Acoustic No. 3

Music was invented to confirm human loneliness.

                                       -     Lawrence Durrell

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The rhythm of fingers that glided against tender strings, the song that had never failed to make him recall… they were all too much.

He laid the guitar on my bed gently, smiling bitterly. Here he was, strumming away for no one but memories…

Oh, but sweet memories they were. Emptiness was easily forgotten once his nostrils were filled of a missing scent, and his sight clouded by a vision of a non-existent person.

Foolishly, he reached out a longing, trembling hand…

The surreal image vanished like mist. He was thrown back, back to the darkness, back to emptiness.  But he knew they would come back if…

His gaze shifted towards the guitar, gleaming under the pale moonlight, luring him to create more hallucinations, more memories… he hesitated for a moment, blinking at his only solace, then submits to the tempting dreams that drive all of the demons that walk in him away…

It was a vicious cycle. But he needed to play, and dream, and imagine, because they were what persuades him to keep himself alive. If he confines himself in reality… god knows how much harm he would have caused.

He looked outside, the stars slowly filling the abysmal shadows that leaked through the sleeping earth. Oddly, he didn't want to retire to the comforts of his dreams… for the very first time after she had left, he wanted to share them. The pain, the guilt, the hate… they were all so immense, so heavy, that soon he might never be able to walk any longer, and those images and renditions would not be enough to keep him holding on to his sanity…

And he knew who just to go to.

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"Really, Ha-san, this is a first time that YOU started a drinking session."

He snorted as he took another swig.  "Surprising?"

His companion laughed heartily as he poured some on his own glass. "You make me think."

He breathed heavily, liquor intoxicating his thinking. His slurred eyes focused on Shigure…

Shigure…He was right there, sitting in front of him, talking, whining and laughing like there was no tomorrow. The urge to tell about his solitude, his remorse, and his sadness was mounting high.

They were all too much.

"Oi, Ha-san! We still have some wine left! Don't be a damn spoilsport!"

He needed to tell everything… everything…

"Ha-san…"

His faults…

"Drink…"

His abhorrence…

"Some…"

All too much…

"More…"

"WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN INSENSITIVE, BAKA INU?!"

He didn't know what made him shout or accuse that inhumanly. All he felt was an unexplainable desire to vent his anger and let his emotions control him…

But at the sight of Shigure's bewildered face…

He took a deep breath. No, he couldn't afford to lose his best friend by allowing his feelings to stupidly reign over his mind…

"Gomen nasai."

The words were barely a whisper. He clenched his fingers, fearing about the other man's reaction. Was he angry? Or hurt? Would he be cold to him in return?

But Shigure replied with words much unexpected…

"Daijoubu, ka?"

He wanted to say he was well, but he didn't have the heart to speak. Instead, he moved his lips to a small, grateful smile.

No luck. It didn't stop his tears.

He buried his face in his hands. He felt so vulnerable and stupid, crying like this. He thought that he was strong, that he'd never cry…

But… why was he weeping now?

A pair of arms suddenly wrapped around him. He wanted to shake them off, but, peculiarly, his body remained motionless.

This was good. This was wonderful.

"Don't cry, ne? There's just no point in crying."

Shigure.

He leaned onto the sturdy frame, sighing intently at the affectionate embrace.

"… thank you."

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And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming
No one's listening anyway…

                       - Acoustic No. 3 (Goo Goo Dolls)

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lethal_virus04 My very, very first Furuba fic… I hope you'll like it. This is the result of two days of making my brain work. Hatori also goes OOC. Oh, and I would say that the story has no connection with the title itself. Hehehehehe.

disclaimers I do not own Furuba. Repeat 1000x.

lethal_virus04 Not really shounen-ai… but you can take it that way. :D