being discovered, but he knew that sleep often brought otherwise dormant memories to the surface.

Fragments of a conversation with Nike - Ryan couldn't make out the words, but something about the memory sent a shiver down his spine. Jhonen, talking to Suzuka, neither aware that they were being watched - again Blade's shields were too strong to allow details to come through, but it was impossible to miss Suzuka's anger towards Jhonen.

Ryan pushed the memories aside and continued his search. Fragments of other memories surfaced, but none of them were something Ryan wanted to dwell on. He looked deeper and finally found what he was looking for; the memories he had known would be there. Dark, painful, terrifying; memories of a time Ryan himself only had a vague recollection of. He continued, looking for fear. Pure, merciless terror, fear in its rawest shape. It was there; it had to be. Blade had been seventeen at that time, hadn't he? He would have seen - and remembered - far more that Ryan had.

And suddenly, with an unexpectedness that caught Ryan by surprise, a memory surfaced - detailed, chilling, dark, and terrifying in its clarity.

He felt the memory pull him along, and for a second he almost panicked, afraid that he wouldn't be able to get loose. An endless moment passed, and then Ryan was finally able to tear himself away from the memory and retreat to the safety of his own mind.

He smiled faintly. He was safe from the memories...Blade would not be nearly as lucky.

[The ground shook below his feet as another explosion went off nearby. The air was filled with dust, smoke, and debris; a chaotic mess hidden in the darkness, only illuminated by the fires outside. His lungs burned with each breath, the dust threatening to choke him as he fought to get outside. A drop of sweat and dirt rolled down his face, into the bleeding cut on his cheek. He expected to feel a searing pain from the salt in the wound, but his body had been pushed too far, was too exhausted to feel pain.

He felt the rough metal door beneath his hands, and he stumbled into the night. Another breath, and he felt the scorching, thick smoke from a burning car at the entrance to the alley. Out on the main road, a group of humans in FoH uniforms hurried by, carrying the bloody, disfigured body of a furry mutant. The glow from the fires gave their uniforms an almost blood-red color, and he stumbled to the end of the alley and into a corner, away from the chaotic madness of the city.

Another explosion went off, and the earth beneath his feet shook again. He fell to the ground, too exhausted to remain on his feet. More smoke, more dust; each breath bringing both life and death as the oxygen was joined by the thick, flour-like cloud of debris that filled his throat. He coughed, but his throat was already too dry, too raspy, to get rid of the fine powder. The world around him started to spin as the lack of oxygen slowly, ever so slowly, took away his strength, and he fought to keep his eyes open, but found that he couldn't. And maybe this was death, but he was too tired, too exhausted, and too miserable to care about anything but painless oblivion. The ground rumbled again, this time low and persistent as the large building next to him caved in with a morbid gracefulness. A brick fell down and splintered on the ground next to him-]

-And hundreds of miles away, in a small hotel room in Chicago, Blade sat up with a strangled gasp. He instinctively reached up to touch his cheek, but felt only the thin scar. He took a deep breath and tried to relax - there was no blood and no bruises. It hadn't been real. It was a memory - nothing more, nothing less. A memory. Not real.

There was a slight movement next to him as Jordane sat up, torn out of her peaceful sleep by his reaction to the nightmare.

"Blade? Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

"Go back to sleep, Jordane," Blade whispered hoarsely, without looking at her. He could still feel the fine powder cling to his throat, feel the searing heat with each breath, even across the nine years that had passed since that night.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong," Jordane replied and shook her head. She put a hand on his shoulder, and her eyes widened slightly.

"You're trembling," she whispered. "Blade? What happened?"

"Go back to sleep," Blade repeated, this time colder, harder, and Jordane was suddenly reminded of the man she'd first met that night nearly four years ago.

"Blade..." she tried again and pointedly ignored the part of her that kept whispering that the wise thing to do would be to leave him alone, before he lost his temper.

"Do as I say!" he snapped, and Jordane's eyes widened, almost fearfully. This wasn't the man she was used to - this wasn't the man who'd saved her life and taken her under his wings. This was someone cold and terrifying, someone she'd only seen used against a few, unfortunate victims, all of whom had met a sudden, painful demise.

Blade shook his head and looked at her with eyes that were too old and too weary for someone who was only twenty-six.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and in his voice was a tired regret that only served to make Jordane even more worried. "I didn't mean to..."

He trailed off, and Jordane leaned against his chest and listened to his frantic heartbeat.

"What happened?" she repeated softly. "Talk to me - let me help you. You don't have to be strong all the time."

Blade kissed her on the top of her head, and Jordane could hear his heartbeat slow down until it reached its usual calm, steady beat.

"No need to worry about me, my Queen," he replied, and he was finally back to his old, confident self. "I'll be fine."

"Someday, I'll find out what's going on in that twisted head of yours," Jordane remarked lightly, and Blade smirked.

"Not tonight, Melee. Not tonight."

He lay down again, suddenly tired as the adrenaline-level in his blood rapidly decreased. Jordane snuggled up next to him with one arm sprawled lazily across his chest, and closed her eyes. It was a remarkably trusting gesture, and Blade knew that she was one of the few people in the world who knew his reputation, and still felt so safe in his company. But then again...he'd never really given her reason to fear him, had he?

Absently, he started to trace idle circles on her hips with his thumb, and she sighed contently. It still surprised him sometimes how responsive she was to even the simplest gestures of affection. Surprised and scared him. Her trust in him brought back protective instincts he didn't even know he had, and during the first couple of months he'd often found himself torn between his desire to protect her, and his common sense which told him to leave her before things got any further.

In the end common sense had lost. He'd kept Jordane with him, and there had yet to be a situation where he regretted that decision. Sure, it hadn't always been easy to take care of a teenage girl, but it had been worth the trouble. And although he was reluctant to admit it, it felt good to have someone who cared. Someone to watch his back. Someone he could trust completely, even with his life. And on a night like this, someone who was worried about him when he woke up, shaken to his very core by a nightmare.

The nightmare...

Blade frowned. There had been something about that nightmare, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Something...just the faintest hint of recognition at the edge of his awareness. The last traces of a presence - determined, angry, and...familiar. He knew that presence.

"Ryan!" he growled, furious, and the name echoed through his mind.

And even as Jordane opened her eyes and looked at him with obvious confusion, Ryan felt the hate, the fury, and the anger that followed Blade's discovery, and he felt a sudden fear as he realized what the consequences of his actions would be.

No!

And all to quickly, time had run out. They had to act, and they had to act fast.

Soundlessly, Ryan got out of bed and put on his clothes, deliberately choosing dark colors. To sneak inside the hotel would be risky, but it was their only option - in the best case, a direct attack would accomplish nothing. In the worst case scenario...he didn't want to think about that.

Ryan shook his head and considered the options. They'd have to sneak inside, which meant that he could only bring a few people with him. Someone with powers that could be used in battle. Kyle would be the obvious choice; Kyle, and...he paused. Prue, while powerful, wouldn't be able to use her powers for much in this particular situation. The same was the case with Diana. Deirdre, maybe? He frowned. He wasn't too happy about the thought of putting her in danger, but he didn't have much of a choice. Besides...Deirdre, like Kyle, needed very little sleep. With a little luck she would still be awake, which would make it easier to sneak out without being noticed by the others.

Ryan reached out with his powers, and felt the two sitting in the living room, talking quietly. He smiled faintly despite the graveness of the situation. For once it seemed that Lady Luck was on their side. Hopefully it would last - they would certainly need her help later.

He reached out with his powers to check that the rest of the team was asleep, and was relieved to find that it was the case. He hesitated as he felt Diana caught in a restless, drug-induced sleep. At the edge of her awareness he sensed the beginning of a nightmare, but dismissed it with a thought. Diana seemed to sense his presence, and unconsciously started to radiate waves of concern.

Hush, Ryan whispered gently. It's going to be okay, Diana. I promise.

The words seemed to calm Diana down, and Ryan withdrew from her mind with a relieved sigh. He stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind him, then continued into the living room. Kyle and Deirdre looked up in surprise, and Ryan could feel their concern for him quite clearly.

"Ryan...?" Kyle asked, but Ryan shook his head.

"We're leaving. Suzuka's in serious trouble."

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Coming up: Just what is it that Ryan knows? How far will Blade go to get even? And will the three Guardians actually be able to save their teammate? Tune in next time *he, he*