Title: Static Cling and Other Things
Started: 11/29/02
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story
A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I haven't felt like typing much lately. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 8: Angel of Desire
After the great success Seifer had at getting Laguna in some drag, he was feeling pretty good about himself. Well, that is until he bumped into an.... old friend.
Old Friend: Oh sorry about that I didn't see you... Oh, it's just you. Never mind you loser.
Seifer: *Rather sarcastically* How nice to see you Rinoa. I see that you haven't lost that adorable little humor that you like to fling around so much. Of course, you don't fling your humor around as much as you do other things *snicker*
Rinoa: *Giving Seifer the Evil Eye* Your right Seifer, so how about I fling my Blaster Edge at you? Of course I might not want to risk damaging it against that thick head of yours.
Seifer: You should be careful shooting that Blaster Edge aroung. You wouldn't want to break anything important, like a nail or something.
Rinoa: *sigh* Whatever creep. I wouldn't want anyone to see me associating with a crack head such as you. Besides, I have to go meet my Squall at the Beach. We're going Fastitocalon fishing. Hope I don't see you again anytime soon loser *And with that Rinoa walks out the front gate and goes to meet up with Squall*
Seifer: (..... Oh yeah, she wants me. Now all I need to do is figure out that how to make her see that Squall is not as great as she thinks he is. I think this calls for a little trip to the beach..... Of course I'd better make sure to take some of that "Son of Sun Sunscreen" that I just bought. Wouldn't want my nose to peel like last time)
*Meanwhile, at the Beach, the two love chocobo's are unaware that a presence is watching them from behind some bushes. Hint, hint, it's Seifer*
Rinoa: Sorry about being late earlier. I had to deal with some bad company.
Squall: What, did the Bite Bugs escape from the Training Center again?
Rinoa: No, Irvine too care of most of them with his bag of marshmellows. I'm talking about Seifer. That guy just won't stop pestering me. Why can't he get it through his thick head that after he tried to destroy the planet and all, well, I'm just not interested anymore.
Squall: In a way I don't blame the poor sap and it's because you're just so darn cute.
Rinoa: *Blushing Bright Red* Awww, how sweet. I've got to be the luckiest girl in the world. *tee-hee*
Squall: Well then this is going to be the cherry on the cake. *Starts to pull something out of his back pocket*
Rinoa:*Smiling* Er, don't you mean the icing on the cake? I think I can see some resemblance between you and your dad.
Squall: *Stops for a moment to think* Well, it doesn't really matter. I guess I do make mistakes at times, but it wouldn't matter a bit to me if you, Rinoa C.Heartilly, would do me the honer of becoming Mrs. Rinoa C. Leonhart. What do you say Rinoa? *With that Squall held out a silver ring identical to his Griever one, only this one was smaller*
Rinoa: *Is just standing there with her mouth gaping open for a few minutes* I... I do. Yes Squall, I will.
*Luckilly for Seifer the noise that Squall made was far louder than Seifer's squeal of defeat*
Seifer: (No, this can't be. Oh the horror. I was so close. Dammit how could I have missed the signs. Well I may have lost the battle, but the war has not yet been fought. I'll just have to find a way to humiliate the happy couple. Things are said to get interesting on the Honey Moon, so I think I'll set my trap around that. Just you wait Squall Leonhart. Your now in the calm before the storm). WMAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Of course at that time Squall was still making too much noise for either him or Rinoa to hear Seifer's cackle*
*The next day, in the Garden's Cafeteria, Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, Irvine, and Quistis were sitting at their usual table*
Zell: So you and Rinoa have finally decided to tie the knot.
Selphie: Yeah. We were all wondering when you would get around to it.
Squall: *Hmph* These things are tricky and should not be rushed into.
Quisitis: Well at least you proposed. I'm still waiting for Seifer to be man enough about to ask me.
Irvine: Hey Selphie, since we're all talking about weddings here what do you say to you and I getting hitched?
Selphie: Ummmmmm, ok! But only if we can get a sugar filled chocolate cake.
Rinoa: I have an idea. Since Squall and I are getting married, and now Selphie and Irvine, why don't we do a double wedding?
Squall: I don't see why not. It would be cheaper that way too.
Irvine: Oh and like you couldn't afford it, mister Rank A SeeD.
*Bet you're wondering were Seifer is. Well, why Squall and the rest of the gang are having a good time in the Cafeteria Seifer decided it was time to put his plan into action. He is now in Squall and Rinoa's room (Yes they're sharing a room) ;)*
Seifer: (If I can't have Rinoa then I might as well start making their marriage rocky. Twist this here... and plug this in there... and BINGO! One well placed, microscopic, state of the art, video camera. Those two better enjoy the evening while they can because it's going to get a little bumpy from now on. No one will suspect a thing). WMAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Squall and his friends were making too much noise at the time or else they would have noticed the evil laugh coming from Squall and Rinoa's room*
*The next day, which is also the day of the double wedding. The wedding is being held outside in front of the fountain and all of the residents are there. Well, all except for Seifer. Seems he was too tired to attend. Quistis was a flower girl and didn't look too happy about having to wear a frilly pink dress. Zell was the best man and was wearing his SeeD uniform. Cid, who was bawling his eyes out, walked both Rinoa and Selphie to where the grooms were waiting. Even Edea was there in a long grey dress. She thought that her usual black dress would make her look like she was going to a funeral.Squall and Irvine were both decked out in there best duds. Squall in his SeeD uniform (You know, the one he was wearing at the party after he became a seed), and Irvine was wearing a brown suit similar in color to his normal cowboy attire. Even Selphie hadn't managed to make him lose the hat for the ceremony. Selphie had on a yellow silk dress that was the same color as her jumper, and Rinoa had on a lovely blue dress that also matched her normal outfit. There were even silver wings sowed into the fabric on the back of the dress*
Priest: Welcome all on this joyous occasion. We are gathered here to unite Squall Leonhart and Rinoa Heartilly, as well as Irvine Kinneas and Selphie Tilmitt, in holy matrimony. Today will be a moment to remember always because it is the symbol of..... *Suddenly the preacher stopped talking in mid sentence*
Selphie: Uh, Mr.Preacher. Did you forget what you're supposed to say?
Squall: He better not be dead. I don't really feel like paying for two weddings and a funeral. *grumble, grumble*
Rinoa: No, wait. I don't think he's dead. listen.
*Everyone was silent for a few moments when.....*
Preacher: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZSNORXSNAWWWWWWWWWWWWSHZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Irvine: What the hell. That old fart fell alseep right in the middle of our wedding. Hey, wake up you old fossil. I'm not paying for you to sleep.
Squall: *Sarcastic* What are you talking about, Irvine? You're not paying for anything.
Irvine: Well yeah that's true. But seriously old man. WAKE UP!
Preacher: *Jerks awake* Huhhn snarlk gwuhzz zzat. Oh, yes. Let's see now, um. Our four uncles brought justice to this sinful land and may it rest in eternal peace, amen. Oh, and don't forget the coffee.
Selphie: Coffee?
Preacher: Well I like tea better. With lots of sugar and honey, oh yeah, and don't forget the lard.
Rinoa: Lard?
*About this time everyone is beginning to think that the old man did quite a bit of drugs in his youth*
Squall: *Grrrrrr* LISTEN YOU SENILE OLD FART. WE AREN'T HERE TO TALK ABOUT COFFEE, TEA, OR LARD. RINOA AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED. SELPHIE AND IRVINE ARE GETTING MARRIED. YOU ARE THE DUMB ASS PREACHER THAT HAS UNFORTUNATELY BEEN HIRED TO PERFORM THE CERAMONY. SO START PERFORMING!
Selphie: Amen!
Preacher: *Hmph* Well, if your going to get all huffy about it, then I'll just have to speed this up now. Ok then, do you Squall Leonhart take Rinoa Heartilly to be your wife?
Squall: Yes.
Preacher: And do you, Rinoa Heartilly, take Squall Leonhart to be your husband?
Rinoa: *blush* I do.
Preacher: Now do you, Irvine Kinneas, take Selphie Tilmitt to be your wife?
Irvine: Woo doggie, you bet I do.
Preacher: And lastly do you, Selphie Tilmitt, take Irvine to be to be your husband?
Selphie: Hell yeah!
Preacher: Very good. I know pronouce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride or groom or whoever the hell you want to. I'm getting out of here and may god have mercy on your sins. *And with that the Preacher storms out of the Garden*
Edea: It's about time.
Quistis: Now I can change out of this crappy dress. I need to go fight a T-Rexaur or something.
Zell: If you can find any T-Rexaurs that is. Thanks to that damn fertilizer all we seem to be getting are those stupid Bite Bugs.
Selphie: I thought Irvy Poo took care of those with the marshmellows?
Quistis: What about the Grats?
Zell: Joker of the CC Group took care of them. Said he was tired of being the Black Sheep of the club and wants to become a member of SOLDIER instead.
Squall: A member of what?
Quistis: Oh great. Now the Training Center is going to be just like any tropical forest.
Cid: Not to worry Quistis. I'll just have to bring some new monsters over. Let's see now. How about Instead of the usual batch of T-Rexaurs and Grats, we now will have Ruby Dragons and Malboros?
Quistis: Fine. Just as long as I get to kill something.
Irvine: Speaking of killing something, where did that loser Seifer get to?
Rinoa: He probably just couldn't bare the fact that Squall and I are now a married couple and will be joined together for the rest of time. Oh, and Squall, speaking of joing things together why don't we go back to our room and expand on that a bit.
Squall: *Is very interested in the idea but still tries to keep his "I don't give a crap" attitude* Whatever.
Rinoa: Whatever.
Irvine: Ha! She's already got you down Squall.
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Whatever.
Edea: Ok people. It's time for the brides and grooms to cut the cake and gifts.
Squall: Cake?
Rinoa: Yeah. In weddings it's a tradition for the bride and groom to cut a slice of cake and feed it to each other.
Irvine: Weird. (Oh well. At least Selphie will get her sugar buzz. Heh heh heh).
Selphie: Yay, cake!
Squall: Oh let's just hurry up and finish this. *And in one clean stroke he whips his Gunblade out of the middle of freaking no where, uses his Lion Heart Limit Break, and now the cake is in even slices. Enough for the whole party. Wow!*
Zell: Way to go Squall. You're better than those guys on the Iron Chef.
Squall: The what chef?
Rinoa: Look at all the stuff that people gave to us.
Selphie: Yay, presents!
*And a lot of stuff it was. Squall and Rinoa got the usual gifts of things like toasters, waffle makers, juicers, ect, ect. But they also got a cleaning kit (For Squall's Gunblade), and a new collar and leash (For Angelo, not Squall:)). Selphie and Irvine also got the traditional blender and coffee maker. Irvine got a 2 year subcription to "I Want to Hold Your Gun" (It's a magazine about guns, as stated in earlier chapters), and Selphie got a large box of Pixie Sticks. Now that the wedding was over the two couples set off on their next destination. Squall and Rinoa were heading back to their room to, uh, start the Honey Moon, while Irvine and Selphie were heading to Gold Saucer so they could bet on the Chocobo Races. All in all things seemed to be working out pretty well. Of course we all know that a certain other Gunblade weilding bad ass is up to something.*
*Meanwhile, back at Squall and Rinoa's love sha, er, their wonderfully clean and simple room*
Rinoa: I stil find it hard to believe that we'er finally married.
Squall: Yeah.
Rinoa: Well, now that we're husband and wife we can get down to business.
Squall: *Slight blush* Uhm, yeah.
Rinoa: Good. I have something I want to show you. Be right back *She now dashes off into the bathroom*
Squall: I hope she doesn't stay in there for hours.
*Several hours later. Squall had begun to think that the evil toilet monster had taken Rinoa or something and so he had fallen asleep. Even a certain camera man had dozed off*
Rinoa: *Who finally makes her appearance* I guess I was in there longer than I thought. Look at him. He's so cute when he's alseep. Not nearly as much of a grouch. Well, time to get things started then. *She walks over to Squall and gently shakes him awake*
Squall: Zzzzzzsnarzxerfoamfilledzzzsnaaafhuuuuuuhh. *Suddenly jerks awake when his eyes focus on what,or should a say who, is in front of him*
Rinoa: Oh how cute. You drooled a little in your sleep.
Squall: Uh, yeah. That's it. *Quickly wipes it off*
Rinoa: Sorry it took so long but this thing is so hard to change into.
Squall: Oh, that's ok. I can see that it was worth it.
*And worth it it was. Rinoa was now clad in a silky blue thong along with a rather sheer bodice. On her back was her usual silver winged motif. She had now shoes on but a gold bracelet around each ankle. She also had on gloves that went from the top of her elbow and down to her fingers where there were finger holes. On each wrist was another gold bracelet. Her neck had a matching gold chocker on it. To top it off her entire body was dotted with silver specks of body glitter. In fact, the whole outfit was down right blinding. The shine of it was even enough to wake up a snoring camera man*
Seifer: (Well it's about time. She never took this long in the bathroom when we were together. She never had anything like that either. Well this will certainly make up for it. Lights, camera, action! We'll see who has the last laugh and I have a pretty good guess who that's going to be). WMAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Due to the, er, noise that was being made in the other room, Seifer's evil laugh could not be heard*
*The next day*
Seifer: *Looks half alseep and is hiding in some bushes nearby* (Man am I tired. Not only did I get the pictures developed but I posted them too. Oh well. The events that will soon occure will be enough for me to sleep well. Ah, I see our two actors are in place. Let the show begin in 3, 2, 1, and..............ACTION).
Rinoa: HOLY CRAP I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. SQUALL, JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
Squall: Well I, I don't know.
Rinoa: IT'S ONE THING FOR A MARRIED COUPLE TO DO THIS KIND OF THING. I COULD EVEN UNDERSTAND IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE SOME PICTURES FOR YOURSELF. BUT THIS, THIS IS TOO MUCH!
Squall: Honestly sweety. I don't know how these got here. I certainly didn't put them up.
Rinoa: WELL THEN WHO DID?
*By now you all might be wondering what the whole commotion is about so I'll tell you. It seems that a certain someone has taken pictures of Rinoa when she was in her angel costume and has posted them all of the walls in the Garden. Now, I wonder who that could be?*
Squall: I'm sure that this is just some ass holes idea of a sick joke and I... HEY! GET AWAY FROM THERE YOU PERVETS!
*By now the yelling has gotten everyones attention including some rather hopless geeks. They seemed to have taken a liking to the pictures of Rinoa and had decided to get some as a souvenir. This, of course, doesn't make Squall very happy and who is now running around while swinging his Gunblade*
Squall: COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME YOU COWARDS. HOW DARE YOU TRY AND TAKE SOMEONE ELSES PROPERTY!
Rinoa: PROPERTY! WHO'S THE PROPERTY. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST PUT THAT COLLAR AND LEASH ON YOU!
*Squall now stops running and faces of against his spouse*
Squall: AND I BET IT WOULD LOOK BETTER ON ME TOO. NO ONE, AND I SAY NO ONE, CAN WEAR A BELT OR A BUCKLE LIKE I CAN!
Riona: WELL EXCEPT FOR YUGI MOTOU THAT IS!
Squall: WHO?
Rinoa: SHAME ON YOU SQUALL. YOU'RE SO UNCULTURED THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT!
Squall: YEAH, WELL, MAYBE I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT CARTOONS, BUT I'M A HELL OF A LOT MORE CULTURED THAN THAT LOSER SEIFER!
Rinoa: Hmm. That's true.
*Seifer is still hiding in the bushes*
Seifer: (That's not true. I happen to watch cartoons quite often. Those Power Puff Girls really know how to kick some ass).
*Of course Cid has now managed to make it down to the feuding couple*
Cid: Alright kiddies what seems to be the problem.
Squall: What do you mean "what's the problem"? Just look around you.
Cid: Oh, I see. What interesting new artwork, hmm. *Takes a closer inspection and relizes what exactly he's looking at*. Oh my.
*Rinoa just stands there blushing*
Cid: Miss Leonhart the artwork is very nice, but I'm afraid that this is a bit too extreme for the Garden. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to lower your SeeD Rank by 1 point.
Rinoa: Umm, but I'm not a SeeD.
Cid: Oh, that's right. Well then I'll just have to lower Squalls SeeD Rank instead. I'll send some people down later to clean up this mess. Carry on. *Heads back up to his office*
*Squall is just to stunned to speak for a moment*
Rinoa: Squall, are you ok?
*Meanwhile, back in the bushes*
Seifer: (Oh, this is the happiest day of my life. That Rank A loser is now a Rank 30 Loser. I'm so happy I could cry. But I think I'll just laugh instead). MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*By now Squall had managed to find his voice and the wounded animal sound he made was more than enough to cover the sound of evil laughter*
*A couple of days later*
*Things managed to get back to normal fairly quickly. Squall and Rinoa had worked things out, Irvine and Selphie were still at the Gold Saucer and didn't have a clue as to what had happened, and Cid was finally getting around to bringing in the new monsters for the Training Center. Squall was at Rank 30 for these few days, but managed to raise it back to Rank A when he saved Cid from a Malboro that tried to get to friendly with him. Things were running smoothly again and the pictures had all been taken off the walls. Most of them had been destroyed but you can still find a couple of them floating around. Like on a certain hidden island, where Chocoboy and his Chocobos hang out, we see Chocoboy with a familiar looking picture that was sent to him via Gold Chocobo. Oh, and where is Seifer now. Apparently he was allergic to that bush he was hiding in and came down with a rather nasty rash. Don't think that that's stopped him from plotting though.*
Seifer: (This rash sucks but it was worth it for the amount of damage it caused. The players are lined up and the trap is set. Just you wait Squall Leonfart. Your time is coming soon). WMAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Just then two random people walk by*
Random Girl: Too bad about what happened to Seifer.
Random Guy: Yeah. From that sound he made I'd say he's in a lot of pain.
*And so ends this chapter. What does Seifer have in mind for Squall? Will Seifer's rash ever go away? Will Irvine and Selphie do well at the Chocobo Races? Stay tuned to find out in the exciting conclusion to this weird story*
Short? Yes! Stupid? Yes! Review? Yes!
Started: 11/29/02
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story
A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I haven't felt like typing much lately. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 8: Angel of Desire
After the great success Seifer had at getting Laguna in some drag, he was feeling pretty good about himself. Well, that is until he bumped into an.... old friend.
Old Friend: Oh sorry about that I didn't see you... Oh, it's just you. Never mind you loser.
Seifer: *Rather sarcastically* How nice to see you Rinoa. I see that you haven't lost that adorable little humor that you like to fling around so much. Of course, you don't fling your humor around as much as you do other things *snicker*
Rinoa: *Giving Seifer the Evil Eye* Your right Seifer, so how about I fling my Blaster Edge at you? Of course I might not want to risk damaging it against that thick head of yours.
Seifer: You should be careful shooting that Blaster Edge aroung. You wouldn't want to break anything important, like a nail or something.
Rinoa: *sigh* Whatever creep. I wouldn't want anyone to see me associating with a crack head such as you. Besides, I have to go meet my Squall at the Beach. We're going Fastitocalon fishing. Hope I don't see you again anytime soon loser *And with that Rinoa walks out the front gate and goes to meet up with Squall*
Seifer: (..... Oh yeah, she wants me. Now all I need to do is figure out that how to make her see that Squall is not as great as she thinks he is. I think this calls for a little trip to the beach..... Of course I'd better make sure to take some of that "Son of Sun Sunscreen" that I just bought. Wouldn't want my nose to peel like last time)
*Meanwhile, at the Beach, the two love chocobo's are unaware that a presence is watching them from behind some bushes. Hint, hint, it's Seifer*
Rinoa: Sorry about being late earlier. I had to deal with some bad company.
Squall: What, did the Bite Bugs escape from the Training Center again?
Rinoa: No, Irvine too care of most of them with his bag of marshmellows. I'm talking about Seifer. That guy just won't stop pestering me. Why can't he get it through his thick head that after he tried to destroy the planet and all, well, I'm just not interested anymore.
Squall: In a way I don't blame the poor sap and it's because you're just so darn cute.
Rinoa: *Blushing Bright Red* Awww, how sweet. I've got to be the luckiest girl in the world. *tee-hee*
Squall: Well then this is going to be the cherry on the cake. *Starts to pull something out of his back pocket*
Rinoa:*Smiling* Er, don't you mean the icing on the cake? I think I can see some resemblance between you and your dad.
Squall: *Stops for a moment to think* Well, it doesn't really matter. I guess I do make mistakes at times, but it wouldn't matter a bit to me if you, Rinoa C.Heartilly, would do me the honer of becoming Mrs. Rinoa C. Leonhart. What do you say Rinoa? *With that Squall held out a silver ring identical to his Griever one, only this one was smaller*
Rinoa: *Is just standing there with her mouth gaping open for a few minutes* I... I do. Yes Squall, I will.
*Luckilly for Seifer the noise that Squall made was far louder than Seifer's squeal of defeat*
Seifer: (No, this can't be. Oh the horror. I was so close. Dammit how could I have missed the signs. Well I may have lost the battle, but the war has not yet been fought. I'll just have to find a way to humiliate the happy couple. Things are said to get interesting on the Honey Moon, so I think I'll set my trap around that. Just you wait Squall Leonhart. Your now in the calm before the storm). WMAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Of course at that time Squall was still making too much noise for either him or Rinoa to hear Seifer's cackle*
*The next day, in the Garden's Cafeteria, Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, Irvine, and Quistis were sitting at their usual table*
Zell: So you and Rinoa have finally decided to tie the knot.
Selphie: Yeah. We were all wondering when you would get around to it.
Squall: *Hmph* These things are tricky and should not be rushed into.
Quisitis: Well at least you proposed. I'm still waiting for Seifer to be man enough about to ask me.
Irvine: Hey Selphie, since we're all talking about weddings here what do you say to you and I getting hitched?
Selphie: Ummmmmm, ok! But only if we can get a sugar filled chocolate cake.
Rinoa: I have an idea. Since Squall and I are getting married, and now Selphie and Irvine, why don't we do a double wedding?
Squall: I don't see why not. It would be cheaper that way too.
Irvine: Oh and like you couldn't afford it, mister Rank A SeeD.
*Bet you're wondering were Seifer is. Well, why Squall and the rest of the gang are having a good time in the Cafeteria Seifer decided it was time to put his plan into action. He is now in Squall and Rinoa's room (Yes they're sharing a room) ;)*
Seifer: (If I can't have Rinoa then I might as well start making their marriage rocky. Twist this here... and plug this in there... and BINGO! One well placed, microscopic, state of the art, video camera. Those two better enjoy the evening while they can because it's going to get a little bumpy from now on. No one will suspect a thing). WMAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Squall and his friends were making too much noise at the time or else they would have noticed the evil laugh coming from Squall and Rinoa's room*
*The next day, which is also the day of the double wedding. The wedding is being held outside in front of the fountain and all of the residents are there. Well, all except for Seifer. Seems he was too tired to attend. Quistis was a flower girl and didn't look too happy about having to wear a frilly pink dress. Zell was the best man and was wearing his SeeD uniform. Cid, who was bawling his eyes out, walked both Rinoa and Selphie to where the grooms were waiting. Even Edea was there in a long grey dress. She thought that her usual black dress would make her look like she was going to a funeral.Squall and Irvine were both decked out in there best duds. Squall in his SeeD uniform (You know, the one he was wearing at the party after he became a seed), and Irvine was wearing a brown suit similar in color to his normal cowboy attire. Even Selphie hadn't managed to make him lose the hat for the ceremony. Selphie had on a yellow silk dress that was the same color as her jumper, and Rinoa had on a lovely blue dress that also matched her normal outfit. There were even silver wings sowed into the fabric on the back of the dress*
Priest: Welcome all on this joyous occasion. We are gathered here to unite Squall Leonhart and Rinoa Heartilly, as well as Irvine Kinneas and Selphie Tilmitt, in holy matrimony. Today will be a moment to remember always because it is the symbol of..... *Suddenly the preacher stopped talking in mid sentence*
Selphie: Uh, Mr.Preacher. Did you forget what you're supposed to say?
Squall: He better not be dead. I don't really feel like paying for two weddings and a funeral. *grumble, grumble*
Rinoa: No, wait. I don't think he's dead. listen.
*Everyone was silent for a few moments when.....*
Preacher: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZSNORXSNAWWWWWWWWWWWWSHZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Irvine: What the hell. That old fart fell alseep right in the middle of our wedding. Hey, wake up you old fossil. I'm not paying for you to sleep.
Squall: *Sarcastic* What are you talking about, Irvine? You're not paying for anything.
Irvine: Well yeah that's true. But seriously old man. WAKE UP!
Preacher: *Jerks awake* Huhhn snarlk gwuhzz zzat. Oh, yes. Let's see now, um. Our four uncles brought justice to this sinful land and may it rest in eternal peace, amen. Oh, and don't forget the coffee.
Selphie: Coffee?
Preacher: Well I like tea better. With lots of sugar and honey, oh yeah, and don't forget the lard.
Rinoa: Lard?
*About this time everyone is beginning to think that the old man did quite a bit of drugs in his youth*
Squall: *Grrrrrr* LISTEN YOU SENILE OLD FART. WE AREN'T HERE TO TALK ABOUT COFFEE, TEA, OR LARD. RINOA AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED. SELPHIE AND IRVINE ARE GETTING MARRIED. YOU ARE THE DUMB ASS PREACHER THAT HAS UNFORTUNATELY BEEN HIRED TO PERFORM THE CERAMONY. SO START PERFORMING!
Selphie: Amen!
Preacher: *Hmph* Well, if your going to get all huffy about it, then I'll just have to speed this up now. Ok then, do you Squall Leonhart take Rinoa Heartilly to be your wife?
Squall: Yes.
Preacher: And do you, Rinoa Heartilly, take Squall Leonhart to be your husband?
Rinoa: *blush* I do.
Preacher: Now do you, Irvine Kinneas, take Selphie Tilmitt to be your wife?
Irvine: Woo doggie, you bet I do.
Preacher: And lastly do you, Selphie Tilmitt, take Irvine to be to be your husband?
Selphie: Hell yeah!
Preacher: Very good. I know pronouce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride or groom or whoever the hell you want to. I'm getting out of here and may god have mercy on your sins. *And with that the Preacher storms out of the Garden*
Edea: It's about time.
Quistis: Now I can change out of this crappy dress. I need to go fight a T-Rexaur or something.
Zell: If you can find any T-Rexaurs that is. Thanks to that damn fertilizer all we seem to be getting are those stupid Bite Bugs.
Selphie: I thought Irvy Poo took care of those with the marshmellows?
Quistis: What about the Grats?
Zell: Joker of the CC Group took care of them. Said he was tired of being the Black Sheep of the club and wants to become a member of SOLDIER instead.
Squall: A member of what?
Quistis: Oh great. Now the Training Center is going to be just like any tropical forest.
Cid: Not to worry Quistis. I'll just have to bring some new monsters over. Let's see now. How about Instead of the usual batch of T-Rexaurs and Grats, we now will have Ruby Dragons and Malboros?
Quistis: Fine. Just as long as I get to kill something.
Irvine: Speaking of killing something, where did that loser Seifer get to?
Rinoa: He probably just couldn't bare the fact that Squall and I are now a married couple and will be joined together for the rest of time. Oh, and Squall, speaking of joing things together why don't we go back to our room and expand on that a bit.
Squall: *Is very interested in the idea but still tries to keep his "I don't give a crap" attitude* Whatever.
Rinoa: Whatever.
Irvine: Ha! She's already got you down Squall.
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Whatever.
Edea: Ok people. It's time for the brides and grooms to cut the cake and gifts.
Squall: Cake?
Rinoa: Yeah. In weddings it's a tradition for the bride and groom to cut a slice of cake and feed it to each other.
Irvine: Weird. (Oh well. At least Selphie will get her sugar buzz. Heh heh heh).
Selphie: Yay, cake!
Squall: Oh let's just hurry up and finish this. *And in one clean stroke he whips his Gunblade out of the middle of freaking no where, uses his Lion Heart Limit Break, and now the cake is in even slices. Enough for the whole party. Wow!*
Zell: Way to go Squall. You're better than those guys on the Iron Chef.
Squall: The what chef?
Rinoa: Look at all the stuff that people gave to us.
Selphie: Yay, presents!
*And a lot of stuff it was. Squall and Rinoa got the usual gifts of things like toasters, waffle makers, juicers, ect, ect. But they also got a cleaning kit (For Squall's Gunblade), and a new collar and leash (For Angelo, not Squall:)). Selphie and Irvine also got the traditional blender and coffee maker. Irvine got a 2 year subcription to "I Want to Hold Your Gun" (It's a magazine about guns, as stated in earlier chapters), and Selphie got a large box of Pixie Sticks. Now that the wedding was over the two couples set off on their next destination. Squall and Rinoa were heading back to their room to, uh, start the Honey Moon, while Irvine and Selphie were heading to Gold Saucer so they could bet on the Chocobo Races. All in all things seemed to be working out pretty well. Of course we all know that a certain other Gunblade weilding bad ass is up to something.*
*Meanwhile, back at Squall and Rinoa's love sha, er, their wonderfully clean and simple room*
Rinoa: I stil find it hard to believe that we'er finally married.
Squall: Yeah.
Rinoa: Well, now that we're husband and wife we can get down to business.
Squall: *Slight blush* Uhm, yeah.
Rinoa: Good. I have something I want to show you. Be right back *She now dashes off into the bathroom*
Squall: I hope she doesn't stay in there for hours.
*Several hours later. Squall had begun to think that the evil toilet monster had taken Rinoa or something and so he had fallen asleep. Even a certain camera man had dozed off*
Rinoa: *Who finally makes her appearance* I guess I was in there longer than I thought. Look at him. He's so cute when he's alseep. Not nearly as much of a grouch. Well, time to get things started then. *She walks over to Squall and gently shakes him awake*
Squall: Zzzzzzsnarzxerfoamfilledzzzsnaaafhuuuuuuhh. *Suddenly jerks awake when his eyes focus on what,or should a say who, is in front of him*
Rinoa: Oh how cute. You drooled a little in your sleep.
Squall: Uh, yeah. That's it. *Quickly wipes it off*
Rinoa: Sorry it took so long but this thing is so hard to change into.
Squall: Oh, that's ok. I can see that it was worth it.
*And worth it it was. Rinoa was now clad in a silky blue thong along with a rather sheer bodice. On her back was her usual silver winged motif. She had now shoes on but a gold bracelet around each ankle. She also had on gloves that went from the top of her elbow and down to her fingers where there were finger holes. On each wrist was another gold bracelet. Her neck had a matching gold chocker on it. To top it off her entire body was dotted with silver specks of body glitter. In fact, the whole outfit was down right blinding. The shine of it was even enough to wake up a snoring camera man*
Seifer: (Well it's about time. She never took this long in the bathroom when we were together. She never had anything like that either. Well this will certainly make up for it. Lights, camera, action! We'll see who has the last laugh and I have a pretty good guess who that's going to be). WMAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Due to the, er, noise that was being made in the other room, Seifer's evil laugh could not be heard*
*The next day*
Seifer: *Looks half alseep and is hiding in some bushes nearby* (Man am I tired. Not only did I get the pictures developed but I posted them too. Oh well. The events that will soon occure will be enough for me to sleep well. Ah, I see our two actors are in place. Let the show begin in 3, 2, 1, and..............ACTION).
Rinoa: HOLY CRAP I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. SQUALL, JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
Squall: Well I, I don't know.
Rinoa: IT'S ONE THING FOR A MARRIED COUPLE TO DO THIS KIND OF THING. I COULD EVEN UNDERSTAND IF YOU WANTED TO MAKE SOME PICTURES FOR YOURSELF. BUT THIS, THIS IS TOO MUCH!
Squall: Honestly sweety. I don't know how these got here. I certainly didn't put them up.
Rinoa: WELL THEN WHO DID?
*By now you all might be wondering what the whole commotion is about so I'll tell you. It seems that a certain someone has taken pictures of Rinoa when she was in her angel costume and has posted them all of the walls in the Garden. Now, I wonder who that could be?*
Squall: I'm sure that this is just some ass holes idea of a sick joke and I... HEY! GET AWAY FROM THERE YOU PERVETS!
*By now the yelling has gotten everyones attention including some rather hopless geeks. They seemed to have taken a liking to the pictures of Rinoa and had decided to get some as a souvenir. This, of course, doesn't make Squall very happy and who is now running around while swinging his Gunblade*
Squall: COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME YOU COWARDS. HOW DARE YOU TRY AND TAKE SOMEONE ELSES PROPERTY!
Rinoa: PROPERTY! WHO'S THE PROPERTY. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST PUT THAT COLLAR AND LEASH ON YOU!
*Squall now stops running and faces of against his spouse*
Squall: AND I BET IT WOULD LOOK BETTER ON ME TOO. NO ONE, AND I SAY NO ONE, CAN WEAR A BELT OR A BUCKLE LIKE I CAN!
Riona: WELL EXCEPT FOR YUGI MOTOU THAT IS!
Squall: WHO?
Rinoa: SHAME ON YOU SQUALL. YOU'RE SO UNCULTURED THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT!
Squall: YEAH, WELL, MAYBE I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT CARTOONS, BUT I'M A HELL OF A LOT MORE CULTURED THAN THAT LOSER SEIFER!
Rinoa: Hmm. That's true.
*Seifer is still hiding in the bushes*
Seifer: (That's not true. I happen to watch cartoons quite often. Those Power Puff Girls really know how to kick some ass).
*Of course Cid has now managed to make it down to the feuding couple*
Cid: Alright kiddies what seems to be the problem.
Squall: What do you mean "what's the problem"? Just look around you.
Cid: Oh, I see. What interesting new artwork, hmm. *Takes a closer inspection and relizes what exactly he's looking at*. Oh my.
*Rinoa just stands there blushing*
Cid: Miss Leonhart the artwork is very nice, but I'm afraid that this is a bit too extreme for the Garden. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to lower your SeeD Rank by 1 point.
Rinoa: Umm, but I'm not a SeeD.
Cid: Oh, that's right. Well then I'll just have to lower Squalls SeeD Rank instead. I'll send some people down later to clean up this mess. Carry on. *Heads back up to his office*
*Squall is just to stunned to speak for a moment*
Rinoa: Squall, are you ok?
*Meanwhile, back in the bushes*
Seifer: (Oh, this is the happiest day of my life. That Rank A loser is now a Rank 30 Loser. I'm so happy I could cry. But I think I'll just laugh instead). MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*By now Squall had managed to find his voice and the wounded animal sound he made was more than enough to cover the sound of evil laughter*
*A couple of days later*
*Things managed to get back to normal fairly quickly. Squall and Rinoa had worked things out, Irvine and Selphie were still at the Gold Saucer and didn't have a clue as to what had happened, and Cid was finally getting around to bringing in the new monsters for the Training Center. Squall was at Rank 30 for these few days, but managed to raise it back to Rank A when he saved Cid from a Malboro that tried to get to friendly with him. Things were running smoothly again and the pictures had all been taken off the walls. Most of them had been destroyed but you can still find a couple of them floating around. Like on a certain hidden island, where Chocoboy and his Chocobos hang out, we see Chocoboy with a familiar looking picture that was sent to him via Gold Chocobo. Oh, and where is Seifer now. Apparently he was allergic to that bush he was hiding in and came down with a rather nasty rash. Don't think that that's stopped him from plotting though.*
Seifer: (This rash sucks but it was worth it for the amount of damage it caused. The players are lined up and the trap is set. Just you wait Squall Leonfart. Your time is coming soon). WMAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Just then two random people walk by*
Random Girl: Too bad about what happened to Seifer.
Random Guy: Yeah. From that sound he made I'd say he's in a lot of pain.
*And so ends this chapter. What does Seifer have in mind for Squall? Will Seifer's rash ever go away? Will Irvine and Selphie do well at the Chocobo Races? Stay tuned to find out in the exciting conclusion to this weird story*
Short? Yes! Stupid? Yes! Review? Yes!
