Never Eternal
by yumeneko
Disclaimer: As usual... Saiyuki is Kazuya Minekura-sensei's... I'm just using it for angsty stuff...
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This is a rewrite! I repeat! This is a rewrite!
Warnings: Huge amounts of angst. Sanzo + Hakkai semi-fluff in later episodes. Sanzo shall become OOC. Might drive you sick. Lots of blood and gore.
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"The wings of life have withered. Silently mourning to hold in the deep pain that lies beneath."
"Gojyo... Sanzo hasn't acted like himself recently..." Goku watched the blonde monk from afar. Sanzo was acting quite strange. For some strange reason, he constantly smoked. Yet, he never stopped to drink or eat. He just sat there near the window overlooking the fields where Hakkai died while he smoked.
"I know... He's still depressed over Hakkai's death."
"Why did Hakkai die?" Goku asked. Gojyo turned his back and cleched his fists.
"Because that bastard monster killed him! That's why! Kuso!" Gojyo kicked the ground in anger. Slowly, the anger turned to sadness, "I wish we could have saved him... If only he didn't die..."
"Gojyo..."
Meanwhile, inside Sanzo's mind, many questions arose. He thought erratically.
"Hakkai... Why did you die now?" Sanzo asked in his mind as he continued to smoke. All his visions was of the past. The blood when Komyo died, the guts on the floor from the wound in the stomach, the late Sanzo's terrified face, immortalized in death. And now he was haunted by Hakkai's death, the metallic smell of blood, the crimson field and unlike Komyo, Hakkai's face was calm in death.
"I haven't even told you how I really feel... I wish I wasn't so cold all this time... I really wish... I wish I can turn back time..." The cigarette in Sanzo's hand shook slightly and his arm fell to his side.
Gojyo put his hand on Sanzo's shoulder. Sanzo tried to recompose himself, but it was no use, his stern voice had been reduced to a slight whisper, "What do you want?"
"I know you're depressed about Hakkai's death... Do ya wanna get drunk over it?"
"Please... I don't wanna forget him..."
"Neither do I, but we do have a mission to finish."
"No. I don't think I can go on... I'm too weak."
"Stop admonishing yourself like this, Sanzo! This is not like you!" Gojyo yelled.
"I couldn't protect Komyo Sanzo... I couldn't protect Hakkai... I'm so damned weak!" Sanzo shouted in frustration.
"Sanzo... Please... Just for one glass of beer? Just to get over this..." Gojyo pleaded on the door.
"Fine then... but just one glass..." Sanzo opened the door.
"You surely have left a mess here..." Gojyo tisked as he looked at the surrounding cigarette butts strewn across the floor.
In a nearby bar, Sanzo and Gojyo both ordered equally strong liquor. Sanzo stared at his drink for a while Gojyo continuously drank.
"You're not drinking, Sanzo… What's the matter."
"Don't mind me…" Sanzo grumbled, "Just leave me alone!"
"Sanzo…"
"I said… LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sanzo angrily demanded as he left the bar. In the middle of the street, as he looked towards the direction of the battlefield where so many have died, someone caught his eye.
"There's someone in the distance... wearing green."
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A/N: CLIFFHANGER! Woohoo! Who the hell is this green-clothed figure?
Note about Sanzo's feelings:
Right, Komyo died and Sanzo kept on admonishing himself in his childhood that he couldn't protect him? The scene in chapter 1 caused Sanzo's memory to remember that time and so Sanzo fell into depression. That would be the reason why Sanzo would act OOC in most of the chapters. WAHH!! Sowie about the shortness of all my chapters!! Demo, demo… I just wanted to have some stalling in between chapters so that well… That would make people wonder about what could happen next.
