Chapter 5: Love, Dates, and All That Jazz
Author's Note: Just to say thanks for all the reading and reviewing. This is a bit shorter than the last chapter, but it stops at what seems to be an appropriate moment – got to keep you guys guessing :).
-----
That evening, Emily dedicated the first song in her now regular singing spot to Monica and Chandler. It was Ewan McColl's The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, and Monica was openly crying by the end. Then with a wicked little smile Emily swung into her next song, a traditional Irish ballad:
Come single belle and beau, unto me pay attention,
Don't ever fall in love, 'tis the devil's own invention …
and continued with the tragicomic tale of The Courting In the Kitchen. In fact, she made love a constantly recurring theme of her choice of songs that night, but never picked those that were truly sad or tragic, rather songs that were celebratory or at least lighthearted, even mildly risqué, though they might have a sting in the tail, like Home, Boys, Home. Here she got most of the customers joining in the chorus vigorously, as they followed the tale of how a sailor lad had seduced an inn's serving maid and left her money, with specific instructions for what to do if she should give birth either to a girl or a boy. Unable to conceal a grin, she sang the final verse:
Oh come all of you fair maidens, a
warning take by me,
And never let a sailor lad an inch above your knee.
For I trusted one and he beguiléd me,
He left me with a pair of twins to dangle on me knee!
Everyone burst out laughing and then bellowed the chorus like never before. She ended her set with the short, near-recitation I Was Walking In the Dew, which she sang a good deal more tunefully than Ronnie Drew of the Dubliners (whose voice has been so memorably compared to the sound of coke being crushed under a door). The whole coffee shop was still as she sang the last verse:
And now the sun is se-etting,
And I am walking all alo-o-one –
Yes, I-I am walking all alo-o-one,
My love has gone awa-a-a-ay,
My love has gone awa-a-ay.
Then she bowed and moved to join her friends, acknowledging the outburst of applause and cheers with a smile and wave.
'You make a good case for love,' said Chandler, smiling at her as she sat down.
'Well, so do you two,' said Emily. 'Your example inspired me. It's good to know things are going right for some people.' She cast a glance at Ross, who was slumped in his seat. He had not joined in the singing, and there was a decided air of melancholy about him. Seeming to feel her eyes upon him, he sat upright.
'You sang really well, Emily,' he said rather sombrely, 'especially the last one.'
'Thank you,' she said simply. 'Any luck with getting your job back?'
He pulled a face. 'Blowing my top when I saw these two lovebirds was not the best way to convince Donald Ledbetter that I had my rage under control,' he said rather disspiritedly.
'Sorry, Ross,' said Monica sincerely. 'We, um, got carried away.'
He grinned a little reluctantly. 'Yes, well, I can remember times …' A reminiscent smile appeared on his face, then vanished again. 'Memories are all I've got,' he said sadly.
Emily leaned forward. 'Ross, don't do that,' she said firmly. 'You'll never attract a woman if you go around feeling sorry for yourself all the time. Try to be like you were when I first met you. Look, at least you'll soon have an apartment again. That's something to be cheerful about.'
His face brightened. 'Yeah, that's true – but I'd better get a job pretty soon, too, if I'm to go on being able to pay for it.'
'I'm sure something will come along any time now,' said Rachel encouragingly. 'You're far too good at your stuff to be left out of a job for long.'
'Why, thank you, Rachel,' he said, smiling at her. 'I didn't know you cared so much about my "stuff",' he added a little playfully.
'Oh, I care,' she said seriously, 'but about you, not your stuff.' She held his suddenly startled gaze for a moment, then turned away, giving her characteristic little cough, and said, 'So, Emily, how's the getting home fund coming along?'
'Well, if I keep getting all these wonderful tips for my singing, it shouldn't take too much longer,' said Emily. 'But – '
'Oh please don't go back to Britain!' Phoebe burst out. 'Stay here with your friends!' Everyone looked at her in surprise. She seemed confused by the vehemence of her own words, and blushed. 'I'm sorry, Emily,' she went on more quietly. 'Of course you should go home. It's just that … I do like having you around, and if you go I'll really miss you.' Her expression was sad.
'Phoebe, what I was going to say,' Emily continued in a mock-severe tone, 'is that I don't think I want to go home yet. I enjoy your company, all of you, and being in New York, and getting paid for singing.'
'Then you're staying?' cried Phoebe in delight, bouncing up and down on the couch. 'Yay!'
'For a good while, anyway,' said Emily, smiling at her enthusiasm. 'And now that I've made that decision, I'll tell you now, I'll start contributing to the rent.' As Phoebe made to protest, she waved her down. 'I can perfectly well afford it, if I don't have to save for an air ticket, and I shouldn't sponge off you, especially when you haven't got much yourself. Please let me, Phoebe.' She leaned forward and patted her on the knee affectionately.
'Oh, okay,' said Phoebe, seeming a little flustered.
'Hey, this is great,' said Rachel, turning and giving Emily a hug. 'To go on having our Em to sing for us.'
'Boy, Rachel, you certainly have changed in your attitude to Emily,' said Joey in surprise.
Chandler smacked his forehead in frustration, Ross groaned, Monica rolled her eyes and sighed deeply, Phoebe shook her head in despair, but Rachel and Emily just smiled.
'Joey, don't you notice anything that's going on around you unless it's an apparently available female passing by?' said Rachel. 'Emily and I have been friends for ages. We've buried our past differences. That is so over.'
Ross appeared very struck by this, as he had been by Rachel's earlier comment, and looked thoughtful. But then, as Emily kept a surreptitious eye on him, he shook his head and his expression became mournful again. She sighed. It was going to need something very strong to push him out of his present mood of melancholy.
Just then Gunther came up with the results of the collection that he now took regularly for Emily, beaming.
'Better than ever,' he said. 'Say, Emily, could I talk to you privately for a second?'
Suspecting what was coming, she smiled at him. 'Okay,' she said, and went with him to the counter.
'I would like to ask you to go on a date with me,' he said abruptly, and then pulled a face, evidently feeling that he might have phrased it better.
'Why, thank you, Gunther,' she said. 'I'm flattered, and happy to accept. What were you thinking of?'
'We could have dinner, maybe even see a show,' he said hopefully.
'I'd prefer a film,' she commented, not wanting him to spend too much money on what might never get anywhere, 'but I'm always up for dinner. There are so many different kinds of food to eat in New York, and I haven't sampled half of them yet.'
He grinned, more at ease. 'I've noticed you like your food. Good for you, I say. How about tomorrow night?'
She inclined her head. 'That's fine. I won't do my spot, then.'
'No, Phoebe can fill in,' he said, 'and you and I can take the evening off. I can find plenty of cover. Can you be here about six?'
She smiled. 'I'll be here.'
'He asked you for a date, didn't he?' said Phoebe as Emily sat down again.
Emily nodded. 'He's obviously interested. I'd like to see what there is behind the façade. After all, if he was an actor once …'
'I'm an actor,' said Joey suddenly. 'Will you go out with me, Emily?'
'Wow!' said Emily with exaggerated enthusiasm. 'All this time without offers, and now two on the same night! Well, Joey, I'm not saying no, but it can't be tomorrow night, and I don't think Gunther would be too pleased if I took a second evening off this week. But the weekend would be fine.'
'Ooh, Emily's getting some action!' cried Phoebe, with a little light mockery in her tone. 'But you watch out for Joey. He'll "beguile" you, given half a chance.'
'Hey, Pheebs!' Joey protested. 'It's not like that.'
'That will be a first, then,' commented Ross satirically. 'What happened to the code, Joey – all that about not dating your friends' ex-girlfriends, which should apply even more to ex-wives?'
Joey looked abashed, but defiant. 'Well, I … I just want to go out with Emily.'
'I don't remember signing up to any code,' said Emily lightly. 'This wouldn't be the code where men agree with each other who can go out with women who are related to them, or have gone out with them, and women don't get any say in the matter?'
Now Ross looked uncomfortable too. Chandler laughed. 'That's the one,' he said. 'As often applied to sisters.' His amused gaze took in both Ross and Joey.
'Hey, if you'd been interested enough in Mary-Angela to remember which one she was, I'd have been perfectly happy with it!' said Joey explosively.
'Okay, okay!' said Monica. 'No sense in starting up old fights. Emily goes out with whoever she pleases, and nobody should object.'
Emily grinned. 'I'd like to see anyone try to object.' She held up a fist.
'I, I was just trying to goose Joey,' said Ross apologetically.
'That's okay, Ross,' she said, smiling at him. 'I did realise. But I think I can look after myself – even with Joey.'
Joey started to say something, but Phoebe put a hand across his mouth. 'Don't, Joey. You'll only dig yourself in deeper. Just be grateful Emily will accept a date, and keep quiet.'
There was a ripple of laughter. Joey grinned and kept quiet.
-----
Surreptitiously, Emily sighed. She had enjoyed the film that Gunther had picked, and she was very much enjoying the Chinese meal that they were eating, but it had to be faced: on a date, Gunther was boring. He couldn't seem to chat easily about all kinds of things, the way they did in Central Perk. Instead, he seemed to think it was necessary to tell her the story of his life, of which she had heard the best bits already, interspersed with occasional rather lame compliments. She guessed he was nervous as hell.
At a pause in the conversation, she decided to try something out. 'You don't get many dates, do you, Gunther?' she said in a sympathetic way.
He shook his head. 'No, and maybe' – he gave a little grin – 'that's why I never seem at ease on a date. I'm sorry.'
She waved it aside. 'You just need practice. Have you ever tried asking any of our regular customers for a date?'.
He looked surprised. 'No, it … never occurred to me.'
'Well,' she said, 'I may be right, and I may be wrong, but I think that one or two of them might be interested in you. I've noticed one who always seems to be getting into conversation with you, and she has that look about her, as if she wanted you to ask her out. I think her name's Elizabeth. You know, the one who's always humming Bye Bye Miss American Pie.'
'Oh, her,' he said, suddenly animated. 'You think … she's interested in me? She's very cute, but I can't help feeling she's a bit young. Won't she think I'm old and boring?'
'All I can say is, she doesn't show any signs of it,' said Emily. 'I've noticed her listening in on our conversations. Seriously, Gunther, I think you should make a move. She may well think you still have a crush on Rachel … and if she says no, you could always try Jenni,' she went on. 'She always comes in with friends, but she looks at you quite often.'
Gunther raised his eyebrows. 'You certainly notice a lot about our customers.'
Emily grinned. 'It's a female thing, spotting who has a crush or might be interested in someone, all that, and when you keep seeing the same people, and are looking out for something …'
'You're looking out for people interested in me?' he said in surprise.
She blushed a little. 'Well, yes. You see, you're very nice, but …'
'Ah yes, "but",' he said. 'I get a lot of that.' But he was smiling as he said it. 'Well, even if we didn't click, I'm very pleased I asked you out, Emily, because you have given me hope. Now, have you had enough to eat?'
Emily looked at the almost empty plates and bowls. 'I think so. I'm not too keen on desserts, anyway.'
Gunther finally got the check. Fortune cookies came with it; he read his out. '"You will find happiness with a new love." H'm, that implies I had an old love, but still … promising.'
Emily looked at hers. '"A woman is like your shadow. Follow her, she flies; fly from her, she follows." Ha, written by someone who can't understand why women won't just do what he wants, no doubt.' She stood up. 'Well, thanks for a great evening, Gunther. I really hope you find someone.'
He smiled broadly. 'So do I. At least I have prospects, and an idea. I'll try to spot if anyone else shows interest in me, though maybe I'd better check with you that I'm not misreading their behaviour!' He chuckled. 'And what about you? I understand you're going on a date with Joey.'
She grinned. 'That's just for fun – I can't see myself taking Joey seriously.'
Gunther shook his head. 'Don't underestimate the guy, Emily. You know what I think? He may not realise it himself, but all the time he's looking for someone to click with. He just never gives it time, and he doesn't really know much about women, except in one way, so he's rarely very easy with them.'
'How true,' said Emily. 'Well, be that as it may, I'm not sure I want to "click" with him. He's very sweet, but …'
'Ah, a different "but",' said Gunther, grinning. 'It's good to know the Joeys of this world get "but"ted too.'
'Oh, more than your kind do, if anything,' said Emily. 'In our heart of hearts, we know he's bound to cheat, sooner or later; he can hardly help himself. So mostly we treat him as just for fun, a vacation from looking for a serious relationship. To be honest, it doesn't seem as if he minds.'
'Maybe, deep down, he does,' said Gunther. 'And that's why he's always dumping his women.'
Emily nodded, interested in this different point of view. 'You study the group more than your other customers, don't you?'
Gunther sighed. 'It was all because of being hung up on Rachel, and so watching her all the time with her friends, and listening in when I could. Well, at least I'm over that.'
'Good,' said Emily, hugging his arm in a friendly fashion. 'Hopeless crushes are a waste of precious time, and it wasn't good for you. I've never said this, Gunther, but it wasn't a very nice thing to do, telling on Ross to Rachel like that. Okay, he shouldn't have done it, but the poor man was in such a state, thinking he'd lost her …You can't help feeling sorry for him.'
Gunther frowned heavily. 'All very well for you,' he growled. 'I don't suppose you've felt anything like what I was feeling, then. He was putting her through hell, the way I saw it. Maybe he's changed since, though setting you up with Bye Bye Love hardly suggests it.'
'He did apologise,' said Emily. 'And we're all friends now. But he's just so sad all the time. If you had any plans to needle him, don't, there's a dear.'
'You're up to something,' said Gunther, looking at her with a little grin. 'Well, okay, if you want to try getting him back with Rachel, I won't stop you. But I've got money that says, you won't manage it, or if you do it won't last.'
'H'm,' said Emily. 'We'll see about that. Count yourself lucky I think this is too serious to make bets on.'
There was a degree of lightness in her tone, to which Gunther responded. They grinned at each other and chuckled, content to remain friendly colleagues.
Later, Emily was telling Phoebe about her date. Phoebe had seemed to show something very much like relief when Emily made clear that she was not interested in Gunther emotionally.
'So you're going to solve the problem of the centuries, and get Ross and Rachel back together?' she said. 'Anything I can do to help?'
'Actually, Phoebe, there is,' said Emily. 'Here's what I want you to do …'
