I've added author's notes ( ) in here, to give you some insight into what I was thinking when I wrote this. (RUN! HIDE!)


Tuvok was walking down a corridor. A faint whistling sound could be heard, and the Vulcan needed to investigate. (Yeah, what if it's an evil alien who's gonna take over the ship.) He turned a corner-- and saw Neelix strolling down the corridor, whistling cheerfully, and headed straight for him. Before Tuvok could turn around, Neelix saw him. (Run, Tuvok, run!)

"Mr. Vulcan! I've just made a new kind of soup, and I was wondering if you could try it for me. You know, see if it tastes okay." (NO! He'll kill you!)

"I am on duty, Mr. Neelix," Tuvok replied.

Neelix was disappointed, until he realized...

"Well, then...maybe you could come down to the Mess Hall when you're off duty!"

Tuvok nearly sighed, but suppressed his frustration. "All right, Mr. Neelix."


About three hours later, Tuvok entered the Mess Hall. He was greeted by an enthusiastic Talaxian and a horrifying smell which, Tuvok dearly hoped, was a mistake and not what he was supposed to be eating.

Neelix was ready with a bowl in his hand and a grin on his face. "Hello, Mr. Vulcan! I'm so glad you could come down here to try my new soup. Doesn't it smell wonderful?" he babbled enthusiastically. (No, it smells like an overused Porta-Potty times five.)

Tuvok's worst fear had come true. The smell that permeated the place was indeed the soup. "It smells...interesting." Filled with dread, he sat down at a table and looked at the contents of the bowl. Better get it over with quickly, he thought as he lowered the spoon into the bowl. (Today is a good day to die.)

The soup suddenly shot out sparks, startling Neelix greatly. He started babbling again, this time in apology. Tuvok silenced him with a very Vulcan glare.

"Perhaps you should make sure that the food will not spontaneously combust before serving it to the crew." (But it's so FUN to serve exploding food to people!)

Neelix nodded, and Tuvok fled with what sense of smell he had left.


A/N Did you like the comments in there? Let me know :)