Procrastination, No Breathing

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimer: Marc Anthony, I hate that guy!!! Anyway, the Star Wars Universe doesn't belong to me. Damn, and I could make such good comedies from it, too. Well, I already do. I'm way cooler than THE authors. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene 1: (tpm) Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon Jinn are standing in front of the council with Lil' Ani, (don't be confused with Lil' Bow Wow or Lil' Romeo or Lil' Wayne or Lil' Kim or Lil' John....wait, Robin Hood?!)

Qui: So the boy is to be trained?

Obi: Trainspotting? I love that movie! (starts to hop on one leg and perspire, needing to call Old Spice and try a stick for himshelf...no not Darth Vader a.k.a. Droid Ani!)

Qui: Shhhh, shut up my young padawan learner. We'll watch that movie later. (grins evilly)

Ani y Obi: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! (fall down simultaneously)

Mace: (looks confused for a moment) Uh....no, the boy is not to be trained. He is too damn old!

Yoda: Language watch we must, watch language, need freedom we must, need watch watch watch.................. (continuously going)

Cone Head a.k.a. Ki-Adi: What the hell is that man smoking?

Plo Koon a.k.a. Plophy: He's not a man! The vooman I loved is...dead... (pauses) Argh! I'm a pirate!

Panaka y Typho: (suddenly pop in) NO, WE ARE THE PIRATES!!! (both start trying to rap like Vanilla Ice even though they are black.)

Mace: Ma brotha's! (holding up gangsta signal with his hand)

Panaka y Typho: True, true.

Obi: (getting up from floor after falling down) The Truth, by aminominominously, I love that story!!!!!

Ani: My mom, a.k.a. Tatooine Whore, used to read me that bed time story all the time when I was just a lil' initiate.

Temple Librarian Woman: You were never an initiate!

Bant: (Suddenly flops into council chamber and does weird dance. She lies on floor she starts waving her arms wildly and shaking her legs like flippers)

Obi: You're doing the Bant out-of-water.

Bant: Well, since I am Bant and I am a fish.

Depa: Enough of this nonsensesensesensesense....(pauses) I am Depa Billabababababababa!

Ani: Does she always speak in those cryptic words?

Yoda: Judge me you will not! (suddenly flashes Nazi sign) Hitler I am!! Damn straight I am!

Plophy: What about last night?

All members of the council simultaneously shrug.

Bant: My cousins live in the Hoover and Newburgh Dam?

Obi: Queen of the Damned, I love that movie!

Lindsey: (popping head in) Where is the damned CD?

All members once again simultaneously shrug.

Plophy: MY LIGHTSABER IS YELLOW!

Mace: Well, mine is purple!

Ani: That's gay!

Obi: You're gay! Mine's blue by the way. Hey, that rhymes! I'm a poet, and I didn't know it! Oh wait, that's in Moulin Rouge. I love that movie! But now I'm a Jedi.

Mace: Jedi? Where? (looks confused and starts looking around for Jedi, even though they are all surrounding him. How he got on the council nobody knows, not even Hitler the Great)

Qui: Mine has a fine emerald color. Like in the distant shores of Ireland where the grass is so green that the cows actually poop verde. It's also like the Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz.

Obi: I love that movie!

Ki-Adi: It's a classic.

Mr. Lleb (history teacher): Classic is the form of art the Greeks had from early time periods.

Adi Gallia: Oh, that explains everything.

Obi: I love the ancient Greeks!

Ani: Naboo's Queen is very hot! (starts panting like a bantha)

All the men agree.

Plophy: Look everyone! (starts getting very excited) She's in this week's edition of Hustler magazine!

All the men: Ooooohhhhhhhh, aaaaaaahhhhhhhh, yaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!

Queen Amidala walks in.

Amidala: What are you doing?

Qui: Looking at nude pictures of you in Hustler magazine.

Amidala: Oh...okay. (walks back out)

Everyone sits silently for about 3 minutes.

Obi: (looking at Qui) Let's go cow tipping!

Qui: Okay.

Everyone: YAY!!

Ani: Is this part of my initiation?

Mace: NO! But it's fun.

Ani: Okay! (starts jumping up and down excitedly while accidentally peeing in his pants.)

Obi: You slob! I knew I sensed something evil about you.

Everyone walks out of council room, chatting excitedly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finish Pythagorean Theorum (used for finding side of right triangle)

As the waters run cold our heroes are on their way to Ol' Palpy's farm for a great adventure of cow tipping. Next chapter, The Tipping of the Cows.