Title: Static Cling and Other Things
Started: 11/29/02
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story


Chapter 3: You're next Cowboy



Since almost everyone was in the Secret Area of the Training Seifer figured that now would be a good time to start his next revenge, so he headed back to the dorm room that he shared with Irvine.

Seifer: (This is great. With tha Cowboy wannabe trying to get a glimpse at Instructor Trepe's... personals, this will be my chance to get him) MWAHAHAHAHA.

*Seifer was just simply stared at by the few students that were walking around. They all figured that he had been working a little too hard*

*Seifer and Irvine's dorm room*

Seifer: That pathetic fool. He doesn't think I know about his *dramatic pause and music* "Porn Collection" *Dum Dum Dummmmm*

*And Seifer, being true to his word (for once), managed to find about 30 or so of Irvine's "educational magazines" (well that's how Irvine described them anyway).

Seifer: Ugh, what the hell is up with that loser? He must be trading with Zone's or something. Either that or the "Girl Next Door" company is going out of business.

*Seifer continued to ponder this all the way to the Library because all of the magazines were the "Hick Next Door", or "I Wanna Hold Your Gun"* O-O()

Seifer: *Walks through the Library door* Good, no one else is in here. Now I continue on with my plan. MWAHAHAHAHA. *Seifer goes into the back of the Library and sits down at the table. (Seifer's laughing is probably the reason why people are stearing clear of him)

*The reason why Seifer chose the library was simple. He remembered Squall telling him once how he found an unusual magazine. Seifer figured that well if Squall could do it then so can he*

*A few hours later. Apparantly Seifer was in luck because he managed to complete part of his objective. Now all he needed to do was go to Miss Pixie Stix's room*

*Outside Miss Pixie Stix's room*

Seifer: *Knocks on the door and yells in an overly cheerful voice* Ohhhhh Selphiieeee. I want to tallllkkk to you. Can I come in?

Selphie: *Opens the door* Hi hi hi hi hi. How are you doing Seifer? I'm fine. Isn't it a nice day? Or it it night? It's so hot today. It rocks! Or is it cold today? Here. Go buy yourself a juice or something. *Kaching* *For some strange reason Selphie hands Seifer 50 Gil*

Seifer: That's real, real, real, real, real, real nice Sephie Poo but what I'd reallllly like would be one of your Maaaagical Pixie Stix. How about it?

Selphie: Ohhhhhh. One of my Maaaagical Pixie Stix.

Seifer: Yeah. one of your Maaaagical Pixie Stix.

Selphie: Sorry Seifie Poo, but my Maaaagical Pixie Stix are only for Irvy Kinny Poo. How about a regular, not so magical, one though?

Seifer: Realllly. Ok Sephie Poo.

*Selphie goes to get some regular Pixie Stix for Seifie Poo. While Selphie had her back towards Seifer he manged to slip the, er, educational magazines, into a place where Selphie would find them*

Selphie: Ahhhhh, I found them Seifie Poo. Here is your, not so magical, Pixie Stix.

Seifer: Oh thank yoooouuu Sephie Poo. I will always treasure this. Wheeeee.

*With that Seifie Poo happily, er, skipped out of Sephie Poo's room*

Selphie: *Yells out the door really loudly* COME BACK AGAIN SEIFIE POO. MAYBE IF YOU'RE LUCKY NEXT TIME YOU CAN HAVE MY MAAAAGICAL PIXIE STIX!!!!!!

*So much for Seifer trying to sneak away*

Seifer: (Oh well. At least the mission was a success) MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

*By now everyone is either staying out of Seifer's way, or there's a poll going as to what he's on. Seifer figured that is wasn't safe to go back to the room just yet so he decided to head to the Cafeteria*

*In the Cafeteria. Seifer is sitting at a table near a couple of love-struck Trepies. While eating one of the, not so magical, Pixie Stix Seifer kicked back and waited for the "fun" to begin. He didn't have to wait long before a pissed as hell Selphie came in, followed by a whimpering Irvine*

Selphie: I don't want to hear it Irvy Kinny Poo. You could have told me at the beginning.

Irvine: But, but, but, but Sephie. I really don't know how this happened.

Selphie: Oh really now. I go out of my way to give you my magical Pixie Stix only to find out that you really like guys.

Irvine: Have you not been getting enough sugar Selphie? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about.

Selphie: Oh, don't you? Then how do you explain THIS? *Dum Dum Dummmm* *Selphie holds up one of Irvine's "Hick Next Door" magazines where all the faces of the girl models have been replaced with *gasp* guys faces.

Irvine: *Looks about ready to pass out* WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP? I DON'T LIKE GUYS AND THOSE AREN'T EVEN MY PORN MAGAZINES, THEY'RE MY GUN MAGAZINES. WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK ONE OF THEM IS CALLED "I WANNA HOLD YOUR GUN"?
HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN THOSE CAR MAGAZINES THAT HAVE THE FEMALE MODELS?

Selphie: *As red as a Licorice* WAIT JUST A GOSH DARN MINUTE. I CAN EXCUSE THESE AS BEING GUN MAGAZINES, CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT ALL THE MODELS ARE WEARING SWIM SUITS. BUT WHAT, IRVY KINNY POO, DID YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAID "THOSE AREN'T MY PORN MAGAZINES"!?

Irvine: *Is pretty much scared shitless* Uhhhhh. Idon'tknowwhat you'retalkingaboutSelphiePoo.DidIsaythosearen'tmypornmagazines?It'struebecauseIgotridofallthosebaddirtymagazines.Itwon'thappenagain,promise.Uhh,gottagoSephie. *Runs out of the Cafeteria as if his life depended on it. Either that or his prized hat and gun collection*

Selphie: *Looks like a volcanoe right about now* COME BACK HERE IRVINE CAUSE I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET. ME AND MY NUNCHAKU NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE ONE-ON-ONE WITH YOU. IN THE TRAINING CENTER. *Goes running after Irvine*

Seifer: (That was even better than I could have hoped for. I was wondering while all those models were dressed though. Oh well. Now I can move onto that sugar loving freak and I think I know just the way to do it too). MWAHAHAHAHAHA. *Is oblivious to the fact that everyone has moved away from him and the Cafeteria is now completely empty, except for a tumbleweed that rolls by from out of the middle of nowhere*

Seifer: *Stares at the tumbleweed* Hmm. I guess Angelo must be shedding now. Oh well. *Gets up and walks out of the Cafeteria while thinking of what to do to his next victim*



END


Short? Yes! Stupid? Yes! Review? Yes!