CHAPTER THIRTEEN

~ finally she let her whole self be swayed by the resounding beat of her heart ~

Anata ni aete anata to sugoshite

Ima koko ni sotto ukabu

Afureru kono omoi o uketomete

-0-

You're brave, you're amazing

Here, now, gently surfacing

Receive this overflowing feelings

The storm sloshed and lashed on until the following night. It seemed to have broken up sometime in the day, but the mad, furious rain clouds were summoned back by some divining force as though to serve as a precursor to what was to come...

Ayako could hardly hear the roaring of Youhei's pink scooter as it sped through the rain. Apart from the blaring cries of the enraged weather, there were the strident squalls of her troubled spirit. Her heart had been beating out the tumultuous rhythm of fear and anxiety from the moment she stormed out into the backyard and found no sign of Rukawa's bike anywhere.

"I'll never get in the way of your happiness," his words echoed through her head as Youhei forced the scooter through the on rushing gale. Those were the words that the Rukawa had whispered to her ear just moments ago. Just before he walked out of Youhei's room and left her bleeding to the soul. He had meant to kiss her, she knew. And she had readily opened herself to it, waiting... Longing for his lips to make the blissful contact, despite knowing it was wrong...

But Rukawa didn't do it. Instead his hands slipped around her waist and drew her closer. And tightly, intimately he hugged her as though they had not seen each other for a long timeor they were never gonna see each other ever again...

The dense thunderclouds charged the nocturnal sky with gnarled and angry bolts. Heavier raindrops gushed forth from the heavens at the bellowing of the ensuing thunder. Ayako gasped and shivered as a colder, fiercer gale slapped her square on the face, almost knocking her out of breath. The rain had by now soaked her black and red Shohoku jacket, chilling her to the marrow and making the wound on her forearm throb painfully, to which she tried to remain oblivious. The maddening breeze felt cold in her ears. As cold as how Rukawa's voice felt when he whispered those words...

I'll never get in the way of your happiness.

Just what exactly was happiness? What was her happiness? Ayako cringed when just as suddenly as an unexpected assault, the biting coldness of the silver necklace around her neck pierced through her skin. It felt very much like a restraining cuff, binding her once again to the memories of Ryota Miyagiher supposed boyfriend whose condition she had not yet gotten the guts to bother about. Just the mere thought of him being in the hospital was appalling enough. And stoking the fire with its rattling blaze was the harrowing thought that one of them might never live long enough to see the other...

She had taken the necklace off yesterday morning as part of her attempt to rest from Ryota-thoughts for a while. And such a stupid idea it all was. The very foolishness that drove her, unarmed and completely vulnerable into the seething heat of illicit passion. Right into the warm, loving arms of former dead-face iceman, Kaede Rukawa.

It was clear to her now what she refused to acknowledge for a very long time. Everybody had known it, how come she was the last to realize? Had she been denying it because she was afraid that if she did let herself recognize it, she would eventually feel the same toward him? And would that have been bad at all? After all, she had been in-love with Rukawa long before she met Ryota, right? He was... her first love. If she had only known earlier...

I'll never get in the way of your happiness. Needless to say, the words stung like poisoned goads. Up to that moment, Ayako could still feel the toxic pang slowly seeping to her soul, threatening to snuff the life out of her. She knew there was only one antidote that could cure and save her from imminent death. That was to see Rukawa and be able to tell him how she really felt.

The sky continued to blaze profusely with nature's fireworks. Ayako cringed once again at the feel of the silver necklace. When she woke up this morning and became aware of her nakedness beneath the sheet, she instantly broke into tears of repentance. How could she have done something so... bad and yet feel so much bliss? It felt good while the feeling lasted. And that's what added more weight to her misery. How could she feel this way when she was supposed to be in-love with and committed to another guy? It didn't help much to think that this other guy was in the hospital and that his last thoughts before he succumbed to unconsciousness was of her

She was jolted out of her thoughts by a sudden drop in the scooter's speed. "Y-Youhei..."

"The storm's getting fiercer, Ayako-san," Youhei yelled amidst the wailing wind. "I think we'd better"

"Don't stop!" Ayako yelled back imploringly. She tightened her arms around the younger guy's waist and pressed her face against his back as tears began streaming down her cheeks. "Please! Please, Youhei! We need to find him!"

"B-But you don't understand!" Youhei's response sounded more like a whine than anything else. Ayako raised her head just in time to see the scooter's headlight blink several times before finally conking out, consequently bringing the whimpering vehicle into a complete stop.

"Dammit!" Youhei hissed, instantly bringing his feet with an irritated thud to the ground to hold the stalled scooter upright. "It broke down again!"

The thunderstorm continued to rage havoc, sending an onslaught of waves crashing against the shore, blotting out completely all the traces of a fun summer on the sand. They had reached the beach in their scouring, but Ayako wasn't aware of it until she dismounted the scooter and felt the grinding of sand beneath her shoes.

"Don't worry, Ayako-san," Youhei assured her as he crouched beside his scooter. "I'll get this fixed in no time."

Though Ayako didn't feel like putting much faith on that, she stood aside just the same and watched Youhei fiddle with the blasted vehicle, silently telling herself to calm down. But, God! How the hell was she going to when it felt like she would never survive another minute without Rukawa by her side? When all the voices inside her head were telling her that time was of the essence. Every dragging minute crucial.. Every ticking second counts...

"Where are you?" she mumbled as she looked out into the raging sea. And once again, as she wrapped her arms around herself, she became aware of the necklace around her neck. The iciness was cutting through her muscles, freezing the blood within her cervical nerves. On impulse, her hands reached back and unlatched the searing ornament, staring blankly at the heart-shaped pendant as it rested on her palm. The sight of it this morning brought to her mind everything that she had tried to set aside for a while. Everything about Ryota...

Amidst the celestial rumblings and the aquatic uproars, Ayako caught whiffs of Youhei cursing tartly behind his decrepit scooter. Faint yet dreadfully clear indications that the damage was more severe than what any of them had expected. She simply sighed and gazed back at the pendant in her hand as it reflected a spark of crude welkin lights. It was because of it that she realized, one by one, all the reasons that drew her closer and closer to Ryota through time.

How from irritation at his being such a troublemaker, her feelings for him grew into appreciation and admiration for his unwavering love and concern. And how this eventually became deep and ardent affection for the guy who had more than once put his life at stake for the sake of her safety.

That morning, she had meant to tell Rukawa this. Make it clear to him that what had happened between them the night before should never get in the way of their happiness... She knew Rukawa had made basketball his life. It's the only thing that should make him happy. And that morning, she was so sure that her happiness was with Ryota...

How could she have been so stupid? How could she have been so... dense to not realize who was really important? Who she really loved?

No matter how much effort she put into getting rid of whatever affection had sprouted inside her heart for Rukawa, it was all shoved deep into wasteland by his icy indifference the whole day. And instead of fleeing from the quagmire of the younger guys charm, she sunk deeper and deeper with each moment that he ignored and avoided her like the plague. It actually bothered her to think he had already forgotten about last night, when that exactly was what she had wanted him to do.

It hurt her to look into the emptiness in his blue eyes. He didn't seem anything like the guy who shared that heated night with her. His oblivious aura scathed her awfully that every time he passed by her acting as though he had not seen her, she wished she could just die right then and there. She had no idea why Rukawa was acting like that. All she knew was that it hurt her more than how Ryota's absence had tortured her.

But it took her a while to actually fess up to this. For her conscience was still insisting her love for her boyfriend when all her heart really wanted was to cry out Rukawa's name...

Until that night, she had intended to tell him about Ryota...

"I understand," Rukawa had said when they finally had a chance to talk inside Youhei's room. His slender finger slid from her lips to her chin, lifting her face up so he could look into her eyes. "I still feel the same, nevertheless." Ayako had gulped as she looked and drowned into those deep pool of lovely eyes, the coldness of which had now melted into a gaze of affection and longing...

Consequently, she was thrown into a trance and was frozen to willful surrender as Rukawa slowly leaned his face closer to hers. And though she knew it would be wrong, she had closed her eyes... and waited.

But what was supposed to be a kiss ended instead in a tight hug and Rukawa whispering, "I'll never get in the way of your happiness."

But... you are my happiness... Kaede...

The heavy rain was gradually subsiding, as though in accordance to the gradual dwindling of an old flame. Ayako clasped her fingers around the pendant as her eyes generated a storm of their own. She was in this state of emotional outburst when her sight was suddenly gravitated by some unseen force to a nearby promontory. And on it, she could make out the outlines of two persons, standing face to face near the projecting end of the rock.

Irrepressible panic instantly overwhelmed her. Though it took another transient blaze of lightning for her to actually discern his face, she knew from the very start that Rukawa was up there, confronting the adversary all on his own. Not to mention that the creep had a gun trained at the unarmed and openly vulnerable guy at that very moment.

Her legs went moving long before she became aware of their action. She could faintly hear Youhei calling after her, but could only care less. All that mattered at the very moment was getting to where Rukawa was...

She may not fully understand it yet, but she now knew what happiness would be and whom she wanted to share it with. Finally, she let her whole self be swayed by the resounding beats of her heart...

"Kaaeeddee!"

tbc