There won't be any new updates for the next two weeks, since I'm spending the holidays on Madeira. So - merry Christmas, and I'll see you guys in a couple of weeks ^^
A/N 1: Ideas for fic and character development, questions, plotbunnies, suggestions, flames, character pictures, ficlets, corrections, additions, comments, and everything in between can be mailed to hack_heaven@usa.net.
A/N 2: Slash warning, meaning that those who have issues with a m/m pairing should skip this chapter. Why this sudden change? You see, I looked at the people who reviewed, and realized that most of the die-hard anti-slash readers apparently didn't follow the story any more...leaving me with free hands to finally add a slash-pairing ^^. If anyone has any objections, I'm afraid it's too late for that now.
A/N 3: Zahra's power is echolocation - it enables her to find her way around even without the help of her eyes. The high tones she uses to navigate with can also be used as a weapon in emergencies - she can, if needed be, make the sounds loud enough to deafen someone permanently.
Italics indicate thoughts/telepathy
[...] Indicates flashbacks
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Chapter Seventy: Echoes of the Past
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Anger. Worry. Annoyance.
Fear?
Ryan's head snapped up, emotions clouding his mind as the link with Kyle was flooded by conflicting feelings; some strong, some weak, but none of them pleasant. Pushing aside his own growing fear, he reached out with his mind, his thoughts instantly turning to his friend.
Kyle?
There was only a vague sense of recognition, and Ryan slowly stood up and walked out of the main room, looking for somewhere to talk to his friend without interruptions. Much to his relief, nobody asked him where he was going, and he stepped silently into one of the empty bedrooms, letting himself sink down in one of the chairs.
Kyle...
The time there was a reply as his silent word finally found their way through Kyle's emotions, making the other aware of his presence.
Ryan?
A nod, although Kyle couldn't see it. What happened? I felt... Ryan trailed off, unsure of how to continue.
Kyle sighed. It's okay. I was just talking with Blade and I lost my temper. It's...I'm okay. Really.
[-The candle fell to the ground, the flame sizzling and dying as it hit the wet concrete and rolled into a small puddle of water.
"Kyle!"
Blue eyes met blue; wide-eyed fear bordering on panic visible in their usually so calm depths. Worry clouded Ryan's mind and he reached out, touching Kyle's shoulder gently. Blue eyes snapped up, panic slowly fading as their owner fought back his fear, and finally Kyle nodded.
"I'm-I'm okay. Really." Still fear in his voice, still a touch of panic, and whether the words were meant to reassure Ryan or himself, wasn't clear. "I'm...I'm okay."]
What did he do? Ryan asked, worry shining through his words, betraying the fear he felt.
We discussed how to handle this thing, and we...didn't really agree on much. A hint of dry amusement in the words, and it make Ryan feel a bit better - as long as Kyle could still act like that, he wasn't broken.
What did you decide on, then? Ryan asked. A bit of the worry in his mind faded and he switched partially back to the leader he was supposed to be.
Kyle shook his head, mentally going through the things they'd decided over the past day. We're...we'll pretty much have to follow Blade, he admitted. He's the one who is most likely to have any experience with something like this. Ryan remained silent, waiting for him to continue, and Kyle sighed. We'll have to do this the hard way - we don't have that many options. Get in, take over the place, and hope we won't get killed in the process.
Ryan nodded slowly, considering the words. And what about the guards?
Kyle winced slightly. I suggested sedatives, but... he paused for a moment. Blade and Melee will kill them. I don't agree with them, but we don't really have a choice.
I know, Ryan admitted silently. Kyle...there was nothing you could have done to change their minds about this, don't forget that.
[-"I should have done something. I had my powers, I could have-"
"You could have tried to get them out, and would have died with them," Ryan replied, a hard edge in his voice, belying the grief he felt at Kyle's words. He wanted to hold him, tell him that everything would be all right, but right now the most important thing would be to take care of Kyle's guilt - carrying around remorse like that could easily break a person, and that was the last thing Ryan wanted to see.
"I..." Kyle trailed off, pain clear in his eyes, and while the sight almost made Ryan physically hurt, he forced himself to continue.
"There was nothing you could have done to save them, Kyle. Never forget that,"]
I know, I just... Kyle trailed off, but the meaning was clear, echoing more than one conversation they'd had in the past, the words all but burned into Ryan's mind by now. And Ryan wanted to comfort him, wanted to make the fear and doubt go away, but no matter how much it pained him, they did not have the time.
What about weapons? he asked, hoping to distract his friend from the unpleasant thought of the guards. It worked partially - Kyle focused on the weapons instead, but the darker thoughts still lingered in the back of his mind.
Blade tried them out - they seem to be working fine. It's guns, mostly, and a couple of knives - nothing too sophisticated, Kyle replied. I'll need to give Suzuka a crash-course in guns later...I don't think she's ever tried to use one before.
She hasn't, Ryan confirmed. I don't think she'll like it, but...
...But we don't have a choice, Kyle finished quietly.
No, Ryan admitted with a sigh. He paused, then continued. We'll be there when you take over the room - I don't know how many of us, but Daryn and I will be there at the very minimum. Probably at the front...Daryn usually needs to touch what he's trying to control, but he thinks he might be able to do it from a short distance since the collars are fairly simple.
Kyle nodded slowly, although Ryan couldn't see it. Good. He paused for a moment, the brief instant stretching into eternity, the continued. Ryan...
Ryan frowned, feeling some of his worry return. What?
What are our chances of getting out of this alive? The words were calm and collected - not desperately hopeful as one might have expected, but just...accepting. Nobody should ever have to accept a situation like that, and Ryan felt a pang of grief.
Kyle-
And don't lie to me, Kyle interrupted softly. After everything we've been through, you owe me the truth. How bad is it?
Ryan sighed. He didn't want to tell Kyle how bad things really were, but...he owed him the truth, didn't he? Kyle had saved his sanity - and his humanity - more than once. He'd been there to remind him that he wasn't alone, that someone cared. He'd been Ryan's one anchor to reality when his telepathy had been spinning out of control, and the very least he could do in return was to be honest, no matter how much it pained him.
It's...bad, Ryan admitted slowly.
How bad? Kyle repeated. What are our chances?
They're...pretty much nonexistent, Ryan admitted. We'll do our best - we're not helpless, and we're pretty sure we can do this, but...
...But we're up against the military and the complete resources of the government, Kyle finished, then sighed softly. Thank you for being honest.
Kyle, it's not - we still have a chance to get you out of there, don't forget that. We can-
Kyle smiled; a faint, wry smile that made Ryan remember the haunted teenager he'd first met so long ago. Yes...but the fact still remains - we're most likely going to die.
I won't let you, Ryan replied with quiet conviction. I... he paused, then continued in a softer voice. I don't want to lose you.
[-A hand tracing slow patterns on heated skin, a warm body pressed against his own, the sheets tangled around them, half torn off the bed.
"I don't want to lose you." Soft, gentle words, a hint of worry tainting the peaceful atmosphere in the room.
Lips against lips, kissing away the half-formed doubts, promising eternity in their touch, although both knew that eternity was beyond their ability to give. The hand trailed further down, fingers caressing taut muscles, the kiss growing deeper, more insistent and they forgot about the ifs and hows and whys. Because really, what did a distant eternity matter on a night like this?]
The words echoed through Kyle's mind, barely the ghost of a whisper, and with them came loss, fear, regret, uncertainty - all the feelings that Ryan usually kept so well-hidden. Resurfacing, they brushed Kyle's mind through the telepathic link and made him want to reach out and comfort Ryan, and tell him that everything would be okay.
But much as he wanted to, he couldn't, and they both knew that.
We still have a chance, remember? Kyle reminded him, suppressing his doubts. It's not big, but it's there.
And that was the truth, wasn't it? That they still had a chance? And even if he didn't quite believe it himself, that was what Ryan needed to hear, and Kyle would do his damn best to protect Ryan from any unnecessary pain and worry.
Now we just need to make *you* believe that, Ryan replied quietly.
I'm not giving up, if that's what you're afraid of, Kyle assured him. You know that isn't my style.
Faint amusement from Ryan, and he smiled slightly, reluctantly. I know. I just... he trailed off, not sure how to continued. I don't want to be alone again.
[-The cool night wind caressing his face, sending shivers down his spine, the temperature just a bit too cold to be comfortable. Footsteps, then the feeling of a warm body against his back, and two arms were wrapped around him, keeping the cold a bit at bay. For a moment they stood there, silently watching the city from the rooftop, then Ryan sighed almost inaudibly.
"What's wrong?" Ryan didn't have to turn around to see the frown on Kyle's face, and he shook his head slightly in reply.
"I just..." he trailed off, hesitating for a moment. "I was just thinking."
"About what?" Another frown, and Ryan sighed again.
"It's just...I was worried. I was thinking about everything that's been going on lately, and I...I just wondered what I would do if I lost you," he admitted quietly. Another pause, his breath forming a white mist in the air, then he continued. "I don't want to be alone."
"And you won't be," Kyle replied quietly. "I promise."]
Real fear followed his words this time, and Kyle knew beyond any doubt that it had been years since Ryan had last allowed himself to show a vulnerability like that, and the fact that he showed it now only made Kyle that much more worried.
You won't be alone, I won't let you, he replied, adding whatever reassurance he could behind the words. The fact that Ryan was willing to show this kind of emotions was all the proof that Kyle needed to know that the situation was starting to tear on Ryan with a worrying speed. Protective urges flared along with worry for his long-time friend, worry and the knowledge that he had to do something soon. At the moment Ryan was the best - and quite possible also the only - choice for a leader, and Kyle had no doubt that the moment Ryan lost his hope and the will to fight, they would also lose their last chance of surviving.
No reply from Ryan, only a faint diminishing in the worry that clouded his mind, and Kyle continued.
I won't leave you, he whispered.
[-The soft sound of cloth against skin, joined by the slow, steady beat of two hearts; faint movement, the sheet clinging slightly to bodies damp with sweat, the air heavy around them. A kiss, slow, lingering, both of them pleasantly exhausted.
"I won't leave you." Soft words, blue eyes meeting blue, one pair intense, searching for reassurance, the other equally intense and painfully honest, the truth of the words mirrored in the dark depths.
A moment of complete silence, only broken by the sound of their heartbeats, then theirs lips met, tense muscles loosening and questioning eyes warming again at the caress.
"I know, he whispered. "I know..."]
I know, Ryan replied, echoing the words of a night so long ago, his voice conveying his love, his care, his devotion.
Gently he reached out, brushing against Kyle's mind with mental fingers, and Kyle felt a ghost-like touch on his cheek, invisible fingers caressing it with infinite care. He didn't move, afraid to break Ryan's concentration and the brief moment of contact, and Ryan reached out again, already feeling the strain on his mind, but no longer caring.
Another gentle caress; a feather-like kiss of phantom lips against lips, and for a moment Kyle could almost imagine that he could feel Ryan beside him, his body heat chasing away the cold; fingers intertwined with his, soft lips pressed against his skin. Then the moment passed and the ghostly touch faded, and Ryan sighed faintly, regretfully.
Be careful.
Simple words, but holding everything they didn't have time to say; emotions, thoughts, and hopes intermingling among the letters.
I promise.
And with one last phantom touch, the connection faded as Ryan's mind surrendered to the exhaustion he'd inflicted on it, leaving the two alone once again.
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