"Where have you been going with your friend lately Will?" I asked him as we both sat on the couch, him doing his homework, and I drinking some coffee. "I'm just kind of curious since you been staying after school to be with them lately."
"I'm in a club Mary," Will replied. He didn't seem to want to talk, he never did. But he was a respectful person, so his tone wasn't harsh or angry. It was just his reply. If he really wanted to talk, I knew that he would have said more. But he never did.
While I didn't mean to pry, but I couldn't contain my curiosity. "What kind of club will?" It wasn't that I thought he could be doing something wrong, or that I needed to worry about him. Maybe it was just my nature. But then again, here was Will, the kid who's mom was locked away, who had left his only love behind, who had never brought a friend home or anything. And, well almost never smiled.
"It's a Go club," Will replied. "Why? do you know something about it."
"Well," I replied, hoping to keep this conversation as friendly as I could. "I did have a professor who played Go. It was professor List, remember? He was the one who helped me not go to jail for what I did." Yes, I had a lot to thank him for. When we had returned, I was immediately arrested. Who wouldn't get arrested for what I did? I had destroyed hundreds of thousands of dollars of machinery, and years of work. Faked my identity and even stole stuff. It seems that neither Will or I had much to return to. Anyways, at my trial, Professor List appealed to the courts punishment of 15 years in jail, and requested that since I was a good worker, with a good deal of knowledge, that I come work for the state under extreme conditions. And that is how I avoided imprisonment. Sure life was harder now, my income was low, I'm always under watch, but its better then jail I guess.
"Yes I remember him," Will replied. I guess there wasn't much I could do after that. His response, no his decision, was solid and firm. He didn't ever want to budge, he was just to independent. And I wasn't his mother, and if I tried to hard to be his mother, then all that would do would hurt him. So I got up, finished the last drops of my coffee, grabbed a book from the shelf, and began to read.
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The trees had become adapted to the fall around now. There leaves had changed colors, and for some reason, they seemed mightier then before. Were there colors more vivid or something? Ah I don't really know. I guess thats how fall is. But even though those leafs are dying, maybe there is something symbolic about it. Fall is a peaceful time. Was death peaceful, is that what it is saying? But, I still don't want to go. I can't leave yet! Here I am leaning against a tree in the middle of the park, nobody is around, I got yelled at a lot today, maybe some kids would think of ending it. I did get driven out of my house after all. Well if you call that a house, its just a dirty orphanage. Better then nothing yes, but still, it wasn't home. So where is my home? But then again, its no good to worry about these kind of things.
I wiped a tear dropping down from my eyes. I was embarrassed it was there, and quickly covered it up. But there was no one to look, so I don't know why I was ashamed. Then memories started flooding through my head. How I got here, what had happened before that. And, I found myself fading away.
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"I'm glad you came again Will," I said to Will as he walked through the door into the Go club. "Its good to have more members."
"Well, at least I know how to play now," he replied. "So John, where is Notsurira?"
"I don't know," replied John. "She said she had to go home for a little, but she would be back for the club, but its already been a long time."
"Do you think she's ok?" Will asked. I was taken aback by this statement. I wondered why he seemed so concerned, he hardly knew the girl, but then as I thought about it more, he was just being polite I guess.
"I think she's probably ok," I replied uncertainly. "What could happen?"
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It was raining hard outside today. As I walked to school, drenched without an umbrella or really anything to protect me, I started to think again. About what was my purpose here. And why I needed to fulfill such a hard life? Couldn't I just be a normal kid, with a mom and a dad who both cared for me. But I guess I was stuck with what I got. Being yelled at at school and after it. Having only a few different outfits to wear, all second rate and second hand. But most of all, people seemed almost, afraid of me. I wonder why they would be? Sure I'm not a perfect person, what everyone would cling to right away, and fight over to be friends with, but couldn't I just have a few friends. Is that so much to ask? I guess there was John and Will, but it wasn't the same with them. I hardly knew Will, and the guy just seemed so closed up and almost stone hearted. Like he didn't care about anybody anymore. And John, well all he seems to care about is Go. I mean I love it too. I can get away from the world through the board. It helps me forget these worries. But when we're not at the Go club, we're never together. Never as friends, just people who play in the same club.
I was already drenched in the first minutes going outside. But the long walk to school, somehow had its way to make me feel as if I was getting worse. So I walked on miserably through the rain. Why just yesterday I had admired the weather, but I guess this is how fall is. Winter is worse, and chills ran up my spine just thinking about it. I then stopped in the middle of the road, because I almost tripped on a chunk of wood that lay discarded on the ground. I had no clue why it was here, it just seemed like it just wanted to hurt me. Oh I think to much, "I can't be so depressed!" I shouted inside my head.
"Do you want to share my umbrella," a kind voice reached out to me. I quickly scrambled up, only to see the solemn faced Will staring at me inside the drenching rain. "You really should have one you know, here you can share mine."
"Thanks a bunch," I replied. I got up and walked beside him so I could finally dry. And so both of us walked to school that day under that big black umbrella, neither side saying a word, neither side thinking about what was happening, just floating, because the misery we had been feeling before, had been lifted for a little, because that is what happens when you're with friends.