Specific Disclaimer: I don't own the stuff involving people dressed up like purple prehistoric creatures (thank goodness).


There were four people in the captain's ready room. They all knew exactly why they were there. Three of the people were terrified; the fourth was feeling malevolent.

Tom Paris, Harry Kim, and B'Elanna Torres stared at Captain Janeway.

Captain Janeway stared back at them.

The casual passerby would think that some sculptor had created a still life in the room.

That was not so, however. Shortly after Tom, B'Elanna, and Harry played their little prank, the captain had asked to see them. The troublemaking trio had done similar things in the past, and she highly suspected them of the little incident involving a somewhat romantic song and a problem in the cargo bay only able to be resolved by the captain and first officer.

The staring contest continued.

The three were becoming increasingly uncomfortable, having had their eyes open for close to two minutes straight. Janeway could have stared all day without blinking.

Finally, Harry could take it no longer. "I ADMIT IT!!! WE DID IT!!!"

Tom looked at Harry. "You're a poet and didn't know it," he remarked.

"NO YELLING IN MY READY ROOM!!!" Janeway yelled. She promptly gave Harry the Janeway Death Glare™. Harry died.

"Captain," B'Elanna said slowly, "you said no yelling in your ready room, but you just--"

"Quiet, or I'll give you the Janeway Death Glare™ too, and everyone knows Chief Engineers don't come back to life!" the irate captain snapped.

B'Elanna shut up. Fast.

"Now, for your punishments. Harry said you did it, and you haven't denied it, so I have to assume you did it. Your punishments will be--" Janeway paused for dramatic effect, but the effect was rather ruined after a minute or so of dramatic silence. Clearing her throat, she continued. "Watching twelve straight hours of reruns of Barney and Friends!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Tom and B'Elanna screamed.

"Dismissed," Janeway said lazily. The soon-to-be brainwashed and insane people ran out of the room, still screaming. After a cup of coffee or ten, the captain finally remembered Harry, still dead. It would be a shame to leave the guy dead. I mean, who among all the crew could die that many times and live to tell the tale? "Janeway to the Doctor. Harry died again, in my ready room. Thought you ought to know." Looking very self-satisfied, the famous starship captain entered the bridge, sat down in her chair, and prepared for another wonderful day of commanding the incredible starship Voyager and her amazing crew.