Title: Static Cling and Other Things
Started: 11/29/02
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story
Chapter 6: Herbal Tea and Santa don't mix
It's a brand new day and dear old Seifer is once again on the prowl for his next prank. Today our journey begins with Seifer planning to have a little talk with Headmaster Cid.
Seifer: (Soon. Very soon. I will show them what happens when you mock Seifer Almasy. But until then I should see about blackmailing that old fart with the picture I took of him. I'm sure Edea could have picked out some better pajamas than that Moogle Suit. But now her fault will be my triumph and I can finally obtain SeeD Rank A). MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*At that instant all the students either hid under their desks or jumped into closets for they still did not know what was causing that eerie laugh*
Seifer: (Time to go pay the old man a little visit). *He heads to the elevator and gets on. Once it reaches the third floor he gets off and heads to Cid's office. He knocks on the door*
Cid: The doors open Snookie Poo.
*Seifer walks in*
Cid: *Slightly disgruntled* Oh, it's you. I thought it was my lovely Edea.
Seifer: (Hmph. I still find it hard to believe at times that matron married this old fart). Uh, no sir. I came here because I wanted to talk to you about something.
Cid: Hmm, alright. Have a seat boy. *He gestures to one of the chairs in front of his desk*
Seifer: (Dammit. What the hell is up with him calling me a boy. First Edea and now him). Yes sir. *Sits down*. This won't take long at all. I wanted to discuss with you the thoughts of my becoming a Rank A SeeD. What do you say?
Cid: *Staring at Seifer like he grew another arm and then suddenly bursts out laughing. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You? A Rank A SeeD. What the hell ever gave you the idea that you could become a Rank A SeeD? I suppose next you'll be wanting to become commander or something. Too bad sonny cause the only Rank A SeeD and commander that we have is Squall and that's exactly how it's going to stay. That was a pretty good joke though.
Seifer: *His left eye is twitching slighlty* I see. Well I thought that you might say something like that so I came prepared. Listen carefuly old man. If you don't make me a Rank A SeeD right this minute I'm going to post these all through out the halls of Balamb Garden. *With that Seifer holds up a picture of *Dum Dum Dummmmm* Cid in his Moogle Suit. MWAHAHAH AHAHAHA. I have you now Cid.
Cid: *Just stares at the picture* Oh. So you're the weirdo that's been laughing through the Garden like a fool. I was also wondering what that bright flash of light I saw was. I had just assumed that it was because of Selphie's little wake-up call that morning. Why would you want a picture of me though?
Seifer: *Is rather dumbfounded* What do you mean "Why"? I took this clearly for blackmail reasons. Now make me a Rank A SeeD. Unless you want me to make copies of this and spread them around the Garden.
Cid: Like I care. Nearly everyone already saw me in my Moogle Suit that morning so it doesn't really matter if they see me in it again.
Seifer: *Now his right eye is starting to twitch* YOU FOOL. IF YOU DON'T MAKE ME A RANK A SeeD I'LL POST THESE OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD.
Cid: Pshaw. I don't care. I've seen worse. And as for blackmailing people you really suck at it. I have to go now though. I'm meeting Edea in Delling City. She wants to shop for a new dress for when we go to the president re-election since she fried the last one. Lock the door when you leave Seifer. Ta ta for now. *Cid gets up and walks out the door*
Seifer: *Is just too stunned to really move* (I can't believe it. After all the effort I put into this, not to mention the fact that I wasted a picture, that old fart goes and pulls something like this. I didn't want to resort to this but now the badger has really pissed me off). *Seifer gets up, walks over to where Cid's special herbal tea is stored and puts a packet of blue powder into one of them* (Now I just have to wait until he makes a cup of tea and then strike. The old fool won't know what he's gotten himself into until it's too late. At last victory will be mine). MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Meanwhile, in the SeeD garage where Cid is getting a car*
Cid: Ah, it looks like Seifer finally got the joke.
*Time passes and Cid later returns from his shopping trip with Edea. He is extremely tired and goes straight to bed.*
*The next day*
Cid: Ah, what a good nights sleep I had. Now it's time for my morning tea.
*Unknown to Cid, Seifer had waited all night in his office hiding waiting for cid to return. Cid goes about making his tea and then sits down in his chair to enjoy it. Cid still doesn't notice Seifer, even when the potted plant moves closer to Cid. Within a few moments Cid has finished his tea*
Cid: That was a damn good cup of tea. I'll have to get Edea to pick up some more for me. *Cid leans back in his chair and promptly falls asleep*
Seifer: (Geez that guy snores like a Wendigo. How can Edea deal with that? Maybe she casts a Silence spell on him or something. At least I know that he'll be out and I'll be able to complete this part of the mission).
*And complete it he does for when Seifer was finished Cid now resembled a jolly fat man. Well Cid always looked like that, but now he happened to be wearing a bright red outfit complete with matching red hat. It looked as if he even had a white beard on....*
Seifer: *Gets up and quietly walks out of Cid's office*(That will show that old goat not to mess with Seifer J.Almasy. Now all I need to do is wait for him to wake up. Welcome to hell Cid Kramer. The ride has just begun). MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
*All of the Upper Classmen were at outdoor training sessions so they didn't hear the evil cackle, but unfortunately the Junior Classmen weren't as lucky. They all bolted out of their classrooms all the while shouting things like "Diablos has come to drain our life away", "Agh, Doomtrain will curse us all", and a few even shouted "Where oh where is my Carbuncle Plushie". Now mind you that the combination of Seifer's creepy ass laugh as well as the commotion that the students made had finally managed to wake up Cid. Of course Cid was still a little foggy at the time and was currently unaware of his, ahem, outfit at the moment. None the less Cid rose to the occasion and proceeded to calmly find out just what was going on at the moment. Cid is now down in front of the elevator where all the students were huddling in fear of the laugh the had heard a few minutes ago. However their eyes shone with glee when Cid appeared. Cid wasn't exactly as pleased to see them though and proceeded to tell them just that*
Cid: ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE BRATS JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? I'M IN MY OFFICE MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU YOUNGSTERS DECIDE TO LEAVE YOUR CLASSROOMS AND GO SCREAMING THROUGH THE GARDEN. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THIS IS, A HOLIDAY?
*Cid puzzled at this as almost the entire student body nodded or mumbled yes*
Student A: Sure we due Mr.Clause, it's Christmas.
Cid: No it isn't. Christmas isn't at least for another week or so. And it's Mr.Kramer, not Clause.
Student B: Dont' be silly Mr.Clause. We know that since the elves are all on strike you have to start doing things a little sooner this year. We don't mind though. A bunch of us can go and bake some Tonberry Pie for you so just wait while you talk to all the students here.
Cid: Well I do like pie but, wait a minute.... What elves? There aren't any elves here.
Student C: Well this ain't the North Pole and... Ah screw it, let's just get the toys. Charge!!!
Cid: Toys? What toys? Oh no! Agghhhhh. *Cid starts to run as all the students chase after him demanding toys
Student A: Come on Mr.Clause. We all want to sit on your lap and tell you our 30 page list of wants. Or if it's easier for you we can send it Chocobo Express.
Cid: Come on kids I don't have that kind of money. All of it goes to Squall's paycheck.
Student B: If you need help I'm sure Mrs.Clause would be happy to lend a hand. I'm sure that incident with Jack Frost was only a one time thing. Meanwhile we can make you some Tonberry Pie.
Cid: But what about my wife Edea?
Student C: What? You mean you've been two timing it with the headmasters wife? We'll get you for that you sleazy bastard. Charge!!!
*For a fat old man Cid managed to run pretty fast. At one point Cid managed to catch a glimpse of himself in the water that circled around the garden and he relized that he really was dressed as Santa Clause. Even the boy jogger joined in and kept saying "Ok, another round" or something like that. Everyone was too busy chasing Santa Cid to notice a smirking Seifer lurking in the corner. Or it could have been that they just give a crap. Anyways this was how the older students found them when they returned from their outdoor classes. Selphie and Rinoa giggled, Irvine tried to hide behind his hat, Zell joined in the chase and kept asking Santa Cid for some "real" hot dogs, Quistis ran after Zell and tried to gain control of the situation with her whip, which only ended up breaking of several large slabs of concrete off the walls. Oh, and Squall, well he just sort of put his face in his hand and started praying that he'd wake up from this horrible nightmare soon. Cid by now has started to wind down. He finally stops but only because he accidently falls into a hole that Quistis had made. Someone had stepped on her foot and she retaliated by using her Homing Laser technique. Cid had just about had enough*
Cid: ENOUGH!(A/N: See, I told you) FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME I AM NOT SANTA CLAUSE AND THAT MEANS THAT I DO NOT HAVE ANY TOYS. CHRISTMAS ISN'T FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER WEEK SO DON'T BE THINKING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE GETTING ANY GIFTS EARLY. OFF TO BED NOW OR I'LL START THINKING ABOUT PUTTING A LUMP OF BLACK MATERIA IN YOUR STOCKING. NOW SCOOT!
*And scoot they did. Whether it was because of Cid's words or the fact that Seifer had started laughing again one can not be sure. The older students went back to there rooms. Seifer had hurried on ahead of Irvine so that Irvine wouldn't find out that he had been the cause of that whole mess. But Seifer couldn't resist. He just couldn't help bit let out one small cackle of glee*
Seifer: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*At that instant Irvine opened the door and entered the room. Seifer stopped cackling instantly, not knowing if Irvine had heard him or not*
Irvine: Uh, Seifer?
Seifer: *Starting to sweat lightly* What is it Cowboy?
Irvine: No offense but.... Has enyone ever told you that you sing like a dying Catoblepas?
Seifer: *Starts to breathe again* Yeah well, you act like freaking Cockatrice. Just goes to sleep you loser. *Promptly turns over onto his side and shuts his eyes*
Irvine: Yeah sure. Whatever you say partner. *Gets into a bed and starts to go to sleep*
*Three hours later Seifer opens his eyes with a full understanding of what Irvine had said to him. Seifer gets up and quietly goes and stands next to Irvine*
Seifer: *At full volume* AND DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME "PARTNER" AGAIN YOU SICK PERVERT! *Satisfied at disturbing a now confused Irvine Seifer proceeds to go back to sleep and to dream up who his next victim should be*
Short? Yes! Stupid? Yes! Review? Yes!
Started: 11/29/02
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story
Chapter 6: Herbal Tea and Santa don't mix
It's a brand new day and dear old Seifer is once again on the prowl for his next prank. Today our journey begins with Seifer planning to have a little talk with Headmaster Cid.
Seifer: (Soon. Very soon. I will show them what happens when you mock Seifer Almasy. But until then I should see about blackmailing that old fart with the picture I took of him. I'm sure Edea could have picked out some better pajamas than that Moogle Suit. But now her fault will be my triumph and I can finally obtain SeeD Rank A). MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*At that instant all the students either hid under their desks or jumped into closets for they still did not know what was causing that eerie laugh*
Seifer: (Time to go pay the old man a little visit). *He heads to the elevator and gets on. Once it reaches the third floor he gets off and heads to Cid's office. He knocks on the door*
Cid: The doors open Snookie Poo.
*Seifer walks in*
Cid: *Slightly disgruntled* Oh, it's you. I thought it was my lovely Edea.
Seifer: (Hmph. I still find it hard to believe at times that matron married this old fart). Uh, no sir. I came here because I wanted to talk to you about something.
Cid: Hmm, alright. Have a seat boy. *He gestures to one of the chairs in front of his desk*
Seifer: (Dammit. What the hell is up with him calling me a boy. First Edea and now him). Yes sir. *Sits down*. This won't take long at all. I wanted to discuss with you the thoughts of my becoming a Rank A SeeD. What do you say?
Cid: *Staring at Seifer like he grew another arm and then suddenly bursts out laughing. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You? A Rank A SeeD. What the hell ever gave you the idea that you could become a Rank A SeeD? I suppose next you'll be wanting to become commander or something. Too bad sonny cause the only Rank A SeeD and commander that we have is Squall and that's exactly how it's going to stay. That was a pretty good joke though.
Seifer: *His left eye is twitching slighlty* I see. Well I thought that you might say something like that so I came prepared. Listen carefuly old man. If you don't make me a Rank A SeeD right this minute I'm going to post these all through out the halls of Balamb Garden. *With that Seifer holds up a picture of *Dum Dum Dummmmm* Cid in his Moogle Suit. MWAHAHAH AHAHAHA. I have you now Cid.
Cid: *Just stares at the picture* Oh. So you're the weirdo that's been laughing through the Garden like a fool. I was also wondering what that bright flash of light I saw was. I had just assumed that it was because of Selphie's little wake-up call that morning. Why would you want a picture of me though?
Seifer: *Is rather dumbfounded* What do you mean "Why"? I took this clearly for blackmail reasons. Now make me a Rank A SeeD. Unless you want me to make copies of this and spread them around the Garden.
Cid: Like I care. Nearly everyone already saw me in my Moogle Suit that morning so it doesn't really matter if they see me in it again.
Seifer: *Now his right eye is starting to twitch* YOU FOOL. IF YOU DON'T MAKE ME A RANK A SeeD I'LL POST THESE OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD.
Cid: Pshaw. I don't care. I've seen worse. And as for blackmailing people you really suck at it. I have to go now though. I'm meeting Edea in Delling City. She wants to shop for a new dress for when we go to the president re-election since she fried the last one. Lock the door when you leave Seifer. Ta ta for now. *Cid gets up and walks out the door*
Seifer: *Is just too stunned to really move* (I can't believe it. After all the effort I put into this, not to mention the fact that I wasted a picture, that old fart goes and pulls something like this. I didn't want to resort to this but now the badger has really pissed me off). *Seifer gets up, walks over to where Cid's special herbal tea is stored and puts a packet of blue powder into one of them* (Now I just have to wait until he makes a cup of tea and then strike. The old fool won't know what he's gotten himself into until it's too late. At last victory will be mine). MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Meanwhile, in the SeeD garage where Cid is getting a car*
Cid: Ah, it looks like Seifer finally got the joke.
*Time passes and Cid later returns from his shopping trip with Edea. He is extremely tired and goes straight to bed.*
*The next day*
Cid: Ah, what a good nights sleep I had. Now it's time for my morning tea.
*Unknown to Cid, Seifer had waited all night in his office hiding waiting for cid to return. Cid goes about making his tea and then sits down in his chair to enjoy it. Cid still doesn't notice Seifer, even when the potted plant moves closer to Cid. Within a few moments Cid has finished his tea*
Cid: That was a damn good cup of tea. I'll have to get Edea to pick up some more for me. *Cid leans back in his chair and promptly falls asleep*
Seifer: (Geez that guy snores like a Wendigo. How can Edea deal with that? Maybe she casts a Silence spell on him or something. At least I know that he'll be out and I'll be able to complete this part of the mission).
*And complete it he does for when Seifer was finished Cid now resembled a jolly fat man. Well Cid always looked like that, but now he happened to be wearing a bright red outfit complete with matching red hat. It looked as if he even had a white beard on....*
Seifer: *Gets up and quietly walks out of Cid's office*(That will show that old goat not to mess with Seifer J.Almasy. Now all I need to do is wait for him to wake up. Welcome to hell Cid Kramer. The ride has just begun). MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
*All of the Upper Classmen were at outdoor training sessions so they didn't hear the evil cackle, but unfortunately the Junior Classmen weren't as lucky. They all bolted out of their classrooms all the while shouting things like "Diablos has come to drain our life away", "Agh, Doomtrain will curse us all", and a few even shouted "Where oh where is my Carbuncle Plushie". Now mind you that the combination of Seifer's creepy ass laugh as well as the commotion that the students made had finally managed to wake up Cid. Of course Cid was still a little foggy at the time and was currently unaware of his, ahem, outfit at the moment. None the less Cid rose to the occasion and proceeded to calmly find out just what was going on at the moment. Cid is now down in front of the elevator where all the students were huddling in fear of the laugh the had heard a few minutes ago. However their eyes shone with glee when Cid appeared. Cid wasn't exactly as pleased to see them though and proceeded to tell them just that*
Cid: ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE BRATS JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? I'M IN MY OFFICE MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU YOUNGSTERS DECIDE TO LEAVE YOUR CLASSROOMS AND GO SCREAMING THROUGH THE GARDEN. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THIS IS, A HOLIDAY?
*Cid puzzled at this as almost the entire student body nodded or mumbled yes*
Student A: Sure we due Mr.Clause, it's Christmas.
Cid: No it isn't. Christmas isn't at least for another week or so. And it's Mr.Kramer, not Clause.
Student B: Dont' be silly Mr.Clause. We know that since the elves are all on strike you have to start doing things a little sooner this year. We don't mind though. A bunch of us can go and bake some Tonberry Pie for you so just wait while you talk to all the students here.
Cid: Well I do like pie but, wait a minute.... What elves? There aren't any elves here.
Student C: Well this ain't the North Pole and... Ah screw it, let's just get the toys. Charge!!!
Cid: Toys? What toys? Oh no! Agghhhhh. *Cid starts to run as all the students chase after him demanding toys
Student A: Come on Mr.Clause. We all want to sit on your lap and tell you our 30 page list of wants. Or if it's easier for you we can send it Chocobo Express.
Cid: Come on kids I don't have that kind of money. All of it goes to Squall's paycheck.
Student B: If you need help I'm sure Mrs.Clause would be happy to lend a hand. I'm sure that incident with Jack Frost was only a one time thing. Meanwhile we can make you some Tonberry Pie.
Cid: But what about my wife Edea?
Student C: What? You mean you've been two timing it with the headmasters wife? We'll get you for that you sleazy bastard. Charge!!!
*For a fat old man Cid managed to run pretty fast. At one point Cid managed to catch a glimpse of himself in the water that circled around the garden and he relized that he really was dressed as Santa Clause. Even the boy jogger joined in and kept saying "Ok, another round" or something like that. Everyone was too busy chasing Santa Cid to notice a smirking Seifer lurking in the corner. Or it could have been that they just give a crap. Anyways this was how the older students found them when they returned from their outdoor classes. Selphie and Rinoa giggled, Irvine tried to hide behind his hat, Zell joined in the chase and kept asking Santa Cid for some "real" hot dogs, Quistis ran after Zell and tried to gain control of the situation with her whip, which only ended up breaking of several large slabs of concrete off the walls. Oh, and Squall, well he just sort of put his face in his hand and started praying that he'd wake up from this horrible nightmare soon. Cid by now has started to wind down. He finally stops but only because he accidently falls into a hole that Quistis had made. Someone had stepped on her foot and she retaliated by using her Homing Laser technique. Cid had just about had enough*
Cid: ENOUGH!(A/N: See, I told you) FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME I AM NOT SANTA CLAUSE AND THAT MEANS THAT I DO NOT HAVE ANY TOYS. CHRISTMAS ISN'T FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER WEEK SO DON'T BE THINKING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE GETTING ANY GIFTS EARLY. OFF TO BED NOW OR I'LL START THINKING ABOUT PUTTING A LUMP OF BLACK MATERIA IN YOUR STOCKING. NOW SCOOT!
*And scoot they did. Whether it was because of Cid's words or the fact that Seifer had started laughing again one can not be sure. The older students went back to there rooms. Seifer had hurried on ahead of Irvine so that Irvine wouldn't find out that he had been the cause of that whole mess. But Seifer couldn't resist. He just couldn't help bit let out one small cackle of glee*
Seifer: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*At that instant Irvine opened the door and entered the room. Seifer stopped cackling instantly, not knowing if Irvine had heard him or not*
Irvine: Uh, Seifer?
Seifer: *Starting to sweat lightly* What is it Cowboy?
Irvine: No offense but.... Has enyone ever told you that you sing like a dying Catoblepas?
Seifer: *Starts to breathe again* Yeah well, you act like freaking Cockatrice. Just goes to sleep you loser. *Promptly turns over onto his side and shuts his eyes*
Irvine: Yeah sure. Whatever you say partner. *Gets into a bed and starts to go to sleep*
*Three hours later Seifer opens his eyes with a full understanding of what Irvine had said to him. Seifer gets up and quietly goes and stands next to Irvine*
Seifer: *At full volume* AND DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME "PARTNER" AGAIN YOU SICK PERVERT! *Satisfied at disturbing a now confused Irvine Seifer proceeds to go back to sleep and to dream up who his next victim should be*
Short? Yes! Stupid? Yes! Review? Yes!
