Specific Disclaimer: The Hatstand Goddess...wow, she's actually mine! She doesn't feature in this fic except by name, though.


Somewhere, in the depths of the Delta Quadrant, a small ship hurtled through space...

It was breakfast time in the Mess Hall. The place was crowded, and everyone was paying attention to their food. Everyone, that is, except a nameless ensign (poor guy! We ought to give him a name! Let's call him Bob.) who was staring out the windows for the heck of it. Suddenly, a thing that looked like a toy sailboat, except ten times bigger, drifted lazily past the window, but only Bob saw it because he was staring out the windows and not paying attention to his food. Bob was intrigued by the toy sailboat thing. He got up to take a closer look. Upon further inspection of the toy sailboat, he saw that it was populated by about fifteen rainbow-colored bunnies that looked like they'd been assimilated by the Borg. Normally, Bob was a pretty rational guy. There was usually an explanation for anything they came across, whether it was lizards from Earth or a piece of space debris that looked like something had chewed on it. There was no explanation for this. Bob knew something had to be done.

"Nameless Ensign to the bridge." (Remember, they don't call him Bob.)

"Go ahead," Janeway said with a yawn.

"There's a toy sailboat populated by about fifteen rainbow-colored bunnies that look like they've been assimilated by the Borg right outside the Mess Hall."

"Okay, we'll check it out," the voice on the other end of the comm system replied as if there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary going on.

Bob, having finished his part in this fic, sat down again and paid attention to his food.


The bridge crew was busily trying to figure out the mystery of the rainbow Borg bunnies.

"They're not alive," Harry Kim reported.

"They have no weapons," Tuvok reported.

Janeway blinked, blinked again, and scratched her head. "What could they be? Whatever. Lock on to them with a tractor beam and bring them into the shuttle bay."

The toy sailboat, and the rainbow Borg bunnies, were soon in the shuttle bay. Janeway and a security team went to meet the bunnies and see what in the name of the Hatstand Goddess they were.

The security team preceded the captain into the shuttle bay. There was no threat, however. The bunnies had not moved. When the toy sailboat and its inhabitants had been declared safe, Janeway approached the boat, examining it. Hesitantly, she poked one of the bunnies. Nothing happened. She sighed with relief -- and then it happened. The rainbow Borg bunnies all hopped out of the toy sailboat and began bouncing around madly. Everyone promptly ran out of the shuttle bay. No one noticed one bunny leave the room with them.


The bridge crew was in the meeting room, discussing ways to control the bunnies. Security people were roaming the decks looking for stray bunnies, but sincerely hoping not to find them because they didn't know what in the name of the Hatstand Goddess to do with them. Everyone feared the bunnies. Everyone, that is, except Bob. (A/N It was Bob's idea, not mine, to put him back in the fic. *shrug*) He thought the bunnies were cute, and dearly wanted to see one up close. Bob got his wish. The stray bunny came hopping up to him, and he immediately reached down to pet it. The bunny jumped into Bob's arms, where it got a lot of TLC. The bunny then told Bob (telepathically) where the rest of the bunnies were being kept. Bob promptly set off toward the shuttle bay to rescue the bunnies.


Later, when a plan had been devised to control the bunnies, a security team specially trained in bunny control entered the shuttle bay. To their infinite surprise, not a bunny remained (although the toy sailboat still remained). Since they didn't have biosigns, they couldn't be tracked, so everyone assumed they'd re-entered space to go thoroughly freak out something else. The sailboat was moved to Cargo Bay 2 and soon forgotten. The bunnies, however, were still on the ship, living in Bob's quarters and waiting for the perfect time to reappear.

And the Doctor sang opera in Sick Bay.

A/N: Whee, thirteen reviews! See what reviews do to me? They inspire me! Oh, and if you have any ideas for plotlines (such as they are, around here) please post them. I'll give you credit if I use yours.