A/N 1: As in the previous chapters – ideas for fic and character development, questions, plotbunnies, suggestions, flames, character pictures, corrections, additions, comments, and everything in between can be mailed to hack_heaven@usa.net

Italics indicates thoughts/telepathy

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Chapter Forty-Six: New Day Dawning

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His head hurt.

His head hurt, his shoulder felt like it had been stabbed repeatedly with a syringe, and his body felt drained.

Despite - or maybe because - of this, Ben felt good. Well, not exactly good. Accomplished, maybe. Satisfied. Victorious?

Yes.

He'd always hated poison, maybe because he'd felt the effects on his own body. Felt it on himself, as pain and dizziness and cramps, rather than reading about the consequence in an academic book, with impersonal letters that had never known the burn of cyanide or snake-poison flowing through their veins.

He hated it, *feared it*, because a gunshot wound was easy, you could see the damage, but poison...with poison he never quite knew what he was getting into. He knew the results of a bullet through the shoulder, could mention every muscle and bone that would feel the cold steel, but poison...

He hated it, and even more than the poison, he hated those who could bring themselves to using it against others. It was sadistic. Sadistic, cruel, and inhuman.

And he'd defeated it.

Ryan would survive. He wasn't completely cured yet - Ben would need to treat the gunshot wound one last time, that much was certain - but his body was finally completely free of poison. It hadn't been easy, far from, and he'd probably worked harder than healthy was, he knew that. The moment he'd woken up, he had returned to Ryan's side to continue the healing process, and he could feel that strain on his body now. But it had been worth it, he knew that.

The fever was down, and Ryan was actually able to walk short distances without too much trouble, headaches and dizziness aside, and even through the pain Ben felt, there was also a certain professional pride, because damn...he'd done it. He'd defeated the poison, and even if the others didn't know it, something like that was no small accomplishment.

Ryan would survive. He was tired and dizzy and sore, but he would survive.

And for the briefest of moments, Ben felt hope.

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"Diana?"

The voice cut through the comforting darkness of sleep, and forced Diana awake. She looked up in bleary-eyed confusion and found Suzuka watching her from the doorway. The muscles in her body complained slightly as she moved, and she realized with a bit of surprise that she'd fallen asleep in the chair next to Deirdre's bed.

Diana frowned, trying to remember what had happened during the night. She remembered comforting Deirdre as the younger girl cried herself to sleep...then curling up in the chair, watching for several long, sleepless hours as West and Deirdre slept...and then finally nothing as the exhaustion had finally caught up with her tired body.

Diana got out of the chair without too much pain, sending Suzuka a worried look. The Japanese girl looked better than she had the day before, but she still seemed...somehow paler and less vibrant than before. But with the things she'd been through, who could blame her?

"How are they?" Suzuka asked, motioning towards her two sleeping teammates.

Diana looked up, surprised that Suzuka knew what had happened since she'd been sound asleep when Kyle, West, and Deirdre had returned.

"Who told-"

"Kyle," Suzuka replied softly. "I woke up earlier, and..." she trailed off, not really sure what to say.

Diana nodded, then focused on Deirdre and West, trying to force out the hum of emotions that radiated from them. Even in sleep, their sadness, anger, and guilt all mixed together, hammering at her mental shields without mercy. A deep breath, concentrating as Ryan had taught her, and the humming slowly diminished until it reached a bearable level.

"Diana?"

Diana shook her head to clear her thoughts, then looked at Suzuka.

"They're...taking it bad, but I guess that's only to be expected," she replied quietly. "I talked to Deirdre before she fell asleep. She doesn't know whether to feel angry with Jhonen for siding with the Shadow Alliance, or guilty because there was nothing she could do to help Prue. And West...I don't know," she admitted. "He's been asleep since they got back."

"Jhonen?" Suzuka asked sharply.

"Yeah...Dre said that he was there with the Shadow Alliance. When she tried to help Prue, he stopped her," Diana replied tiredly.

"Jhonen is nothing but a disgusting traitor," Suzuka said venomously, her voice sending shivers down Diana's spine. "And he'll die for what he did, even if it's the last thing I do."

"Suzuka..."

"No," Suzuka snapped. "Don't try to defend him. He betrayed us, Diana. He got Prue killed! We trusted him, and he betrayed us like we meant nothing to him! And when I meet him again...I will kill him," she promised with a cold anger and determination that told Diana that this was no empty threat.

"We can't go around and kill people!" Diana objected and forced herself to keep her voice down so she wouldn't wake up the other two. "I don't like what he did, either, but we're supposed to be the good guys, Suzuka, not a bunch of murderers!"

"It was his own choice," Suzuka said coldly, dismissing the arguments. "He knew what he was getting into."

Diana sighed. She wanted to talk Suzuka out of it, but knew that it would be useless. Once the Japanese girl had made a decision, it was almost impossible to argue with her. And in this case Suzuka's anger left no doubt that no argument would prevent her from going after their former teammate.

"All right," Diana surrendered, too tired to get into an obviously pointless argument.

Suzuka held her gaze for a moment, then sighed.

"Sorry for snapping at you," she apologized, almost reluctantly. "I'm just..."

"Tired?" Diana suggested with a sigh of her own. "Angry? Hurt?" Suzuka nodded, and Diana continued. "We all are."

Suzuka didn't reply, just watched Deirdre and West for a moment, envying them the peaceful sleep they seemed to be enjoying. She herself hadn't slept well since the beginning of her involuntary stay with the Shadow Alliance - even in sleep, the memory of Nike and Blade haunted her, driving her through nightmare after nightmare, leaving her angry, shaken, tired, but never rested.

She sighed, then forced herself back to reality.

"Come on," she said and motioned towards the door. "Let's see how the guys are doing."

Diana didn't reply, but merely followed Suzuka as they left their two teammates to their much-needed sleep.

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Diana and Suzuka entered Ryan and Kyle's room, and three pair of eyes instinctively looked up.

Diana smiled, happy that Ryan was finally awake - for real, this time. He sat on the bed, clad in loose-fitting clothes and looking like someone who was nursing a bad hangover, but he was awake, and that was all that mattered. The paleness had almost disappeared as well, and he looked a lot healthier than he had earlier.

Ben rested in chair nearby, looking just as tired and exhausted as Ryan, but really, who could blame him? With the amount of healing Ryan had needed, it was a miracle that Ben wasn't out cold.

Kyle looked most awake of the three, but his eyes held a deep sadness, and the dark circles around them spoke of a long, sleepless night. The usual calmness he radiated had been replaced by weariness, by a heavy sadness that engulfed Diana like a cold, wet blanket and threatened to drag her down. She shivered slightly, and looked at Ryan again, hoping to find comfort in his presence. He'd closed his eyes, taking a moment to relax, and Diana frowned slightly.

Did he know what had happened during the night? Judging from the tired look she'd seen in his eyes, he probably did. Sickness and injuries could make you tired, yes, but this was an emotional tiredness, not a physical. Tired, haunted eyes, but still with a spark of the life and strength she admired in him.

A life and strength that had been all but gone when Diana had watched over him earlier; strength replaced with disillusion, life with tired hopelessness. Even the kiss had carried hints of his emotional distress. Rough, demanding, yet caring, but still...still it had held a certain tiredness, a feeling of hopelessness.

The kiss...did he even remember it? Had he even been conscious, or had it seemed like nothing but a fever-induced hallucination to him?

Ryan? she whispered silently, but the only response was a deafening silence.

"Ryan?" she repeated, aloud this time, and Ryan opened his eyes and looked at her. A flicker of something crossed his face at the sight of Diana, a flicker of...guilt?

And that one emotion was the only reply Diana needed - he remembered exactly what had happened, and as she'd feared, he felt guilty for letting the situation get out of hand.

Ryan...

Another soft thought directed at the man, and this time there was a faint hint of something as he fought through the pain and grogginess that engulfed his mind.

Don't feel guilty, Diana continued silently. You didn't-

We'll talk later, Ryan interrupted, cutting neatly through Diana's arguments. When we're alone...not now.

Diana nodded slightly, but what else could she do? Ryan's decision was the most logical of their options - what had happened was their own business, and not something to be shared with the others unless it went any further than the kiss.

And judging from Ryan's reaction, it wouldn't, Diana realized with a small sigh. She wanted to force him into a corner and ask him why he was so scared of the emotions he felt, wanted to ask him how he could deny the mutual attraction between them, but she already knew the answer.

He was afraid. Afraid that he'd hurt her, afraid that the age-difference would somehow twist the relationship into some dark and dangerous, afraid that he was taking advantage of her 'innocent teenage crush'.

He was afraid, and he was too damn stubborn to listen to reason, Diana knew that, too.

Talk? She repeated to herself. Yeah, we'll talk, Ryan...we have a lot of things that needs to be discussed, whether you like it or not.

Ryan shifted slightly, uncomfortably, and Diana wondered if he'd heard it. If he had, he didn't say anything about it, though, but switched into leader-mode as she'd seen him do so many times before.

"How are they?" he asked, a hint of his usual strength returning.

"...Bad," Diana admitted. She didn't have to ask who 'they' were; none of them did. "We let them sleep...they need it."

Ryan nodded slowly, but it was Kyle who replied.

"Thank you," he said quietly, and his eyes met Diana's for a long moment. It was more than a thank you for the reply; it was gratitude that Diana had agreed to talk with the two, gratitude that she'd taken on a burden he'd been reluctant to accept. Only *they* knew that, though, and that was the way it would remain - some things were too personal to be shared, and Diana and Kyle's moment in the hallway was one of them.

Ryan sent them a wondering look, tempted to ask, but decided to leave it alone.

"The question is...what do we do now?" he asked, directed at no one in specific.

Kyle frowned.

"Personally, I think it would be best to leave, once you and Ben have regained your strength. That couple in the nightclub saw both West and me very clearly...there's always the risk that the cops manages to track us down," he replied.

Ben looked up, light blue eyes tired, but alert.

"I agree with Kyle," he said. "It's not a good idea to stay here. You'll probably be well enough to travel tomorrow, Ryan," he added. "And I only need a good night's sleep to get back to normal. I say we leave as soon as possible."

Ryan nodded slowly.

"Diana? Suzuka?" he asked, looking at the two girls.

Diana hesitated for a moment, considering the options, then nodded.

"I think leaving would be a good idea, too," she agreed. "The Shadow Alliance knows where we are, the police is looking for Kyle, and as West said...the FoH are up to something. Let's get out of town while we can."

Suzuka felt the attention fall on her, and she bit her lip. She didn't like running, never had, but in this case it might be their only choice. She was outnumbered, too, so arguing would be pointless. And now, more than ever, Ryan needed their support and needed a team that wasn't divided by arguing.

"Yeah...leaving sounds like the best option," she finally replied, mercilessly crushing the voice inside that mocked her for choosing the coward's way out. If her team's future wellbeing depended on her going with the majority just this once, then so be it.

Ryan nodded, still tired, but feeling the painkillers kick in and get rid of the headache.

"Then we leave. Tomorrow, you said?" he asked, directed at Ben.

"Yes," the young healer replied. "If nothing else happens, then tomorrow."

Ryan looked at Kyle, who just smiled slightly, the gesture chasing away some of the shadows in his eyes.

"Don't worry. I'll find the maps," he replied before Ryan could even ask the question. "You need to rest, Ryan. We'll take care of the planning."

Rest?

Ryan sent Diana a look, and saw the girl raise an eyebrow challenging in reply.

Rest? He could rest later, he decided as the others left the room. Diana didn't hesitate, but closed the door behind them, leaving the two alone.

Yes...rest would have to wait, Ryan repeated to himself. Right now he had a bad situation to sort out with his second in command.

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