Chapter Two: OH SCREW THIS!
Life Law #6: There is no reality; only perception.
Strategy:
Identify the filters through which you view the world. Acknowledge your history
without being controlled by it.
"Captain Harris, can you hear me?" a feminine voice asked. He thought it might be from the person whose fingers were currently prying open his eyelids and blinding him, but he couldn't be sure. Not with his eyes closed. Finally relenting, he allowed the lid to be forced open and blinded. Ok, so he still couldn't see. Finally as the flashlight was turned off and he opened both eyes, blinking them in rapid succession, he was able to make out various people standing around them.
He noticed the woman in the lab coat first; the silver bar of a First Lieutenant pinned on the collar of the Air Force blue button up shirt that she wore underneath the white smock. The stethoscope around her neck and clipboard in her hand, he was fairly assured she was a corpsman. "Captain Harris, welcome to Stargate Command." She smiled in a very patronizing manner; it left Harris with the feel that he should know something. What it was he couldn't fathom.
"Sorry about earlier," It was the young blond officer he had seen around the corner before he became incapacitated. It was the young blond officer he had seen around the corner before everything went black. She was pretty up close. Not the super model style that his old friend Buffy had been – or even Cordy, but still, in her own way this woman with her dark narrow eyes and locks that curled around her ears was amazing.
He looked to the Doc for permission before sliding his legs off the gurney. "S'ok, Lieutenant, I think." He said noticing the one gold bar. His head swam a bit before he turned back to the brunette lady with the silver. "So, Doc?" he inquired.
"Fraiser." She finished. "How are you feeling on your first day Captain?"
"Well, Doc, the weirdest thing, my tour guide ran off with out me. I feel like a rat in a maze…or a human that doesn't know he's on an experimental planet created by the rats^. Then I got electrocuted, or that's what it felt like at least." He watched as the two ladies looked absolutely confused and smirked.
"Are you sure your not just thinking that you did because you forgot a towel?" A voice came from around the curtain near his bed. A face soon followed, confirming Harris' suspicion that the voice sounded like the high-ranking officer he saw with the blond.
Harris saluted, "No, sir. Didn't forget it. Lost it with my duffle during the drill."
The officer smirked, "At least you didn't forget it Captain." The older man turned his smirk into a sadistic smile. "Hi, Colonel Jack O'Neill."
"Captain Alexander Harris reporting for duty, Colonel." Harris stood acting every part the 'perfect soldier'.
"At ease, son," An older voice came from a balding man that wore two stars on each shoulder.
Harris saluted again, "Yes sir." He sat back down on the gurney.
What followed next was a basic run-down of the happenings under the mountain in the bustling town of Colorado Springs while they walked through the halls of the complex to the briefing room. On the way he found out that he had been hit with a zat gun, 'zat' being short for Zat'nai'whatever'thing. One shot to stun, two would kill, and three… well he'd end up like the vampires from home when they met 'Mr. Pointy'.
An ancient artifact, boy that had a familiar ring to it, Harris thought as his head swam from the information. Found in Egypt, then figured out a few years ago by a now deceased Dr. Daniel Jackson. From what was said it seemed like Jackson was the equivalent of Giles from back in his days as a Scooby. Discovering what had been overlooked, researching and also keeping the peace between allies. Jackson had been a member of the flag team for the program, SG-1, under the command of Colonel O'Neill.
The actual Stargate was a wormhole thing-a-ma-jig that transported people to other worlds. From the look on the faces around him, it seemed they were shocked a bit by how easily he accepted the whole idea. He found it interesting when in reference he called it a thing-a-ma-whatever, and everyone but the Colonel grimaced. No, O'Neill glowed! Bright like a big brother would when his younger sibling mimicked his actions. Harris was told about some of the races of people, and humans he would meet.
Then he was told about the Goa'uld. They sounded too much like things he experienced in his past. Never exactly but close enough to cause him to suppress a shiver of distaste, and those replicator things… just eww.
General Hammond, the two star man, concluded the briefing, "Son, you will be assigned to SG-1. They've had a bit of a rough time finding a new member for their team."
Harris cleared his throat, "Sir, how many replacements have they had so far?"
"Almost thirty." Hammond looked a bit confused by the question and the rest of SG-1 –Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, and Teal'c – looked ashamed. Ok, so Teal'c raised an eyebrow that could be…if stretched a bit guilty.
Harris knew he had to play his cards right with this team, he saw the glint of suspicion in their eyes. He could understand how, with all that SG-1 had been through, they would be this way with anyone. "Sir, with all due respect, I would like to request a temporary assignment elsewhere first." This got the attention of everyone in the room.
O'Neill jumped in before Hammond could question Harris' appeal. "Huh? Wwhhhyyy?"
"Well, sir, I figure if I get a temporary position elsewhere, and bide my time until you have gone through at least fifty men, women, or aliens, then I might stand a better chance at success with your team. See, by that time, you'll be sick of dealing with others. I take liberty in assuming that General Hammond will be sick of it all by that time as well. So when you finally get to me, you will be stuck with me."
If they weren't twenty plus levels below ground, they would have heard crickets chirping happily away in the room.
Everyone looked away from the new kid for a bit, each lost in his or her own contemplation. Nearly at once, the three members of SG-1 looked to each other, as if receiving confirmation and spoke together.
"He's in."
"I like him."
"Indeed."
Hammond chuckled at the scene. A good long while had passed since the team agreed on anything.
"You still need to prove yourself, Harris." O'Neill warned. "General, with your permission?" He walked over to a wall that appeared to be windows with blast doors just outside them. Hammond nodded his ascent and O'Neill opened the gray metal shields.
Harris looked down into the gate room at the metal circle, which he could swear he'd seen before that some point, as O'Neill called through the PA system. "SG-15 you have a go." Harris' eyes were fixed on the ring as the inner layer began to spin. He felt the room shudder slightly as it powered up, and with a great whhooossshhh a water funnel poured out of it and towards the windows. It calmed down after that to a shimmering pool of liquid silver. O'Neill standing next to him heard, as SG-15 walked through it, from Harris a very quiet, "Oh screw this."
***
^ if you have absolutely no clue about this then you never met Arthur Dent or Ford Prefect. Dent is the last human, well except for the president of the Galaxy's secretary. And Ford… well ok its Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy… or one of the books in the series in which, after earth has been destroyed to make room for the intergalactic Highway, the white mice complain that their whole experiment, and all its data, of putting humans through various tests while observing through the mazes the humans create for the 'unsuspecting' *cough* mice, has been ruined. As with all my references to HHG: ttG in any of my fics, thank you to the late great Douglas Adams. We miss you! Hope you took your towel.
