Title: Broken Glass
Author: DeepNight
Disclaimer: I don't own any bit of LotR or it's characters, I'm just borrowing! Lol. No profit is made here either…
Summary: "Now release me." She tried to step away but he only tightened his grip. "I won't let you go again." He said trying to turn her but she refused."You let me fall into a thousand pieces, from which I was never rebuilt. You hold nothing but a spiritless woman's arm Prince Legolas of Mirkwood."
Legolas knows he made a mistake before he left Mirkwood for the Council in Rivendell, but as he, Aragorn, and Gimli return to Mirkwood after the War, can he make up for it? And when the love he let go and Arwen are kidnapped by a band of Uruk-Hai and Wild Men that survived the war will he and Aragorn get to them in time, or will he never have the chance redeem the biggest mistake of his life?
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance/Action/Adventure
Warnings: None in the first chapter
Itialics are memories.
Note: Please review! I'd like to know what you think and all. Please, please, please! Thanks!
Chapter One: Memories and Regrets
He had dreamed again last night. He had spoken her name, mumbled and tossed in his sleep.
Aragorn looked at his Elven friend as they rode quietly in the early morning. Gimli was leaned on the Elf's back, asleep again. Legolas had been more and more spirited in the past days. They were returning first to Mirkwood before they set again for Gondor. The War of the Ring had drained them, tortured them, pushed them, shoved them, and yet they were all stronger than ever. And the Heavens' knew closer.
Aragorn could barely wait to see Arwen again. Gimli had decided to come with the other two as they travelled, not yet ready to return to a 'normal' life.
Arwen..his love and life. How he could not wait to see her eyes again, feel her hands in his. To hear her voice not from a distance, but watch as she spoke. How he had longed for her in this time. After every battle he thought of her, wished for her. Now, soon, he would be with her. When he had agreed to go to Mirkwood with Legolas, Arwen sent word that she would meet him there. He had been looking forward to this for a long time coming now..
Legolas had to go to Mirkwood, to his father, again. The Prince had not come back in over a year and his people grew wary of his absence. As they were nearing, the Elf's usually calm and serious ways were dotted even more so than usual with casual humor and friendly discussion.
In the nights however..he turned and uttered. Aragorn knew who it was he was dreaming of. He never knew what had happened to her, or of her, but Legolas did not speak of her at all in the past year. Aragorn had known Legolas for so long now, before the Fellowship, and he was surprised when his friend only murmured a reason to her non-mention.
"It is better to leave some things be Aragorn."
That was what he said when, three days into the journey Aragorn had asked of her. Disturbed and wondering about the reply, Aragorn took heed and did not mention her again except on accident when telling a story, or just by mention.
"Legolas.." Aragorn said quietly. The Elf looked at him, a small smile on his handsome features. "The dreams in the night, your nightmares in which you toss and turn, why do they plague you as they do?"
Legolas only looked at him further until looking away. At first his friend thought he wasn't going to reply when he suddenly said rather quietly, "They are not nightmares…Only fond memories."
"Fond memories? This is why you toss and mumble in your sleep as if troubled?" Aragorn questioned.
"As fond of memories as they are Aragorn, they a tinted by regret, a regret I hope to change soon." Legolas replied glancing at him.
Silence filled the dawn's morning air until Aragorn spoke again, "You dream of her, don't you? That is why you call for her?"
Legolas looked at him now. His features showed no emotion, but his eyes swirled. Different thoughts fell from his eyes' windows. His soul, if but for a moment, was opened and Aragorn quickly looked away. The sadness and despair that filled those eyes were surprising and disturbing; something he did not want to see.
"Yes, I dream of her." Legolas said quietly, half in thought, half speaking. "I dream of what was the past..what happened so long ago, and I dream of what I know will happen, or I hope will happen."
Aragorn glanced at him from the corner of his eye as they rode in the early dawn. "Legolas..why have you not said but a dozen words about her, and yet I can see sadness and regret brewing in your eyes? I knew the two of you together, you fit perfectly." Legolas did not answer and after a time Aragorn added, "In your dreams, why do you always say you're sorry?"
The Elf's blue eyes slid to the man and slowly he answered, "Because I am sorry. You do not understand what I did Aragorn…"
Aragorn thought of when he let Arwen go. When he told her to go. The look in her eyes and the sound of her voice, so strained not to show her sadness, and he tried not to shudder. How he hated those few moments. Her eyes would haunt him no matter how long they were together, that one time scarred him for life.
"So certain I would not understand?" he questioned quietly.
The Elf sighed, he knew what he spoke of. He sighed slightly and lowly replied, "Night before I left, I was angry." He started with a slight shake of his head, "Not at anything in particular, just angry. I was angry about the Ring, the fighting among the people in Middle Earth, my people leaving so suddenly for the Undying Lands, and my father's pressure to go before I was summoned for the Council."
Aragorn remained silent as they entered the quiet forest of Mirkwood.
"She did not want me to go, I knew that. I tried to tell her that all would be fine and I would be back soon, but I knew of her gifts of foresight but I took no heed. As night settled my father sat with me and spoke words I would have never expected from him. He was not involved in anything of my life besides what happened in his presence or in his name..but that night he spoke of her."
Legolas frowned slightly and sighed looking into the forest, "I do not wish to speak of what he told me, but in the end, for some reason, I agreed with him that Ni'Syla was not an Elf fit for me.." he suddenly added quickly as if defending himself, "I did not think about it, I was sure that he was right, why would he not be? I was too bombarded with other things on my mind to fully think about what I was doing before I went to her."
Aragorn looked at the Elven Prince when he stopped, not speaking again as his memories took him away. The man asked no more, he could imagine what had happened and rode on silently beside the Elf as he fell into his memories.
"Legolas! Valar, you scared me!" Ni'Syla exclaimed as she turned from the book cases and nearly ran into him. He said nothing in return and had no particular look on his face, just a plain stare at her. "Legolas?" she asked softly, "What is wrong?"
He said nothing for a moment then turned away, "Come Ni'Syla, let us walk."
Ni'Syla frowned slightly as she put the book in her hand down and followed the Prince. How long had it been since Legolas used her full name? Silently she walked beside him as they left the sight of others in the darkening night and entered the calm forest.
They were silent figures shadowed by night and she occasionally glanced at him. She knew he was leaving tomorrow morning, did he decide to stay? Did he argue with his father? What was wrong with him?!
Legolas suddenly stopped walking and looked at her, "Ni'Syla..So much is around us now and it is difficult to keep track of what is real and what is not."
A feeling of dread seeped into her heart. What made him say that?
"Dream and life are difficult to see in a life of total bliss..but when that bliss falls, one can see the fine line that is drawn there. The dreams are shattered and one is suddenly in life again." Legolas realized he was quoting his father, but he didn't know what else to say. Somewhere in him a voice was shouting at him that he was a fool, that he was making a mistake.
"Legolas…what are you speaking of?" Ni'Syla asked softly.
"Ni'Syla.."
"Why are you using my full name?" she interrupted.
Legolas looked away, ashamed, but he continued, "We cannot keep pretending."
"Pretending? Pretending what Legolas?" she asked, her eyes already beginning to burn.
"Pretending that this is real! Pretending that what you and I have is real! It is not; it cannot be." The Prince exclaimed. He saw her flinch when he erupted and he felt guilt and shame snake into his soul and wind its way around him, but he did not heed to it. "We are wasting many rises with this infatuation we have."
"Wasting?! We cannot be wasting any rises when rises are unlimited to us! And..I was not aware we were pretending." She said adding the last part rather icily.
Legolas paused before he said lowly, "I am leaving tomorrow, I do not know when I will be back..I am not going to ask you to wait, truly I am asking you not to wait for me…"
Ni'Syla looked at him for a long moment, taking him in. This was not Legolas speaking, not her Legolas. Just hours ago he had told her so many things, things of the future, the future they had together. No, this was not Legolas. "Do you want me to be gone from you?"
The Prince did not answer, but looked away. The Elven woman took a shaky breath and said quietly, "As you wish, Your Highness." She curtsied slightly and turned away. She paused then and said over her shoulder, "Just know that I will always love you Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood."
Legolas fought his feet as they wanted to move. He swallowed his voice as it wanted to call for her to come back. When she called him by his rank and not his name was when it really set in what he was doing. What he had decided to do..Of course, was it what he decided to do, or what his father wanted him to do?
He looked up again only to see an empty forest around him, Syla no where to be seen. Quietly he sighed and moved silently back towards the city. He stopped once, and looked back, but he shook his head to himself and continued on.
Legolas glanced at Aragorn as they moved deeper and deeper into the forest he knew so well. Quietly he urged his horse to walk a bit faster, how he wanted to go back..
It had not even been dawn before Legolas truly realized what he had done. He had awoken from a fitful sleep drenched in sweat, his breathing heavy. Cursing himself he pushed aside the blankets and threw his legs over the side of the bed. Placing his elbows on his knees he leaned his head into his hands.
With a heavy sigh he pushed himself up a moment later and walked to the window, the moon streamed in from its setting horizan. Sweat still trickled down his back and chest but he paid no attention. Silently his mind finally accepted what his heart had been trying to tell him all night. He had made the most foolish mistake that dusk.
Throwing the doors to the balcony open he stalked to the stone side keep and braced his hands on it. His mind continued to bury him in what he said. It played back the look in her eyes. He thought of this until he could think no more and his hands gripped the stone to white knuckles until finally he pushed off and hollared into the setting moon and dwindling stars, "SYLA!!!"
The name echoed for ages and it died away just as it should in the air..but it raved on in the Prince of Mirkwood's mind.
"Hold your steeds!"
Legolas was snapped out of his thoughts as a voice spoke. He glanced around as he and Aragorn stopped the horses. Gimli grumbled back to life and looked around..before promptly toppling off the back of the horse.
"Gimli, are you all right?" Legolas questioned, trying not to laugh as the horse danced away from the Dwarf who struggled to gain his bearings and sit up.
"Urgh! Stupid beast moved out from under me!" Gimli ranted as he looked at the Elf and horse.
Aragorn couldn't help but to let out a small bit of a chuckle as Legolas did not hide his laugh.
"Prince Legolas??"
Until then they had forgotten of the voice in the trees. Legolas slowed his laughing and looked around, "Yes, 'tis I. Now who are you, Guardian of Mirkwood?" he called.
An Elf gracefully dropped from one of the trees, followed by a dozen others that walked from the dense forest. " I am Vilnor my Lord." The fair haired elf bowed gracefully before his prince and straighted only when Legolas dismounted to help Gimli up. "This is my company." Vilnor said motioning to the people around him who were still bowed.
Legolas looked at the other Elves as Gimli brushed himself off and he told them to rise. He did not recognize these Guardians, but it had been so long since he had last returned he did not doubt they were promoted in that time. "Very good Vilnor, very good. You keep these forests well I see, even with only three travelers in their mists."
Vilnor proudly bowed his head.
"My companions, Aragorn, Son of Arathorn and new King of Man, and Gimli, Son of Gloin, and I have been traveling many days."
"Of course!" Vilnor exclaimed after bowing to the King on his horse, scolding himself for his absent mind. He had been so surprised to see the Elven Prince he didn't even think of how long they had been traveling here. "I am certain you are ready to return home."
"Yes, I am." Legolas replied with a smile.
"Yes, yes, come Sire, bring your steeds. Home is not far from here." Vilnor said bowing then bounding off with grace and speed. Legolas mounted his horse again and helped Gimli on as well then cantered after the company of Elves. He looked to Aragorn beside him and smiled. Aragorn, pleased to see his friend happy, smiled in return as they heard the horns of Mirkwood blow into the air announcing their Prince's arrival.
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Tell me what you think? Maybe, yes, no, please! Constructive criticism most welcomed.
D.Night
