A/N OK PEOPLE!!! I'm HOME!!! And to everyone who expressed concern about my mental health I thank you, but alas I have returned completely and certifiably insane. I even have war wounds as proof of my downward spiral. There is a big bruise under my eye from where the spawn of Satan HIT ME WITH HIS SKIS when I wouldn't get out of his way!!!! Now I know what you're all thinking, 'She's making this up to make us laugh' BUT I KID YOU NOT!!!! It was the trip that can conceivably challenge and conquer any and all debates on the existence of hell. BUT my irreversible emotional and mental damage has resulted in good things for my readers!! Because while I was holed up in the closet chewing my hair and trying to find some peace I wrote lots of new chapters which will be up just as soon as I finish editing them, which should be some time in the next day or so!!! So check back!! ALSO I wanted to include a special thank you to my reviewers, especially 'starbelly' you guys make my day!!

Disclaimer ~ I own nothing, I'm serious, I don't even own the computer I'm using or the shoes on my feet . . . sue me if you want, you'll spend more money on legal fees then you get from me, seeing as all that is in my pocket is a handful of random stuff . . . a lipgloss, a quarter, lint, and one of those rubber balls that you could send to Mars if you bounce it hard enough

Spoilers ~ Everything has happened up to episode 18 (where Jess' dad is rumored to make his appearance. . .I know this because I am a spoiler junkie)

IMPORTANT NOTICE ~ OK people, I know we include all of the necessary stuff at the beginning like A/Ns and Disclaimers and Spoilers, but I have decided to institute a new notice to be read before you actually get to read the story, it is called the 'Shameless Plug' so here goes.

Shameless Plug ~ cookie to anyone to who reads and reviews my other stories!!!

And on with the show . . .

Chapter 4: The Decision That Changed Everything

True to it's reputation, Stars Hollow was in a buzz by the time I exited the Inn. It took me less then a seven seconds of noticing how everyone freeze-framed the second I came close to realize they had leeched onto the latest news and were sucking it dry, talking about it in every conversation or stray phone call.

"Jess' father has come to Stars Hollow"

"His father? I didn't even know he had a father!"

"Well of course he does darling, and he's here. There was quite a confrontation this morning at the diner. Father and son reunited after all these years. Rory saw the whole thing, and Luke."

"Really? Have you met him? What is he like? What did Rory do? What about Luke?"

"No honey I haven't seen him, but its inevitable that I will at some point. We live in Stars Hollow you know, anyway, I just heard about it, apparently . . ."

It would be all over the county in a matter of minutes. I sighed slightly as I stepped onto the sidewalk and began to slowly make my way to the diner, all the while noticing the eyes flickering to focus on me, hearing the ill concealed spring of whispers as I walked by. I was the girlfriend and I had been there; two facts that indefinitely bound me to this newest chain of ripe controversy.

It was ironic really, just thirty minutes ago I was angry at the fact that nobody knew, that nobody cared. Now that they did I was praying for it to stop, for the boring eyes to find a new target, for the jaded minds to find something or someone else to think about.

I was walking past the playground at the community center, still lost in thought and still fruitlessly attempting to evade all wandering glances, when I stopped and backtracked.

Jess was standing there, leaning sullenly against the white fence, his hair blowing slightly in the wind and his intense eyes lost in a deep train of thought.

I stood where I was for only a few seconds before walking unhurriedly over and leaning my body against the fence right next to his, resting my elbows between the posts and clasping my hands together in front of me to give me something to stare at when every other place my eyes could fall was unwelcoming. I focused on my hands for a while, waiting in silence for him to talk, hoping against hope he wouldn't shut me out again, that he wouldn't shy away.

He didn't speak for a long time, and we stood there in an oddly comfortable silence. I glanced over at him every so often and noticed that he barely moved. The only thing about him that shifted was his shirt, which rose and fell with his breath. Other then that his position remained rigid and I noticed his eyes were fixed on something across the playground, and I followed his gaze to find that he was staring at Andrew, who was sitting near the swings, pushing his son back and forth and laughing with him.

Jess finally glanced at me and noticed where my gaze fell, and finally decided to speak "I missed that." He said gently, referring to the interaction between father and son, and I noticed that the anger and resentment that had coursed through his words earlier were no longer present.

I nodded slightly, as I said "I know you did, I did to," in a feeble attempt to be empathetic, I knew that my experience seemed so trivial compared to his, and I knew I could never even pretend to know everything he had gone through. At least I had grown up in a loving atmosphere with one good parent.

He didn't react to this, just continued to stare, obviously formulating words, and his face remaining completely impassive.

I looked at him closely now, trying to find something in his expression that I could identify, but as always he shielded his emotions well. It took him a while to speak and when he did it was simple. "Thank you" was all he said, and this time he looked at me.

"What for?" I asked, not entirely sure of his thought process but he was quick to explain. "For what you said this morning. It helped"

I smiled a little at this, I had helped him, it seemed I wasn't as ineffectual here as I felt.

I had been toying with the idea of telling him about my encounter with his father for the entire time I had been standing there, not knowing how he would take his dad's actions. I wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it, but I now found myself speaking, "I saw him, talked to him actually . . ." I trailed off, waiting for him to say something so I could decide whether or not to continue.

Jess had focused again on the family across the yard, but when I said this I saw a spark of pain in his eyes before it disappeared and he looked at me.

In turning my eyes to his I no longer found a shield, but instead saw something I couldn't recognize. Maybe it was longing? Maybe Jess needed to hear about him, and in this thought I decided to go on.

"He was at the inn. I bumped into him and he asked about you, asked how you were." At this Jess bit his lower lip and focused on the grass, lapsing again into deep thought as I finished my tale of the encounter. "I told him you seemed upset. I was actually kind of rude to him. But it has to be said that he seemed regretful, there is something strange about him Jess. I don't know if it's good or bad, there's just something about his eyes." Jess remained quiet again, and I followed suit as he mulled this over and I realized something.

That look in Jimmy's eyes, the weathered and wounded look, I realized that I have seen it before. In his eyes and his attitude it was not quite as magnified as in Jimmy's, but Jess had that same quality about him. Like he was wise beyond his years, like he had matured much quicker then should have been required of him. He could usually mask it, and keep a young, sprightly, and contagiously sarcastic attitude despite it, but it was there.

"Rory?" I was suddenly startled from my revelation by his voice. I looked at him, now exceedingly aware of his likeness to his father, and waited for him to continue.

It took him a while to respond, and when he did his voice was soft and calculated, like he had been pouring over this decision for hours instead of only thirty minutes, trying to decide whether or not it was wise. "I think, I'm going to go see him Rory. I just, it just feels important that I go . . . I don't know, I've been trying to figure this out since the second I left Luke's, disturbingly enough I even came up with one of your pro con lists in my head." He paused for a second, not even looking to see if I had smiled at his last statement.

I noticed his eyes flick back to Andrew and his son before he finished his statement. "For some unexplainable reason it feels like I owe it to him to go and talk. And maybe it will help me out, answer some of my questions, but I just wanted to let you know." With that he pushed himself backwards into a standing position and turned to walk away.

I watched him begin to walk for maybe five seconds before I called out. "Jess!" he turned slowly around, hands pushed in his pockets, shoulders hunched sullenly.

I drew a shallow breath before I continued "When you're finished with your dad, if you want to talk or something . . . you know where to find me." I said haltingly and I watched as he nodded shortly, he veiled it well but I thought I saw a look of relief flit across his face before he turned and walked away

I watched him walk for a while, his back straightening with every step, like he was preparing himself for something. Composing his attitude and his face to be completely submissive, no matter what was said to him in the next few hours.

He had long since disappeared before I detached my gaze from the spot where I had last seen him, before he made his way through the slew of construction workers who were erecting a stage behind the gazebo. The 'Lazy Hazy Crazy Days Of Summer' singers had apparently been such a success that Taylor had booked them to come back for this summer's festival. This time though, the festival was to be held in June, leaving poor Taylor to figure out what to do this year in order to fill September.

I then smiled slightly as I saw Sookie and Jackson walking arm in arm down Peach toward Luke's, they were only days away from celebrating their one year anniversary.

I was about to follow them into the diner when I paused for a second, Sookie and Jackson's one year anniversary wasn't the only anniversary that day. I remembered the wedding, it was the day that my life became a complete kaleidoscope, the day Jess and I had our first kiss. At the memory of this I expected to feel a smile tugging on the corners of my lips like it did every other time I thought of that kiss, but this time it didn't come.

It would have except for the feeling in my stomach, I can't explain it really, I just knew that this day was going to be just like that one. It was going to completely change everything, for better or worse I didn't know, and that made me uneasy.

I noticed then that I was standing with my hand on the doorknob to Luke's poised to open the door, and there were two of the five baby wielding J-Crew families waiting behind me to get in. So instead of keeping them waiting I pushed the door inward and stepped aside for them to enter, waiting until they had all gotten inside to close it behind them and turn toward home. I really needed some alone time to clear my head and stop thinking about all of this, and I wasn't going to find it in the very diner where just hours ago the whole fiasco had unfolded.