Captain Kathryn Janeway, having been awakened by the annoying computer only five minutes earlier, was in a deadly mood. All she wanted was to have a cup of coffee or four before beginning her day, which could either be the typical boring day ("Watch the particles of space junk race across the screen! That one's winning! Wait, that other one's ahead!") or the typical first-contact-with-alien-species day ("If you don't give us your warp core we'll destroy you!"). She really didn't care which it was, as long as she got her coffee.
Janeway's annoyed voice: "Coffee, black."
The computer's emotionless response: "Unable to comply."
"Why the flying omega particle not?"
"Replicators are offline."
The roar of anger that followed would make anyone who heard it swear their captain had Klingon blood.
Ten minutes later...
Several ensigns who had been terrified out of their wits by the angry call to Engineering fled when they saw Janeway walk into the Mess Hall. They knew exactly who had called demanding to know why the replicators were offline, exactly what she needed at the moment, and exactly what she would do to anyone who blocked her way. Janeway had actually calmed down a bit by now, which was a good thing, because all Neelix had that morning was decaf and a new cook would need to be found if she'd been as coffee-desperate as she was five minutes ago. As it was, many chairs and tables were tipped over.
(A/N...where the merf is this going? I certainly don't know. I have no set plot for this, so who knows what might happen!)
Janeway walked on to the bridge and sat down in her chair. No one dared look at her, for fear of what they might see. Fortunately, it was the typical boring day, so the mutterings of "coffee...coffee...coffee..." didn't distract anyone from anything important. Far more annoying than the constant chanting of "coffee" were the constant calls to Engineering. "Janeway to Engineering. Are the replicators online yet?" "No, Captain." "Janeway to Engineering. Are the replicators--" "No, Captain." "Janeway to Engineering--" "No." This went on for two very long hours. Finally, the coffee-deprived captain gave up and simply stared at the blank viewscreen. The occasional chant of "coffee" could still be heard.
Three hours later...
"Janeway to Engineering. Are the replicators online yet?"
Well, Captain...I hate to tell you this, but a hostile alien species has just beamed all of our replicators off the ship."
Captain Janeway screamed...
...And sat up in bed. It had only been a dream, then. See? The replicator was right there. Still, she had to be reassured...
"Coffee, black."
"Unable to comply."
"Why not?"
"Replicators are offline."
The scream could be heard throughout the ship.
A/N Review! Review! Review! Reviews keep me going like Janeway's coffee keeps her going, and if I get review-deprived, you don't get any more funny drabbles! Oh yes, and flames will either be suppressed with the ship's fire control system or used to roast coffee beans.
Janeway's annoyed voice: "Coffee, black."
The computer's emotionless response: "Unable to comply."
"Why the flying omega particle not?"
"Replicators are offline."
The roar of anger that followed would make anyone who heard it swear their captain had Klingon blood.
Ten minutes later...
Several ensigns who had been terrified out of their wits by the angry call to Engineering fled when they saw Janeway walk into the Mess Hall. They knew exactly who had called demanding to know why the replicators were offline, exactly what she needed at the moment, and exactly what she would do to anyone who blocked her way. Janeway had actually calmed down a bit by now, which was a good thing, because all Neelix had that morning was decaf and a new cook would need to be found if she'd been as coffee-desperate as she was five minutes ago. As it was, many chairs and tables were tipped over.
(A/N...where the merf is this going? I certainly don't know. I have no set plot for this, so who knows what might happen!)
Janeway walked on to the bridge and sat down in her chair. No one dared look at her, for fear of what they might see. Fortunately, it was the typical boring day, so the mutterings of "coffee...coffee...coffee..." didn't distract anyone from anything important. Far more annoying than the constant chanting of "coffee" were the constant calls to Engineering. "Janeway to Engineering. Are the replicators online yet?" "No, Captain." "Janeway to Engineering. Are the replicators--" "No, Captain." "Janeway to Engineering--" "No." This went on for two very long hours. Finally, the coffee-deprived captain gave up and simply stared at the blank viewscreen. The occasional chant of "coffee" could still be heard.
Three hours later...
"Janeway to Engineering. Are the replicators online yet?"
Well, Captain...I hate to tell you this, but a hostile alien species has just beamed all of our replicators off the ship."
Captain Janeway screamed...
...And sat up in bed. It had only been a dream, then. See? The replicator was right there. Still, she had to be reassured...
"Coffee, black."
"Unable to comply."
"Why not?"
"Replicators are offline."
The scream could be heard throughout the ship.
A/N Review! Review! Review! Reviews keep me going like Janeway's coffee keeps her going, and if I get review-deprived, you don't get any more funny drabbles! Oh yes, and flames will either be suppressed with the ship's fire control system or used to roast coffee beans.
