The Alphabet Song
by: Aki Midori, of course
E-Mail: autumn_wind04@yahoo.com
Genre: General / Non-sense (I invented that genre, in case you might wanta know), and yeah, Humor too.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Pure, unadulterated OOC-ness, wackiness, craziness, non-sense-ness (I invented that term, too, in case you're wondering), lots of whatever-ness or other ness'es there is.
Pairing: RuSen
Authors Blah:
Okay... So I know that I should be updating Kaede Jr. right now, but I've read CheeKy's comments on my angst fics (pure angst, mind you), so I gotta write this fic (since Kaede Jr turned out to be a sad fic). CheeKy wonders where the old, lunatic, crazy, bubbly Aki-chan went. Oh well, pal, here I am... and crazier than ever! So, this fic's for you! No more sad fics! (For the moment, that is.) ^^;
And thank you to all those who kept on reviewing and reviewing Kaede Jr. And also those two angst fics I got there. Oi, miku, how was your finals? And what's that thing about me making you look like an idiot or something, hmm? You're great, and that's final!!! And thanks for that 'Gravitation' cd too.
Enjoy, minna! ^_~
diScLAimERs: Slam. Dunk. Isn't. Mine. Darn.
---------------------------------------
The Alphabet Song
"A! *I'M* adorable, B! I'm so beautiful, C! I'm so CUTE and full of chaaaaarm!"
Rukawa never knew that Sendoh owned a few loose screws. Never.
"D! I'm a darling, E! I'm exciting, F- I'm a feather in my aaaarms!"
Rukawa was now wondering how the hell that Koshino person can put up with that nitwit. Sendoh sounded worse than a strangled peacock. And the ego... Talk about the ego. Rukawa never knew that the object of his *ehm ehm* 'affections' was worse than the self-proclaimed tensai. He never knew that the cool and sophisticated Sendoh Akira could be such a dweeb.
"Urusai!" Koshino snapped in a deadly voice. His eyes were very narrow as of the moment, and though the two Ryonan players were four tables away from Rukawa, the latter could clearly understand that Koshino Hiroaki was downright pissed.
"G! I'm so good to me, H, I'm so heavenly... Ne, Hiro-kun, what comes next? Lemme see... ABDEFGH... I, I'm the one I idoliiiize!"
"Shut the hell up, Akira," Koshino snapped for the umpteenth time. "Geez, talk about ego. Stop that, or I'll leave you alone and you can forget about-"
"Aaw, come on, Hiro. It's fun," Sendoh said as he ruffled Koshino's hair. Koshino gave him the death glare, but Sendoh just smiled and continued to molest his vocal chords.
Rukawa sighed. For the eighty-seven-thousandth time in his life, he wondered what kind of relationship Sendoh Akira and Koshino Hiroaki have. Sure, he knew from -er, uh- 'sources' that the two were just best friends, but sometimes, he couldn't help but think that they're something *more*.
And if that was the case, then he knew that he was just wasting his time, his energy, and his everything.
But then again, stalking Sendoh Akira has always been his favorite pastime (besides basketball, no questions asked, please), so... oh well... back to business. He rested his chin on his hands as he watched the riot that Sendoh was instigating. Rukawa sighed. Sendoh is sooooo kawaii! In all of his stalking escapades, this was the first time he has seen Sendoh act this way. A bit on the, uh, 'retarded' side, but kawaii, nonetheless.
Oops, caught in the act.
Koshino saw him staring at Sendoh and gave him a strange look before he proceeded to sulk in his seat and complain about the injustices of life and asking the heavens as to why they let a decent man like him be stuck with such a moron like Sendoh.
Rukawa grabbed the Microbiology text book he took with him (props, of course), and pretended to be engrossed in it. Pathetic, but it works most of the time.
"Q, R, S, T! Alphabetically speaking, I'm o~kay! U make my life complete-"
"That's it, Sendoh! I'm leaving! I still have my dignity, thank you very much," Koshino snapped as he stood up.
Sendoh tensed up. No, Hiro can't leave him alone! He has to have a reason to stay here! After all... the great super rookie was here in this same cafe!
"Hiro, don't leave!" Sendoh whispered.
"Then stop singing that stupid song!"
"Hey, don't shout! He might hear you!"
"I don't care if Hitler himself hears me, just stop singing that stupid song!"
"Okay, okay! I just wanted to get *his* attention."
"Sendoh Akira, I am willing to bet all my money that you turned that walking ice block off," Koshino snapped. "That is, IF he noticed you at all. I mean, look at him! Microbiology? I'm beginning to think that Rukawa Kaede isn't human."
"Hey, don't say that!" Sendoh exclaimed.
"Keep it down, moron," Koshino warned. "People are staring at us."
"Sit down."
"Fine."
"Arigatou, Hiro-kun!" Sendoh whooped and stole a glance at the *ehm* yummy kitsune who was four tables away. "Ne, Hiro-kun, do you think he's waiting for someone?"
"How the hell should I know?"
"Perhaps he's waiting for Sakuragi-kun?" Sendoh wondered out loud. "After all, they're always together."
"How did you know?"
"Stalked him."
"Oh."
"Ne, Hiro-kun, what if he and Sakuragi-kun are... you know... a couple aleady?" Sendoh asked, suddenly turning serious. "They're always together, you know. And when Rukawa-kun's with Sakuragi-kun, he *smiles.* He smiles, Hiro, and he talks a lot too. He's very happy when he's with Sakuragi-kun. Unlike when he's with me. He's very very cold when he's talking to me."
Koshino studied his best friend. He had never seen Sendoh like this. Sendoh was always cool about everything, so to see him in this dejected state made Koshino forget about his minor irritation.
"I've never seen you like that before," Koshino said.
"Like what?"
"Serious about something," Koshino replied. "Excluding, of course, that alphabet racket. You're serious about Rukawa, aren't you?"
"Of course I am," Sendoh said. "I've never felt this way before. Not with the girls I've been with. Not with anyone, ever."
"Why him?" Koshino asked.
"I... I don't know," Sendoh replied. "I admit, at first, I liked him because he's handsome -no, make that beautiful. Too beautiful for a guy, you know. His coldness amused me. I mean, granite is more lively than him! He's my complete opposite, so that alone drew me to him. But when I get to know him during those one-on-ones, I realized that there's something more than physical attraction. It's just too bad that I never tried to reach out, ya know. When we get together, it's always like basketball, best of ten, first to twenty or something like that. We never really *talked*, but I got to know him through his actions. And then I just realized that I've..."
"You've what, Sendoh Akira?"
"I've fallen hard for him." It was a whisper.
"Why don't you tell him, then?" Koshino asked. "And be serious about it, damn you! Try to get his attention the *normal* way, not with some stupid improvised alphabet song!"
"Hey, I just wanted him to know that I am endowed with such gifts," Sendoh said, his happy mood returning again. "I *am* adorable. I *am* beautiful. I *am*-"
"Okay, okay. I get the picture," Koshino snapped (yet again). "Shut the hell up."
"Shutting up," Sendoh said quickly. He glanced at Rukawa for the forty-eighth time that day. "Ne, Hiro, isn't he soooooo kawaiii? And studious, too."
"Hn. If I knew better, he probably wanted to doze off again," Koshino said before he directed his attention to the now melted peanut butter flavored ice cream[1].
Four tables away, Rukawa was wondering what the hell Sendoh and Koshino were talking about. Their heads were so close together! It was like as if they have some hidden conspiracy or something. Sendoh looked pretty serious. He wanted to hear what they were saying, but their voices were too low.
"Ore wa tensai! Sakuragi Hanamichi!"
Guess who? ^_^;
Rukawa sighed. 'Not now,' he thought.
"Basketman... Sa-ku-ra-gi!"
Rukawa slumped in his chair, hoping against hope that Sakuragi wouldn't see and approach him. He buried his head further into the microbiology book he was 'reading'.
"Oi! Kitsune! What are you doing here?"
So much for microbiology bullshit. Rukawa took note that he's going to bring a wig and a pair of sunglasses the next time he wanted to go out and stalk.
"Leave me alone, Hana."
With that, Hanamichi pulled the chair next to Rukawa, sat down on it, and moved it closer to the latter.
"Exactly what part of 'leave me alone' don't you understand?" Rukawa asked. "Or are you so goddamn stupid that your pea-sized brain couldn't even comprehend such a simple sentence?"
"Wow, Kaede, that's exactly 27 words in two sentences," Sakuragi remarked, thereby proving to Rukawa and the readers that he... well... well, he proved to everyone that he could *count*. A~nd he could distinguish a sentence! Well, whoopdedoo!
"You could count. Bravo," Rukawa dryly said. "You are a multi-talented individual."
"Your speech is improving. That's good," Sakuragi said. He leaned closer to Rukawa and asked him again, "What are you doing here, Kitsune? It's not like you to spend time in a crowded cafe like this. Plus, I know you'd rather be hibernating again, than stay at such place, so there must be a good reason why you're here."
"Hey, you have a brain. Congratulations, Sakuragi Hanamichi," Rukawa said.
"And sarcastic, too," Sakuragi retorted. "Come on, best friend. Tell me why you're here."
Rukawa saw that Sakuragi wouldn't back down, so he sighed, pulled Sakuragi by ear, and whispered, "Nine o'clock from your position, four tables away."
Sakuragi frowned. "Nine o'clock what? You're gonna meet someone at nine? But it's already-"
"Goddamn you, it's a direction," Rukawa seethed. Sakuragi understood and looked four tables from his left. There he saw the spiky-haired ace of Ryonan, plus... oh well... his teammate. He doesn't remember the name. A tensai doesn't bother with lowly creatures (including that cold bastard kitsune, but he's a best friend, so he's an exception).
"Oh! You're stalk- Mmph!"
"Keep it down, goddamn you!" Rukawa said as he clamped his hand on the redhead's mouth. Sakuragi fumed and struggled, but Rukawa held still.
"Mmmph! Pffitsune! Thake fyour fphand fhoff!" Sakuragi cried out.
"Keep it down, 'ahou," Rukawa said. Sakuragi nodded vigorously. Rukawa pushed Sakuragi's face away from him.
"Ow! Baka yarou!" Sakuragi cursed as he massaged his face. He glowered at Rukawa. "Okay, so you're stalking that hentai again. Get a life, Rukawa Kaede! Why don't you just approach him, back him up in a corner, and tell him what you feel?"
"I don't see you doing that to Haruko-san."
"Temee!" Hanamichi growled. "Hey, we're not talking about me. We're talking about you. I mean, look at you! You are so pathetic! And what's that? Microbiology? Sheesh, who are you kidding? I bet you don't even know what Microbiology means! At least, I'm trying my best to win Haruko-san's heart. What about you? What do you do? You just hide in a convenient corner, hide yourself under a thick book which you don't give a damn about, and stare at that horny hedgehog for the better part of the day!"
"My life nor my activities are none of your business," Rukawa snapped.
"Come on, Kaede, you're my best friend," Sakuragi argued. "You're not going to get anywhere if you continued that non-sense. Go ahead and tell him how you feel."
"It's not that easy, Hana," Rukawa pointed out.
"Why not?"
"Koshino?"
"Who?"
"That guy he's with," Rukawa said while gritting his teeth in sheer annoyance. Someday, he's going to feed this moron to the sharks of the pacific.
"Oh. That. Well, what about him?"
Rukawa closed his eyes and counted backwards from one hundred to calm his raging nerves. His best friend is the densest nitwit on earth. How he could put up with Sakuragi, he doesn't know, but he often praised himself for being so goddamn patient.
"Oi. What about him?"
'Calm down, Rukawa. Remember, you're talking to a moron. Be patient.'
"Oi!"
"Can't you see, you freakin' dimwit? They're going out! They always hang out together, their heads are like, *glued* to each other, they're like 'Hiro-kun' and 'Akira' bullshit, and they're always together- wait- I said that already-... And... and... and... well they're going out!" Rukawa ranted. So much for calming down. Sakuragi could practically see flames in Rukawa's eyes while he spoke, so he backed off a little.
"But how did you know for sure?"
"You stupid nincompoop! I just told you! They're always-"
"Yeah, yeah, I heard that correctly. No need to shout," Sakuragi said with a non-chalant wave of his hand. "And oh, take your hand off my collar. I just bought this shirt yesterday, and I'd like to use this for the next few years, thank you very much."
Rukawa released Sakuragi's shirt with a 'hmp'. Well, he didn't even know that he grabbed it somewhere in the discourse of his 'irritation'.
"And besides, *we* always hang out together, yet, we're not a couple. Unless you want to think of it that way..." Sakuragi teased.
And Rukawa actually *snarled*.
"Come on, Kaede, one way or another, you've got to tell him," Sakuragi insisted. "It'll be easier for you. When you do that, at least you can breathe easier. You won't have any regrets. I promise."
"How'd you know?"
"I know... because I'm feeling the same way now," Sakuragi said. "It's getting harder for me to breathe, ya know. It's getting harder for me to get by, especially when I'm hanging out with her. I feel as if my heart's going to burst. I wanted to tell her what I feel, just so I could ease my heart."
"You're suddenly so serious, Hana," Rukawa said quietly. Sakuragi gave him a sad smile.
"Yeah, well...-"
"Stop frowning," Rukawa interjected. "And get that darn smile off your face. It doesn't suit you."
"Kaede."
"Let's make a deal," Rukawa proposed. "You tell Haruko your feelings for her, I tell Sendoh that I've fallen in love with him. After that, we're home free. How's that?"
Sakuragi narrowed his eyes. "I know you, you little cheat. You won't tell him anything at all. You're just saying that to make me feel better."
Rukawa flinched. Darn, he should spend less time with this 'ahou.
"You're a coward, that's what you are," Sakuragi said, his annoying grin back on his face. "You won't even tell him. You'd just continue to stalk him for the rest of your miserable existence."
"Take that back."
"Oh yeah? I bet you wouldn't even take a simple challenge," Hanamichi said, knowing that a 'challenge' would push Rukawa to do some action.
"What challenge?"
"Tell Sendoh that you've fallen for him."
"I'll do that. In fact, I'll do that right now."
"No, you don't understand," Sakuragi said, grinning even wider. "You have to be *creative*."
"Now, what the hell do you mean?"
"You to tell him your feelings with style."
"You wish."
"Hah! I knew you couldn't do it!"
"Shut up, what the hell do I have to do?" Rukawa asked. "I bet you I can do it better than you ever could."
"Does that mean you'll accept the challenge?" Hanamichi asked.
"Yeah," Rukawa drawled. "And when I did whatever challenge you give me, make sure you'll wear a grass skirt and do the hula while you tell Haruko your feelings."
"Deal," Sakuragi said. He suddenly stood up, grabbed Rukawa by the arm and dragged him out of the cafe.
Four tables away, a spiky-haired ace was trying hard to fight his tears.
*******************
"Okay. It's decided," Ayako said with finality, hitting the table with her deadly paper fan the way a judge would hit a gavel during a court session. "We have to make it clear that the decision was based on the choice of the majority. It's been decided upon votation that instead of dancing the Macarena and the Ketchup Song, reciting an excerpt from Shakespeare's Macbeth, performing a dramatic monologue, and performing a mime, Rukawa Kaede will serenade Sendoh Akira along with the other starting members of Shohoku Basketball team with the exception of the captain, thus singing the song suggested by the majority, which is the Alphabet Song."
The boys hooted. Haruko cheered. Sakuragi cackled. Rukawa fumed.
Why did Sakuragi have to involve the whole team? He would never forget the torture he'd been through while his team mates thought of the most 'creative' way of telling Sendoh Akira his feelings and voting on which is the best. Plus, he had to go through another round when they suggested the songs. Someone suggested 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' and 'Ladybird, Ladybird'. Frankly, Rukawa couldn't figure out what Mary's possession of lamb has to do with his feelings for Sendoh. He doubted that ladybirds are concerned either.
His teammates were too twisted for the likes of him.
Finally, they have to settle for the Alphabet Song, since, according to Kogure, it has 'sufficient' lyrics and that would 'insinuate' his feelings for Sendoh.
"That's it, then!" Miyagi exclaimed. "Mitsui, Sakuragi and I will play the second voice. Akagi-sempai would conduct, Kogure-sempai would play the guitar, Aya-chan will take care of the tambourine- or was it the triangle?- and Haruko-san will play the maracas. And you, Rukawa, will be the lead."
"Ne, Kitsune, aren't you grateful to the team?" Sakuragi asked. "We all decided to help you! Isn't it nice of us to do so?"
"Yeah, Rukawa," Miyagi agreed. "You should thank us."
"That's right," Mitsui said. "Anyway, we're going to do this tonight. Tonight, all your dreams will come true, Rukawa Kaede."
Rukawa doubted that.
Tonight, Rukawa thought, Sendoh Akira would cease to talk to him forever.
"You should thank us," Sakuragi said.
Rukawa Kaede, at the moment, wanted to die.
***************************
"Are you sure I look okay, Hiro?" Sendoh asked for the fifty-ninth time.
"Yes, you look fine, so stop pacing!" Koshino snapped.
"Are the sunflowers[2] okay? Will Rukawa-kun like these sunflowers?"
"Well, you don't have any choice, do you? The flower shop ran out of roses," Koshino pointed out. He was sitting (sprawled was more like it) on Sendoh's sofa while the latter kept on pacing and pacing and pacing until Koshino thought that his neck would snap.
"What about the tie?"
"I'm sure Rukawa wouldn't have any aversions towards Tweety."
"The polo shirt?"
"Periwinkle's a good color."
"The hair?"
"More erect than usual, but it's fine."
"What about the pants?"
"I'm sure Rukawa wouldn't mind the knee-holes on your slacks. They look cool. And um... 'ironic'."
"The shoes?"
"Rukawa wouldn't blame you if you wanted to wear your lucky rubber shoes."
"Do I look okay, Hiro-kun?"
"How about if you stop pacing and thinning your carpet and get your ass over to Rukawa's apartment?" Koshino asked irritably.
"What if Sakuragi-kun's there? What if they're really dating, and that-"
"Hey, we talked about this already," Koshino interrupted. "You said that you would just tell him your feelings, and that you wouldn't expect anything from him. Don't turn back now. If worst comes to worst, well at least, you were honest with him and yourself."
Sendoh smiled and gave Koshino a brotherly hug. "Arigatou, Hiro-kun."
"What are friends for?" Koshino said, his irritation now forgotten. "Hey, it's seven o'clock. Get going. I'll watch over your house while you're gone."
"Thanks again Hiro..." Sendoh trailed off. "Ne, Hiro, did you hear that?"
Koshino frowned and tried to listed to the surroundings. "Is that a guitar?"
"And a tambourine?"
"And a maracas?"
"Where-"
"It's from outside," Koshino said as he dragged Sendoh towards the latter's balcony. When they got there, Koshino didn't know if his heart would stop beating whether because of shock or from controlling his laughter.
Down below was the second best team in the perfecture. Kogure was calmly sitting on the side-walk, strumming the guitar. Ayako was hitting the tambourine on either her palm, or Miyagi's head. Haruko was happy enough with her maracas. Mitsui, Miyagi and Sakuragi stood near Rukawa, all three wearing shirts with coconut trees printed on them plus pants with a smiley on the left thigh. Akagi was wearing a tux and was holding a conductor's stick. Rukawa was on the very front, giving Sendoh a look of desperation, of anxiety, of irritation, of appreciation, and even of something else which Sendoh couldn't quite put his finger onto.
He smiled down at Rukawa.
Perhaps he has a chance with the younger guy after all.
"Oi! Smiley! Listen to what Rukawa has to say! Let's hit it, everyone!" Sakuragi said while signalling his cohorts to start the racket.
Everyone looked at the primitive-looking captain of Shohoku. Akagi nodded and started conducting.
The guitar was the first. Then the tambourine. Then the maracas. And then Rukawa.
Sendoh thought he would die when he heard Rukawa's soft, but angelic voice. Never mind the song. And never mind the three frustrated singers /screaming/ and /howling/ in the background.
A you're adorable
(Adorable!)
B you're so beautiful
(Beautiful!)
C you're so cute and full of charm
(Full of chaaaaaaaarm!)
D you're a darling
(Darling)
E you're exciting
(Exciting)
F you're a feather in my arms
(My aaaaaaaaarms!)
G you're so good to me
(To me!)
H you're so heavenly
(Heavenly)
I you're the one I idolize
(Idoliiiiiiiiize!)
J we're like jack and jill
(jack and jill)
K you're so kissable
(kissable)
L you're the love life in my arms.
(My aarrmsss...)
(M, N, O, P,)
I could go on all day...
(Q, R, S, T!)
Alphabetically speaking... you're okay *wink**wink*
U make my life complete
(Complete!)
V means you're very sweet
(Sweet!)
(W, X, Y, Z)
It's fun to wander through the alphabet with you, to tell you what it means to me.
(To me!)
By the end of the song, tears were falling from Koshino's eyes while he laughed helplessly, crumpled on the floor of Sendoh's balcony.
"Man! Y-you guys.. should s-stick to b-b-basketball! Hwahahahaha!!!" Koshino said in between gasps.
"Come down here and say that to my face!" Sakuragi yelled. "It's not easy being the second voice!"
"Second-... Hwahahahahahaha!!!"
"Why- you..."
Sakuragi was now being held by his team mates while he struggled profusely, wanting to bash his fist on Koshino's face. Rukawa, on the other hand, was looking cool on the outside, but he knew that his palms, his armpits, his *whole* body was sweating from anxiety.
'That's it,' he thought, 'Sendoh's never gonna talk to me again.'
But Sendoh vanished from the balcony and the next minute, he was in front of Rukawa.
They stared at each other for a long, long time, ignoring the riot around them. They didn't hear Sakuragi's ranting, nor Koshino's laughter, nor the other people's attempts to either calm Sakuragi or attack Koshino (who was still laughing his head off at the balcony). No, Rukawa and Sendoh weren't paying attention to the riot. Nor did they pay attention to the sirens of the police cars. Someone called the police and reported that a bunch of teen-aged deviants were attempting to destroy the serenity and solitude of the community. An old woman reported that these teen-aged deviants were against world peace.
No, Rukawa and Sendoh weren't paying attention to the racket. They were too busy reading the emotions swimming on each man's eyes.
"You look... good," Rukawa said, breaking the silence.
"You sing well," Sendoh said. "I mean it. But they drowned your voice, so it was hard for me to hear you."
"Oh."
"So."
"So."
"Oi, quit rambling and just say what you want to say!" Sakuragi and Koshino yelled to their respective charges.
"Anou... Akira-"
"Anou... Kaede-"
"You first-" they both said. The whole team, plus the cops and the people who gathered to see what the commotion was about sweatdropped.
Sendoh and Rukawa shrugged.
And then they both dove towards each others mouth, earning applause from the audience.
"I never knew the alphabet song was so romantic," a passerby said.
Everyone just nodded their heads in agreement.
*******
o.wa.ri
*******
PS...
Rukawa pulled away from Sendoh and went to his bag and rummaged into it. He pulled out a pink grass skirt, and tossed it over to his best friend.
"Deal's a deal," Rukawa said as he walked back to Sendoh and wrapped an arm around the older guy's waist. "Do the hoola."
*******
o.wa.ri
*******
[1] I don't know if that flavor exists.
[2] I don't know if there are sunflowers in their place. I just got to write that one...
March 2003
Revised: 18 October 2003
by: Aki Midori, of course
E-Mail: autumn_wind04@yahoo.com
Genre: General / Non-sense (I invented that genre, in case you might wanta know), and yeah, Humor too.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Pure, unadulterated OOC-ness, wackiness, craziness, non-sense-ness (I invented that term, too, in case you're wondering), lots of whatever-ness or other ness'es there is.
Pairing: RuSen
Authors Blah:
Okay... So I know that I should be updating Kaede Jr. right now, but I've read CheeKy's comments on my angst fics (pure angst, mind you), so I gotta write this fic (since Kaede Jr turned out to be a sad fic). CheeKy wonders where the old, lunatic, crazy, bubbly Aki-chan went. Oh well, pal, here I am... and crazier than ever! So, this fic's for you! No more sad fics! (For the moment, that is.) ^^;
And thank you to all those who kept on reviewing and reviewing Kaede Jr. And also those two angst fics I got there. Oi, miku, how was your finals? And what's that thing about me making you look like an idiot or something, hmm? You're great, and that's final!!! And thanks for that 'Gravitation' cd too.
Enjoy, minna! ^_~
diScLAimERs: Slam. Dunk. Isn't. Mine. Darn.
---------------------------------------
The Alphabet Song
"A! *I'M* adorable, B! I'm so beautiful, C! I'm so CUTE and full of chaaaaarm!"
Rukawa never knew that Sendoh owned a few loose screws. Never.
"D! I'm a darling, E! I'm exciting, F- I'm a feather in my aaaarms!"
Rukawa was now wondering how the hell that Koshino person can put up with that nitwit. Sendoh sounded worse than a strangled peacock. And the ego... Talk about the ego. Rukawa never knew that the object of his *ehm ehm* 'affections' was worse than the self-proclaimed tensai. He never knew that the cool and sophisticated Sendoh Akira could be such a dweeb.
"Urusai!" Koshino snapped in a deadly voice. His eyes were very narrow as of the moment, and though the two Ryonan players were four tables away from Rukawa, the latter could clearly understand that Koshino Hiroaki was downright pissed.
"G! I'm so good to me, H, I'm so heavenly... Ne, Hiro-kun, what comes next? Lemme see... ABDEFGH... I, I'm the one I idoliiiize!"
"Shut the hell up, Akira," Koshino snapped for the umpteenth time. "Geez, talk about ego. Stop that, or I'll leave you alone and you can forget about-"
"Aaw, come on, Hiro. It's fun," Sendoh said as he ruffled Koshino's hair. Koshino gave him the death glare, but Sendoh just smiled and continued to molest his vocal chords.
Rukawa sighed. For the eighty-seven-thousandth time in his life, he wondered what kind of relationship Sendoh Akira and Koshino Hiroaki have. Sure, he knew from -er, uh- 'sources' that the two were just best friends, but sometimes, he couldn't help but think that they're something *more*.
And if that was the case, then he knew that he was just wasting his time, his energy, and his everything.
But then again, stalking Sendoh Akira has always been his favorite pastime (besides basketball, no questions asked, please), so... oh well... back to business. He rested his chin on his hands as he watched the riot that Sendoh was instigating. Rukawa sighed. Sendoh is sooooo kawaii! In all of his stalking escapades, this was the first time he has seen Sendoh act this way. A bit on the, uh, 'retarded' side, but kawaii, nonetheless.
Oops, caught in the act.
Koshino saw him staring at Sendoh and gave him a strange look before he proceeded to sulk in his seat and complain about the injustices of life and asking the heavens as to why they let a decent man like him be stuck with such a moron like Sendoh.
Rukawa grabbed the Microbiology text book he took with him (props, of course), and pretended to be engrossed in it. Pathetic, but it works most of the time.
"Q, R, S, T! Alphabetically speaking, I'm o~kay! U make my life complete-"
"That's it, Sendoh! I'm leaving! I still have my dignity, thank you very much," Koshino snapped as he stood up.
Sendoh tensed up. No, Hiro can't leave him alone! He has to have a reason to stay here! After all... the great super rookie was here in this same cafe!
"Hiro, don't leave!" Sendoh whispered.
"Then stop singing that stupid song!"
"Hey, don't shout! He might hear you!"
"I don't care if Hitler himself hears me, just stop singing that stupid song!"
"Okay, okay! I just wanted to get *his* attention."
"Sendoh Akira, I am willing to bet all my money that you turned that walking ice block off," Koshino snapped. "That is, IF he noticed you at all. I mean, look at him! Microbiology? I'm beginning to think that Rukawa Kaede isn't human."
"Hey, don't say that!" Sendoh exclaimed.
"Keep it down, moron," Koshino warned. "People are staring at us."
"Sit down."
"Fine."
"Arigatou, Hiro-kun!" Sendoh whooped and stole a glance at the *ehm* yummy kitsune who was four tables away. "Ne, Hiro-kun, do you think he's waiting for someone?"
"How the hell should I know?"
"Perhaps he's waiting for Sakuragi-kun?" Sendoh wondered out loud. "After all, they're always together."
"How did you know?"
"Stalked him."
"Oh."
"Ne, Hiro-kun, what if he and Sakuragi-kun are... you know... a couple aleady?" Sendoh asked, suddenly turning serious. "They're always together, you know. And when Rukawa-kun's with Sakuragi-kun, he *smiles.* He smiles, Hiro, and he talks a lot too. He's very happy when he's with Sakuragi-kun. Unlike when he's with me. He's very very cold when he's talking to me."
Koshino studied his best friend. He had never seen Sendoh like this. Sendoh was always cool about everything, so to see him in this dejected state made Koshino forget about his minor irritation.
"I've never seen you like that before," Koshino said.
"Like what?"
"Serious about something," Koshino replied. "Excluding, of course, that alphabet racket. You're serious about Rukawa, aren't you?"
"Of course I am," Sendoh said. "I've never felt this way before. Not with the girls I've been with. Not with anyone, ever."
"Why him?" Koshino asked.
"I... I don't know," Sendoh replied. "I admit, at first, I liked him because he's handsome -no, make that beautiful. Too beautiful for a guy, you know. His coldness amused me. I mean, granite is more lively than him! He's my complete opposite, so that alone drew me to him. But when I get to know him during those one-on-ones, I realized that there's something more than physical attraction. It's just too bad that I never tried to reach out, ya know. When we get together, it's always like basketball, best of ten, first to twenty or something like that. We never really *talked*, but I got to know him through his actions. And then I just realized that I've..."
"You've what, Sendoh Akira?"
"I've fallen hard for him." It was a whisper.
"Why don't you tell him, then?" Koshino asked. "And be serious about it, damn you! Try to get his attention the *normal* way, not with some stupid improvised alphabet song!"
"Hey, I just wanted him to know that I am endowed with such gifts," Sendoh said, his happy mood returning again. "I *am* adorable. I *am* beautiful. I *am*-"
"Okay, okay. I get the picture," Koshino snapped (yet again). "Shut the hell up."
"Shutting up," Sendoh said quickly. He glanced at Rukawa for the forty-eighth time that day. "Ne, Hiro, isn't he soooooo kawaiii? And studious, too."
"Hn. If I knew better, he probably wanted to doze off again," Koshino said before he directed his attention to the now melted peanut butter flavored ice cream[1].
Four tables away, Rukawa was wondering what the hell Sendoh and Koshino were talking about. Their heads were so close together! It was like as if they have some hidden conspiracy or something. Sendoh looked pretty serious. He wanted to hear what they were saying, but their voices were too low.
"Ore wa tensai! Sakuragi Hanamichi!"
Guess who? ^_^;
Rukawa sighed. 'Not now,' he thought.
"Basketman... Sa-ku-ra-gi!"
Rukawa slumped in his chair, hoping against hope that Sakuragi wouldn't see and approach him. He buried his head further into the microbiology book he was 'reading'.
"Oi! Kitsune! What are you doing here?"
So much for microbiology bullshit. Rukawa took note that he's going to bring a wig and a pair of sunglasses the next time he wanted to go out and stalk.
"Leave me alone, Hana."
With that, Hanamichi pulled the chair next to Rukawa, sat down on it, and moved it closer to the latter.
"Exactly what part of 'leave me alone' don't you understand?" Rukawa asked. "Or are you so goddamn stupid that your pea-sized brain couldn't even comprehend such a simple sentence?"
"Wow, Kaede, that's exactly 27 words in two sentences," Sakuragi remarked, thereby proving to Rukawa and the readers that he... well... well, he proved to everyone that he could *count*. A~nd he could distinguish a sentence! Well, whoopdedoo!
"You could count. Bravo," Rukawa dryly said. "You are a multi-talented individual."
"Your speech is improving. That's good," Sakuragi said. He leaned closer to Rukawa and asked him again, "What are you doing here, Kitsune? It's not like you to spend time in a crowded cafe like this. Plus, I know you'd rather be hibernating again, than stay at such place, so there must be a good reason why you're here."
"Hey, you have a brain. Congratulations, Sakuragi Hanamichi," Rukawa said.
"And sarcastic, too," Sakuragi retorted. "Come on, best friend. Tell me why you're here."
Rukawa saw that Sakuragi wouldn't back down, so he sighed, pulled Sakuragi by ear, and whispered, "Nine o'clock from your position, four tables away."
Sakuragi frowned. "Nine o'clock what? You're gonna meet someone at nine? But it's already-"
"Goddamn you, it's a direction," Rukawa seethed. Sakuragi understood and looked four tables from his left. There he saw the spiky-haired ace of Ryonan, plus... oh well... his teammate. He doesn't remember the name. A tensai doesn't bother with lowly creatures (including that cold bastard kitsune, but he's a best friend, so he's an exception).
"Oh! You're stalk- Mmph!"
"Keep it down, goddamn you!" Rukawa said as he clamped his hand on the redhead's mouth. Sakuragi fumed and struggled, but Rukawa held still.
"Mmmph! Pffitsune! Thake fyour fphand fhoff!" Sakuragi cried out.
"Keep it down, 'ahou," Rukawa said. Sakuragi nodded vigorously. Rukawa pushed Sakuragi's face away from him.
"Ow! Baka yarou!" Sakuragi cursed as he massaged his face. He glowered at Rukawa. "Okay, so you're stalking that hentai again. Get a life, Rukawa Kaede! Why don't you just approach him, back him up in a corner, and tell him what you feel?"
"I don't see you doing that to Haruko-san."
"Temee!" Hanamichi growled. "Hey, we're not talking about me. We're talking about you. I mean, look at you! You are so pathetic! And what's that? Microbiology? Sheesh, who are you kidding? I bet you don't even know what Microbiology means! At least, I'm trying my best to win Haruko-san's heart. What about you? What do you do? You just hide in a convenient corner, hide yourself under a thick book which you don't give a damn about, and stare at that horny hedgehog for the better part of the day!"
"My life nor my activities are none of your business," Rukawa snapped.
"Come on, Kaede, you're my best friend," Sakuragi argued. "You're not going to get anywhere if you continued that non-sense. Go ahead and tell him how you feel."
"It's not that easy, Hana," Rukawa pointed out.
"Why not?"
"Koshino?"
"Who?"
"That guy he's with," Rukawa said while gritting his teeth in sheer annoyance. Someday, he's going to feed this moron to the sharks of the pacific.
"Oh. That. Well, what about him?"
Rukawa closed his eyes and counted backwards from one hundred to calm his raging nerves. His best friend is the densest nitwit on earth. How he could put up with Sakuragi, he doesn't know, but he often praised himself for being so goddamn patient.
"Oi. What about him?"
'Calm down, Rukawa. Remember, you're talking to a moron. Be patient.'
"Oi!"
"Can't you see, you freakin' dimwit? They're going out! They always hang out together, their heads are like, *glued* to each other, they're like 'Hiro-kun' and 'Akira' bullshit, and they're always together- wait- I said that already-... And... and... and... well they're going out!" Rukawa ranted. So much for calming down. Sakuragi could practically see flames in Rukawa's eyes while he spoke, so he backed off a little.
"But how did you know for sure?"
"You stupid nincompoop! I just told you! They're always-"
"Yeah, yeah, I heard that correctly. No need to shout," Sakuragi said with a non-chalant wave of his hand. "And oh, take your hand off my collar. I just bought this shirt yesterday, and I'd like to use this for the next few years, thank you very much."
Rukawa released Sakuragi's shirt with a 'hmp'. Well, he didn't even know that he grabbed it somewhere in the discourse of his 'irritation'.
"And besides, *we* always hang out together, yet, we're not a couple. Unless you want to think of it that way..." Sakuragi teased.
And Rukawa actually *snarled*.
"Come on, Kaede, one way or another, you've got to tell him," Sakuragi insisted. "It'll be easier for you. When you do that, at least you can breathe easier. You won't have any regrets. I promise."
"How'd you know?"
"I know... because I'm feeling the same way now," Sakuragi said. "It's getting harder for me to breathe, ya know. It's getting harder for me to get by, especially when I'm hanging out with her. I feel as if my heart's going to burst. I wanted to tell her what I feel, just so I could ease my heart."
"You're suddenly so serious, Hana," Rukawa said quietly. Sakuragi gave him a sad smile.
"Yeah, well...-"
"Stop frowning," Rukawa interjected. "And get that darn smile off your face. It doesn't suit you."
"Kaede."
"Let's make a deal," Rukawa proposed. "You tell Haruko your feelings for her, I tell Sendoh that I've fallen in love with him. After that, we're home free. How's that?"
Sakuragi narrowed his eyes. "I know you, you little cheat. You won't tell him anything at all. You're just saying that to make me feel better."
Rukawa flinched. Darn, he should spend less time with this 'ahou.
"You're a coward, that's what you are," Sakuragi said, his annoying grin back on his face. "You won't even tell him. You'd just continue to stalk him for the rest of your miserable existence."
"Take that back."
"Oh yeah? I bet you wouldn't even take a simple challenge," Hanamichi said, knowing that a 'challenge' would push Rukawa to do some action.
"What challenge?"
"Tell Sendoh that you've fallen for him."
"I'll do that. In fact, I'll do that right now."
"No, you don't understand," Sakuragi said, grinning even wider. "You have to be *creative*."
"Now, what the hell do you mean?"
"You to tell him your feelings with style."
"You wish."
"Hah! I knew you couldn't do it!"
"Shut up, what the hell do I have to do?" Rukawa asked. "I bet you I can do it better than you ever could."
"Does that mean you'll accept the challenge?" Hanamichi asked.
"Yeah," Rukawa drawled. "And when I did whatever challenge you give me, make sure you'll wear a grass skirt and do the hula while you tell Haruko your feelings."
"Deal," Sakuragi said. He suddenly stood up, grabbed Rukawa by the arm and dragged him out of the cafe.
Four tables away, a spiky-haired ace was trying hard to fight his tears.
*******************
"Okay. It's decided," Ayako said with finality, hitting the table with her deadly paper fan the way a judge would hit a gavel during a court session. "We have to make it clear that the decision was based on the choice of the majority. It's been decided upon votation that instead of dancing the Macarena and the Ketchup Song, reciting an excerpt from Shakespeare's Macbeth, performing a dramatic monologue, and performing a mime, Rukawa Kaede will serenade Sendoh Akira along with the other starting members of Shohoku Basketball team with the exception of the captain, thus singing the song suggested by the majority, which is the Alphabet Song."
The boys hooted. Haruko cheered. Sakuragi cackled. Rukawa fumed.
Why did Sakuragi have to involve the whole team? He would never forget the torture he'd been through while his team mates thought of the most 'creative' way of telling Sendoh Akira his feelings and voting on which is the best. Plus, he had to go through another round when they suggested the songs. Someone suggested 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' and 'Ladybird, Ladybird'. Frankly, Rukawa couldn't figure out what Mary's possession of lamb has to do with his feelings for Sendoh. He doubted that ladybirds are concerned either.
His teammates were too twisted for the likes of him.
Finally, they have to settle for the Alphabet Song, since, according to Kogure, it has 'sufficient' lyrics and that would 'insinuate' his feelings for Sendoh.
"That's it, then!" Miyagi exclaimed. "Mitsui, Sakuragi and I will play the second voice. Akagi-sempai would conduct, Kogure-sempai would play the guitar, Aya-chan will take care of the tambourine- or was it the triangle?- and Haruko-san will play the maracas. And you, Rukawa, will be the lead."
"Ne, Kitsune, aren't you grateful to the team?" Sakuragi asked. "We all decided to help you! Isn't it nice of us to do so?"
"Yeah, Rukawa," Miyagi agreed. "You should thank us."
"That's right," Mitsui said. "Anyway, we're going to do this tonight. Tonight, all your dreams will come true, Rukawa Kaede."
Rukawa doubted that.
Tonight, Rukawa thought, Sendoh Akira would cease to talk to him forever.
"You should thank us," Sakuragi said.
Rukawa Kaede, at the moment, wanted to die.
***************************
"Are you sure I look okay, Hiro?" Sendoh asked for the fifty-ninth time.
"Yes, you look fine, so stop pacing!" Koshino snapped.
"Are the sunflowers[2] okay? Will Rukawa-kun like these sunflowers?"
"Well, you don't have any choice, do you? The flower shop ran out of roses," Koshino pointed out. He was sitting (sprawled was more like it) on Sendoh's sofa while the latter kept on pacing and pacing and pacing until Koshino thought that his neck would snap.
"What about the tie?"
"I'm sure Rukawa wouldn't have any aversions towards Tweety."
"The polo shirt?"
"Periwinkle's a good color."
"The hair?"
"More erect than usual, but it's fine."
"What about the pants?"
"I'm sure Rukawa wouldn't mind the knee-holes on your slacks. They look cool. And um... 'ironic'."
"The shoes?"
"Rukawa wouldn't blame you if you wanted to wear your lucky rubber shoes."
"Do I look okay, Hiro-kun?"
"How about if you stop pacing and thinning your carpet and get your ass over to Rukawa's apartment?" Koshino asked irritably.
"What if Sakuragi-kun's there? What if they're really dating, and that-"
"Hey, we talked about this already," Koshino interrupted. "You said that you would just tell him your feelings, and that you wouldn't expect anything from him. Don't turn back now. If worst comes to worst, well at least, you were honest with him and yourself."
Sendoh smiled and gave Koshino a brotherly hug. "Arigatou, Hiro-kun."
"What are friends for?" Koshino said, his irritation now forgotten. "Hey, it's seven o'clock. Get going. I'll watch over your house while you're gone."
"Thanks again Hiro..." Sendoh trailed off. "Ne, Hiro, did you hear that?"
Koshino frowned and tried to listed to the surroundings. "Is that a guitar?"
"And a tambourine?"
"And a maracas?"
"Where-"
"It's from outside," Koshino said as he dragged Sendoh towards the latter's balcony. When they got there, Koshino didn't know if his heart would stop beating whether because of shock or from controlling his laughter.
Down below was the second best team in the perfecture. Kogure was calmly sitting on the side-walk, strumming the guitar. Ayako was hitting the tambourine on either her palm, or Miyagi's head. Haruko was happy enough with her maracas. Mitsui, Miyagi and Sakuragi stood near Rukawa, all three wearing shirts with coconut trees printed on them plus pants with a smiley on the left thigh. Akagi was wearing a tux and was holding a conductor's stick. Rukawa was on the very front, giving Sendoh a look of desperation, of anxiety, of irritation, of appreciation, and even of something else which Sendoh couldn't quite put his finger onto.
He smiled down at Rukawa.
Perhaps he has a chance with the younger guy after all.
"Oi! Smiley! Listen to what Rukawa has to say! Let's hit it, everyone!" Sakuragi said while signalling his cohorts to start the racket.
Everyone looked at the primitive-looking captain of Shohoku. Akagi nodded and started conducting.
The guitar was the first. Then the tambourine. Then the maracas. And then Rukawa.
Sendoh thought he would die when he heard Rukawa's soft, but angelic voice. Never mind the song. And never mind the three frustrated singers /screaming/ and /howling/ in the background.
A you're adorable
(Adorable!)
B you're so beautiful
(Beautiful!)
C you're so cute and full of charm
(Full of chaaaaaaaarm!)
D you're a darling
(Darling)
E you're exciting
(Exciting)
F you're a feather in my arms
(My aaaaaaaaarms!)
G you're so good to me
(To me!)
H you're so heavenly
(Heavenly)
I you're the one I idolize
(Idoliiiiiiiiize!)
J we're like jack and jill
(jack and jill)
K you're so kissable
(kissable)
L you're the love life in my arms.
(My aarrmsss...)
(M, N, O, P,)
I could go on all day...
(Q, R, S, T!)
Alphabetically speaking... you're okay *wink**wink*
U make my life complete
(Complete!)
V means you're very sweet
(Sweet!)
(W, X, Y, Z)
It's fun to wander through the alphabet with you, to tell you what it means to me.
(To me!)
By the end of the song, tears were falling from Koshino's eyes while he laughed helplessly, crumpled on the floor of Sendoh's balcony.
"Man! Y-you guys.. should s-stick to b-b-basketball! Hwahahahaha!!!" Koshino said in between gasps.
"Come down here and say that to my face!" Sakuragi yelled. "It's not easy being the second voice!"
"Second-... Hwahahahahahaha!!!"
"Why- you..."
Sakuragi was now being held by his team mates while he struggled profusely, wanting to bash his fist on Koshino's face. Rukawa, on the other hand, was looking cool on the outside, but he knew that his palms, his armpits, his *whole* body was sweating from anxiety.
'That's it,' he thought, 'Sendoh's never gonna talk to me again.'
But Sendoh vanished from the balcony and the next minute, he was in front of Rukawa.
They stared at each other for a long, long time, ignoring the riot around them. They didn't hear Sakuragi's ranting, nor Koshino's laughter, nor the other people's attempts to either calm Sakuragi or attack Koshino (who was still laughing his head off at the balcony). No, Rukawa and Sendoh weren't paying attention to the riot. Nor did they pay attention to the sirens of the police cars. Someone called the police and reported that a bunch of teen-aged deviants were attempting to destroy the serenity and solitude of the community. An old woman reported that these teen-aged deviants were against world peace.
No, Rukawa and Sendoh weren't paying attention to the racket. They were too busy reading the emotions swimming on each man's eyes.
"You look... good," Rukawa said, breaking the silence.
"You sing well," Sendoh said. "I mean it. But they drowned your voice, so it was hard for me to hear you."
"Oh."
"So."
"So."
"Oi, quit rambling and just say what you want to say!" Sakuragi and Koshino yelled to their respective charges.
"Anou... Akira-"
"Anou... Kaede-"
"You first-" they both said. The whole team, plus the cops and the people who gathered to see what the commotion was about sweatdropped.
Sendoh and Rukawa shrugged.
And then they both dove towards each others mouth, earning applause from the audience.
"I never knew the alphabet song was so romantic," a passerby said.
Everyone just nodded their heads in agreement.
*******
o.wa.ri
*******
PS...
Rukawa pulled away from Sendoh and went to his bag and rummaged into it. He pulled out a pink grass skirt, and tossed it over to his best friend.
"Deal's a deal," Rukawa said as he walked back to Sendoh and wrapped an arm around the older guy's waist. "Do the hoola."
*******
o.wa.ri
*******
[1] I don't know if that flavor exists.
[2] I don't know if there are sunflowers in their place. I just got to write that one...
March 2003
Revised: 18 October 2003
