Title: Static Cling and Other Things
Started: 11/29/02
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story
(Epilogue) Chapter 10: And Then Again....
It been a couple of weeks since Squall's debut and people were still talking about it. Squall was working at raising his Rank back up to A and Seifer felt like he'd had about 10 Float spells cast on him. However, Seifer's luck was about to run out. Poor Seifer, if only the fool knew what was ahead of him....
*In the Cafeteria, at Squall and the gang's usual table*
Selphie: So Squall, how are things going with the rest of the instructors?
Squall: Well, Quistis is alright since I've known her for so long, but some of the other ones can be a real pain in the ass.
Irvine: Why is that?
Squall: Well, there's this one old lady who I swear has been here since the day of Sorceress Adel's reign. She looks like an Abadon and her breath smells like a Malboro's.
Zell: Oh that is so raunchy.
Rinoa: Eeeew.
Squall: Yeah, exactly. And if that wasn't bad enough she's always calling me skipper and acting like I'm one of her students.
Rinoa: Oh no, poor snickerdoodle.
Squall: Yeah. I don't know which is worse though. The old lady that smells bad, or the crazy ass guy.
Zell: Crazy guy?
Squall: He keeps going on about some stupid rocket and whips out a lance whenever anyone pisses him off. Plus his language is enough to make a sailor blush.
Selphie: Kind of reminds me of Seifer.
Irvine: Yeah, it does.
Rinoa: Where is that loser anyways.
Squall: Oh, he said something about needed some extra rest. I have no idea what he's talking about since he hasn't been doing anything for quite a while.
Zell: Blah, he's not important anyways.
*Now we visit Seifer's room*
Seifer: (I feel like I've died and gone to "The Island Closest to Heaven". Squall's still feeling the wraith of my plan, plus he's still not a Rank A SeeD. This is so freaking awesome. I could gloat about this forever.... unfortunately I have to go to that stupid meeting with Cid and the rest of the losers. Oh well, it's not for a couple more hours so I'll take a little nap. Now where is that "Sleep" spell). MWHAHAHAHAHASNORKSNAXZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
*Outside Seifer's door*
Random Guy: Man that guy really has some major snoring problems.
Random Girl: No kidding. No wonder he's always in a bad mood, he must have some major nasal problems.
Random Guy: More like a constant case of hemorrhoids.
Random Girl: *Snicker* Yeah, that's it.
*Back in the Cafeteria with Squall and the others*
Quistis: Isn't the meeting starting soon, Squall?
Squall: Yeah, we should all start heading over there.
Rinoa: Even me?
Squall: *Smiles* Yep, even you?
Selphie: I wonder if Seifer will show up?
Squall: *Sigh* I guess I should go check on the loser to make sure that he knows that it's time. I'll meet you guys there.
Irvine: Sure thing Squall.
Zell: Yeah and just let me know if that loser gives you any trouble. I'll smack him up side the head with a *Meteor Strike*.
Squall: *Snicker* Now that I'd like to see. However, you should be careful, Zell. I think that old guys still mad at you.
Zell: Yeah, yeah.
*Squall starts heading towards Seifer's room while the rest of the group heads up to Cid's office for the meeting*
Squall: (I wonder what the creeps been up to lately. We haven't seen too much of him but there's been this weird laugh echoing through the halls. Oh well. That isn't my main concern. Right now, I'd rather think of a way to get Rinoa back into that Angel Leotard costume. Ah, it looks like I'm here. Geez, what the hell is that horrible racket. It sounds like a stampede of Wendigos is running around. I'd better find out). *He knocks on Seifer's door*
*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK*
Squall: HEY SEIFER! ARE YOU STILL ALIVE IN THERE OR DID THE WENDIGOS RUN YOU OVER?
*No answer*
Squall: Guess I'll have to go inside. *Checks the door and finds it unlocked so he goes inside*
*Inside we find Seifer passed out in bed snoring louder than "Doomtrain" going along its tracks*
Squall: Holy shit! Did that guy cast three "Sleep" spells on himself or what?
(A/N: And indeed he did for Seifer had forgotten that he had previously cast "Triple" magic on himself. Ooops.)
Seifer: SNZZAZRXZZZZZZZZAROCTXZZAAXXXXZZZZZ.
Squall: Oh man. No wonder I thought there were a bunch of Wendigos running around. What am I going to do?
*And what indeed for as hard as Squall tried he could not awaken the sleeping Snorlax, er, I mean Seifer*
Squall: Great. Even the force of "Bahamut's" "Mega Flare" couldn't wake him up. Crap and if I don't hurry I'm going to be late for the meeting and I definately don't need my SeeD Rank dropped any lower. Forget this loser, I'll just tell Cid that Seifer wouldn't wake up. Later loser. *And Squall hurries out the door to get to the meeting*
*Ten minutes later*
Seifer: (What the hell, I could have sworn that I heard Squall screaming at me. I wonder why, since he never comes to my room unless it's to tell me about a meeting or something..... Oh crap. I have to hurry and get over there and make sure that Squall doesn't rat me out to Cid. Oh, wait. Better check the mirror first). *Goes into the bathroom and quickly inspects the back of his coat to make sure there aren't any stray objects*
*Seeing nothing unusual Seifer darts out the door, barely managing to remember to close it. Alas, if that was the only thing Seifer forgot*
Seifer: (What the hell is with people today. I know I must look like shit but is "Bed Head" really that humorous. Heck, even that annoying jogger kid keeps running around the circle and laughing at me. Heh, at least I already have his "Mog" card. Still, people are acting awfully weird. I bet it's because I'm late for the meeting. I better step on it and cast a "Haste" spell).
*Now we go to Cid's office*
Squall: ...So I tried my best to wake him but it wouldn't work, Sir.
Cid: It's alright. I know you tried your best to....
*And at that moment the door to Cid's office blew off with the force of "Pandemona's" "Tornado Zone"
Seifer: *Huff* Sorry Sir I *Puff* didn't mean to *Weez* oversleep.
Cid: That's fine. I'm glad you made it to the.... Ugh, Seifer.
Seifer: What is it? What's wrong?
Irvine: Whoah, did you run over here while you were still asleep?
Seifer: Huh!?
Rinoa: Tee hee. Your such a loser Seifer. And you're always wondering why I quit going with you and instead married Squall. No you can see why. Ha ha ha.
Seifer: *Scoff* I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, or what any of you are talking about.
Zell: Way to go dude. I didn't think you had a single brave bone in your body.
Seifer: Shut up, Chicken Wuss!
Zell: Bite Me!
Quistis: Geez Seifer. I thought I told you to only wear those when we're alone.
Seifer: Wear? Wear what?
Selphie: Those boxers are so cute. I should get a pair for Irvine.
Seifer: Bo- bo- boxers. Wha- what the? *And now Seifer finally decideds to look down and notice the splendid white boxers adorned with green, blue, and yellow Chocobos that, since he was in such a hurry, forgot to cover up with something called "pants"*
Cid: Ahhh, so your the loony that I heard was running around with no pants. Shame on you Seifer. You're setting a bad example for the Garden. Although, I must admit that this is rather amusing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. In fact, I'm in such a good mood that, Squall, I'm raising your SeeD Rank back up to Level A. Congratulations. Oh, and I talked to Edea and she agreed to let you and Rinoa spend a week at our condo in "Costa Del Sol". Have fun kiddies.
Squall: Alright! Thank you, Sir!
Rinoa: Oh that is so nice of you Mr.Kramer. Tell Edea I said thank you as well.
Cid: Ok then, since I forgot what the meeting was supposed to be about you can all go. Bye now.
Zell: Sweet! Catch you later. *Bolts out the door*
Quistis: It's back to grading papers. Oh, and you want to Seifer, you can drop by my room later. Just be sure to wear those cute boxers. *Goes back to her classroom on the second floor*
Selphie: Come one Irvine. I want to go find you a pair like that.
Irvine: Yes dear. *Leaves with Selphie to go shopping*
Rinoa: Oh, I'm so excited, Squall. Let's go start packing for our trip.*Dashes out the door*
Squall: Anything you say sweety. *Starts to leave but stops for a moment by Seifer*
*Seifer is still dumbfounded by the whole thing and doesn't say anything*
Squall: Hey Seifer. Thanks to you I'm back to Rank A and now get to have some fun in the sun with my darling wife. Oh, and what makes it even better is that Rinoa just got this pink bikini that looks just like "Shiva's", and I owe it all to you. Thanks buddy. *Runs to the elevator to meet up with Rinoa* (A/N: Think Final Fantasy VII)
*Seifer... is still speechless*
Cid: Oh, Seifer, you're still here. Well, I'm off to meet Edea, so be sure to lock up when you leave. Oh, and you might want to put some pants on. It can get kind of chilly in here. Toodles. *Leaves the room and now Seifer is all alone*
Seifer: (I- I just don't believe any of this. Why, dammit, why? After all the hard work and long boring hours I put into this it still turned out Ok for that loser and his friends. Not only is he back to being a Rank A SeeD and gets to spend a week at "Costa Del Sol", but now he'll get to see Rinoa in a bikini. This is just so not fair. WAHHHAHAH HHHHAHHHHAHHHAHHAHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHAHHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHHHH!!
*And so that's how it was. People swore to have heard loud sobbing coming from Cid's office, but they all just assumed that is was Cid watching one of his Soap Operas. Squall and Rinoa had a great time at "Costa Del Sol", while Irvine and Selphie are still living in their stolen car. Zell is still scarfing all the hot dogs he can, and Quistis is still Quistis. She still has her occasional evenings with "Boxer Boy", but Seifer now seems even reluctant for Quistis to see him in his boxers. I guess all of this will teach Seifer that what goes around comes around, as well that he should quit tryind so hard to get back at Squall cause he just ends up making an ass out of himself instead. Meanwhile, on the same hidden forest as before, we see the usual keeper and friend of the Chocobo's, Chocoboy. But wait, what's this. Chocoboy is almost stark naked except for his new line of boxers, "Chocoboxers". Wow! They look so stylish and even have cute little green, blue, and yellow Chocobo's on them. Oooooh! And now my friends I bid you farwell to this sad and strange tale of lies, deceit, and complete stupidity. I hope you all enjoyed it. Toodles.
A/N: It took me a lot longer than I thought to finish this. When I did the first chapter that's all I thought it would be, one chapter. I'm very greatful for the reviews I got. This may be the end of this story but I'll keep working on others when I get ideas. They'll probably all be for either Video Games or Anime but that's ok, right? Just keep watching to see what other strange stories I can spin out. Oh, also when you review, I'm curious to see just how many Final Fantasy/ Video Game/ Anime references you can spot. I did my best to put a lot in. Once again, thanks to all of you who kept up with the story and I hope to hear from you again. And now, I present the traditional slogan:
Short? Yes! Stupid? Yes! Review? Yes! The End? Sadly Yes!
Started: 11/29/02
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story
(Epilogue) Chapter 10: And Then Again....
It been a couple of weeks since Squall's debut and people were still talking about it. Squall was working at raising his Rank back up to A and Seifer felt like he'd had about 10 Float spells cast on him. However, Seifer's luck was about to run out. Poor Seifer, if only the fool knew what was ahead of him....
*In the Cafeteria, at Squall and the gang's usual table*
Selphie: So Squall, how are things going with the rest of the instructors?
Squall: Well, Quistis is alright since I've known her for so long, but some of the other ones can be a real pain in the ass.
Irvine: Why is that?
Squall: Well, there's this one old lady who I swear has been here since the day of Sorceress Adel's reign. She looks like an Abadon and her breath smells like a Malboro's.
Zell: Oh that is so raunchy.
Rinoa: Eeeew.
Squall: Yeah, exactly. And if that wasn't bad enough she's always calling me skipper and acting like I'm one of her students.
Rinoa: Oh no, poor snickerdoodle.
Squall: Yeah. I don't know which is worse though. The old lady that smells bad, or the crazy ass guy.
Zell: Crazy guy?
Squall: He keeps going on about some stupid rocket and whips out a lance whenever anyone pisses him off. Plus his language is enough to make a sailor blush.
Selphie: Kind of reminds me of Seifer.
Irvine: Yeah, it does.
Rinoa: Where is that loser anyways.
Squall: Oh, he said something about needed some extra rest. I have no idea what he's talking about since he hasn't been doing anything for quite a while.
Zell: Blah, he's not important anyways.
*Now we visit Seifer's room*
Seifer: (I feel like I've died and gone to "The Island Closest to Heaven". Squall's still feeling the wraith of my plan, plus he's still not a Rank A SeeD. This is so freaking awesome. I could gloat about this forever.... unfortunately I have to go to that stupid meeting with Cid and the rest of the losers. Oh well, it's not for a couple more hours so I'll take a little nap. Now where is that "Sleep" spell). MWHAHAHAHAHASNORKSNAXZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
*Outside Seifer's door*
Random Guy: Man that guy really has some major snoring problems.
Random Girl: No kidding. No wonder he's always in a bad mood, he must have some major nasal problems.
Random Guy: More like a constant case of hemorrhoids.
Random Girl: *Snicker* Yeah, that's it.
*Back in the Cafeteria with Squall and the others*
Quistis: Isn't the meeting starting soon, Squall?
Squall: Yeah, we should all start heading over there.
Rinoa: Even me?
Squall: *Smiles* Yep, even you?
Selphie: I wonder if Seifer will show up?
Squall: *Sigh* I guess I should go check on the loser to make sure that he knows that it's time. I'll meet you guys there.
Irvine: Sure thing Squall.
Zell: Yeah and just let me know if that loser gives you any trouble. I'll smack him up side the head with a *Meteor Strike*.
Squall: *Snicker* Now that I'd like to see. However, you should be careful, Zell. I think that old guys still mad at you.
Zell: Yeah, yeah.
*Squall starts heading towards Seifer's room while the rest of the group heads up to Cid's office for the meeting*
Squall: (I wonder what the creeps been up to lately. We haven't seen too much of him but there's been this weird laugh echoing through the halls. Oh well. That isn't my main concern. Right now, I'd rather think of a way to get Rinoa back into that Angel Leotard costume. Ah, it looks like I'm here. Geez, what the hell is that horrible racket. It sounds like a stampede of Wendigos is running around. I'd better find out). *He knocks on Seifer's door*
*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK*
Squall: HEY SEIFER! ARE YOU STILL ALIVE IN THERE OR DID THE WENDIGOS RUN YOU OVER?
*No answer*
Squall: Guess I'll have to go inside. *Checks the door and finds it unlocked so he goes inside*
*Inside we find Seifer passed out in bed snoring louder than "Doomtrain" going along its tracks*
Squall: Holy shit! Did that guy cast three "Sleep" spells on himself or what?
(A/N: And indeed he did for Seifer had forgotten that he had previously cast "Triple" magic on himself. Ooops.)
Seifer: SNZZAZRXZZZZZZZZAROCTXZZAAXXXXZZZZZ.
Squall: Oh man. No wonder I thought there were a bunch of Wendigos running around. What am I going to do?
*And what indeed for as hard as Squall tried he could not awaken the sleeping Snorlax, er, I mean Seifer*
Squall: Great. Even the force of "Bahamut's" "Mega Flare" couldn't wake him up. Crap and if I don't hurry I'm going to be late for the meeting and I definately don't need my SeeD Rank dropped any lower. Forget this loser, I'll just tell Cid that Seifer wouldn't wake up. Later loser. *And Squall hurries out the door to get to the meeting*
*Ten minutes later*
Seifer: (What the hell, I could have sworn that I heard Squall screaming at me. I wonder why, since he never comes to my room unless it's to tell me about a meeting or something..... Oh crap. I have to hurry and get over there and make sure that Squall doesn't rat me out to Cid. Oh, wait. Better check the mirror first). *Goes into the bathroom and quickly inspects the back of his coat to make sure there aren't any stray objects*
*Seeing nothing unusual Seifer darts out the door, barely managing to remember to close it. Alas, if that was the only thing Seifer forgot*
Seifer: (What the hell is with people today. I know I must look like shit but is "Bed Head" really that humorous. Heck, even that annoying jogger kid keeps running around the circle and laughing at me. Heh, at least I already have his "Mog" card. Still, people are acting awfully weird. I bet it's because I'm late for the meeting. I better step on it and cast a "Haste" spell).
*Now we go to Cid's office*
Squall: ...So I tried my best to wake him but it wouldn't work, Sir.
Cid: It's alright. I know you tried your best to....
*And at that moment the door to Cid's office blew off with the force of "Pandemona's" "Tornado Zone"
Seifer: *Huff* Sorry Sir I *Puff* didn't mean to *Weez* oversleep.
Cid: That's fine. I'm glad you made it to the.... Ugh, Seifer.
Seifer: What is it? What's wrong?
Irvine: Whoah, did you run over here while you were still asleep?
Seifer: Huh!?
Rinoa: Tee hee. Your such a loser Seifer. And you're always wondering why I quit going with you and instead married Squall. No you can see why. Ha ha ha.
Seifer: *Scoff* I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, or what any of you are talking about.
Zell: Way to go dude. I didn't think you had a single brave bone in your body.
Seifer: Shut up, Chicken Wuss!
Zell: Bite Me!
Quistis: Geez Seifer. I thought I told you to only wear those when we're alone.
Seifer: Wear? Wear what?
Selphie: Those boxers are so cute. I should get a pair for Irvine.
Seifer: Bo- bo- boxers. Wha- what the? *And now Seifer finally decideds to look down and notice the splendid white boxers adorned with green, blue, and yellow Chocobos that, since he was in such a hurry, forgot to cover up with something called "pants"*
Cid: Ahhh, so your the loony that I heard was running around with no pants. Shame on you Seifer. You're setting a bad example for the Garden. Although, I must admit that this is rather amusing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. In fact, I'm in such a good mood that, Squall, I'm raising your SeeD Rank back up to Level A. Congratulations. Oh, and I talked to Edea and she agreed to let you and Rinoa spend a week at our condo in "Costa Del Sol". Have fun kiddies.
Squall: Alright! Thank you, Sir!
Rinoa: Oh that is so nice of you Mr.Kramer. Tell Edea I said thank you as well.
Cid: Ok then, since I forgot what the meeting was supposed to be about you can all go. Bye now.
Zell: Sweet! Catch you later. *Bolts out the door*
Quistis: It's back to grading papers. Oh, and you want to Seifer, you can drop by my room later. Just be sure to wear those cute boxers. *Goes back to her classroom on the second floor*
Selphie: Come one Irvine. I want to go find you a pair like that.
Irvine: Yes dear. *Leaves with Selphie to go shopping*
Rinoa: Oh, I'm so excited, Squall. Let's go start packing for our trip.*Dashes out the door*
Squall: Anything you say sweety. *Starts to leave but stops for a moment by Seifer*
*Seifer is still dumbfounded by the whole thing and doesn't say anything*
Squall: Hey Seifer. Thanks to you I'm back to Rank A and now get to have some fun in the sun with my darling wife. Oh, and what makes it even better is that Rinoa just got this pink bikini that looks just like "Shiva's", and I owe it all to you. Thanks buddy. *Runs to the elevator to meet up with Rinoa* (A/N: Think Final Fantasy VII)
*Seifer... is still speechless*
Cid: Oh, Seifer, you're still here. Well, I'm off to meet Edea, so be sure to lock up when you leave. Oh, and you might want to put some pants on. It can get kind of chilly in here. Toodles. *Leaves the room and now Seifer is all alone*
Seifer: (I- I just don't believe any of this. Why, dammit, why? After all the hard work and long boring hours I put into this it still turned out Ok for that loser and his friends. Not only is he back to being a Rank A SeeD and gets to spend a week at "Costa Del Sol", but now he'll get to see Rinoa in a bikini. This is just so not fair. WAHHHAHAH HHHHAHHHHAHHHAHHAHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHAHHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHHHH!!
*And so that's how it was. People swore to have heard loud sobbing coming from Cid's office, but they all just assumed that is was Cid watching one of his Soap Operas. Squall and Rinoa had a great time at "Costa Del Sol", while Irvine and Selphie are still living in their stolen car. Zell is still scarfing all the hot dogs he can, and Quistis is still Quistis. She still has her occasional evenings with "Boxer Boy", but Seifer now seems even reluctant for Quistis to see him in his boxers. I guess all of this will teach Seifer that what goes around comes around, as well that he should quit tryind so hard to get back at Squall cause he just ends up making an ass out of himself instead. Meanwhile, on the same hidden forest as before, we see the usual keeper and friend of the Chocobo's, Chocoboy. But wait, what's this. Chocoboy is almost stark naked except for his new line of boxers, "Chocoboxers". Wow! They look so stylish and even have cute little green, blue, and yellow Chocobo's on them. Oooooh! And now my friends I bid you farwell to this sad and strange tale of lies, deceit, and complete stupidity. I hope you all enjoyed it. Toodles.
A/N: It took me a lot longer than I thought to finish this. When I did the first chapter that's all I thought it would be, one chapter. I'm very greatful for the reviews I got. This may be the end of this story but I'll keep working on others when I get ideas. They'll probably all be for either Video Games or Anime but that's ok, right? Just keep watching to see what other strange stories I can spin out. Oh, also when you review, I'm curious to see just how many Final Fantasy/ Video Game/ Anime references you can spot. I did my best to put a lot in. Once again, thanks to all of you who kept up with the story and I hope to hear from you again. And now, I present the traditional slogan:
Short? Yes! Stupid? Yes! Review? Yes! The End? Sadly Yes!
