To Ageless, because sometimes I don't think we appreciate our beta readers enough. You're quite probably the sole reason why I haven't screwed up the plotline yet. Thanks, chica ^^
Oh, and since I have a final on January 10th that I *really* need to study for, I can't really say when the next chapter will show up. *apologetic smile* Sorry.
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1. First of all - I repeat: if anyone have any ideas/objections/anything related to the fic that they would like to discuss, I can be reached on hack_heaven@usa.net or on ICQ at 161517297. I don't bite, I don't get snappy unless you do, and I am in general a fairly pleasant person to chat to (honestly). I am more than willing to consider other people's ideas for the fic, as long as said ideas are in character for the fictives and you can give me a good reason for writing them. Give me some good enough arguments, and I'll probably even be willing to re-write entire chapters to work the idea into the fic. I will, however, also admit that I am biased - I'm far easier to convince if you've been reviewing on at least a semi-regular basis, but that doesn't mean I will refuse to listen to people who's never reviewed.
So - if you don't like where the fic is going, then do something to change it. I made it clear from the very beginning that ideas would be more than welcome, so if you aren't happy, then a) tell me so, and give me some ideas to change it, or b) stop reading the story. It's that simple.
That being cleared up, let's get to the next point:
The Kyle/Ryan pairing has been sub-text for the past 30 chapters or so. I've been considering making it a 'real' paring for the past 15 chapters. This is not a pairing added just to shock people and/or get them to review (all right, maybe to shock them a little bit, but really, most of Journey was written with that idea in mind).
Everyone clear? Good! :)
2. About Diana: Don't worry, we'll get to that. I know what I'm doing *cough*moreorless*cough*.
3. The rest of the questions/comments:
Ageless: *wide, innocent eyes* Me? Malicious? Impossible! *grins* Just a bit twisted in the head, maybe...
Stupidx: f/f slash? Trust me, I've considered it several times, but I haven't been able to find a pairing that works *sigh*. If you have any suggestions, I'd appreciate them :)
Blackcat: *grins* Whoever said that the Ryan/Diana thing is supposed to end? I don't have the heart to take Ryan away from her now that she finally managed to knock some sense into him.
SilentPegasus: Don't worry, the slash won't show up too often ^^
X-moonchik: Glad you approve ^^. After all, Kyle *was* supposed to be straight, but...*grins* I couldn't help myself. So I'm glad you like it :)
Tiger5913: Yes, more Diana/Ryan. Trust me! *smirk*
Dragonette: My main reason for writing isn't to please people, it's because I think it's fun. I like reviews, I won't deny that, but I won't write merely for the sake of them. Even if nobody reviewed, I would still finish the fic for the sole reason that I enjoy writing it (well, most of the time, anyway *wry smile*). If I thought I was doing something wrong, I would have tried to make the fic more mainstream, since a slash-pairing would be more likely to chase readers away instead.
Yes, Kyle and Ryan have a deep friendship going on, but it goes deeper than that - they survived together on the streets for more than a year, and life out there isn't easy. They took whatever comfort they could get, especially in each other's arms, and things like that are quite likely to show up again in stressful and traumatic situations, which their current situation can safely be describes as. If you still feel that anything needs to be rectified, you know my e-mail and ICQ number.
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Chapter Seventy-One: A Touch of Hope
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She found him in one of the bedrooms, drawn to it by the waves of emotions radiating from the man; hurt, fear, anger, pain, loss, all intermingling to create a heavy bleakness that surrounded her mind and made her heart ache for him. He didn't react as she entered the room, but remained unmoving on the bed where he sat, his elbows resting on his knees, hands hiding his face from view.
"Ryan?" Her voice was soft, hesitant, and she reached out, one hand resting lightly on his shoulder.
The small touch seemed to tear Ryan out of his trance, and the bleakness that surrounded him faded, once again drawn back in behind his ever-present shields. Only a faint shadow of his emotions lingered, his mind too drained to keep complete control.
"Diana..." He looked up, dark blue eyes tired, weary, betraying the mental and physical exhaustion he felt, and Diana sat down next to him, caressing his cheek lightly with her hand.
"What happened? You were...."
"Tired, that's all," Ryan replied, forcing himself to act normally, but not quite succeeding. "I just lost concentration for a moment...it's nothing." He sighed softly, regretfully. "I'm sorry I made you worried."
Diana shook her head slightly, not at all convinced by his words. "I know you, Ryan, and know that you don't just 'lose concentration'. What happened?"
Ryan looked at her, her green eyes clouded with worry for him. Even in his current condition he could feel the trust and compassion surrounding her, inviting him to confide in her, to trust her like she trusted him.
He shouldn't, he knew that. She was too young, too vulnerable to have to deal with his pain and worries, but...he couldn't handle it alone. The fear, the worries, the insecurities - without Kyle's support, he would have no protection against the darkness in his own mind, and now...now Kyle was gone.
"Ryan?" Soft, questioning words, almost caressing, and Ryan felt the last of his objections fade away.
"I talked with Kyle," he finally replied, his voice barely more than a whisper.
Diana didn't reply for a moment, waiting for him to continue, but Ryan remained silent, lost in thoughts.
"Ryan?"
The man looked up again, the unasked question hanging heavy in the air, adding to the burden that was already weighing down on his shoulders.
"Are they okay? What's wrong?" Diana continued, hoping to tear him out of his gloomy thoughts and back into the real world.
"They're...alive," he replied quietly. "Alive and unharmed, and that's really the best we can hope for, isn't it?" The was something in his voice, something elusive that Diana try as she might couldn't quite put her finger on, and whatever it was, it was starting to make her nervous.
"What's wrong, Ryan?" she repeated softly. "Talk to me...trust me."
His blue eyes met her own again, tired and haunted, and she reached out, caressing his cheek gently, putting all her love and devotion behind that one motion, hoping to somehow get through to him. For a long moment he didn't react, merely watched her as if really seeing her for the first time, then sighed.
"He's..." Ryan shook his head slightly, trying to find a word that could describe what he'd felt from Kyle. "He's not giving up, he's too strong for that, but..." Another long pause, and Diana remained silent, waiting for him to continue. "He's doesn't think they're going to get out this," Ryan finally admitted, the words hurting more than he'd expected.
Once again, Diana remained silent, knowing that Ryan rarely allowed anyone to see him vulnerable, and that he needed time to gather his thoughts.
"He's...they've decided what do to, and that they'll go through with his, but...he doesn't believe that they'll get out of it. He's resigned himself to the thought that they're likely to die, and that that'll be the end of it," Ryan said quietly, his eyes closing briefly at the thought. "And...I'm starting to fear that he's right."
"Don't say that," Diana objected, green eyes worried. "We'll get them out of there, you know that."
"Will we?" Ryan asked, his voice serious. "Will we, Diana? Can you look me in the eyes and honestly tell me that you think this will work out fine?"
"No," Diana replied. "I can't. But at least *I* haven't lost hope."
The words were deliberately hard, and although Diana hated talking to Ryan like that, it was also the only way she could think of that might tear Ryan out of his dark thoughts. They needed a leader, and allowing Ryan to sink into depressing wouldn't help anyone.
No reply from Ryan, and Diana caressed his cheek again, hoping to comfort him a bit. "We're not helpless, you know that. We have our powers, and we have the advantage of surprise. The military doesn't know we're coming for them - they don't expect this, and that gives us a big advantage."
"We don't need an advantage, we need a miracle," Ryan sighed. "We need..."
"We need you to stop pitying yourself and be the leader you're supposed to be," Diana interrupted. "We can't do this without you, Ryan. If you give up now, we might as well not bother trying."
Ryan shook his head. "You don't understand, Diana. No matter what we do, someone's likely to get killed. If I decide we go through with this, I'll endanger all of us. If I decide not to, we'll leave Kyle and Suzuka to die. We can't win."
"Yes, we can," Diana disagreed. "With Daryn to handle the collars, with you to get us inside and keep everyone in contact through your powers, and with Hal and her team on our side if it comes to a fight...we can win. They don't know about Daryn's powers, and they don't expect anyone to fight back - our odds are better than you think."
For a long moment it was silent as Ryan considered the words, showing no sign that he'd heard her at all. Finally he closed his eyes and sighed softly, the small sound bringing with it all the fear and worry he felt.
"I don't want to lose him," Ryan admitted quietly. "I can't..." He trailed off, unable to put his feelings into words and Diana moved a bit closer to him, her presence chasing away some of the worry Ryan felt.
"Kyle?" she guessed, and Ryan nodded, opening his eyes to look at her again.
"I can't lose him, Diana...not now, not after all we've been through."
Diana nodded, feeling the worry for Kyle radiate through his mental shields for a moment, before the emotion faded away again, once again hidden. Had it been anyone else but Kyle, she would have been jealous of the deep-running emotions she felt from him. Anyone...but not Kyle. She knew how much the two cared about his other, saw the affectionate friendship between them every day, and knew that it was as much a part of Ryan as his telepathy, or his compassion, or his way of thinking.
She let her trust and reassurance flow freely, knowing that Ryan would feel it, and kissed him lightly on lips, hoping to give him whatever comfort she could.
"We'll get them out of this safely," she said, her voice full of quite conviction. "I know we will."
Ryan looked at her, really hearing her words for the first time, and felt some of the depressive thoughts in his mind fade away, replaced by the first real glint of hope in a long time. What if it was possible after all? She did have a point, didn't she? With the element of surprise on their side, and with their combined powers...maybe it wasn't completely hopeless after all.
The faint look of hope in his eyes didn't go unnoticed to Diana and she continued, trying to get through to him. "You know Kyle isn't helpless - he has his powers, and that alone is enough to keep him alive through a whole lot. And Suzuka is a fighter - she's not going to give up, and even if they get into unexpected trouble, she knows how to defend herself."
Ryan nodded slightly, his mind slowly starting to register her arguments. The doubt was still there, yes, but weaker than before, pushed away by the confidence and trust he felt from Diana. "We still have a few days...if Daryn practices using his powers from a distance..."
Diana nodded, encouraged by what she saw. "I'll tell him to do that," she replied. "Anything else?"
Ryan paused for a moment, considering the situation and his talk with Kyle. He wasn't strong enough to keep them in direct contact constantly, but he had gotten the most important details. Now, they needed to plan it a bit better. Hal had managed to get the blueprints - how, Ryan wasn't sure, and in all honesty he didn't want to know, either.
"Go get Ben, and then let's have a talk with Hal and Zack," he decided. "We need to figure out the details of our plan, and I think those two are most likely to know what kind of situation we're walking into. They'll also know how Blade and Melee will act in a situation like this, and I want to know exactly what to expect from those two - we don't need any ugly surprises."
Diana nodded again, silently encouraging him to go, but Ryan barely noticed it, caught up in his own thoughts, slowly starting to put together the complex puzzle. And with every piece that fit in, he felt his own hopes increase - maybe this could work after all.
"We'll need a way to get inside, too - I can't manipulate that many minds at one time," he continued.
"The others might have some ideas," Diana suggested. "They must have tried using fake IDs before."
Ryan nodded. "My thoughts exactly." He paused, mentally going through the last part of the conversation again, and nodded, satisfied with what he found. "I think that's all for now," he decided. "Go get Ben, Hal, and Zack - I'll be out in a moment."
Diana nodded and got up, heading across the room when Ryan's voice stopped her.
"Diana..." The girl looked up questioningly, waiting for him to continue. "Thank you. I think I needed that."
She smiled, a hint of good-natured teasing in her eyes. "You did. And you're welcome."
She walked out the room, closing the door behind her, and for a long moment Ryan sat on the bed thoughtfully, then nodded again. Yes...with planning, and some luck, it might not be hopeless after all it. With a little luck, it could work.
It had to.
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