Poo Llama
Another Random FFVII Story by Cloud_Stryfe

Author's Note: Yeah, as you may know, I write the "Strifes and the Wallaces" series of stories. Or rather, I did. I mean, I still write them, but if you may notice, I haven't finished the final chapter of the third episode...I've gone brain-dead on it. I'd appreciate if you, the fans, may come up with some ideas on how to finish it. I have ideas for other episodes, but I can't write them without finishing the S&W3. Anyway, about this story. This is NOT a sequel to "Odditivity", my other random FF7 story...I want to leave that be. No, this is just another random FF7 story by me. So, I hope you enjoy this and HAVE A NICE DAY!
Update- I added the third chapter!
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Once upon a time, there was a guy named Cloud Strife. He had saved the world once before by the evil Sephiroth and Meteor. But why was Sephiroth so evil? There had to have been a greater force in the works, but what? There are many unanswered questions regarding Sephiroth and ShinRa and other such matters...but by reading this tale, all will be answered...this is the tale of...POO LLAMA!
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Five years after Cloud and friends saved the world....

"Hey! Get me a cheese and cucumber burrito, will ya, Tifa!", Cloud screamed across the bar. "Yeah yeah, keep ya pants on, ya bastad!", she screamed by.
Tifa is working in the newly renovated "White Trash Seventh Heaven", with her only customers being Cloud, Barret, Cid, and Vincent. Seventh Heaven used to be a family restaurant, with delicious food and good times for all. Until about three years into the business, all their money was taken from them and they were forced to downgrade themselve's to a cheap ass, white trash restaurant. Not the most graceful of endings, but that's life.
Barret guzzled down some Milk-Beer from a tippy-cup,"Y'know Cloud, ever since that guy from the Cheese industry came and took all your money, this place has gone seriously downhill."
Suddenly, a cheese and cucumber burrito came flying through the air and hit Cloud in the face. He was instantly knocked out. "There's yer goddamn cheese and cucumber burrito, ya bastad!"
Cid shook his head,"Tsk...tsk...tsk...I remember how happy we used to be after we beat Sephiroth. Those were the days..."
Barret gave Cid a puzzled look,"The hell you talkin' about? The only good thing that happend to us was when Yuffie was suffocated in Materia and died. Everything else sucked."
Vincent walked out of the bathroom and zipped up his pants,"Now now, I remember some fun things we did, like when we went to Happy-Go-Oh-Lucky Land."
"What the...? How did you hear our conversation? You were in the damn bathroom! And besides, nothing good happened at Happy-Go-Oh-Lucky Land! We were miserable the whole time because Tifa wouldn't let us buy sodas and made us all share a kid's meal. And on top of all that, she called us 'ungrateful fahts (farts)'!", Barret said in his loud and obnoxious way.
Cid, who was on the floor eating the cheese and cucumber burrito off of Cloud's face, responded,"Well it wasn't all bad, we did win those giant, stuffed animal pigs!"
"Yes, but when we were trying to win them, we were under the impression that they were like...stuffed pigs that you put on your bed or something, not ACTUAL stuffed pigs.", Vincent said while trying to bite his shoulder.
The three continued to argue. Amidst the fighting, Tifa came out from behind the bar and sprayed Cloud with a high powered hose,"Wake up, ya faht!". Cloud woke up, blasting upward and getting his head jammed into the roof. "MmRjkgfjmkmmrkmkmrmrmrmrrrmrrrrrMRMMMMR!!"
"What'd he say?"
"I think he said 'Oh dear, I seemed to have wet myself'!"
"No, it sounded more like 'Get me down you idiots'!"
"Psh...why would he say THAT?!"
"Yeah, you're right.................think we should help 'im?"
"....."
"....."
"....."
"Nah."

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This story is going to take place over a long period of time. It will be a comedy, of course. But this story will have a touch of action! I hope you enjoy the exciting tale of...Poo Llama!