After a few nights of Frank's cruelness towards her, she knew that things were not going to change. There was a delivery boy, Eddie, in the castle that Frank had spent a few afternoons with…coincidentally, these afternoons were the ones that led to Columbia's cruel nights. Thinking that Frank had chosen Eddie as a more favored lover, Columbia decided that she would try to spite Frank by sleeping with Eddie as well. Her plan may have worked if Frank wouldn't have become obsessed with creating his newest plaything.
Columbia found that she was actually very happy with Eddie, and he with her, but she still wished she knew what was wrong with Frank. How could somebody who was such a mess a few months ago be so impossible now? She took it upon herself to, well, to snoop around his room. She didn't know what she was looking for, but she thought that there had to be something.
What she found was a book…a journal to be exact…Eva's journal. It was strewn under the bed. She figured that Frank certainly wouldn't miss something he most likely didn't remember was there, so she slipped it under her pajamas and went to her room. Like a child, she got beneath her blanket with a flashlight and began to read.
The first few pages were of no interest to her, there were some ramblings about a wedding. Her eyes were only drawn to the girlish handwriting when she came upon a lengthy entry.
Never in my life have I behaved as I did last night…In any other situation, time, or place, I would feel dirty, ashamed, and quite possibly loathe myself. My sister has always been sexually promiscuous and I have always been both repulsed and envious of her for it, though tonight her promiscuity was the cause of my behavior.
While at Stuart's party, a night I had been looking forward to for some time, I found her in a bedroom…having sex with John. All I can remember is hearing some sort of commotion downstairs while I ran through the hall. I ended up in a dark, unoccupied bedroom with a bottle of wine as the only thing to console me. I've no idea how long I was sitting there. I know I finished whatever was in the bottle and while I knew it had an affect on me, I wasn't drunk, I couldn't forget what I saw. I sobbed so much that by body actually ached; I remember physical pain coursing through my entire being and it wouldn't stop.
When I could finally cease myself from being nothing short of hysterical, there was a knock at the bedroom door. A male voice said something about needing to find a bathroom. I told him he could come in, but I begged for the lights to remain off. He wasn't in there very long at all before he was back in the room, asking whether or not I was all right. The last thing that I wanted was for someone to be in there with me…after all, my entire life had just fallen apart; I was betrayed by the man I was to marry as well as my own flesh and blood…For some reason, I told him what had happened, in a rather standoffish tone.
He made some small talk with me and I learned his first name, Frank; his voice was one of the most soothing sounds I had ever heard. Before I had realized what was happening, he had slid one of the straps of my gown off my shoulder. Well, right then and there I should have stopped him, or yelled for help or…but I didn't. I let this stranger seduce me. I experienced feelings and emotions that I never knew I was capable of. It sounds ridiculous, but I was convinced that he knew me, that he had been some past lover because of how well he knew my body; where to touch me, how to hold me. Of course that's totally impossible – I would never be able to forget that voice…or his touch.
He made even the simple act of removing my clothing so sensual; letting his lips roam my skin. His touch was…it made me quiver; I never quivered with John. When he kissed my lips, I thought that I was going to start to float…there's no doubt in my mind that he was a very experienced lover but everything felt so sacred with him. When we finally began to be intimate my mind was whirling. He was so…energetic? No, that's not it…he was like a wild animal, literally. There was panting and grunting and it wasn't just from him! I've never behaved in such a way…and I enjoyed it!
I wanted him to do things to me that had never crossed my mind in the bedroom before…he was just amazing! But in the middle of it all, he stopped. His body was on top of mine, he was still inside me, but he stopped. I asked if something was wrong and he laughed softly. He never answered me. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me deeper than I had ever been kissed before; his tongue caressing mine…the panting stopped. The grunting stopped. The mind-bending sex stopped. I thought that he finished, but I didn't feel him release.
As if he were reading my thoughts he whispered into my ear, "No, not yet." His hips then started to move slowly, gracefully in fact. Maybe I am losing my mind but I could swear that what I thought was casual sex was turning into lovemaking…though it's been so long since John treated me with any tenderness in bed that I wasn't sure. I could feel the length of him sliding inside me touching places that had never been touched. He held me so close to him and we couldn't stop kissing each other…I lost myself in him. I'm not sure how many times I climaxed, but the more I did, the more pleased he seemed and the more pleasurable everything became. I still don't know what came over me but I almost told him I loved him! I guess that proves how manipulative intense sensuality can be.
I had these flashes in my mind while I was with this man. I think I was remembering a dream or something, but there weren't any images in my mind, only feelings and…am I really losing my mind? Did seeing John and Sarah together make me lose everything rational?
We fell asleep for a while after we were through. I woke up after an hour or so, wrapped in Frank's embrace, and couldn't believe what I let myself do. I started to panic. I got dressed and opened the door. The light from the hallway filtered in and I saw him. He certainly wasn't joking about his costume; he was in full makeup, well, smudged makeup by then…God, he was beautiful.
Columbia felt stabs of jealousy in her stomach and she threw the journal onto the floor. Tears burned her eyes as she remembered Frank's recent cruelty to her. How could Frank have possibly have been so tender with this woman and so cold with her?
