As I got home that day, I felt a strange sensation fulfill me. As if, what John had told me had saved my life. But I also felt like I was slipping away. Ever since I had parted with her, well, I felt like I was suffocating. But time was beginning to heal my wounds. And while John had given me a indescribable hope, I felt that they had been torn open again. I staggered home that day, floating the whole time. I didn't think about what I had heard, or about anything. And as I sat on my peaceful couch inside Dr. Malone's small, but comfortable flat, I started to begin to absorb the shock.

Could it be done? How hard was this goal? This Hand of God. Was it just an impossible dream for me to reconcile with? How come fate is so cruel! To go on an endless quest, just to obtain what I had lost so painfully those years ago. I wanted it, but I didn't want to want it in vain. This would be a life long quest! And if I failed, then I will have wasted my life.

Dust. My life, it was all about making dust. That's how the angels saw it, and that is how I wanted to see it, how that side of me wanting to do the right thing felt at least. So if this is my path, will I be creating dust? Maybe that should be how I judge this situation. I suppose its better then wandering around without any direction. So then I got up. Took out my homework, and began working on it. "I'll just play in the club, at least John will be happy," I said out loud to myself.
"Will, I think you made the right choice," replied Kirjava. "I'm not sure what to do either, you trail of thought was beyond my help."
"Well maybe that is why we have our own mind's," I replied to Kirjava. "After all, you can't be in charge of everything I do." We both smiled at each other, yes a smile, maybe my first one in such a long time.
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"That kid sure did seem shocked," said Notsurira. "By the way, what was his name again?"
I answered her with simple answer without thinking, "That was Will Parry. He is in my Science class. I guess we're sort of friends, but I've only known him for a little bit."
"Well I guess that whole hand of God certainly got him interested," replied Notsurira. "Do you think he'll follow Go?"
"I hope so," I replied. "He seems good at thinking things out, and perspective, so maybe he has some natural talent."
"He seems so depressed though," Notsurira replied. "Is he knew to the school John?"
"Yeah he just moved here," I answered. "I am not sure much about him, but I one day invited him to sit at my table for lunch, and well, I guess that means we're sort of friends since he shows up everyday."
"That was quite a story though," replied Notsurira after a short while of thought. "You should be a writer."
Taken aback by her statement, and not feeling very together at the time I replied in a somewhat depressed tone, "yeah story."
After that I faded into thought and memories. We were on the bus ride home, and it had been a whole day since I had talked to Will. I just couldn't confront him today, after what happened yesterday and all. 'Well, we do have go club tomorrow,' I thought. Maybe then things will become clearer.
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I walked up the long stairways once again. I sort of felt like turning back, I was still unsure about this whole thing. Sometimes, I just wanted to lay back and do nothing. I slowly thought about heading home as I approached the small grey door.
"Remember Will," started Kirjava as I nervously considered the cold door knob. "You said you'd go, you should go. You might make some friends here after all."
"But Kir," I cried out softly. "How can I play a game when all I think about is..."
But then Kirjava interrupted, "You remember how it was when you first got back home? You never stopped thinking about them, neither did I. But you know what? We kept going, we kept living. I know how hard it was, I don't want that to happen again. But we can't put these kind of restrictions on ourselves. Because if we do, we will still think about them. We'll more importantly wreck our lives!"
"Your right," I replied. A small tear dripped from my face to the ground. I sat on the long dark stairs and looked at Kirjava in a sorrowful mood.
"I, I.." started Kirjava. "I'm sorry Will. I'm just trying to do what's best. I feel the same way though. I'm, I'm nothing but a Hypocrite."
"No Kirjava," I replied sharply. "You are right, I know you are! We need to reassure both of us, 'cause we are one. We both feel the same kind of pain. So lets just move on. Thank you." Kirjava only starred at me with her pale green eyes, that looked like they had aged a thousand years. I scooped her off the ground and hugged Kirjava for a little bit, her soft fur bathing against me. Then I put her down and said, "let's go."
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I hope you enjoyed this chapter.