The Benefits of Wiznet
By: Calypso in Love
Chapter Three: [Hack Attack]
Last Time:
Hermione attempts to hack onto BigNastyDragon's account and discover who he is. But her plan is thwarted and suddenly there's a bomb in her room…?! Will she survive? And who is BigNastyDragon? And will Hermione be forced to eat NEW food?! *gasp*
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Hermione stared at the bomb. Apparently she had less than a minute to live. Huh.
1:01
1:00
0:59
0:58
Hang on a second… bomb? Bomb in room? Explode? Die? Kill family? Kill Crookshanks? Kill Hermione? That… not… right…?
0:42
Bomb kill…
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MER-FUCKING-LIN THERE'S A BOMB IN MY ROOM! AAAAH!"
Hermione jumped out of her chair and searched the room frantically for Crookshanks. Not here.
"EEEEK! EEEK EEK EEK! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Damn damn damn damn.
"CROOKSHANKS! CROOKSHANKS! CROOKSHANKSCROOKSHANKS! HERE PUDDY-WUDDY?! PSHWUHWUHWUHWUH?!"
Crookshanks stuck his head through the door and looked at her with his fat orange head cocked to one side.
"Hermione stop yelling up there!"
Parents.
0:24
"AAAHHHH! MUM! DAD! GET OUT OF THE HOUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!"
Hermione barreled down the stairs, knocking over her Mother who was standing at the bottom looking wary and pissed (justifiably).
"Hermione Victoria Gra-" Hermione Victoria Gra-bbed her Mother before she had a chance to finish, or even start, her speech.
"Where's Dad?"
"At the grocery…"
"Thank-you!" Hermione cried to no one in particular, since she didn't want to take God's name in vain and Merlin's was in serious overuse. Crookshanks pushed his ears back against his head in protest to all the noise.
"Hermione Victoria Gra-" Elise was knocked unceremoniously across the front lawn by her uncontrollable daughter. "HERMIONE! Stop this at once or I-" As they dashed wildly/were dragged wildly across the neighbour's lawn, they tripped over a wooden flamingo and flew headfirst into the nearest prize Daffodil garden. They lay stunned for a moment. A moment until Crookshanks, who was still under one of Hermione's arms, bit it very hard. This resulted in:
a scream of pain and outrage a cat being flung through the air into a prize Sunflower garden The owner of both prize gardens crying out in misery as she pulled into the driveway"Crookshanks I'm gonna KILL you, you fat little-"
"Hermione Victoria Gra-"
"MROW! YEOW MOW FIFIAOW!"
"My FLOWERS! My beautiful, perfect, beautiful, prize-winning, perfect, beautiful FLOWERS! *wail*"
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The tense silence was so horrible that Hermione almost wished for the catastrophic noise of earlier. Almost.
The knife sliced away, unyielding to pressure, unconscious of all the pain. Hermione winced as it bit into her flesh. Why did her punishment always have to be like this? Damn her parents. She couldn't let them do this to her again…
"I'm not eating that you sickos!" Hermione cried, pointing at the large mound of meat on the cutting board. Elise continued slicing it into small, thin strips with a grim set in her jaw.
"Hermione, it's only a little emu meat. You have to try new things sometimes. Ok honey?" Richard Granger spoke absently from behind his newspaper.
"No it's not ok! It smells revolting!"
"It'll smell different when it's cooked sweetheart."
"Can't I just have steak?"
Ok, so maybe it wasn't punishment, in their minds, but it was pretty damn close, to Hermione. Them and their strange foods. Hmmph. She rolled her eyes and stared sullenly at the table for a moment before stomping up the stairs.
She had been forgiven for the incident once she had explained, although she received a doubtful look (or two), and she was grounded for a week. Crookshanks had not yet reappeared. The neighbour-lady's prize flowers were being replanted by professionals tomorrow. Sigh.
It hadn't been a bomb.
Grr. They had waited, but it hadn't exploded. Finally, with great trepidation, Hermione crept upstairs and looked into her room. The bomb was no longer there. But there was a present box in it's place. Hmm. She shut the door behind her and crept over to it warily, pressing her ear to it.
No ticking noise. There was a note though. It read: OPEN ME.
Ha. She wasn't going to fall for that one. Like she'd open a gift from her hack-ish enemy. Ha.
There was little teddy bears on the wrapping paper. Hee hee.
No wait, enemy.
But all you had to do was pull the little string and…
Hack-ish EN-EM-Y.
Tug.
The wrapping paper fell away from the box and the sides slowly began to drop away as well. There was a note in the middle. It read:
Hermione,
Congratulations on getting into my account at all, quite a feat (Hermione permitted herself a smug smile). I enjoyed your performance tremendously and have made a home Wizeo (on WizVD) so I can enjoy it in the future. Give my condolences to your neighbor-lady. Those were nice flowers. Congratulations once again,
BigNastyDragon
Hermione threw the letter to the floor and jumped on it. She crumpled it and threw it at the wall. She tacked it to her bulletin board and threw thumbtacks at it (the darts were missing. Damn). Then she threw it into a little jar of blue fire and watched it disintegrate. And then she flushed the ashes down the toilet.
Sweet revenge. She sat down on the edge of her bed, fingering the patchwork quilt her grandmother had made for her absently. Hmm.
Wait, how had BND gotten a Wizeo of her "performance"? Huh…? And…
How did he know her name?
Oh yeah. The whole hack-y thing. Damn that hack-y thing.
TBC
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AN: Since numerous people pointed out that it was obvious who BigNastyDragon is, I'll explain. Obviously it's obvious! Jeez! I'm not stund, despite what you may think. It's called DRAMATIC IRONY. In case you've been asleep in English class, DRAMATIC IRONY is when the audience knows something that a character doesn't. DRAMATIC IRONY is used for DRAMATIC or COMIC purposes. As this is a COMEDY, I thought it would ENHANCE the COMIC VALUE if I used DRAMATIC IRONY. SHAKESPEARE used DRAMATIC IRONY. It is LEGIT. GRR.
Ok, I'm better now. :D Love you all. Just been listenin' to too much Fur Packed Action… *sings 'The Peep Show'* Wait, I shouldn't sing that here. What's the rating of this story?
Colbaltswhisper- Thank-you! I myself would give it a 0, but probably I'd be a little less rude and a little more mature. Manners, subtlety, child! But it was childish of me to respond to your review wasn't it? Let's just be friends :D
