"Stuck In the Middle of Nowhere"
(A.N. For this chapter, I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to cross over this chapter into a chapter of my Courage the Cowardly Dog story, "The Return of the Hendersons: Operation Nowhere", which is a sequel to my highly acclaimed Courage story "Courage and the Hendersons". Characters and events from Chapter 8 of the "Operation Nowhere" story will appear in this chapter and vice versa. Try switching back and forth between these two chapters to compare them. So, let's see how this all plays out.)
I opened my eyes. I looked around and cursed out loud. I wasn't home at all. I felt like crying, but I pulled myself together and tried to figure out where I was.
I was on yet another road! A desert landscape lay before me. The only sign of civilization was a small town that sat on the road several miles ahead. The morning sun was beginning to head to its noontime position. Since I already felt like an egg frying on a skillet, I decided to head towards the town as quickly as I could.
I walked for about a mile before I saw the city limits sign and came to a halt. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, so I rubbed my eyes and looked at the sign again.
"Nowhere City Limits."
I let out a whoop of joy. I was in Courage's hometown! Courage the Cowardly Dog was, as I said before, my favorite Cartoon Cartoon. Without warning, I ran towards the town as fast as my feet could carry me.
When I arrived in the downtown area of Nowhere, I stopped to catch my breath. I had covered about two miles in ten minutes, so I was quite exhausted by now. I suddenly realized that I didn't know where to go next! I knew Courage lived on the outskirts of Nowhere, but where was that exactly? The show never stressed the town too often, so I was literally lost in the middle Nowhere!
I needed to find a phone book, so I walked down the sidewalk in search of a phone. I passed several people on the sidewalk, but they all pretty much ignored me.
I saw a public water fountain off to the side. I walked over to it and took a much needed drink. Then, afterwards, something rather odd happened. A man walked up to me wearing a black 3-piece suit, black pants, shoes, and shades. This man was also carrying a small notebook and a pencil. He looked like a federal agent or something. I'd never seen him in the show before.
"Excuse me, sir. Can I ask you a few questions?" asked the man in a deep voice.
"Uh, sure," I said. I saw an ID tag on his suit. All it had on it was a large 'R'. "Ask away, Mr. R."
"That's Agent R," said the man.
I was rather surprised that I had assumed this man's identity correctly.
Agent R continued. "Name?"
"Jonathan," I said shakily.
The agent seemed startled when I said my name. Did he know something about my background? Or was his name simply the same as mine, by some coincidence?
The agent quickly regained his composure. "Do you live here, Jonathan?"
"Oh, no," I said. "I'm just passing through."
Agent R seemed disappointed by my answer. "Have you ever been here before?"
"No," I said.
Agent R sighed. He put the notepad and pencil in his pocket, looked at me, and said, "Sorry I took up your time." With that, he walked down the sidewalk and dashed into a side alley.
For several moments, I stood on the sidewalk trying to figure out what the heck just happened to me. Since the man's name was Agent R, that must mean he worked for the government. But why was he here? Probably to investigate the weird stuff that happens in Nowhere. About time. I was a long time fan of the show, so I was well aware of creepy events that happened in Nowhere. As I began walking, I wondered what that agent would do to me if he found out that I knew about the town's strange occurrences and that I had lied to him about it. I began to walk faster.
Along the way, I passed a pet shop. I saw a young woman inside the building. She was wearing the same outfit as the guy I had just met, but she certainly wasn't acting like a secret agent. She was lying on her back in a doggie pen while several Golden Retriever puppies were jumping around her. She seemed to be enjoying herself and didn't even notice me staring at her through the front window. She reminded me of my little sister, who adores canines. Eventually, I grew tired of watching her have all the fun, so I continued walking.
After a while, I finally caught sight of a phone booth. I ran to it, but before I got there, a flash of pink caught my eye. Was it Courage? I looked harder. No, it wasn't Courage. It was some other pink dog. It appeared to be female and was traveling with a family of four. They were heading toward what looked like a museum. As they went in, I saw the pink dog enter a restroom.
My attention then turned back to the phone booth. I went inside and opened up the phone book. As I flipped through the book, I heard something outside. I looked up and saw a group of four agents who were walking toward the museum! As they went inside, I began wondering just how many agents were walking around here. I pushed that thought aside and tried to find the last name "Bagges". I wasn't exactly sure how the last name was spelled, but suddenly, the names Eustace and Muriel caught my eye. I dialed the number.
At the lonely farmhouse, Muriel answered. "Hello?" she replied.
"Uh, hello," I said. I was trying to come up with a good reason to be invited to her house. So I finally said, "I am a traveler and I need a quick place to rest. Could I stop by your house for a short while?"
"Why sure!" answered Muriel. She gave some directions and I thanked her before hanging up.
"Did you hear that, Eustace? We're having a new guest stop by today!"
"Blah blah blah," grumbled Eustace from his chair.
Off to the side, Courage began to grow nervous. Another visitor? Who could it be this time? Several thoughts came to mind. All of them scary. Courage howled with worry.
I followed Muriel's directions and arrived at her front porch within the hour. I knocked on the door and Eustace answered. "We don't want any," he said.
"Oh! Hello," exclaimed Muriel behind him. "Please come in."
I made my way to the kitchen table and collapsed into a chair. Muriel had fixed up a quick lunch, and gave some it to me. They were little cupcakes that had a sharp, bitter taste to them.
"What are in these things?" I said with my mouthful.
"There my special vinegar cupcakes!" she replied.
I somehow managed to swallow my bite, and pushed the rest of the cupcakes aside. "You'd probably like to know how I got here," I said.
Eustace entered the kitchen as Muriel said, "Well, certainly."
"You see," I began. "I've been all over the place trying to find my way back home. I can't seem to find any way to get back."
"Awww, you poor dear," said Muriel sympathetically.
"Yeah, too bad," answered Eustace in a sarcastic tone. He was drinking out of the milk carton from the fridge.
"Oh, Courage. Come see our new guest!" Muriel said, looking behind me.
I turned in my chair and beheld Courage standing there with a worried look on his face. I think he was confused to see the expression on my face, which looked like I had just seen my first celebrity in person. All I could do was wave my hand and shakily say "Hi" to him. Courage waved back, looking a little more comfortable by my behavior.
I looked down and noticed that I had some cupcake crumbs on my shirt. I looked at Muriel and said "Could I go out back and wash up?"
"Why sure! Just be sure to bring Courage along with you."
"Sure thing!" I said. "C'mon, Courage," I said excitedly. Courage followed me outside. I don't think he knew quite what to make of me. I hadn't threatened him at all, and that was probably the only reason why he thought I was friendly. I decided to calm Courage's nerves by introducing myself. I told him my name was Jonathan and that I was glad to meet him. Courage smiled a little and shook my hand.
I came to the water pump and Courage helped me clean up. On the way back, I stumbled over something half-buried in the ground.
"What the-...?" I said as I looked down. I got on my knees and wiped some sand away. I ended up holding a large bone in my hands. Courage hungrily tried to grab hold of the bone.
"Oh, is this yours?" I asked.
Courage shook his head.
"Do you know where this bone came from, Courage?" I asked.
Courage shrugged. He then began pantomiming and blubbering a bunch of syllables that sounded like "Aroo-roo-ra-roo-roo-roo." I got the impression that he didn't recall burying a bone in this part of the yard. I was also aggravated to discover that I couldn't understand what Courage was saying. I knew he could talk, but why couldn't he talk to me?
Seeing nothing else to do, I gave the bone to Courage and walked back to the house. Courage ravenously munched on the bone as he followed me inside.
I should've left the bone where it was. You see, that bone had belonged to a fierce Doberman who used to live in Nowhere. He died right behind Courage's house one night, and a freak sandstorm buried him and his bone. That bone was the only thing it had, but now that I had taken it, the Doberman's spirit was angered. It returned to his decaying body and started emerging from the ground like a zombie. In fact, that's what it looked like. It's rib cage was visible and one of his eyes was all green. (It resembled the evil dogs from the Resident Evil movie.)
Once inside, I sat on the couch while Courage gnawed on the bone at my feet. Courage looked like he was finally comfortable with being around me. Muriel was over cleaning out a closet while Eustace was in the kitchen. Things seemed kind of dull around here for the moment.
"I'm so bored," I muttered. "I wish something would happen." (You think I would have learned not to say something like that in a cartoon by now :P)
CRASH! A window shattered right before our eyes. A large thing had leaped through it from outside. Courage and I were shocked to see a zombie dog growling at us in the living room....in the middle of the day!
Courage and I screamed as the dog launched himself at Courage! Courage tossed the bone to me as the zombie dog flew past us. Courage and I quickly ran down the hallway with the half-dead canine right behind us. We ran all over the house. We inadvertently locked Muriel in the closet and ran into Eustace, who fell down the basement steps. After a lot of "AAAAUUUGGH!!"ing from both of us, the beast finally had us cowering in a corner of the kitchen.
Courage was whining and I was trying hard to stay conscious. Why was this scary Doberman here? I realized right then that this dog was looking at the bone I had in my hands. I handed the bone to Courage and the zombie watched the bone being transferred.
"Courage," I whispered to him. "I think we took this dog's bone." Courage looked at the bone in his paws with fear. "I think you'd better give it back to him," I continued.
Courage immediately put the bone on the ground in front of the zombie dog, let out an embarrassed laugh, and walked back to where I was. The zombie dog sniffed at the bone, grabbed it with his mouth, and leaped out the window from which he had come. Now his spirit could be at rest.
"Well.....that was scary," I somehow managed to say.
"Whew," said Courage with relief. For him, it probably business as usual.
The rest of the day was uneventful, believe it or not. Courage helped Muriel and Eustace out from where they were, and I apologized for putting them there in the first place as well as "accidentally" breaking the window. Muriel called the window repairman and he fixed up the window, good as new.
Soon, it began to get dark. My excitement of spending time with Courage was beginning to fade away. There wasn't a whole lot on TV, so I decided to leave.
"We wish you could stay and meet our other guests," said Muriel, as I was about to leave.
I never saw any other guests here, so I didn't know what she was talking about. But I smiled and said thanks.
"I hope you had a grand time staying here," Muriel continued.
"Oh, yes, it was quite an adventure. In fact," I said, as I glanced at Courage. "I've had about all the adventure I can take for one day."
So I said farewell, and I gave Courage a hug. Muriel and Eustace walked back inside, but Courage watched me leave from the porch.
"Bye, Courage!" I called out.
"Bye, Jonathan!" Courage answered. He then turned around and went inside.
It felt good to have Courage say something to me finally. When I was a considerable distance away from the house, I heard something behind me. I turned around and saw a station wagon pulling up to the house. It was probably those "other guests" that Muriel was talking about. Shrugging my shoulders, I continued walking.
I noticed some stars were beginning to appear in the darkening sky. I began to wonder if I had just visited all the Cartoon Cartoon shows that were made.
Then, I heard a roar of jet engines to side, and I suddenly remembered that there was still one show left...
(Sorry this chapter took so long to write. This past month has been VERY busy for me.)
(Only 3 chapters left! Grim and Evil parts 1 and 2, and the epilogue. Coming soon.)
