A/N 1: Ideas for fic and character development, questions, plotbunnies, suggestions, flames, character pictures, ficlets, corrections, additions, comments, and everything in between can be mailed to hack_heaven@usa.net.
A/N 2: The interlude takes place a few hours after chapter 72.
Italics indicates thoughts/telepathy
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Eighteenth Interlude: Uncertainties
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"Ryan?"
The telepath looked up, meeting Ben's light blue gaze curiously. It was easy to dismiss the young healer as someone shy and timid, but to those who knew him like Ryan did, it was clear that there was far more to Ben that met the eye. Yes, the boy preferred to remain silent, and often sought refuge in solitude, but his eyes never stopped their observation of the world around him, and the mind that worked behind the blue gaze was anything but fragile.
"Could I talk to you for a moment?" Ben continued, his eyes never leaving Ryan's.
Ryan nodded slowly. "Sure." In all honesty he would have preferred to get some sleep, to catch up on the rest that his body longed for, but he also knew that Ben would not have asked like that if it hadn't been important.
He sat down in the couch and got comfortable and watched as Ben did the same. For a moment it was silent, the room around them empty, the other most likely getting ready for bed, and then Ben sighed softly.
"What's going to happen, Ryan?"
Ryan frowned, a bit confused about the words. "What do you mean? The mission, or-"
Ben shook his head. "No, I mean after that." He paused, gathering his thoughts, and then continued. "What's going to happen with us, with the team?"
Ryan paused, not sure what to reply. What could he say? Well, if my plan won't get all of us killed, we'll have to somehow get out of a town heavily guarded by the FoH, and then try to sneak across the border. And if *that* doesn't kill us, I'm sure there'll be other ugly surprises waiting for us.
Ryan shook his head slowly, dismissing the dark thoughts. "We'll try to get out of town unnoticed, and then head south. After that...I don't know," he admitted. A pause, then - "Why? Is something wrong?"
His concern was clear in the words, and Ben sighed softly, tiredly, and rested his head in his hands. "I was just worried."
Ryan nodded slowly, sensing something still hidden behind Ben's soft words, and let his gaze rest on the younger mutant for a moment. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
He sounded uncomfortable, almost defensive, and that only added to Ryan's nagging suspicion that his friend was hiding something. Again the room fell silent, then Ryan moved slightly on the couch to get a bit more comfortable, resigning himself to the fact that sleep would have to wait.
"I know you, Benji, and you're a lousy liar," Ryan sighed. "What's wrong?"
Another long moment passed, the silence growing almost uncomfortable, hanging heavily in the air around them before Ben finally reacted. "I know about you and Diana."
Softly spoken words, almost hesitant, but they were all that was needed to bring back every suppressed fear and half-formed doubt in Ryan's mind. Ben was a smart guy, Ryan knew that, and if he was worried about Diana, then there had to be a good reason.
"I didn't-" Ryan began, trying to explain that he hadn't hurt Diana, that he would die before causing her harm, but Ben shook his head, cutting off Ryan's objections.
"You don't have to explain anything to me, Ryan. I'm not going to object - I'm not blind, you know. I can see how much she adore you, and I know you'd never hurt her. And....if you two decide to get together, then I'm happy for you."
Ben paused, sorting through his thoughts again, and Ryan remained silent, waiting for his friend to continue. Something told him that Ben wasn't finished yet, and he knew that interruptions would only make things that much harder for the younger mutant to explain.
"I..." Ben trailed off, then seemed to force himself to continue. "I thought it was Deirdre at first, during the escape from the internment camp. You seemed so happy to see her, and..."
"I was happy to see all of you alive and well," Ryan replied softly, the truth of the words clear in his voice.
"I know," Ben replied. "I just..." he shook his head. "It was just that seeing you greet Deirdre like that made me wonder."
"About what?" Ryan asked, encouraging him to continue. Ben's doubts and worries were clear to the telepath, and he knew that the best way to get rid of at least a few of those worries would be to talk about them.
Ben sighed, an unusual weariness in the motions. "I was just thinking that...if you fall in love with someone, then what's going to happen with the rest of us? I know I'm just being paranoid, but I can't stop wondering if we'll slowly slide apart until the team is gone. The logical part of me knows it won't happen, but..." he trailed off, then continued almost inaudibly. "I don't want to be forgotten."
"You won't be," Ryan promised quietly, Ben's words still whispering in his mind as a few more pieces in the complicated puzzle fell into place. That certainly explained a few things, didn't it? Ben's oddly pale smiles, the lack of optimism in his eyes and words...yes. It definitely explained a few things.
"Ben..." the boy looked up, meeting Ryan's eyes, and the telepath continued. "I won't forget about you or the team, just because I meet someone I like. We've known each other for years, remember? You can't just forget about a friendship that's lasted through that much."
Ben sighed. "I know, I was just..."
"Worried?" Ryan suggested, a sympathetic smile on his lips, and Ben nodded.
"Yeah."
Ryan nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful. "It's understandable...with all the things that's been going on recently, I think we're all concerned about something."
Ben smiled faintly, and for the first time in days there was a hint of the old warmth in the small gesture. "You know, it's a miracle that nobody has gotten into a fight yet...in all honesty, I hadn't expected the truce to last."
Ryan shook his head. "I had my doubts, too, but..." he paused briefly. "Hal's a fairly good leader...she seems to be able to keep them from getting into any serious argument with us. And I think our attempts to keep Deirdre and West away from Jhonen have helped a bit, too."
"I think so, too," Ben agreed, then frowned. "She's young for a leader, isn't she?"
Ryan raised an eyebrow. "Hal?" he asked, and was met with a nod. "She is," he admitted, "but she's also the only one of them who'd be able to fill that position. This way, at least we won't get into any arguments about who's supposed to obey who."
"True," Ben admitted, another faint smile lingering on his lips as he slowly got up from the couch. "I think I'll go to bed now. Sorry for keeping you up."
Ryan shook his head, but remained in the couch, not quite willing to get up yet. "It's okay. That's what friends are for, right?" he added, the hint of a teasing smile on his lips.
Ben nodded. "I guess so, yeah." He hesitated for a moment, then continued. "Diana...she's a sweet girl. Take good care of her, okay?" the worry was clear in his words, and Ryan nodded.
"I will."
Ben smiles faintly, the drowsiness starting to catch up with him, and he walked down the hallway, heading for his room. Ryan waited for a moment, then slowly got up as well, his mind replaying the conversation, lingering on the last, few comments.
"Take good care of her, okay?"
"I will," he repeated softly to himself, the words etched into his mind, reminding him of the responsibility he had to Diana. "I will..."
...I promise.
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