Never Eternal

by yumeneko

Disclaimer: As usual... Saiyuki is Kazuya Minekura-sensei's... I'm just using it for angsty stuff...

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Nothing was changed here.

Warnings: Huge amounts of angst. Might drive you sick. No Squaresoft here... Just plain old memories. Spoilers to Sanzo's past here.

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"I will travel again through the tried roads..."

Sanzo passed through the blinding portal once again and found himself back where he started. The hallways of the place of memories silent and cold. Farther away, he could hear the crashing of the river he would have to encounter once more.

Later on, he encountered the river once more, resisting the stinging water splashing against his face. He walked on, though he walked through water, he never got wet. It was a memory, after all.

He continued on, through the memory of Komyo picking up Kouryuu. He walked through gray walls, carved with pictures of peaceful days in Changan as Kouryuu. Then, he found the memory of him giving the prayer beads to the man who would be named Rikudo. After the room showing that memory, in the very center stood a stone replica of Changan. Sanzo scaled the structure and as he took the first turn to the right, he saw that Changan wasn't stone anymore. It turned colorful and somewhat... real.

There he saw the scene restart itself all over again. Kouryuu was asked to go to Komyo's room. There, in the room, he watched as Kouryuu received his new name. Sanzo looked off into the distance and saw demons running towards Komyo's room. The demons passed through Sanzo as if he was never there and indeed. He didn't get hurt since it was all a memory. Then the bloody scene shone in his eyes.

Komyo's bright red blood on his hands and face.

The blood covering his eye.

The scent of blood horrifying... detestable.

Sanzo stepped backwards as he stared at his hands. The blood of his master was smeared on them. But the sound of something rising from the ground distracted him. He saw that Changan and the blood had disappeared and all he could see was the stone statue of his master looking to heaven with a peaceful face.

"You dare challenge Fate?" He heard a voice echo.

"Show yourself!" He yelled back, his voice echoing in the darkness.

"If you wish I would..." He heard the voice laugh and from behind the statue of Komyo appeared the source of the voice, a masked shadow.

"You're inhuman..." Sanzo whispered dangerously.

"Of course. I am not human. I am not demon. I am neither god nor undertaker. I am just an enigma. That is who I am. Keeper of this place of memories. I forbid you to go forward and change the past!" The shadow challenged Sanzo.

"Well then, I might as well face you." Sanzo said confidently as he brought out his ofuda.

"Such a puny tool... Turn them into something more worthy to fight with." The shadow hummed. The ofuda turning into a sharp lance, "Now let's fight!"

Sanzo struck forward, but the shadow disappeared and kicked him away. He continued to chase the shadow, every try unsuccessful and answered by a kick or a wound. By then, Sanzo bled furiously. Gashes on his back and arms stinging with every movement.

"Hah! You'll never save him..." The shadow laughed.

Sanzo struggled to get up and with effort, he did. He supported himself on his lance. He then reminded himself, "What would giving up do? It won't bring Hakkai back... It will only take him away. If I give up now, what would happen? Everything I have done would be wasted. Everything I have done... They will be wasted. And I shall not waste everything I have done! Everything I have done for Hakkai!!"

And as the shadow lost himself in victory, Sanzo delivered the stab to the heart. The shadow began to bleed.

"This cannot be... Why am I dying?" He touched the bright red discharge, "I'm supposed to live forever... I cannot accept this... WHY MUST I DIE?!" He screamed as he was reduced to ashes that blew through the hall of memories.

As the wind blew, Sanzo continued his search for the memory...    

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A/N: Have I noticed this before, but do Macabre and Quietus use the same type of blood-red sword? Let's compare…

Macabre's sword is described as "blood-red lance" while Quietus uses a "blood-red sword". They are both under Hades and used to be friends, which probably means that they use the same style of fighting. So therefore, they most likely have identical swords except from the fact that since Macabre's a 'lance', which means that Macabre's sword is lighter and thinner compared to Quietus'.