Chapter 3
The Shadow Realm
Eowyn
Fear burnt like fire within me. But not for her. She feared nothing, not even him. But I, I squirmed under his ceaseless stare. His gaze cut through me like bitter knives. I was trapped there. I could not force her to go and then it was too late. We both spiralled down into the dark abyss.
Silence pressed in on my ears. I woke to find I was lying on a cold, black floor. This was the Shadow Realm. Where the sick waited to either wake or die. Lightning rippled across the endless ceiling and its white light flickered across my skin for a moment before plunging me into darkness again. Never was the silence broken.
I felt strange and alone. I sensed Durnhelm's presence less keenly, and there was something else. The wraith was here too. We had destroyed each other and brought ourselves here. I could not see him, though I knew he was there. Somewhere. But he was only a shell of his former malice and could not instil me with fear, as he had before.
Dernhelm
Indeed, he was here, prowling the shadows and licking his wounds. But it was over for him. He could not escape this place. I am master here. And now I know how it is for Eowyn, to have your personality spliced and your privacy assailed. For now I am the invaded, not the invader. But I do this now because I must save her. I will not let his evil curse, the Black Breath, infect her. I have taken it upon myself and it is slowly destroying me. I will miss her. I care for her as a daughter.
A voice is calling. Eowyn, it says. I know the voice. It is that of Aragorn. And now I smile, for I had not hoped to hear him again. But he is here with us. He walks in the shadows, searching for her. Calling her back to the light. I see him. A silver glow is about him.
'Hail Aragorn!' I cry. He comes to me and holds out his hand.
'Eowyn. Come, your brother awaits thee.'
I laugh and shake my head.
'Alas, for I am not she whom you seek. I fear you shall never find her here. She does not know the ways and you may search forever.'
'Then how shall I find her?' he asks. He regards me curiously.
'I shall bring her to thee. Farewell, my lord. This shall be the last you see of me.' and I smile and kiss his cheek. He may be the King of Gondor now but this is my realm and none shall daunt me in it.
Pacing the shadows, I see her ahead, lying in the dark and staring up at the ceiling. The shadows are clinging to me more now. My sight is loosing its sharpness. But I call for her and she quickly stands.
'Derhelm?' she answers uncertainly. But I am not Dernhelm anymore. I am a shadow, and I am fading. For shadows cannot exist in the night and the wraith has brought the eternal darkness upon me.
Eowyn
Her raiment is black, as is her hair. But her features are mine. I go to her.
'The King awaits thee.' she says, 'He will take you back to the light.'
'And you?' I ask, for her voice sounds strange.
'This is my world, Eowyn. You will not be plagued by shadows anymore. I shall keep them away from thee.'
And then, either my vision blurs or her outline does. She falls to the floor. I rush to her side and cradle her head on my lap.
'Do not leave me! I need you!' I cry, but she is fading.
'Look for me in the shadows.' she whispers and then I find I am holding air.
'Dernhelm!' I scream. But she does not answer, for she is not there.
The lightning ripples across the ceiling again, but this time it booms tremendously and tears at the inky blackness, revealing a blue sky.
I find myself standing on a green hill in Rohan. Below, a man is beckoning me to come. It is Aragorn.
I have mixed feelings for him. I love him because Dernhelm did, in her own fashion. But I dislike him because of the pain he caused her.
Still, these are thoughts for another time. I run along the green grass. It seems an age since I have felt this free. But there is an emptiness which Dernhelm used to occupy and I feel this keenly.
'Are you ready to return?' Aragorn asks as I reach him.
I glance about my surroundings one last time.
'Yes.' I reply as he takes my hand.
I open my eyes and Eomer is beside me. Aragorn has left. I scan my surroundings but they are alien to me.
'Eomer?' I say, or at least I try to. A hoarse whisper is all I manage. He is calling my name and crying.
We talk of Theoden King for a while, but weariness overcomes me. So I sleep and forget the ills of the past.
How ever much my body may rest, my mind does not. There is dissension inside me. Whatever convictions and feelings Durnhelm possessed have now passed to me. Aragorn has marched east with Eomer. I hate being left behind. I have been overwhelmed with anomalous thoughts. Of late, I yearn to pick up my sword and fight alongside the valiant captains, in the east. It seems that a part of Dernhelm may still lurk in the shadows of my heart. Idleness had become wearisome. I demanded the Warden release me from this place, the Houses of Healing. But he would not release me and, instead, brought me to the Steward of the City, the Lord Faramir, so that I might discuss my complaint with him. I found that the Steward dwelt in the same houses as I, for he had been wounded in battle. He stood in the gardens, facing east. The warden called to him, announcing my arrival. He turned to me. His hair was dark and his eyes grey and full with pity.
He gave me permission to walk the gardens, so that I might look east to where all our hopes lay. And then I left him there, returning to my chambers to rest.
I met him again in the gardens, the following day. I found myself at ease in his presence. We would talk of our homes and our families, but never the shadow. Such memories were still too fresh in the minds to share, even in the light of day.
The days slowly passed. I sought out, more and more, the company of the Steward. Then, ten days since the passing of Dernhelm, the fall of Theoden, and the destruction of the Ring-wraith, came news of the victory of the West. Faramir had taken on the burden of the Stewardship and I now saw him little. The people celebrated and were merry. But not I. What joy had I in living? Dernhelm was right in taking us to war. She had found release, while I was made to live on in this world of light. I feared the future without her. Was I strong enough to look after myself?
It seemed that my discord showed on my face and I grew ill again. Faramir came to visit me. I believe this was the Warden's doing.
He asked me why I did not go to Cormallen, as my brother had bidden me. But it seemed that he knew the answers already. He continued on to chastise me for my foolish lust for Aragorn. And then he told me he loved me and asked me if I loved him in return. How to answer? How to tell him that my soul is in disarray and I know not if what I feel is true or the remnants of another's desires? But I do answer, for I realize it has all fallen into place and he was the piece that was missing.
The shadow had departed, but my happiness need not.
I will wed him and we shall live in bliss, in Ithilien.
The years passed. People cannot forget what they did not know existed. So it was for Dernhelm, the unsung hero of the Pellenor Fields. For all her praise they gave to me. And even Faramir did not know of the woman who was once part of me, who had perished to save me. I look upon my eldest daughter, Oloren. Perhaps I am slightly biased towards her, but it seems to me that Dernhelm lives on in her.
~The End~
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